A lesson in KEEPING attraction

“I met this really cool girl last night. I kissed her and got her phone number. What do I do now?”

It’s this “next step” where I keep seeing a LOT of problems. I get asked some form of this question from friends of mine ALL THE TIME. I had this epiphany early on in my career when I was being recognised for my approach abilities. I had no problem getting initial attraction and getting to the kiss, but when it came to arranging the meet the next day, I found myself weak. From my experience now as a trainer, I can see this is a serious weak point for most guys, even those who have had all the training and are well-schooled in the theory side of pick-up. It’s like as soon as they’re not in the field anymore; as soon as they’re not approaching and in “pick-up” mode, they turn back into their old needy selves.

They kiss a girl on a night out and think “I’ve done it now, I’ve won her. It’s all smooth sailing now she’s attracted to me”. They instantly forget everything they’ve learnt, stop acting like the high value guy the girl was initially so attracted to, only to spend hours wondering where it all went wrong when the girl flakes on them when it’s time to arrange a meet.

So here’s some tips on what I call “The next-day and beyond”:
1.      PUT VALUE on your time! – This is a huge life-changer when you get this. When it comes time to text the girl for a meet, stop bending over backwards for her schedule. When you’re busy, you’re busy! I don’t care if you kissed Jessica Alba the night before, if you’ve got a day full of work and errands, and she texts you asking to meet for lunch, sorry, but you can’t. Show yourself respect. Always keep yourself grounded with this question: If this were just a regular guy friend, would I go out of my way to have lunch with him today? Is the answer no? Then don’t treat her any differently. Guys often jump like dogs at the opportunity to meet up with a woman. They cancel plans to do it. They do this out of fear, the fear being that she might get bored and move on if you don’t close the deal immediately. Trust me on this, you’ll win infinitely more respect and attraction with these simple powerful words “I’ve have work to do all day today, we’ll catch up tomorrow”.

2.      Arranging the meet – There’s no need to turn this into a big over-pressurized Hollywood-movie style date. The less pressure you put on the event, the better. Try to fit her in around what you’re already doing and make the meeting casual.  E.g. “I’m meeting some friends here later for some drinks, you should come along”. This is all about bringing her into your world and shows extreme confidence. One I’ve used is “I’m writing all day today, you come over for a while when I’m finished”.

3.      Note the power of statements, particularly in texting for a meet.
i.e. “We should get together at”…”Come to the bar at 6pm”…. “Let’s go for lunch tomorrow”. Don’t feel the need to frame everything as a question for her to respond yes or no.
Hope this is as much help for you as it has been for me.

Speak soon guys!

Matthew H – Master Trainer  Email: matt@puatraining.com