In Stealth Attraction I go into detail on connecting with a woman, showing you secrets that I’ve NEVER revealed anywhere else before.
The connection techniques I teach you in that program are so advanced that some guys find it hard to apply them.
So today I want to touch on rapport building questions, which is a basic level of rapport but still incredibly powerful.
Building a connection using questions which is so strong, she will feel compelled to see you again and won’t understand why, it just feels like you understand her.
Once you master this area, you can then work on fine tuning your rapport building skills by learning the advanced techniques mentioned in the program.
So let’s get stuck in…
Be very observant
It’s important to notice things about her that most guys never would. If you think about it “most” guys will talk to a girl about boring mundane everyday things, which lead to zero attraction and and a dry conversation.
But with you it’s different, because you are more observant than the average guy. You notice things about her appearance, like her clothes, jewelry, nails, perfume, etc. Women are crazy about details and so put a lot of effort into their appearance.
For example, her shoes may match her nails, toe nails and handbag or her necklace is a symbol which means something to her and has some emotion behind it (a story).
Evoke passion and feeling
Women like to talk, we all know that.
But they REALLY like to talk about their passions, so asking questions which help them reveal a deeper side of them will allow them to open up, thus eliciting trust.
For example her passion maybe dancing or music. You need to touch on these points by showing you understand exactly why she feels that way about them.
- Her: I love music, I’m taking a producer’s course at college now actually
- You: Wow, that’s cool. I’d imagine producing your own music must be one of the coolest things you can do, like coming up with your own beats, sounds and crafting something from nothing. It’s a rewarding thing to be able to do something like that right?
- Her: Yeah exactly! It’s soooo rewarding, it’s all I think about and I’ve…. blah blah blah
You get the point.
2 great questions you need to ask
Here are some questions that you need to consider asking. In sales they are known as “probing questions” which help the customer open up and trust you more. In attraction they are used to hook and build trust, so she begins to unravel and really like you.
Do you remember your first day at school?
This question will make the girl think really hard about her past and it should be asked once you’ve lead into it properly. Don’t just ask this outright. It’s an amazing question for making women feel like they’re children again, so use it wisely.
You could say: I was talking to a friend of mine today and he asked me if I remember my first day at school, I hadn’t thought about that in so long, but when I started to think back I just had so many awesome thoughts whiz back into my mind like meeting new people, mucking around in the playground etc, I walked around for the first part of the day with a huge grin on my face. What about you, do you remember your first day at school?
If you could wake up tomorrow anywhere in the world where would it be?
This is an amazing question that replaces the boring ones you might come out with usually. What it also does is help her relate any feelings of comfort she gets about visualising this holiday back to you, it’s called trance-state visualisation.
You could say: I’m going to Thailand this year… are you going anywhere? Actually, if you could wake up tomorrow anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Using hooks and connecting
Hooks are a way of keeping the conversation flowing and finding out more about the person in detail. You’re kind of stacking knowledgeable talking points on that person which you can then use later.
Those hooks are then used for connecting in a positive way, which elevates that conversation and induces a deep level of rapport. Clever stuff right?
There are 7 ways you could be dealing with a hook. Using the holiday question above, let’s assume she said “I would wake up in Rio De Janeiro” and use that as a hook which we can connect with below:
1. “Oh awesome, I’d love to wake up in Medellin, Columbia” Or “Oooh, Rio? I don’t like Brazilian people” (Rejection, bad move).
2. “Yeah, me too” (Trying to connect, bad)
3. “Cool, my brother just got back from there “(Semi-rejection, relating to yourself, neutral)
4. “Cool, the bars are great and the people are friendly there” (Positive logical connection, ok)
5. “It’s really hot there and the guys are supposed to be dicks” (Negative logical connection, bad)
6. “Awesome, So you can walk around and enjoy the atmosphere when carnival is on, everyone’s happy without a car in the world, they only want to party and make new friends, that’s a great holiday” (Positive connection, affirming their choice with visualisation, emotional connection, good).
7. “I think they’d love you in Rio, you seem like the kind of person that would fit in there. The energy is amazing and you’d be right at home.” (Purely emotional connecting, cold-reading, good).
Quick tips on rapport building
- Don’t ask boring questions – Questions like “do you come here often” just scream out you’re a loser, so stop asking them. Change things up and ask deeper questions.
- Never ask too many questions – Although questions are vital for building rapport, asking too many can also lose the attraction which has been built because it looks like you’re nosy, so keep them to a small number.
- Let her do most of the work – You’ve heard of the old 80/20 rule right? Well that same rule applies to rapport building. Ask the right questions (20%) and let her do most of the talking (80%).
That’s it dude! Rapport building questions are very easy to master once you have the confidence to ask them. After that, it’s plain sailing.
If you still suck at building rapport, you should check this out.
What are some questions you ask a girl which are great for building rapport? Let me know in the comments below…