A Pickup Artist, most commonly, abbreviated to PUA is a term used to describe a certain kind of man. A man who is skilled in: meeting, attracting and seducing women. The term Pickup Artist started in the 1970’s with How to Pick Up Girls by Eric Webber. The primary goal of any Pickup Artist is to have the ability to approach, meet and seduce any women he wishes.

The way in which an AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) approaches the art of Pickup is wide and varied, as each person has different aspects of their game and their approach to seduction that they need to improve. There are certain things you should do, regardless of which methodology of game and seduction you follow, in order to become a Pickup artist.

I’ve broken down the transition form AFC to PUA into four easy to follow steps. The following is a guideline to help you get the very best out of your entry into the world of Pickup and seduction.

Step 1: Appearance
Most methods of Pickup agree that genetic looks are far less important to male-female relationships than society says they are. You need to look at yourself and accept the things about yourself that you can’t change, and also pay attention to the things you can change: Your hair, clothes, complexion etc.

All of the great Pickup Artists have gone through this transition.This is an important step in becoming a Pickup artist, if you look good; you’re going to feel good.

There is also a technique called Peacocking (Peacocking means dressing for attention. Just like Peacock’s use their feathers to get a mate, the same technique is used in Pickup to attract women) where your fashion is key to interacting and attracting women. The general ideology begin peacocking is that by dressing in an outlandish or unique way, you attract women to yourself. It’s important that wherever your new look takes you, it is congruent. If you’re going to dress like a rockstar, you should act like a rockstar!

Pick a Style
If you’re not sure what kind of style to go for, have a look through an issue of GQ or any high street fashion magazine.

Get a Haircut
Make sure that your new cut and style suit you. Don’t go to a barber, go to a proper hairdresser and ask for a consultation. They’ll be able to give you a good idea of what will suit you.

Get new clothes
Now that you know what style you’re going for, make sure you buy clothes that fit! Nothing looks worse than a man who doesn’t know how to dress himself.

Step 2: Approach
To be a pickup artist you have to be able to approach any woman in any situation and leave with her details. You can learn pickup lines and openers in numerous books and online sources, but the only way to get good at is to get out there and do it! You need to Approach! Approach! Approach!

The majority of people entering into the world of the Pickup Artist have AA (Approach Anxiety); this is very common and with a little concentrated effort can be overcome. The reason most students of pickup are frightened of approaching women is that they fear rejection. Rejection should not be feared, you can learn a lot from rejection. The more you get rejected, the more you’re going to learn about male-female interactions, it’s a learning curve.

In terms of opening, don’t worry about that at first. Feel free to ask simple generic questions. The initial goal is to become comfortable and proficient talking to strangers. As you get more used to it, you can concentrate more on what you’re saying and the reaction it provokes in the target.

When approaching, pay particular attention to the energy level of the set. You want to be entering the set with a slightly higher energy level than the set already has. If you enter a set with low or less energy, you’re going to find it very difficult to keep their attention.

Approach at least ten people a day
These can be male or female. At first don’t try to get number closes (unless it’s going really well!), just get yourself used to approaching and talking to strangers.

Approach male and female groups
Don’t just approach woman on there own. There’s nothing particularly wrong with doing that, but you’ll learn lot more if you can interact with large and mixed groups.

Read
Learn as many openers and routines as you can (make sure you use and practice them). The more you learn, the less chance there is of your mind going blank when in set.

Step 4: In set/ building attraction
A good pickup artist will pay particular attention to his behaviour in-set. It’s not enough to just open a set and ask for a number (although this sometimes works). A pickup artist must build attraction for the target and leave her wanting more.

Eye contact
Eye contact is one of the most important steps in building attraction. You should not stare at the target! Maintaining good eye contact helps to invest the target in the interaction and creates sexual tension.

Humour
You should use the time in-set to demonstrate your sense of humour. You can do this by making fun of her, or telling her something funny about yourself or someone else. A good sense of humour is very attractive to women!

