Alex is a trainer on our live events, you can see their profile, and book a 1on1 with them or by emailing them. Alex welcomes your comments on this post.
Recently there was a girl I liked, and she told me she wanted to feel like a bird, because when a bird flies, it doesn’t care what anyone says or thinks about it. She said you have to fly before you can express yourself.
Nearby there was a balloon man holding balloons, so I said maybe if she held enough of them she could float up into the sky like a bird and land on the soft white fluffy clouds… she told me she didn’t think so but we could try. So we bought the balloons and we tied them to her but sadly it didn’t work.
Why did we do that? Was it a desire to leave behind Darwinian natural selection and beat evolution?
As humans we may not be able to attain the beauty of a free-spirited bird, its grace, movement and existence. But to notice what is important to her, to explore it with her, to create a mutual understanding of ideas from one emotion to another, and how it all relates to life… you can easily find out what makes her happy, and when to leave something at suggestion level.
If you’re curious, if you’re thirsty, if you’re creative, you can take an idea and make it seen. Nothing will happen if you don’t show it. Your mind will give you answers, it will give you the power to create something beautiful. Maybe the reality around us is merely something we negotiate between us…
Imagine…
In Western thought everything exists out there. Eastern thought, the mind exists and reality is an illusion. She comes to this place, maybe it is unreal, but she feels happy.
HB: One day I’ll wake up and I’ll think ahh alex, okay… I’ll call him. I’ll say hey it’s the girl you tried flying with…
Maybe today is just my memory as long as I can remind… the life is true…
Alex Street Kid
October 9th, 2008 at 4:35 am
This is part of the reason why this blog is surely one of the best PUA blogs around- theres so many different views, ideas and perspectives from the different trainers.
I gotta say, even though I have to read Alexs’ posts a couple of times to ‘get it’ I do enjoy your perspective on life. I like your thoughts on connecting with her mind; a lot of PU guys say stuff like ‘break into her reality’ but what you’re saying is ‘break into her mind’ and try and understand her reality that way. And then instead of ‘breaking’ in to her reality, you can begin to understand why she thinks her thoughts and connect with her via “mutual understandings”.
Spending time to understand her, noticing “what is important to her” and exploring her ideas is something that is often bypassed in PU by use of tricks and routines- so I love the fact that you’re coming out and saying make the effort to connect with her in this way. All the more reason to become natural with my game.
October 11th, 2008 at 7:03 am
through the use of understanding her reality, we can also learn to adapt our reality slightly to match hers, after all a girl looks for the “secret” meaning to things. but be careful not to adapt to much other wise your reality will be the same as hers and then you can’t really offer her anything new. if we can share aspects of the same reality she will see this as some kind of “sign” or a commonality between the pair of you, if you have a similar reality…surely you must understand her. now you “understand her you can explore this new shared reality in a way she couldn’t do by herself
October 12th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
WOW this has got to be the most useful pua article ever written.
October 12th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
“she told me she wanted to feel like a bird, because when a bird flies, it doesn’t care what anyone says or thinks about it. ” ??
That statement doesn’t make any sense at all! Who was this girl? How old was she? “When a bird flies, it doesn’t care what anyone says or thinks about it” !? haha, although i guess it’s so stupid it actually becomes funny. Perhaps she meant it as a joke..