Evolution Of A PUA – Part 1 – The Ugly Shy Introvert
As you might know, I was not a natural with women. I wasn’t even a natural with friends. I had bad social skills, was generally shy and introverted, and basically avoided social situations like the plague.
Because i’ve gone from having nothing to being successful with women and good socially in a short space of time, I thought it might be valuable to document the steps I took and my influences along the way.
Back in 2003, I got out a notebook and wrote down my problems and what steps i’d take to address them. Back then, I hadn’t heard of game, so it was just focused on my perceived weaknesses: Here’s what it said:
Shit fashion
Shy.Bad social skills
Ugly
Not funny
Quite voice
Can’t hold eye contact
Bad body language
Can’t dance
Unconfident
Petrified of public speaking
Low Self-esteem
CV lacks qualifications
Live in a boring small city
Ouch. Okay, the good news is that they are all taken care of. So what did I do?
1. I signed up to a TEFL course in Seville so that i’d be in a foreign country and be forced to speak in front of a group of people (the students), interact with a bunch of strangers (the other trainees), and also get a useful qualification and get to visit a cool city.
I committed the money and time and it paid off. I was shaking and nervous in the first class. 6 hours of teaching time later and I was almost smooth!
2. I started slowly building a wardrobe of nice clothes and throwing out all the ill-fitting sporty rubbish that i’d worn for the past 5 years. I found the best brands for me, learnt about fit, materials, quality etc.
Over 2 years I filled my wardrobe with great clothes (mostly at discount prices) that i’d be able to wear for years. I avoided obvious labels like Burberry and got classic stuff like Zegna and Ralph Lauren Purple Label. I now have a wardrobe that will last me a long long time and rarely buy clothes.
Having done these two I already felt more confident. But there was still a lot to learn.
3. For my general self-esteem, happiness, and mental state, I read a lot of very useful books. I read everything out there on, by, or about Milton Erickson. I read all the old Bandler NLP books.
I read buddhist stuff. I read Robert Anton Wilson, Tony Robbins, and Alan Watts. I stopped watching TV so much, stopped reading and watching the news, and spoke less to negative people.
This made me happier through toning down my competitive side, reducing my need for material possesions, curing me of envy, and generally made me more content and happy. I came to understand that I was in control of my mood and happiness. Nowadays my mental state is solid and I am calm and not easy to effect emotionally.
Tune in for part two tomorrow!