So, the essence of my first post was along the correct lines and I support them with this post.
The truth is that it’s not that easy to get motivated to go out, especially when you’re not getting the results you were hoping for. So, why not change your goals? It’s always important to set your sights high but social improvement is not an over night phenomenon especially if you’re doing it without professional tuition. With this in view setting realistic goal to get yourself started
E.g.
I will talk to five women for three minutes each tonight
or
I will approach an alpha looking male and ATTEMPT TO make friends with him tonight to increase my social circle
It is true that if you don’t set your sights high you will never excel however it is also true to say that if you set them up to high you will set yourself up to fail! Failing if that best way of learning what not to do but do it too much and you will lose your motivation to try.
Attempt to set small goal and we’ll move on to step three next time!
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love this…so simple but so true! im going to use this tonight! lets see how it effects my ‘performance’ / enjoyment.
sometimes im to hard on myself so i would add to this, celebrate the small things im getting right instead of always focusing on what im doing wrong or what i cant do…yet ;)
Thanks Angel
It’s important to make sure that the goals you set are feasible. Work hard and you’ll make it. Social mastery is a very difficult thing to reach and it’ll take time and many failures.
The key is understanding it, accepting it, and going through with it anyway.
It works :).
Past Saturday night I made friends with just giant dude and I talked to 2 women. I felt good. Next time I’ll try talking to some more women.
I think you need to cut a balance between taking small, realistic steps to keep your motivation going, and large, unrealistic leaps of faith to take you outside your comfort zone. You will learn more from your so-called “mistakes” (if you allow yourself to), but without some success to balance things out, you will probably lose motivation, and might start to have negative associations with gaming!
Something I’ve do when I take out students is to get them some basic results and help them achieve a good state, then we do what I call “blow-out game” – approaching girls with the intention of getting blown out, which unless you’re outright rude, I’ve found that it can be more difficult than you might imagine (it can get bit obnoxious).
In this way, by keeping it as a mission, it still feels like a fun game, so you can feel good about being “rejected” – it can’t bruise your ego, because you’ve achieved your outcome. You win by “failing”! It’s a backwards logic, as most guys are going into set with an outcome of “get the girl to like you”, not “get the girl to leave you”.
After practicing lots of different theories, I got bored and I started to do this with my own game. What I found was that I became desensitised to “rejection”, and starting to anchor those fun, joke-like feelings to approaching and “failure”. I easily rid myself of my AA, and actually started to enjoy getting blown out, hoping to see new, creative forms of female rejection (there aren’t that many original ones!)
The only problem I now have is that I don’t get blown out as much as I’d like – I’m making less “mistakes”, and I’m getting “good” results. The only sick part is that I just I only feel like my rate of learning is slowing down!