Amusement
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Now let us imagine that pick up was a medieval court.
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Often what I find funny and what other people find funny are two different things. When I do make people laugh it’s either because they ‘get it’ or because they find it funny that I find it funny. Technically in comedy you aren’t supposed to laugh at your own jokes. I laugh at my own jokes because they are actually intended for me.
I’m just sitting here now imagining a comedian on stage that truly finds his material hilarious and is bursting out laughing, you know, the kind of laughter where your stomache hurts and your eyes begin to water. The kind of laughter that makes other people laugh because it itself is so funny. If there were a comedian like that, I’m sure he would be funny lol
A
Actually, Shakespeare’s clowns and jesters were usually the enlightened fools who made fun of the foolish enlightenment of the kings, princes and alphas. Roman emperors used to employ jesters to accompany them on their triumph processions and whisper in their ear that all glory is transient and in vain. There’s an interesting symbiosis between the alpha and the fool and it’s not clear who’s who.
One of my favourite things is the art of ‘playing the fool’. I love seeing how people behave when under a certain impression of me. The more intelligent they think they are the more entertaining it is. I love pulling the wool over arrogant eyes.
I think you are right, but for a lot of people, it is a hard habit to break.
I was a stand up comic for a couple years and there was no needier group of people than a bunch of entertainers. Most people in show business have this pathological need for attention.
I quit the business when I realized that I just didn’t have the intense need for approval or attention that most people, and all entertainers seem to have.
That’s why it is a hard habit to break. It is ingrained in us to seek approval, and get attention. People always want to be the one everyone notices. You hardly ever hear someone say their social goal is to be a good listener.
You might have also mentioned in this entry that women can often be attracted to men they are irritated with, and don’t approve of. If you had included this sort of observation, it could motivate people to take the risk of being themselves and not worrying about the response.
You also might have mentioned that women actually enjoy being made fun of, at least women with high self esteem do, as long as it isn’t mean and is actually funny. Women know that the do a lot of ridiculous stuff, and if a guy jokes about it, it shows that he is perceptive and also that he doesn’t take it too seriously, so she can be comfortable with him.
Other than that, a good entry on an important topic. Despite the fact that many women mention being attracted to “men who can make me laugh.” it isn’t enough just to be funny to get the girl.
In fact, I remember an interview with an American comedian who was asked, now that, in addition to being funny, he was famous, if women were throwing themselves at him.
“No, he said, “women don’t like guys who are funny, they just think everything a guy they like says is funny.”
Hey this is completely AFC but Kezia, you look hot in your pic.
The funny thing is because this site is all full of pua’s I recon not many others have posted that.
hows about that for different from the rest x
I agree with a lot that you posted, im not agaist entretain my sets, not at all, but you gotta calibrate it, to be like AnthonyP said the “enlighted” guy that is dominant when doing for example magic, “take this, do that, remember this and that” and you start “training” your set and setting the mood that you are the one that gives the orders, you can read their palm, but not because you wanna entretain them, but because you “want to know them better and palm reading is a great way to do it”, in fact if you are gonna tell a story or a joke is because you are gonna enjoy it yourself, i often go to parties and say some jokes, if im in the mood, but there are some others where somebody says “tell us a joke dude”, and i just say “im not a clown and im just not in the mood dude, enjoy the party” or something like that, you dont need to entretain to please, but to entretain YOURSELF to make your sets a lot more enjoyable.
However your post make me remember a tale, im not really sure if is “The Cask of Amontillado” or “Hop frog” maybe not even those titles but i relate them i dont know why, is the tale of a Jester that is in love with the princess, and he thinks she loves him back because she always laughs with him and pays him attention in his routines, but he had never seen himself in a mirror, then later in the story he does and he discover the princess was laughing at him but not with him, i think that´s what happens with lot of guys, your post is good, invites to reflection and maybe an eye opener to a lot of guys.
Greetings Kezia
POKER
While I was reading the post a strange thing came to mind. When you are on an airplane they tell you that if the oxygen levels flow, you should put on your mask first and then put on the mask to children or to people who depend on you. When I first learnt about this I thought it was strange. But then I got it. How can you take care of others if you can’t take care of yourself?
