Hey guys quick question………………..who lies more men or women?
Only kidding, love getting people’s attention and saying that :-P
Come on, it would kill if it I was standing in front of you saying it right now.
Anyway, moving on to my blog topic. I have decided to write this one on interruptions when in set, as ‘Reset’ left a comment on my last blog, which was a video approach, as to how I dealt with the woman receiving a phone call when I was in set with her and how they should be dealt with.
I am going to start by saying that each situation is different and there is no universal method for dealing with such interruptions. You must assess each set, at what stage of the pick up you are in and how important the interruption is for the woman.
In my video approach, I stayed in set and waited for the woman to finish her phone convo which she picked up mid-set. Why? Well, because at this stage of the pickup the number close was already on, it would be rude to walk away. Also, she was meeting her friend and that is who rang her; thus it was an important enough reason for her to break set and answer I felt. After she’d finished, I number closed.
If you feel she accepted an interruption in set that wasn’t acceptable by your standards and plain rude, then it is up to you how you react to this – some guys might huff and puff, some guys might approach another girl – Me personally, I tend to smile and walk away, as there is no need to react, as you gave someone who was rude far too much value. There is also no need to come off as a man whore and approach another woman immediately in front of her just for the sake of it, it is much more powerful to smile and walk away, although the next time she sees me I will be with a very good looking female friend of mine or HB I have just gamed, then I smile again, this makes her want to come over and work me, now she truly realises who the prize is.
Every situation is different, but whatever it may be think about the following two things:
1) At what stage of the pickup you are at; and
2) How important the interruption is for the woman
Hope it helps Reset.
Until next time stay kool and keep gaming,
Your Friendly, Neighbourhood PUA, Dharam ;-)
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Simple, but solid advice. I totally agree about not going straight to another girl in front of her, that’s just immature apart from anything.
It’s all back to that PU rule of being polite (if you’re blown out of a set, smile and say ‘pleasure meeting you’ etc), and I think thats the way to go- you don’t want to leave any bad vibes in ANY of the interactions you make, especially in a club as it could put you off big time.
Always enjoy your thoughts mate, and I really appreciate the fact you answer comments and show a presence on these blogs.
Thanks Dharam! I really appreciate it you taking the time to post something on interruptions. Actually it happened to me a couple of times yestesday. I was in a club and basically a friend interrupted me and at that time the girl’s friend started talking to her. It was going good but it was really early so I decided not to stay there and wait for her to finish so I just kino(ed) lightly and told both of them ‘I’ll see you guys later! Enjoy your night’. For the rest of the night I could have opened again but I just used the social proof they gave me every time I walked by.
The second time it happened to a set I had re-opened (so there was already attraction and comfort). I was with a girl one-on-one (3-set when I opened) and some of her friends had just arrived in the club and came to tell her they were going downstairs and she followed them. When I was leaving I went to say goodbye and I got her number. I understand it depends on the situation but probably experience in the field will teach us how to calibrate the situation. In this situations I just re-opened. But I don’t know if I could have waited..
Thanks again, I’ll keep your advice in mind next time!
hi,
who’s lying more? W,ell if a guy can follow the women’s emotional strategies, then maybe you dont know the answer :D :D
t0sh
hint: _emotional_. yeah something like that…
I think the concept of value runs deep throughout all pickup. It’s like a thermometer, and can go from one extreme to another. Here’s an example of both Vlaue and interuptions from my recent game:
Dexterity and I were in Tiger Tiger on Saturday, and opened two of the hottest girls in the bar. Whilst I was gaming my girl, this random, average guy comes over and starts talking about absolute crap with her. She seemed like she was just being polite, and stayed engaged in conversation. I stood there, unwilling to let some guy twice my size (and weight) make me eject from the set I’d just labourously warmed. I laughed at some of his jokes when she wasn’t, to give me value for actually approaching the girl, to get possitive associations going. I don’t really believe in amoging, I think it’s pretty needy – better to just make friends with everyone, and leave everyone feeling good! Eventually, this guy leaves, and our conversation picks back up. At this point, we decided to lead the girls around to the restaurant booths.
