Confronting her with my feelings? PART 2

Hi Guys

Thanks for your comments and messages regarding last week’s post. Now I had a MASSIVE response, scores of e-mails mainly regarding how to get out of the friends zone. I am sorry I have no time to respond to each one yet, I am half way through and will try to get round to the rest but I appreciate the time you have taken to share thoughts with me and details regarding sensitive areas of your lives.

There are two things that really came to my attention I that I think are worth addressing

· First being the idea of how to control and suppress feeling and emotions….? A lot of e-mailing have been asking about this topic. Now I really want to clarify I was NOT in anyway suggesting that a man should never share feelings, emotions and desires with a women he cares about. If we did not do that what would be the point of a relationship or having someone we love in our life! (I HATE IT WHEN GUYS WHO ARE ALWAYS GAMING! It is unhealthy and a person becomes a social robot I can’t connect with on any level. This is one of the reasons I don’t post anywhere except here and keep a low profile, avoiding going to ‘community events’ unless I really have to! For my own sanity. Self improvement is about going out there and having fun not sitting around a table talking about game and being a keyboard jockey.) Anyway rant over……… Back to topic. Being in love makes people vulnerable and those vulnerabilities can be attractive to your partner. In a nut shell I was just saying these feelings should be contained, controlled and should not be shared until you have created enough attraction or have already escalated and developed a bond and the relationship away from just a friendship! There is nothing wrong with needing her (although it is better to want her I’d say) just make sure she needs you a little more than you need her. It is just about making sure you have control…….not over her but over yourself! Then she will follow your lead.

· Secondly – I have received lots of e-mails regarding how to get out of the friend zone. However a lot of the situations mentioned were complex and not the situation I was addressing in my post. A lot of the guys mentioned they had kissed, slept with even had a short relationship with the girl, some even finished themselves it but now regret it. Some were being too needy in places and not taking the lead but on the whole the situations were complex. Now my previous post was aimed at people where no escalation had occurred, people who were just friends with the girl. Some of what I mentioned may well apply to these complicated circumstances but we are not social robots and where the situation is complicated maybe the opposite is the best option, each case is on its own merit and there are no set rules. Sometimes vulnerability, kindness, love and compassion can be very powerful and endearing……but only in certain cases where it has not been applied already so don’t go too soft on me guys………yet ;-)

The best piece of general advice is I can give is this: Make the situation SIMPLE! A lot of e-mails I have received have been describing complicated set of events and partly the man has to take responsibility for the situation getting so complex! It is simple: You are a MAN she is a WOMEN, you are attracted to her (she should feel something along those lines for you) so have fun together, no games, no bullshit, no problem! Sounds easy……..well it can be. I was chatting to Beckster about it last night he always talks about ‘living in your own reality’ then she will become part of it not yoru becoming part of hers. We let things get all complicated in our head and then ‘We lose the name of action’ those familiar with Shakespeare will know where that line comes from…….?

Hamlet!

He is a classic for thinking about things too much and never acting and when he finally does his actions are rash and too late. Make it simple! Don’t dredge over the past. The situation? What happened? What might happed? What if? But if? Women do this! We can’t! Don’t let her! Learn NLP and you will understand about framing negative stuff away from you, people who are confident and positive do it naturally hence their successful with relationships. If you are not, don’t worry just have fun with her, fresh start and blank canvas and this time paint a better, more fun picture on it! To do this you have to LEAD! Be strong so she feels she can trust and go with the flow…..Instead of Hamlet “Become the name of action!”

As always I hope this helps, if it f@%ks with your head just ignore it and have fun!

Take Care

P