I wanted to move to London for years. I was never happy living in Cambridge. Ithought it was too small, I thought the people were unfriendly and boring, and I didn’t have the kind of social life that I wanted.
Why did I wait so long? I found out the real answer, and thismight be the same thing that holds you back in many areas of your life, it was a HUGE realisation: I was afraid that if I moved to London and it was a failure, i’d be back in Cambridge AND I would no longer have thedream of something better to hold onto.
So at it’s core, it was fear of failure. Look at any bigsteps that you have avoided taking and maybe it is the same reason. But I finally did do it..
I basically didn’t know anyone when I moved down. My flatmates were cool, and we got on, but they had no social cirlce so I didn’t get to meet people that way. What happened was thatI found some London PUAs (from The London Seduction Society/LSS) and hooked up with them.
I went out on some group “sarges” and met them and gave them the kind of respect i’d give Mystery himself. We went to some bars, but I quickly foundout that most of these guys could talk a good talk, look alpha, have an alpha-handshake and a cool walk, but they didn’t seem to be able to open, hold, and close a set.
I hadto ratchet down my expectations a little bit.
Over the next few weeks, I met some more of theseguys. Most of them I didn’t really want to hang out with, but I did meet two – Eugene andConor, who were “cool guys” and I tried to go out with these guys to clubs as much as possible.
I was going out 4 nights a week. At this point, i’d been to a club less than 30 times, and was completely uncomfortable in the environment. So these nights would normally entail us opening 20 or so sets, not many would hold.
I was overcoming my AA, and a couple of times I did get into sets that hooked and was ableto have a nice conversation using my pre-existing skills in one-on-one conversations that comefrom having the introvert qualities of being a good listener and being empathetic.
I had a regular night out in Covent Garden with my wing Conor where I started to get some good results. We’d run some good wing game with each of us isolating a chick and i’d try to connect and get a number close.
When you are winging, it is pretty easy not to get blown out, because when those moments where the conversation dips happen, the girl looks at her friend, she is in set and happy so she re-engages. Holding on your own requires a lot more skill.
I was able to get a few number closes. They didn’t convert and I had no idea to kino-escalate to a k-close in the club.I have to say that by now I was pretty confident. The girls I was approaching were often hot and they did compliment me on my looks. It was new and it was good.
The next big realisation happened about 3 weeks into my London adventure. I was in a Sohu club with Conor and the person I took over my room from and Conor approached a Swedish 2-set.
I didn’t go and wing straight away because I was having a go at an Australian chick. It didn’t go too far, so I decided to go and wing him. It was an 18 year old Swedish chick. Pretty cute. I was there for AN HOUR talking to her, then I told her to move up and sat down next to her, carried on talking.
I was getting no touching from her, and didn’t know what the hell to do. My one night stand in Singapore only happened because she touched my leg first and I just matched her kino-escalation and then lead with the kiss.Anyhow, I said to myself “f%&k it” and put my arm around her and went for the kiss.
Lo-and-behold it worked, she was into it. Now I know I probably could have done it after 30 seconds, but the point was that it shifted something in my mind – you don’t need to ask if it is okay to kiss.
Conor left early because his chick didn’t pan out. When they left, looking back, it would have been an easy f-close with my girl (other one was happy to leave her in my care!) and even a pretty simple 3-some.
But I didn’t because I was probably buzzing from the k-close and didn’t imagine it was possible.I was now happy in London, I had friends and I felt like I was in control of things a little more. I had a lot of confidence and was on a high because I now was able to attract and seduce women.