Another PUA training under another PUA company tried to amog us on the way (and was actually doing a fairly good job until we called him out as a PUA, at which point became got self-conscious). I stood there, arm around, kinoing my girl whilst Dexterity did the same, but still allowed this guy to try and game our women. I felt total non-attatchment to any outcome, and didn’t care if he managed to take these women away, because we were having a great night anyway. The girls must have picked up on this, because they stayed with us without hesitation.
We lead these two around the bar, and our value was running very high (helped, for me, by the suit I’d bought with Ollie). We eventually both started making out with our respective girls on the dance floor. Things rapidly got quite physical, until the guy I was giving some value to earlier walk back bpast again, at which point my girl goes cold, and stops being so physical with me.
At this point, I felt as though my alue had decreased, and that’s when things started to decline. She stopped being physical and started looking around a lot. I used push pull to keep her around a bit longer, but I probably should have just walked away while things were still their most positive, and likely came across as a bit needy at this point. You’ve got to be willing to lose the girl to get her, and after getting physical, I wasn’t – so I lost her, and my high value in her eyes. Eventually she makes her excuses and goes to the “bathroom” (more likely went to go find the other guy, who I now think was either her boyfriend, a good friend who she didn’t want to hurt, or some guy she’d hooked up with at an earlier point, and social consequences were stopping her with advancing things with me)
I hope you guys can learn something from my experience!
Thanks again for another cool post Dharam :-)
Hi Guys,
Glad to see you still commenting on my posts.
RICHARD: I think you have the right attitude to game, you certainly don’t have to be rude and give out bad energy to get girls.
RESET: Glad you enjoyed the blog post =)
TOSH: Good answer, hope you read and enjoyed the actual blog post also.
JOKER: I agree you have to be willing to let the girl go, be non-outcome dependent. A good way to rapidly increase your pickup is to simply say to the girl, when the guy comes in interrupts and tries to amog you, ‘Hey who do you wanna speak to – Me or him?’
If she says you, take her hand and lead her away straight to the restaurant booths or where ever. If she says no, walk away politely, non-outcome dependent ;-)
Stay kool and keep gaming.
Your Friendly, Neighbourhood PUA Dharam ;-)
Thanks for the response dude, that’s a nice non-outcome dependant, quite direct way of sortingout the time wasters from the girls that are really into you. Good congruence test too!
I like Joker’s point about laughing at the jokes made by a guy trying to interupt & AMOG – laughter shows approval – add in your own superior banter & wit – and it will only increase her admiration for you as a friendly social guy who can lead the interaction.
As for why she lost interest – you could analyse this forever – could just be that she has bad emotions associated with his actions/appearance/stereotype. Anyway you could state your objection as Dharan suggests – or just lead her away from him elsewhere. It reminds me of a story in the book God is a Woman where Ian Coburn was is in a club hitting on a girl under constant interruption from men surrounding him… so he picks her up on his shoulder, fireman style and carries her outside to his car!
I’ll do get a video of me trying one that next time Craig!
@Joker:
” Things rapidly got quite physical, until the guy I was giving some value to earlier walk back bpast again, …”
well, my opinion: you lost the last chance to approach ;) you just left this guy to stick around (a mistake), and with him around, she was getting cold/defensive/frustrated – for you too :) Just try to get her out quicker, even using the guy like ‘is he bothering you too? yeah let’s move out / change place / whatever’ :) that’s if you don’t like confrontations like suggested by Joker, but anyway don’t leave such guys a chance next ime :)
Yeah, you’re right t0sh, and that’s exactly what I did – I instantly approached the guy interrupting, because I knew he could become an obstacle. I let him hang around because they seemed to know each other well and it would probably have done more harm than good if I’d tried to get rid of a potential friend of hers! I should have found out early on in the interaction what connection the two of them had, and recalibrated based on that. Another thing I could have done better was to have left this girl to her own devices when I felt her interest in me was flagging, and gone to game other girls to stay in a non-attatched mindset.
Thanks for your feedback!