My number 1 rule when it comes to dancing is “Dance to express, not to impress”.
On nights-out I’ve seen many dancers who are dancing for others and not themselves, I can pick these guys/girls out from a mile-off. They have this “look at me” kind of attitude and eventhough they may be dancing quite well, they tend to generally annoy others – I’m sure you’ve encountered these types before.
On the other hand you have the guy that’s just out to have a good time and is having great fun dancing and not caring about what others think. You’ll notice that he naturally attracts attention from fellow clubbers. This guy will often dance with more than one partner throughout the night and is extremely popular.
Always bear this rule in mind and it will take your dancefloor game up a notch, you’ll also have a lot more fun and meet a lot more people when you’re out clubbing…
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You’re right.
And beside that I’d add that you have to create your own space so that you can dance freely. Even on a dancefloor full of people.
The attractive nature of dancing is energy. People with a high energy during NPU are like lights for night-butterflies. People in clubs are like zombies looking for energy.
Cheers,
Tiamat
Dancefloor game is the only thing I’ve found myself to be naturally competent at, and its because music is such a big passion of mine that I don’t give a crap what anyone thinks of me when I’m enjoying it. Sure, as well as attracting lots of girls, I get a lot of weird looks when I’m dancing, but honestly who cares? The people making the weird looks are generally guys who are trying to make themselves look ‘above that kind of thing’ in front of girls. Who cares about them?
And any girls looking at you weirdly will generally be won over if you just show your having a great time… and if still they refuse to enjoy themselves, then they’re really not worth spending any time with.
On another note however, its escalating on the dancefloor that i have trouble with. If Im joined by a girl or a group of people I will extend my hand and spin people a couple of times, but thats the most i can do really.
The other night I was in a club, and my mates were being lazy so I just decided to go out onto the (heavily packed) dancefloor on my own and not give a crap. Pretty soon I catch eyes with a HB8 dancing pretty sexily up on a platform. Its too small to join her so I just keep dancing, breaking eye contact, but still keeping myself turned towards her. Eventually she comes down and starts dancing opposite me, and its pretty cool. I try my spinny move and she comes in, but I try to pull her afterwards but it ends in a mess as she thought she was spinning out, and the thing is pretty ungraceful. She disappears pretty quickly.
So does anyone have any suggestions to how to escalate on the dancefloor? How long should you wait/how should you judge etc? I thought this girl was giving me massive IOIs, but maybe I went too fast.
Gabriel
I totally agree with you about the guys who try to impress. Generally it just looks really sleazy.
I’m not that great of a dancer so I’m guess i’m lucky that I don’t generally try to impress haha. I just have a play around and anything that comes is just fun.
Whenever I have pulled on the dancefloor, and it might just be me, but it tends to be when I have either taken the girl to the dancefloor myself, or gone uber direct and for the kiss within seconds, or when I have seen the girl at the bar previously and re-opened on the dancefloor.
Gabriel, escalating on the dancefloor IMO is generally increasing kino, then dancing really close, then a makeout.
Spinning can be fun, but done a lot is repetitive and can be a bit lame. Try other fun stuff as well such as grabbing a girls beltloops, I swear I saw this on a PUATraining webclip somewhere….
Much love,
Ashley x
Great post Pure, surely this is a good way to be all the rest of the time too, right?
Any time you can be creative in your own way it seems to draw people in like magic- I guess many guys must have experienced this…
I might not be a mPUA, but even I know that this point is totally true. I’m not a good dancer, but I have been in situations where I’ve been out with my friends and our group has been like a magnet on the dance floor, with people almost fighting to get close. And it’s not even that we’re the most attractive, cool people in there, it’s just that we seem to have the most fun and we all know how people are drawn to fun ;)
I always figured that since I wasn’t a good dancer, and since talking on the dance floor is impossible, that I should just think about having fun on the dance floor instead of trying to think Game all the time.
Ironically, the only pull I’ve ever done was on the dance floor :P
Hey Guys Noel Here. I posted this in a previous blog entry on dance floor game, but as this is a new post, I still wanted to share my thoughts.
I noticed that this topic is sparking up a lot of chords in that some guys think its an asset to be a great dancer, and some think its just more important to let yourself go and have fun, some think use other PUA skills to seduce a woman etc etc
Well today in work I had a great day! I carried out an OBJECTIVE SURVEY!!HAHA.Lots of fun, and plenty of female opinions on the topic of
” If a guy is a good dancer, is he more attractive”
which turns out is a pretty good opener lol
And the answer of course was VARIED. The more I study PU the more I REALISE that there is more than one answer to a question, even though they might all be right)
The responses Varied, Lets take the obvious response
Bare in mind now these are responses I am putting here for your benefits, not to start a “blog war” lol
RESPONSE 1
“Yes it does make a guy more attractive if for example a girl goes out with the guy, he won’t embarass her by being a poor dancer. So this ties in with the male being accepted by the girls social group. Very important.”
RESPONSE 2
“Yes it does make a guy more attractive becuse he “stands out” from other guys in a club. If he has coordination and balance, he is fit, therefore good in bed. This kind of fits in the evolutionary phase, that more “fit” males are selected
Other responses I got were
No it doesn’t make him more attractive, if anything makes him look gay or a bit poserish. The girl should always be a better dancer than the guy.
Another response
It would make him more attractive learning how to dance, however, if he showed off his skills too much, I wouldnt like that!
Now the respones I got today were varied, mostly stating that it would make him more attractive in some sort of way.
Whats the take home message from my days research….