Disqualification
People always want what they can’t have, so don’t make yourself too available. Disqualify yourself from being a potential suitor as early as possible. Also remember to disqualify them (do this in a nice way, use humour- “you’re way too short for me”)

Kino
A great way to build attraction and escalate is to use Kino. You want the Kino to appear as natural as possible. Don’t just start grabbing and touching the target! If you’re expressive with you hand gestures, escalating Kino should appear natural, and not creepy!

Interest
At some point during the interaction you’re going to have to demonstrate that you are interested in the target. This is absolutely fine as long as you have built a decent amount of attraction. You want it to appear that, after talking to her, you’ve become attracted to her. You want her to think that your decision to be with her was based on more than just looks!

Step 4: Closing
So you’ve got a new style, you know how to approach and build attraction…what next? To be a great pickup artist you need to be able to number close. There are many different approaches to closing, and eventually you’ll find the ones that suit you and your game best. Over time you will also be able to develop your own techniques. But to start, it’s best to follow already proven plans.

Number close
The conversation has gone well, it’s time to leave but you still haven’t gotten that number! Here are a few examples of how to close:

“What’s the best way of staying in touch with you?”
This is an indirect way of asking for a phone number. This is fine to use if you’ve been ‘under the radar’ through most of the interaction. If you’ve demonstrated your interest to the target, you shouldn’t really use this.

“I want your number” -”can i have your number?”
This is a dangerous one as you’re demonstrating a direct interest in the target. You should only really use this if you’re sure that you’ve built enough attraction between you and the target.

“I’m going to call you”
“You don’t have my number”
“Oh yeah, that’s right” (Pull out a pen)
This is a great way to get a number, it’s non threatening and since you’ve pulled out a pen, you’ve put the target on the spot and she’ll find it hard to reject you.

For more advice on how to be a Pickup Artist, visit: http://www.puatraining.com/articles/how-to-be-a-pua.html

-TC

An explanation of value with a hint of outcome independence.

So I’ve spent the last few weeks in some interesting conversations with some guys on the essence of value. After a particularly insightful conversation last night I think I’ve come up with a few theories I thought I’d share.

Since starting the game I’ve never really had AA, I just don’t suffer from it. My desire to succeed outweighed my fear of rejection. Until talking yesterday I never really understood just how valuable this was.

As far as we understand alot of attraction is based on value.

We all want what we can’t obtain, we seek girls with higher value. A hotter girl isn’t as attractive if she’s slept with everyone as her market value decreases, unless we are lower value than her, i.e. struggle with girls, feel the need to validate ourselves by sleeping with her based on her looks alone etc.

This value however isn’t a measure of our physical or financial worth. Being rich doesn’t Automatically make you high value.

If you have a posh car and you show it to everyone you meet you’re actively seeking validation from them, therefore you don’t feel higher value, you’re seeking confirmation of your value from others, ergo you don’t recognise that you have value. If you don’t see it, then why would anyone else?

So real Value is portrayed, in our body language, in the way we speak, hell in everything you do.

You could be working in Macdonalds, yet portray incredibly high value.

eg

HB: What do you do for a living?
Maccy D Dude: I could tell you, but I don’t think you’lld understand.
HB: What do you mean?
Maccy D Dude: Well I think you may make a judgement without fully understanding the situation.
HB: I dont understand, tell me.
Maccy D Dude: Ok, I work at Macdonalds, but you need to understand why, I work here because I had a very poor upbringing and whilst here I can get aid in a catering qualification, which I plan on using to get myself work in a kitchen at a bar, with only a few years working there I hope to get my way up to being a head chef and eventually completeing all the qualifications necessary to be able to open up my own restaurant serving delicacies I like to invent in my spare time.

Now as you can tell despite the fact he currently has a job that isn’t particularly impressive he is able to convey value by having a clear ambition, he also doesn’t degrade his job, or hide it. In fact he sort of qualifies the girl before telling her what he does to get her to actually view the situation without preconceived notions (well as many as possible)

So value is capable of being translated via communication, or to be more to the point Sub-communication.

However how does this help us with regards to game aside form the obvious attraction building? More importantly how can we actually portray this value?

One of the key factors is actually outcome independence. Something I’m beginning to realise is fundamental to Value.

In any given situation, the value of that situation can be viewed differently by any two people.