How does this relate to this post? It’s what Kezia says. The guys who are funny but also get the girl are the ones who are not being funny to entertain the girl. They make a joke because they want to laugh and they are funny. If noone laughs who cares? If other people find it funny too then ”welcome to my world”. Trying to entertain people is needy. Everyone’s studying these techniques and want to find out how not to appear needy through their body language, what they say, what to do in specific scenarios etc. However, if you are needy, this is going to come across no matter how hard you’re trying to hide it. So if you think you’re gonna come across as confident if you lean back, you won’t be considered as confident when you’re leaning back and you are outcome dependant expecting the others to react to what you’re saying and accept you. We need to work on our insides first and then focus on the details. There’s a difference between two guys who are both leaning back for example. The first one doesn’t want/need/expect anything from the others, lives in his own reality and nothing can affect him and as a result he’s leaning back. The second one is leaning back because he wants to be PERCEIVED by others as the first guy. That in itself is needy.
So don’t make jokes because you want the attention and the positive reaction of others, but instead do that when you want. Because YOU find it funny. If noone laughs you will be entertained, if everyone laughs welcome them to your world. And to quote one of the best PUA’s out there.. when asked if funny guys got laid he said: ”Don’t try to be funny. Funny is haha. PLAYFUL gets you laid..”
I’ve got nothing to add, but this was a fantastic post and really resonated with me. Thanks for writing it.
being funny is a very powerful trait, something that i developed after going through the “jester” phase and a bit of an arrogant phase. i discovered that you can use comedy to even depict the inner strength trait…this is done by; using comedic negs like “is she house trained” or a spike like “look our first fight, we need to get married before the love dies” the inner strength trait, i agree is a powerful tool, but so is also the material at your disposal, after all in the street some guy doing a cartwheel is just needy
When you break this story down into a core principle. It basically goes back to the idea of being ‘happy with yourself’ first. ‘Cos lets face it. If you aren’t happy with yourself, usually the following tends to happen; you start to seek it out externally through things and other people.
One of those things is through approval seeking, putting yourself forward ahead of other people and not having standards.
When you’re happy with yourself at the core. An interesting realisation occurs whereby you actually don’t need things like cars, money, houses or even friends to be happy, because you’re aware that when you strip everything down, all you will ever have is you.
I remember being told once by a really wise friend of mine that nothing we have is actually ours. We may have friends, be wearing nice clothes, driving a nice car and living in a nice house. But does it come with us the day we die? No it doesn’t, it all gets left behind. Not even the very body we live in is ours!
Once you realise that and understand that you don’t need anyone or anything to be happy. Then that is when you’ve cracked it! People should love you for who you are, not because of what you wear, what you look like or what you could offer them. None of that is important… What’s important is loving yourself and maintaining your integrity.
A saying that I picked up somewhere, it may have even been in the comunity, is “never expect a reaction”.
If a comedian tells a joke and pauses on purpose to allow his audience to applaud then it’s usually a very awkward applause, if a magician does a card trick and holds out his arms in anticipation of gasps of astonishment then it ruins the moment.
Just act as if you’re not expecting any sort of reaction from your jokes and it will make you much more attractive and humble.
I think the key to being funny in a way that amuses yourself too is to be spontaneous. For example, telling a memorised joke is probably quite low value since you’ve heard it before and cannot possibly be as amused by it as your audience (if its any good). Where as if you say the first thing that comes in to mind, you take yourself by surprise and are inevitably entertained. The main reason why we laugh is out of surprise.
I find the analogy of the jester a very useful image to carry around in my head to remind me how not to act. One of my problems is that i take life, myself, and everything way too seriously. After studying NLP i discovered that this was really just a pattern that i ran in my head and could be changed. So now i’m practicing being more humorous by interupting my pattern whenever things get too boring by asking myself ‘where is the humour in this situation?’. Often something funny will then immediately spring to mind which i will then say and hey presto – a lighter, more humourous side of me emerges. The important thing here is that i don’t force it – if i don’t find any humour anywhere i just carry on with the conversation on other lines. So i’m not ‘trying’ to be funny, just letting my sense of humour emerge and of course anything that i come up with this way is firstly funny to me ie personal amusement.
Hey this post is pretty deep…maybe i’m taking it all too seriously…lol.
this is an incredibly ingenius idea. How the hell did you come up with this one!!!