Learning how to dance is of benefit to you, mostly. For every girl that thinks your a poser, you will probably find that 6 or 7 will like it. However don’t flaunt your a great dancer as you will come across as “try hard” as the good man Pure has said.
I thought it would ne nice to include some female opinions on our blog for once lol
Hope this Helps
Cheers, Noel
In Gambler’s book he mentions that he took 2 or 3 salsa lessons and that was all he felt he needed to feel somewhat comfortable on the dancefloor. I don’t think we need to spend too much time dedicated to learning the art of how to dance (unless it’s something you’re interested in of course).
My personal thoughts on dance game is that the way we dance isn’t neccesarily focused on our timing, flexability or ablility etc.
Instead I think the aspects of dance that girls find attractive is the confidence we potrude, the obvious comfort that we have with our body, the fact that we don’t mind being noticed. I think those are the things that girl’s sub-conciously notice and that is what makes them attracted to us. Well, thats my thoughts on the subject- I’m interested in what you guys all think about dance game.
man, what a undiscussed BUT NEEDED TO BE discussed topic. I like the ring of “not to impress, but to express” and im in agreement with the idea, but i think its more then just expressing. maybe its expressing and connecting. I say that because no matter what, even if you’re out there channeling freddie mercury on the dance floor, if you’re not connecting with anyone, your not attracting and its going to look vain. and i dont think that rules out going on to the floor by yourself, it just means, as always, knowing where you’re going with it.
kudos to noel on the in office survey and i always love a new opener. heads up though, surveys, while a great conversation starter, arent always the path to truth. we all know that (especially w the opposite sex) what people say and what people do or are attracted to can be completely unconnected.
love the post.
Dancing is a nice way to pick up girls. Before I used any pick up material it was the best way for me to pick up girls. Two times I kiss closed a girl without even saying a word just by dancing and I’m not a great dancer.
I’m glad to read that dancing is seen as a way of pick up.
You know, i was just like Erik here said, i used to dance all night long to try to pick up girls, and it worked… sometimes, and other times id doesn´t, but i think i wasn´t bad at all, i dont really know cause i did dance for myself, but because of this i never really got interested in dance lessons or anything just wanna have fun, but i think i shouldnt had been that bad since they hired me in a club for a dancing animation team (don´t ask i was doing there) they put us some simple choreographies and we did em so the public could imitate, anyway, that was a way to pick up girs before, then i started with the game, and i stopped dancing, however sometimes i think it could be a useful skill since some girls really love to dance, so i think im gonna try to improve into this, well, see ya later, take care!
POKER
The beauty of going on the Bootcamp is that you learn approaching on the dancefloor is all about frame. If you’re in state you can simply appraoch a girl on the dancefloor while being so completely powerful and confident in yourself that without saying a word you can be all over each other and making out in seconds.. .without knowing each other’s names… lol… the first time I did that myself my reality exploded. I just didn’t think such a thing was possible. Crazy stuff!
I know what you are saying man, is really amazing the feeling of doing something in the Field for real, for the first time, i remember the first video that i saw in field of a Pua, now i look at it and i say, men, that is nothing he is not even taking their numbers, but the first time i was really amazed about the ease that he talked with the girls, it was a video of Mystery in a white party or something like that, really impressive for me at the time, then i got my first set opened, then closed, then, kiss close, then f, and everything just felt amazing, the first time on everything was great!
POKER
6 months ago i’d got no experience at dancing and was out with RichardM. He instructed me to walk straight into a
group of 3 girls who were having loads of fun and just copy their moves. When I did this, they respected my confidence and it was obvious I was out to have a good time, the rewards were instant. One of the girls put her
firemans hat on me and started grinding me. If I’d gone in trying to grind her I’d have got blown out, but because
I was so playful, seconds later she grinded me. It really hit home just how important it is to have fun, and not be
conscious of your appearance.
You know, im not really a dancer or anything, however i was this time on a disco to celebrate a friend of mine birthday, and in his table, guess what, around 7 to 10 gorgeus dancer babes, and i was like “men, this would be hard, they are all into dancing and i don´t dance even a little bit” i actually was hired for a couple of seasons by a disco to animate the place along with another bunch of guys just doing some dance moves, but they were really simple, i was a little stiff that night, but in some point i started to talk about with one of this girls, she was really cool and receptive, so i started to letting myself go a little more, ande then i started to showing her my moves, really simple, but i was having fun… suddenly I had the whole set, the whole 10 girls doing what i was doing, dancing like i did even when they were profesional dancers, and they were actually having fun, later i was chating with them normaly just like any other set but i already had this great hvd and social proof, that was gread dude, every guy around was so amazed and looking like if i was this Casanova or something, i ended up with like 5 numbers that night and i took one of those girls to my house that same night, so yeah, is all about your vibe!
POKER
I fully agree. I dance to express myself and not to impress. The funny thing though is that I end up getting so much more attention this way.
I have a friend who actually has better and more dance moves than me but he rarely seems to enjoy himself. The moves without the fun has little value. It’s better to have no real moves and have fun.
I noticed the following with dance game and that’s what I tell my friends. The more fun you have, the more the girls are attracted. I personally dance very fast and it’s kind of jerky but it gets tons of attention (I do it to express and not impress though). Raising your hand up in the air means you’re having fun. If a girl looks at you and she’s facing you, IMITATE her! They love that.
When a girl is attracted to you, her or her group will tend to move closer to you & even follow you around sometimes. I always say that if you had an eye on a girl and she happens to move closer, it is NO ACCIDENT. She’s trying to facilitate your approach.
Well, ‘practice makes a man perfect’. I am sure consistent practice and match experience would solve this problem for you.