E.g if a random AFC is in a conversation with an HB the value could be represented as being

Conversation value to AFC = High

Conversation Value to HB= Low

So the AFC would be needing the conversation more than her, if someone where to come and interupt to take The HB to an interview for a new modelling job then after a few moments she may forget that conversation completely, whereas the AFC would remember it for a good while to come.

Now, lets look at the situation again but add numerical values to the value.

AFC = 20

HB = 1

He is 20 times more invested in the conversation than she is.

No imagine someone who is COMPLETELY outcome independent going into the same situation.

MR Outcome Independent Conversation value = 0

HB = 1

Now even though she may only give the conversation a value of 1 it is still significantly higher than his.

Therefore she is alot more invested than he is by default! The situation means more to her than him, and therefore she has more to lose. When she sense this loss she will begin to invest in the situation to try and ensure she doesn’t lose any value. i.e the value of the conversation to her.

This investment increases her buy in to the conversation.

This Increases the value of the conversation to her.

MR Outcome Independent Conversation value = 0

HB = 2

The more she invests, the more she feels a need to maintain the situation, the more she becomes attracted to it.

Now obviously I’ve given the HB a value of 1 because If I gave her a value of 0 both parties would walk away without anything. However, when you take into account how often people actually seek validation you begin to realise that they usually do give some form of value to Absolutely any given situation. It’s just that normally it’s alot less than an AFC.

Why does negging work?

It works because it shows the girl that you haven’t given her any value, on that specific situation and she Bites back because she has given it at least some form of value.

Now obviously being completely outcome independent is easier said than done, however maybe it’ll give you something to focus on. When I first started in the game my desire to succeed outweighed my AA consequently I opened everything not with the aim of getting the girl but with the aim of learning what WOULDN’T work. Therefore I was outcome independent. I am beginning to understand just how much this was a key area of my own development.

Anyway guys just a few random ramblings,

I hope you enjoy.

AFC Adam

I understand routines. I understand why you would want to harvest phone numbers. I understand why you would spend hours and hours learning how to manipulate any interaction. These aren’t things I do personally. One thing I also never do is lie. I recently told a girl that what I wanted from a relationship was for me to have multiple girlfriends and for the girls, in turn, to have multiple boyfriends, keeping everything light and fun with no possibility of jealousy. This lead to me being in a new situation. I am so very happy and excited that I decided to share with you my findings. The situation I am currently in has involved me experiencing the following things.

1.Falling in love with a girl who I consider my main girlfriend.
2.Sleeping with another girl who I see infrequently who is in full knowledge of my main girlfriend’s existence and vice-versa.
3.I assisted in the getting together of my main girlfriend and a self confessed ‘PUA’, who she is with right now which is why I’m online
4.My primary girlfriend asked me yesterday in awe at how I made her feel “How do you exist?” and told me that I had given back her faith in MANkind, and that she has never felt as attached to anyone on such a deep level as does with me. She, after having made one of the biggest womanizers (and by womanizers I mean selfish *@?!) that I know, wait for 5 months before a physical relationship, had blessed me by opening up to me in considerably less time and she feels no regret. She is also aware of my other girlfriends.
5.I have never felt so happy and free from jealousy, I just want to run round the world making people feel good about themselves.

The scariest thing is expecting a ‘No way!’ when suggesting it. Sometimes you’ll get that and they will warm to it. They may then leave but why would you want to be with someone if the only way you could be with them was by settling or lying? If you continue to talk to them but make it clear that you aren’t going to change what you want to suit them it can turn out quite nicely.

Two days ago I was telling a girl the way I manage relationships and what she said went a bit like this.

“No way, I would never do that. Never. I could never do that. Never ever. Maybe for one night, but never longer than one night. Maybe a few but I wouldn’t call it a relationship”

At this point she started rubbing her leg against mine. I was quite taken aback.

Honesty IS the best policy.

