Remember that hot blonde you saw at the bar last night? Put yourself in her shoes for a moment. You’re standing there, minding your business with your equally hot girlfriends, and a guy you’ve never met before comes up to you. He tries to get you into a conversation. It’s obvious that he’s not your normal type, but there’s something unusual about him – so you don’t immediately shoot him down. He’s more interesting than the other fifty guys you’ve already brushed off. He’s got an unusual opening line and, after a couple of minutes, you’re hooked. You feel an unmistakable urge to give him your phone number. You can’t help looking into his eyes. His lips look kissable. This is amazing – you’ve never met anyone like him before.
Then he asks you if you come here often.
That old chestnut? “No,” you reply. What else can you say?
He looks confused. He asks what you do.
Your heart sinks. All that mystique he had is vanishing. “I’m a
model,” you say.
“That’s…interesting,” he says.
Here it comes: the awkward pause. He looks nervous. He starts to shuffle and fidget. You’re disappointed; he looked like he was going to be different but he’s just like all the rest. You blow him off.
Been there before? I know I have. Is it any wonder girls find this a total turn-off? It’s all very well memorizing a few interesting openers and nailing your approach. That gets you into conversation with a girl. It’s just the first stage. You’re not going to actually close anyone unless you can master the art of conversation. That might sound difficult, but it doesn’t have to be. There are some simple rules you can follow that will improve your game one hundred percent. Try these the next time you are out:
1. Avoid hairdresser conversation
Think back to the last time you had your hair cut. What kind of conversation did you have with your stylist (you are going to a stylist, right?) What kind of questions did he ask? I bet it was a boring and logical and it did nothing more than encourage one-word answers. How was it? Boring, boring, boring! The New York Times says that a good-looking girl will be approached an average of forty times every time she goes to a club. Can you blame her for blowing you out if you ask her if she comes here often? The true PUA doesn’t ask predictable questions that generate predictable responses. Conversations with him are interesting, dynamic and empathetic. They are never boring.
2. Don’t interview her
Don’t ask a question and then fire off another. This isn’t a job interview. It’s really simple; ask her an interesting question and then have the confidence to listen to her answer without scrabbling around for something else to ask before she’s even finished. You need to pay attention; she’ll give you plenty of directions to take the conversation.
When you get really good, you can avoid asking questions altogether. Try making a statement about her and encouraging her to agree or disagree. You don’t need to be a cold reading guru to pull this off; it doesn’t matter if your statement is correct. Even if you are miles off, she’ll still want to correct you. And once you’ve got her talking, the game is on. Go for it!
3. Avoid the obvious
Be original. Come out with something she’s never heard before. Don’t compliment her on her dress, her shoes, her eyes. She gets that every night. And unless you are into the later stages of a seduction, firing out compliments is going to lower your value in her eyes. AFCs do that – you don’t. You’re different, right?
4. Be prepared: arm yourself with interesting answers to standard questions
You’re going to be a conversational expert if you follow these rules, but she probably won’t be. Once you’ve got her hooked, and she starts asking you questions (remember, that’s an IOI), chances are she’ll ask you some very predictable questions: name, age, occupation – you get the drift. Since you know these questions are coming, why not get some interesting answers ready? You’ve memorized your openers, right? Now memorize some impressive answers. If the conversation gets boring, she’ll blame you – even if it’s her fault. Don’t let that happen!
5. Talk with passion
Let yourself go. If you talk about something passionately, it’ll automatically give the conversation fizz and sparkle. Plus, remember that ninety percent of communication is non-verbal. Don’t be afraid to use your body to emphasize points. If you can talk with passion about things you care about, it draws people in. If you enjoy something, let it show, be expressive, use visual and emotive language. People get caught up in it and start to feel good too. When they feel good, they will want to talk to you more. It’s not rocket science.
Do these things and you will be much more interesting, not just with women, but with everyone. Because most people don’t follow these rules, it’s easy to stand out.
I can only give you brief tips in these emails. If you want to really get to grips with mastering conversation, as well as the other important aspects of successful interactions with women, you should think about checking out our Best Deal Ever which contains: Stealth Attraction, Approaching Confidence, Secrets to 9′s and 10s, AND the Social Domination Blueprint. Look at it here.
Until next time,