Everything starts with the approach. If you can’t figure out the approach, no matter how good the rest of your game is, you are screwed. In this article I’m going to give you some practical and tested advice so you’ll know how to approach women anywhere. A lot of advice is very specific to a particular location like a nightclub or the gym, but there are fundamentals that underlie any successful approach and these are what I am going to share with you.
Step 1 – Approach women with the right mindset
The first part of approaching is mindset. Try this little exercise in your mind. Imagine there is a beautiful girl that is your ideal type, you look at her and have a second or so of eye contact, you want to talk to her, but you don’t, you stand there frozen and the moment passes. Think about how you would feel in that situation. Now imagine the same situation but this time you approach and she says “sorry I’m busy” and turns away. Think about how you’d feel here. Would you feel good that you actually had the balls to do it? Would you feel good that you at least found out whether it was on or not?
Now imagine you approach and everything goes perfectly and you end up getting laid or having a relationship with that girl (different strokes for different folks). How would you feel then. So now, imagine that you approach 100 girls and assign a likely probability of success. In how many would you get a number? 20%? 60%? Whatever it is, it’s likely enough to make it worth doing. How much do you think you’d learn from 100 approaches? So now, when you are in that situation you know that the benefit of approaching far far outweighs not approaching and you will approach just to avoid that bad feeling of being a wussy that couldn’t step up.
Step 2 – Be prepared
The second part is being prepared. Ideally you see this amazing girl and something pops into your head and it’s the perfect thing to say for just that girl and that situation. That’s the ideal. Most of the time though, your mind will be “blank” or racing between different options which you discard one by one as not good enough. So, pick one opening line that you are comfortable with, that you can use in most situations (not just at the gym when she is on the treadmill going exactly 5mph) and always have that line to fall back on. Here are some pickup openers you can look at, pick the one you like best, and remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be good enough.
Step 3 – Your skeleton system
The third part is having the skeleton of a system in place so that you know roughly what to do. Think about the possible responses to your opening line. Think about how you might introduce yourself – “I’m Richard by the way” , how you might get the number “I go to some great parties with my friends, you should come sometime and check one out. Okay cool, put your number in my phone and I’ll text you next time we go out”, and also, if it makes you feel better, a way to escape if you need it – “it’s been great speaking to you, but I need to meet some friends, what’s the best way of keeping in touch with you”.
So there you have it, 3 things you can do right away (hint – do it now!). I hope that gives you a better idea of how to approach women anywhere. Next we can focus more deeply on conversation skills, dates, and more advanced stuff.
Let me know your thoughts on this one, the above works for me and many other guys but you may have found your own route to successful approaching women.