-MD

Erik Von Markovich, alias, Mystery vieni considerato da tanti come il fondatore della “seduction community” nella sua forma attuale. Fu il primo ad offrire agli studenti la possibilità di imparare direttamente da lui come sedurre donne ai ‘bootcamp’ attraverso il Metodo Mystery (una seria di tecniche, aperture e routine per rimorchiare le donne). Tra i suoi primi studenti c’era anche un certo Neil Strauss- autore del best seller ‘The Game’. A questi bootcamp Mystery insegnava il suo patentato ‘Mystery Method’ (“metodo mystery”) coprendo le varie fasi della seduzione considerate necessarie dal momento in cui un uomo vede una donna alla quale è interessato ad andare a letto con lei: Attrarre; (creare) Comfort; Sedurre e Conquistare il suo target.

Anche se applaudiamo gli sforzi di Mystery e del Metodo Mystery come pioniere nell’industria, riteniamo che le sue tecniche siano state migliorate e sorpassate, e che la strada da percorrere è quella di un metodo che faccia progredire un uomo da un AFC (SOF) ad un natural pick up artist.

If you are anything like me, you will at some stage have reached a breaking point where you are so sick of not taking the necessary action in certain areas of your life that you begin to dislike yourself. You beat yourself up because you know you could take action, but you can’t, either because you can’t face the failure, the rejection, or you care too much what everyone else thinks.

We all have situations in life in which we feel unease, fear, or at our worst - total paralysis. These situations can literally destroy the quality of our lives if we let them. No matter how great one area of our life is, if we still feel fear in another it can be contagious and bring down our whole quality of life. Some of us lack confidence in social situations, some of us at work, and others when it comes to our bodies. Whatever is the case, we can never feel truly fulfilled until we feel confident in all areas of our life. Wouldn’t it be great if every time we felt that fear start to overcome us we had a ready set of tools to snap back into a confident state?

Here’s all you need to know:

THERE ARE TOOLS AND TECHNIQUES FOR CONFIDENCE - YOU ARE GOING TO LEARN THEM.

This is a unique 3 hour seminar held in London on Saturday 29th March. The price is £60. Let me stress one thing at this point - this is a one off price. The next course of this kind will be more expensive. I am only running it at this price as it is the first time i have launched this course within PUA training and i wanted to make it accessible to all of Gambler’s customers the first time around. Email matt@puatraining.com for bookings and info.

This course is perfect for you if:

You have all the material you need for approaching women but you still don’t feel confident enough to take action
You spend too much time worrying what others will think of you
You aren’t confident in your body language and your voice
You cannot get over your approach anxiety
You want techniques for confidence and you want them now!

Heres the bottom line - there are times when we don’t feel confident, when we feel insecure, or nervous, or scared. I experience these emotions like anyone else. What i have is a set of practical tools for getting over these emotions in everyday situations so that they will never hold you back again.

We all know that in three hours you will not deal with every insecurity you have ever and will ever have. What i CAN guarantee is that you will leave with a new outlook, and tools which you can use in everyday situations to get you out of fear and back in the drivers seat. Does this mean you won’t feel fear again in all those social situations? No, but you will never be held back by your fear again.

Let me stress one final point. This course is not going to be a lecture. It is going to be VERY INTERACTIVE and throughout the three hours you will constantly be putting into practice all the things i am telling you. If you do not feel a different level of energy and confidence by the end of the three hours i will personally refund the price of your ticket.

This will be a HIGH ENERGY event and will need full participation from those involved. Come with a positive outlook and a readiness to change. The 3 hours will be intense and packed with material so there will be little room for those who are not ready when they walk through the door. You have never been to an event like this before.

I look forward to seeing you at this there my friends.

Matthew H - Personal Confidence Coach

To reserve your place email matt@puatraining.com. At this price i am expecting places to fill up fast and therefore cannot guarantee places for everyone. This event will be done on a first come first served basis.

Try this new opener that Gambler has created spontaneously:

(Motion her to take headphone out) “Hey, I wanted to ask you something, I was at home and realised that i’m bored of all my music so I wanted to try some new stuff. I decided i’d ask the next 5 people I saw with iPods what they were listening to.”

