Understand Her Linguistic Mind
To reach a woman, to make her feel safe, you must first understand her. Many times when the spirit of seduction breaks through austere, it’s because the guy understands her mind. The more she feels understood, the more she values herself as a woman. Like an actress beginning to have true emotions when she is inspired, her body will begin to echo her experience…
It is observation and reflection that make understanding this inner world of hers possible. Possibility is limited only by our imagination, her thoughts are limited only by linguistic pathways through her mind. What you want is flow and association so you don’t run out of things to say… like word associations, free associations, intuitive responses, and the power of a child’s creativity. Notice certain facial expressions… voice tonality… and a subtle look in her eyes…
I noticed an HB Latina’s face flush slightly when she told me things like: “Sometimes I wish I could just look at the world without anybody seeing me.”
Females have a far richer perceptual language than males. When girls are learning to read, their brain multi-tracks the different meanings differently from boys. Back in the wild, If a mother hears a sound, she needs to interpret all the possible meanings to protect her young.
When a female believes that she is deciding to do something, her brain has already made that decision some time before. She then justifies everything she does now, and how it all relates to her life.
Alex: do those tattoos mean inner strength or a rebellious nature? HB: I’m the black sheep of my family.
Some cultures also have a rich perceptual language. Like the Inuit people of Canada have one word for “I like you but I would not go seal hunting with you.” A female can do this with just one look. So the world is usually reflecting what she wants.
If you want to play on her level, notice how she uses language, notice how she multi-tracks, and condition yourself to do the same.
Alex Street Kid
Really insightful post here Alex, I really enjoyed reading it. Are there any reading materials you could recommend here?…not neccessarily PUA related at all, just something related to evolution and how the female and male brains are differently tuned? I know a lot of guys use cold-reading to pretend they understand the female they interact with, but to have some real knowledge would be awesome (and just very interesting to read)!
A book relating to evolution in male- female differences is ‘Why Men Don’t Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes’ by the Peases. I think ‘The Art of Speed Reading People’ by Tieger & Tieger is good for cold-reading. There are also some academic books, such as ‘Games People Play’ by Eric Berne MD, which is good for an understanding of basic human psychology.
Good post, and i get your point, most of all i think you mean we must calibrate our girls about their body language and use of their words, this would make us play or interact with them in a better way, since they´ll got the feeling that we understand them right? however i think that, when you are playing multiple targets, that could be a little difficult, so instead you could go for another way, like developing a game where SHE got to understand you, you give yourself a highter value and now she is the one that should try to get into your world, you give her permission to do it and by this means you start to compenetrate inside her world too, but now you are not trying too hard with multiple targets, like i said, i like your post and i got you, but as far as i understood, that may not work for me, unless we are talking about an LTR or something like that, great post anyway!!!
POKER
This post really shows how a good grasp of language can make all the difference when talking to a woman. I find — as Alex pointed out — that women are drawn to very image based language. It’s great to weave lots of little stories (metaphors are a great way to accomplish this) into what you are saying. However, remember there is a lot more to communication that just our words.
When we talk of communication we often think that the women is only noticing what we are saying, however, this is not the case. She is noticing everything: your body language; your reactions; your knowledge and your general self. Women pick up on this more than men. Stand with your shoulders hunched and a women will notice. Scratch your nose to often and a women will notice. Fumble over your words and a woman will notice.
When we tie all these forms of sub-communication together it can seem like a hell of allot to remember; however, after a little while it becomes natural. You will find that you can converse with women more successfully and that you get labelled as having great ’charisma’. This is all about the way you communicate. No one likes to talk to a person who can’t talk and act fluidly.
Have fun guys,
Jonathan.
Any competent book on NLP really will teach you about this subject, though I’m not sure how many focus on the difference between female and male patterns of thinking. I’m sure there are some however worth buying.
I’ve had “NLP For Dummies” on my shelf for years now… my dad got it for me a while back, but I’ve never really been able to get far into it. It’s only now I realise how much it can help in a PUA context.
We often think that communication is only an expression of our thoughts, but I think a far more accurate statement would be to say that it molds our thoughts. Propaganda experts have held onto this fact for centuries. Just the essence the essence of a piece of art is change based on what medium its in, say the difference between water-colours and spray paint, so the essence of thoughts can be changed about how the language they are contained in is expressed. People who are acutely aware of how language appeals to people and molds their thoughts would find themselves in a very powerful position…
Gabriel
Alex man, your two posts are awesome, I’m reading the games people play right now..
So can you help me out with something? I’m really feeling what your talking about, and I’ve been aligning myself like this for a while, because it feels so natural, but often it means I’m not opening girls, which I know is a mistake, its like I’m using the ‘free-flowing natural rhythm’ thing kind of as an excuse.
I’m still doing very well with girls, especially compared to the past (numbers, dates etc.), but do you have any tips for getting over this sticking point? i.e. I want everything to be natural, flowing and harmonius, so I only open girls when it feels just right… I see this as a sticking point, like an excuse I’m making, but its also in line with how I’m feeling right now; whats the solution dude?
Big thanks man, look forward to future posts.
Alex
Hey Love plus, it sounds to me like you are waiting for conditions to be perfect based on your environment (this is what women do), but remember you can draw your state from within and feel good right now, this will make your inner conditions natural and you can find perfection in the moment.
Wow, thanks man, that makes a huge amount of sense- So each moment is the perfect moment…
You say ‘the more she feels understood, the more she values herself as a woman.’ So if we can help her understand herself in a very positive light, we’ll give her the beatiful feeling of incredibly high value as a woman, and she’ll inevitably reward us for this. So when we’re in an interaction with a girl we feel something for, our aim should not be to make her love us, but to make her love herself.