So my last post tried to get you guys to stop focusing so much on the opener, this post is going to build on that and help you practising transitioning so if you missed the first part, go and check it out now.
The confidence to transition easily is what we’re looking to build up now – and for the vast majority of you, it will only be confidence is missing. Very few people have problems skipping from subject to subject with their friends and family. So let’s look at what’s going on here – with your friends and family, you have the confidence that they will accept any of your topic changes – maybe they’re things that you’ve talked about before but even if they’re not, you have a history of not running out of things to say.
I’m going to show you an exercise called the Alphabet Game that I developed to show students how conversational topics don’t need to seamlessly link into one another. The funny thing is that loads of guys have said that it’s stopped them running out of things to say.
The Alphabet Game
This is how it works: – You’ll want to chose your own topics but I’ve put some of mine as illustrations
A is for Ask – this is an opinion opener, chose your own
B is for Bungee Jumping – I went bungee jumping in Brazil recently and it was amazing – have you done it?
C is for Cooking - I’ve got a vegetarian friend – what should I cook them?
D is for Dancing – I can tell you’re a crazy dancer
E is for Elephant – I’ve always liked the idea of doing a job where I could ride an elephant to work
F is for Femidoms – what happened to those, did anyone actually use them?
G is for…. etc
So – basically, you think of a topic for the first few letters of the alphabet at first, and you’ll have a ready made list of things to talk about. There are two ways of playing, the first is that you must link each topic seamlessly to the next.
The second way (and by far my favourite) is just to skip from one to another.
You can use each of the below ONCE
“Oh, that reminds me…”
“I saw/heard the maddest thing recently…”
“Did you know…”
What most people find is that having a list of topics in their head that they can talk about combined with realising that girls are fine with conversations that skip from topic to topic, indeed it makes them al lot less predictable, gets them feeling much more confident in set.
More soon
Gulliver
It’s been a long time since I last read something new, easy and efficient. I’ll create my own alphabet tonight after work :)
I really like this entry! I have actually never thought of just thinking of the alphabet and coming up with things to talk about that way! So far it is working great for me and I sincerely appreciate the ideas and help from you guys.
wow, this is amazing! I never thought about doing it this way.
Tell you the truth, transitioning i my biggest problem! I can open with any opener you send my way.. but I can;t keep a convo going for shit. This tends to kill my confidence and my momentum, especially when it happens with every set.
So i just lose focus.. and get approach anxiety.. not fearing the opener, but the fucking transition :(
This seems like it might work.. Stat with 4 or 5 letters for every set.. As you get better, add more letters until you can do all of them without having to think about it anymore.
Great easy game :D Why didn’t I come up with that? I’ll definitely try that tomorrow.. Great post
Totally great post, good tip, i never really had the problem of running out of conversation, i´ve actually always been the kind of guy that talks from one topic to another with family and friends as you sayed so, however i used to thought that would be weird for girls if i start talking about “how to tame a lion” and then suddenly change to “id love to do a trip to australia to learn surfing” then i realized what you said, i already did that with my friends, so i thought, well, girls shouldn´t be that different, so, even when i have that problem already solved, im gonna make my alphatet cause, sometimes im talking about lots of stuff but dont find in my head something that really clicks with the target, with a list of the whole alphabet of topics in my head for sure that won´t happen again, LOL!
see ya!
POKER
Wow thats is a long list a 7 alphabet and alot more. But I dont use this routine but i use
(The Anti Afc Conversation)It goes like this
You are not boring but everytime i meet new people they always ask me uninteresting questions. And now that we got the chance to ask each other crazy question since we are strangers. You can ask me any question you like and I answer ohnestly on them.
The girl would say something like. “Oh seriously?”
Yeah seriously ask me any interesting question you want and then i ask you questions.
Hehe, well ok (Then comes the questions from her)
This is not a bulletproof method. Its just a backup if you runs out of things to say.
The problem i find with your method Tung is that quite often, by putting too much pressure on the girl, you get either a really boring, uninteresting question from her, or she’ll just throw her hands up in nervous laughter and say “Oh, I don’t know, I can’t think of anything.”
Your right, its okay as a last resort, but I find that if I’m resorting to things like that somewhere along the lines I didn’t something wrong. A better strategy for conversation I feel is for yourself to guide it (because it demonstrates alpha-nature) while not constantly talking yourself. Allow her participation (and I don’t mean just ask her one or two questions on what she does, where’s she from, and then go straight back to talking about yourself). Guide the conversation, make sure you set the topics, but let them express themselves on it (this not only makes them feel more comfortable, but also means they’re slightly qualifying themselves to you).
Of course, when I’m in a conversation with a set, I’m not actually thinking along these lines, I’m just trying to get myself in a “don’t give a shit” attitude, and spout what comes naturally out of my mouth. i’ve noticed that if the conversation is somewhat along the lines of what I’ve written above, it seems to be going well.
As for the alphabet game, it seems an interesting, and probably helpful idea, but I’m always a bit worried when it comes to stock topics, questions and stories that someone, possibly from a previous set I’d opened, will notice I keep saying the same things, and think to themselves “Well if he’s talking about the same things to THOSE girls as well he obviously doesn’t have much to say for himself.” Consequently I just try to improvise my conversation on the spot, even if it does leave me to some awkward moments.
