This is it.
It’s where the rubber meets the road. It’s where the boys get seperated from the men.
Going for the number… Here’s how you do it.
Now listen, I’ve been in the game long enough to see where most guys go wrong. Nine times out of ten, guys talk nervously for ten minutes and then stutter out a request for the girl’s number. It doesn’t work and they get blown out. It is possible to make a connection by small-talking someone, but it takes ages.
There are better ways to do it. Try this. The next time you are talking to a hot girl, keep in mind that you should be directing the conversation towards the goal of getting her number at all times. Those kinds of conversations are based around connections and common interests.
Here are a few questions that I might ask if I was trying to make a connection. Try them out.
- What does she do when she isn’t working?
- How does she spend her time?
- What food does she like?
- What places does she like to go to in the evening?
- Is she a party girl?
- Does she like the arts?
- What is something she would like to do but hasn’t yet (e.g. salsa class)?
You might think that these questions would lead into the small-talk I told you to avoid. They don’t have to. They are common interest questions that lead to possible connections. Here’s how I would take a question like that and cash it into a number close.
Me: What places do you like to go in the evening?
Her: I like club/bar X.
Me: Cool, its good there, have you ever been to club Y?
Her: Yeah/No
Me: Well, me and some friends are going there on X day, you should
come.
Her: Yeah/okay
You: Excellent, give me your number.
Or try this one:
Me: What do you like to do when you aren’t working?
Her: I like to go to the theatre/exhibitions/museums/ballet.
Me: Have you been to that new show/exhibition/whatever?
Her: No
Me: Me neither, we should go
Her: Okay, sure.
Me: Great, give me your number.
Do you see what both have in common? Neither conversation features me directly asking for her phone number. By having her agree to do something with me, it’s absolutely natural that she should want to give me her number. In fact, it wouldn’t be unusual for the girl to offer me her number without me asking. It just seems like the thing for her to do. Smooth, right?
Now, I’m not saying it will always be easy to find a connection – you might be too busy to do it, or, for whatever reason, the conversation isn’t flowing like the ones above. In those cases, pull out your trusty all-purpose number close. This one:
Me: You’re cool/It’s interesting talking to you, we should hang out.
Her: Yeah.
Me: What are you doing on Thursday?
Her: Blah. Here’s my number…
Getting the meeting
Even after getting a number, it can be difficult to convert that into a date or another meeting. Here’s what to do!
As she is giving you her number, take her phone and enter yours into the memory. That way, she’ll know it is you when you call. Make sure you’ve arranged something you can do together as described above. And, most importantly, arrange a date there and then. If you’ve already arranged a date, she will be thinking about it. When you call her she will be expecting it. She’ll take the call rather than screening it with voicemail and then binning your message.
There we have it – the do’s and don’ts of getting phone numbers.
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Gambler
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That was great man I have not had problems #closeing my problem is getting a day2 so that really helped. I have actually just recently began studing your stuff though I have been in the community for a while. Guess it is because we are so far away. Thanks for the info cant wait to read more.
Hi Brother, Thank you for your suggestion, wonderful, very diplomatic, I will try the same way to talk diplomatically & get my dream girl tel. #. Once again thanks for your concern.
hello! I really appreciate all the suggestions given above and thank u for that. I just met a hot girl in my uni, she seems cool at the beginning but now start behaving a bit strangely. i don’t thing i did something wrong. the problem is she is originally from iran altough born in europe and she’s always with those iranians friend who might not like to see her in company of a black man. I used ur suggestion but it didn’t work. she only promess to add me up on her facebook which she hasn’t done yet. what should i do to establish a strong connection and get her number?
hello! I really appreciate all the suggestions given above and thank u for that. I just met a hot girl, she seems cool at the beginning but now start behaving a bit strangely. i don’t thing i did something wrong. the problem is she is originally from iran altough born in europe and she’s always with those iranians friend who might not like to see her in company of a black man. I used ur suggestion but it didn’t work. she only promess to add me up on her facebook which she hasn’t done yet. what should i do to establish a strong connection and get her number?