I just created a Valentine’s Day themed opener which you can use for the next few weeks! Seasonal openers are pretty thin on the ground. There are especially few for Valentine’s Day. With some slight tweaking you can make it work all year round:
“Let me ask you something…My friend had a difficult situation on Valentines Day. He basically planned to take his girlfriend for an amazing dinner, but a few days before she said she had to work. That was fine, they had a great day the day before. But, on Valentines day, he remembered he needed to cancel the table, but while his girl was at work, he had a thought. He had a friend who was single, and she was his good friend, he thought it would be a really kind thing to do to take her since she had just split up with her boyfriend and was feeling down. He tried to call his girl but she was at work and didn’t answer. He went ahead and went to dinner with this girl, when his girlfriend came home from work, she went mad! They almost split up and still might. We were talking about it and disagreed on whether he was wrong or not, what do you thinik?”

Wuthering Heights by Bronte

————-

While enjoying a month of fine weather at the sea coast, I was thrown into the company of a most fascinating creature: a real goddess in my eyes, as long as she took no notice of me. I ‘never told my love’ vocally; still, if looks have language, the merest idiot might have guessed I has over head and ears: she understood me at last, and looked a return - the sweetest of all imaginable looks. And what did I do? I confess it with shame - shrunk icily into myself, like a snail; at every glance retired colder and farther; till finally the poor innocent was led to doubt her own senses, and, overwhelmed with confusion at her supposed mistake, persuaded her mamma to depart.

——————

The difference is that now you can do something about it! PUATraining wasn’t established in Victorian times!

I was talking to a girl last night and it went a little like this. It is an example of taking a statement from her and making a point that goes along with it but is completely ridiculous but which she can’t really object to. I think it is also a funny little comedy routine!

Her: “Can I use your stuff in the bathroom?”
Me: “You can use my shampoo…but don’t use my shower gels (I have 10 little Molton Brown ones)…But if I find one that I don’t like I’ll give it to you!”
Her: “WHAT!?”
Me: “Well most people would just pretend and say “oooh I got you this gift aren’t I nice” but I’ll tell the truth and say that you can have the one I don’t like”.
Her: “Is that what you do for birthday presents, give something that you don’t want anymore?”
Me: “Well usually I don’t buy presents, I only buy presents for two people”
Her: “What your mum and Alex?”
Me: “Yep exactly”
Her: “Why don’t you buy presents”
Me: “I know too many people!”
Her: “What about girlfriends?”
Me: “Well I used to buy presents for them, up until about a year ago. If you see my ex-girlfriend from years ago, she is dripping in diamonds!”
Her: “Well it’s not about the money, it’s the thought that counts”
Me: “Ah okay cool, I’m glad you said that because what I usually do is make my girlfriends a special present. Like with my ex, I told her she was going to get the best present she ever got in her life, she told all her friends, and she was so excited. Secretly I worked on it one day. I got a leaf and twisted the stick bit into a beautiful shape and then stuck it to the body of the leaf and then I wrote her name on it. I knew it was something beautiful that would express my love for her. A few days before her birthday I wanted to throw her off the scent and make her think she was going to get a boring present, so when we walked past a jewellery shop I asked her if she liked some diamond earrings and she said yes and I made a knowing nod. Now that she was expecting something boring, everything was in place. On her birthday I gave her the leaf and she was so happy, she cried. She seemed like she was really crying, that was how happy she was. She told her friends I got her something else because she didn’t want them to be jealous. So, I could buy expensive gifts, but that experience really taught me something, and I’m glad you agree that it is the thought that counts!”
Her: “…”

We have received this e-mail from our good friend. It’s a great opener ad you should definately try it!

“I’ve tried this one out on all sorts of HBs - including strippers - and it never fails to get them eating out of your palm.

The premise is that you (and your wing) are staying in a nearby hotel. You just arrived in town a few hours ago and as you left your room to go out you noticed that someone had pushed a note under the door. The note said (anything along the lines of): we saw you guys arrive and we think you’re really hot. Swing by room 123 later if you want to play…

So the question you put to the HB is - should we go? It doesn’t really matter what she says, you’ve already demonstrated how desirable you are. General fluff to follow-up includes asking if the HB would go if she was in your shoes. Regardless of the repsonse, follow-up with a neg about how forward she is / how you thought she would have a better sense of adventure…

Obviously, it doesn’t have to be a hotel, could be an apartment or a new neighbour.

Let me know if it gives you guys as much success as it gave us.”