For this post I want to go through with you a strategy for effectively gaming at night. This will not be heavy on technique but will help explain how to correctly navigate your way through the often confusing world of night game. This is the first of three posts in which I will cover the three locations of night game: clubs, bars and the street, and by the end of them you should have enough knowledge of the social situations that you can effectively game in them, for practice or for a goal.
The basics of Club game:
The most obvious point to start is the environment in a club. It has loud music, a lot of girls who have bitch shields up, a lot of drink, and not nearly enough space! While this may sound like hell to someone practicing game it is in reality the best place to practice! The atmosphere is intimidating because it is designed to be, especially to guys. The club makes it’s money on the bar, so the more uncomfortable someone is, the more likely they are to buy drinks. Once you recognise this, it is easier to deal with it, and use the environment to your advantage:
- If it is cramped while standing it is a great excuse to open by asking someone to move up so you can sit down, or get to the bar. It is also great as a method of isolation: ‘it is too cramped/hot/loud, lets go to the smoking area for some air/more space/some quiet’.
- As it is loud it is perfect to get close to hear and to kino!
- If other guys are clearly uncomfortable, by being (or acting) calm and as if you are having fun you put yourself in a positive light and differentiate yourself from the rest!
- If you can get past a girls bitch shield you not only get a huge amount of respect and feel great but it becomes easier to open her group up, and other groups around! Bitch shields are also a great source of self amusement, they allow you to be a bit inventive in getting round them and it is a good feeling to know you have broken one, and the easiest way is by giving her a positive response to her, complimenting her on her shortness etc. I will not go into a lot of detail as I know there are other posts here which are specific to dealing with disarming bitch shields and handling tests.
So now we know the environment we are dealing with, lets look at what we are there for, the girls! In a club it isn’t likely that people are there to talk about their jobs, childhood or hobbies! They are there for a bit of fun, a release from everyday life! Many guys learning get bogged down in trying to talk to women in a club and wonder why their success rate isn’t high! Remember to bear in mind why they are there, to have fun! Now bitch shields are prevalent in night clubs, but why is this?
When a girl goes out she knows she will be hit on, and she will enjoy some of the attention but being honest, she is most likely out for a night with her friends, and after the third or fourth guy comes up to her she will start to put the shield up. Bear this in mind when approaching her, and so don’t be surprised if you don’t get her falling into your arms as soon as you say hi! Now I am not saying to expect, and indeed dread a bitch shield, just be prepared for one, there are other blog posts which deal with this so I will not devote any time to it, other than saying the best way to handle them is positively.
So what is the best way to minimise the chance (or potency) of a bitch shield, or even just how to increase the chance of a successful opener? Remember what they are there for, to have fun! If you open with an opinion opener about if you should dye your hair then that is certainly better than nothing but why not make it a bit more calibrated. They are there to have fun, have a party, escape from their usual world for a little bit. If you open in a way which communicates you are not in that state of mind then the opener is likely to fall flat, likewise if you open with something which doesn’t add to this and increase their enjoyment of the night.
You don’t have to be super high energy, just enjoying yourself (or at least appear to be). Nice, low pressure situational openers are ideal for early on in the night, and you can have short interactions before going back and opening them later on again for longer periods of time. Another way of opening is by forcing an IOI (Indicator of Interest) with a girl before opening, this way you have a good idea of whether she will be warm or not, and if she gives a good response then approach, if she doesn’t nothing has been lost, and you can move on safe in that knowledge.
As for comfort building and escalating remember that you don’t want to be shouting in her ear all night to ask about her pet dog! Instead dance with a few push pull moves (which have been covered in another post) and if you want to speak to her for long periods of time isolate her to a quieter part of the club or outside to the smoking area/outside the club. This is true for escalating with K-closes. However tempting it is try not to K close her in front of her friends, as this can hinder your chances of a same night lay and could damage the rest of the interaction, as she does not want to be seen as ‘easy’ so show a bit of understanding and isolate her first.
Time passes differently in a nightclub compared to the outside world. There are really only three ‘phases’ in a club which everyone experiences relative to their time in the club.
1. Establishment: This is the first phase when everyone has just arrived and they are still settling into the night. At this point extraction is possible but unlikely if they have paid a big entry fee (e.g. in London something around £10-20, for university students £5-8, in the USA I am unaware!). If they have been looking forward and have planned to be in this club at this day then it is also very hard to extract at this point, but if neither of these two points are applicable then it is perfectly possible to extract a set to another venue. People tend to be a bit more guarded at this point in the night,as they have not yet loosened up but it is a brilliant time to do some social proofing (asking short questions and having very short interactions with almost everyone).
2. Socialising: At this point people have had a bit more to drink, have caught up with each other and feel more comfortable and are willing to start socialising! You will notice more IOI’s are given off at this stage, however it is nearly impossible to extract at this point as people have just settled in and are enjoying themselves. Now is the time to follow up on the social proofing from earlier and also to engage for longer periods of time.
3. Closing: This phase occurs in the last hour or two of the club being open. Opening new sets is a little bit more difficult as it is likely they have had a few too many guys ‘try it on’ already, but extraction with the ones you have already interacted with becomes a real possibility, and even more likely if you have been seeding the idea and building enthusiasm about it for a little while beforehand. This is a time to be in one set only with the end point in mind.
So hopefully with all of this information you will be able to start to increase your understanding and enjoyment of club game. Below I have outlined a step by step strategy for you to start gaming in a club effectively:
1. Establish a base, familiarise yourself with the club by social proofing, asking questions such as ‘where are the bathrooms, other bars etc’
2. Go back in and re-open some warm sets from the social proofing stage.
3. Spend some time on a dancefloor, ideally either with a set or opening new ones.
4. Go back in and re-open the warmest sets from earlier, spending a longer and longer period of time.
5. Prepare for extraction/closing by seeding the ideas.
6. Work to extract/close.
Go out there and try to implement this basic plan and utilise the advice given. If you have a question about club game which you would like answered leave a comment or send an email!
Next in this series of posts…bar game, have fun guys!