It’s probably a ridiculous fear of mine, something not worth keeping, and I know that the alphabet idea is not meant to be a permanent part of your game, but more like training wheels until your comfortable. I’ll probably write out a list and give it a go tonight…
thanks for the advice
gabriel
I like the alphabet method, in fact I used it the other night. Everything was going swimmingly until I got to ‘X’! But on a serious note: this is a really great method to use and it really does work. Let me give you a little break down of how I used this to great effect:
1. Hi, what do you think of the boat? — (It was a wedding party on a boat) — I can’t decide if this is a great place for a wedding or not!
2. So you like Boats? I went on a great Cruise to the Med last year; have you ever been on a Cruise?
3. Yeah, it has always been my Dream to travel around the world. Do you have any Dreams?
4. I would go to France first and try and climb up the Eifel tower! No seriously, I would climb it. Why use the lift you have legs don’t you?
5. Or are they those Fake silicone kind! Talking of Fake is that your real nose?
This was a real conversation and it went on for a while! I think I got up to S. Lol, before you comment I know it wasn’t the best conversation in the world; however, it made her smile. I just wanted to test if it works and it does! It’s easy to link things quickly in an artificial environment, there is know way she is going to pull you on it. Just remember to keep the other aspects of your game going, e.g. negs. I know that the nose neg wasn’t the best, but she did giggle and push me allowing me to start to Kino a little more.
The night ended with a number close.
Thank for the post Gulliver.
The alphabet method works, try it for yourself!
Have Fun Guys.
This sounds like a great method, I’m going to give it a go.
The overall idea of skipping topics is a good one, by the way (so long as you don’t do it so much you come across as really ditsy.) Not only is it not so unacceptable as most people think, but it shows that you’re willing to take the lead in the conversation, and that you’re in control. Your subcommunication is “I want to talk about this now, so I’m going to”. Compare this to painful transitions, where you’re essentially thinking “I want to make this smooth so she doesn’t mind me changing topic.”
Great post man.
DiCarlo (I think..) says to think of a commedian- comedians skip from topic to topic and no one gives a shit, as long as their entertained.
Plus it adds fun, and if its not fun, you’re not playing..
Yup, comedians do skip from topic to topic.. It’s because they have lots of funny things to say.
If your an interesting or funny individual it doesn’t matter, plus it keeps people at suspense.. Multiplethreading…
HAHA Really digging this post man. Something I am going to apply this to my game. Just a quick point is that when you doing this alphabet game, dont ask to many questions. Remembering that we don’t want the first meeting to be like an interview and ask questions about every topic you have came up with in the alphabet!!
Thanks so much man, great, simple peice of advice to enhance your game!
Cheers, Noel
This is good stuff. The alphabet game makes it easier to remember DHV stories and gives the person a chance to generate stories that are more natural, real and congruent.
But like others have said, it’s better to make statements and have her follow up with questions and other statements than just you asking questions.
If you are listening, you will hear the answer to any question you may want to ask her.
Women who are interested will make sure that you know those things without having to ask.
Women who are serious will ask all the questions (that could be good or bad depending on what you are looking for – and you could turn it around and accuse her of “interviewing” you).
So this should prevent you from not having anything to say.
Just a comment here, this is a great idea to remember what to say in the transition and all, buuuut! i got this idea about using it for comfort and Rapport, so i tried it with one of my targets, worked like a charm, i told her, ok, let´s play a game ( oh by the way, i used this, cause indeed, the conversation ran off, but after this we couldn´t stop chatting)
HB; what game=? what is it about?
Poker: is just saying the alphabet, you know the alphabet right?
HB; Yeah, A,B,C,D,E… etc…
Poker: good, but no, you gotta say it but like this, A: for an airplane cause id like to fly and travel a lot
B:For boring, cause i get so bored on history class.
C; for cangaroo cause is my favorite animal…
And stuff like that, so i get to know you better…
And she started;
A.. cause bla bla bla
B.. cause bla bla bla
C… cause bla bla…
all the way to the Z
then it was my turn and i apply it like puting some stuff that i thought she would feel connected, for example, if she said in some point W: cause ive always wanted to have wings to fly.
I said something like: B; for bird, cause i love how they fly, id like to fly like them, so she jumped “me too, me too!”
well… you get the idea, the thing is this worked like a charm, she actually eded up telling me “wow, i really think i know you better, and i didn´t realize we had so much in common, i didn´t know you were so attached to your family…
bla bla bla
and we keep talking, she was really hooked, so… this game can go a long way in this other way too…
Take Care…
POKER
I think the beauty of the alphabet game, is that it gives you the chance to talk about a wide range of topics in a short space of time. You’ll feel as though you’ve known each other for longer and there’ll be a much deeper sense of rapport.
Dude, that is one of the best ideas I’ve heard all week, my mid game is what needs work at the min, this could be a massive help!
Yeah, is a great game, and is really amazing hos simple it is and how many of us haven´t think about it, that makes me think about how lazy we often become in this community LOL, i know, we study a lot of stuff, develop our habilities, but most are just waiting that someone else do the job, instead of doing some research, creating stuff, i think that would do a lot for the comunity, of course, test them in the field, and then well, share it, but mostly to stay with you own material, that would do a much richer, and creative comunity, and also that would make less risky to come over an Hb that already heared your opener, LOL.
POKER