Also should I always leave a voice-mail when the girl does not answer? What should I say in the voice-message? I don’t want to sound unconfident or desperate.
Hey man thanks for the great suggestion I actually tried a technique very similar to that and got a number from this hot girl. Everything is cool but now she’s acting kind of strange not answering her phone and doesn’t call back when I leave messages, so what would you suggest for this kind of behavior get back and let me know, thanks..
Great Article Richard A++++
Mr. Peter that Usual happen went report is missing in not connecting with someone. So at some level, showing that you’re like another person will allow the other person to feel safe and comfortable around you and so be happier to communicate and share ideas.
Tried this next time send text message creating High Value be funny show confer. Used Phrases like, “Wow you sure are a feisty on” call this # Eight one three-five two six-XXXX………ha-ha If she is not respond text again
Or Did we go to elementary school together? If she is not responding text again. Or REPLAY WITH: You don’t have to impress me. I already think you are cool just the way you are ….ha-ha
Or I think you know my friend? Wait for respond Send text REPLAY WITH: Tom…haha {name} seem kinda nerdy in fun way…ha-ha
If she is feisty in the text message REPLAY WITH: Calm down there cowgirl, I’m just having some fun…call this # :D Or You’re kinda cute when you’re all riled up ha-ha
Make it fun Tension + Cocky = Attraction……Cheers
very very very good!!!
Great article!!!
thanks gambler!!
I will put this in practice…
to be honest. all of gambler’s ‘ex-girlfriends’ are clearly just whores to be honest. any woman who would get with a guy that calls himself a ‘pua’ must be a slut.
1, why don’t you get a life and get off of your computer. You know whatever your views on Gambler or the PUA community, if you don’t have something constructive to say don’t say anything. What have you done lately to help someone better themselves in an area they have troubles in. Get a a girlfriend or boyfriend which ever you prefer and go do something constructive with your life.
This seems like pretty standard afc chat up to me. I don’t like the idea of asking her questions- it makes her feel like the prize rather than me. Yes its good to say ‘give me your number’ rather than ask for it, but the rest of the sample interaction has way too many questions. A better approach would be to get the same information using cold read statements, something I use regularly to great effect. Eg. ‘Now something tells me you’re the sort of girl who is into chick flick’s (teasing//neg). She will almost certainly get curious and ask why you say that, then that gives opportunity for more cold read. Another line I use after a very brief introduction in bars/cubs is (said with a smile- v important to smile) ‘you look a bit out of place in here’. Try it – its a killer line- she will climb the walls trying to find out why you said it:-)
This is really good advice. I actually have discovered this on my own by just talking with different girls. I actually did something very similar to the club X/Y one above, that went like this:
…talking to her about why she was in the cafeteria (she works for pepsico) etc.
me: Are you a party girl?
her: No, actually I’m not….no I’m just kidding I am.
me: Where do you like to go?
her: X. that’s why I moved out there. I like X and Y.
me: Oh yea? I’ve never been to Y.
her: You have to go there!
me: Oh yea we should definitely go *kino touch the shoulder*
her: Yea, sure.
me: Gimme your # so we can set it up.
her: *proceeds to give me her #*
Where as when I make small talk and then at the end ask for the #, regardless of whether I’m in the zone or RAFC, it doesn’t work nearly as well.
I will say that I was surprised at the all-purpose number close as you’re not asking for her number, and it doesn’t seem to live up to the Gambler eliteness I’ve come to know and love.
I like the putting your number into her phone bit because if a girl asks for my number I’m usually like “Well, here just give me yours, that will make it easier.” or something similar, but a lot of times if I call I have gotten voice mail and never an answer, like you said. I wonder, what’s a good way to do this without taking her phone? A way to get her to do it?
All in all this is a GREAT post. I also definitely recommend the $1 deal for the Approaching Confidence mp3 alone although the Stealth Attraction videos that come with it have definitely taken my post-comfort game to the next level.
I say post-comfort game because I notice when I generate attraction using those kino methods I find that while I gain attraction enough to have the girl giving her # on a silver platter, the attraction often dissipates when I’m not with her.