A Spontaneous Funny Story that can be turned into a Routine, Gambler’s Leaf Routine

I was talking to a girl last night and it went a little like this. It is an example of taking a statement from her and making a point that goes along with it but is completely ridiculous but which she can’t really object to. I think it is also a funny little comedy routine!

Her: “Can I use your stuff in the bathroom?”
Me: “You can use my shampoo?but don’t use my shower gels (I have 10 little Molton Brown ones)?But if I find one that I don’t like I’ll give it to you!”
Her: “WHAT!?”
Me: “Well most people would just pretend and say “oooh I got you this gift aren’t I nice” but I’ll tell the truth and say that you can have the one I don’t like”.
Her: “Is that what you do for birthday presents, give something that you don’t want anymore?”
Me: “Well usually I don’t buy presents, I only buy presents for two people”
Her: “What your mum and Alex?”
Me: “Yep exactly”
Her: “Why don’t you buy presents”
Me: “I know too many people!”
Her: “What about girlfriends?”
Me: “Well I used to buy presents for them, up until about a year ago. If you see my ex-girlfriend from years ago, she is dripping in diamonds!”
Her: “Well it’s not about the money, it’s the thought that counts”
Me: “Ah okay cool, I’m glad you said that because what I usually do is make my girlfriends a special present. Like with my ex, I told her she was going to get the best present she ever got in her life, she told all her friends, and she was so excited. Secretly I worked on it one day. I got a leaf and twisted the stick bit into a beautiful shape and then stuck it to the body of the leaf and then I wrote her name on it. I knew it was something beautiful that would express my love for her. A few days before her birthday I wanted to throw her off the scent and make her think she was going to get a boring present, so when we walked past a jewellery shop I asked her if she liked some diamond earrings and she said yes and I made a knowing nod. Now that she was expecting something boring, everything was in place. On her birthday I gave her the leaf and she was so happy, she cried. She seemed like she was really crying, that was how happy she was. She told her friends I got her something else because she didn’t want them to be jealous. So, I could buy expensive gifts, but that experience really taught me something, and I’m glad you agree that it is the thought that counts!”
Her: “?”