This week I am going to introduce a core aspect of my dancefloor game which is push and pull.I know you most probably have encountered this concept before in conversational skills, however I’m going to discuss how this permeates into the world of dancefloor game and how it can lead to solid results on the dancefloor.
Let us for a moment consider the following scenario: Guy is dancing in a nightclub, seems confident, is enjoying himself and is getting a considerable amount of attention from the opposite s&x (so far so good). At some point he is approached by a HB at which point he immediately begins grinding with her, after a few moments she stops dancing with him and a) leaves the dancefloor or b) goes back to dancing alone or with her friends.
I have seen this scenario played out over and over again in club situations and I’m sure you’ve seen it yourselves or have actually been involved in this type of interaction. Occassionaly this can work, but mostly it’s just luck of the draw and must be avoided like the plague! Rule number 1: If you ever see a friend acting in this way, slap him immediately – if you are doing this then I reccommend that your friends slaps you and if I’m in the vicinity I’d be happy to oblige! I constantly get students asking me how to grind, and in my opinion the grind is overrated and when performed too soon or too often, can be downright sleazy… Now don’t get me wrong there is an appropriate point at which to grind if you really want to, however DO NOT BEGIN TO GRIND AS SOON AS YOU ARE SHOWN AN IOI.
The Push and Pull on the dancefloor works in the following fashion: once you are dancing with the girl maintain a little more than half an arm’s-length distance between you and make sure that there is a playful/cheeky vibe about the whole interaction. You can do this by poking her (not too hard) in the ribs, dancing around her (you get the picture). Occasionally pull her in close (if you want grind BRIEFLY, then do so) and as you feel things heating up, push her away again and continue with the playful vibe. Repeat this several times and you will literally feel the sexual tension building-up in the air – at this point you can go for the kiss close, move to another quiet area of the club (instant date) or whatever ‘feels right’ to you at the time. I’ve used this technique a lot and have had girls literally wrestle me into a corner and begin making-out with me!
Experiment, enjoy and let me know how this works for you…
-P-
Push/Pull seems to have some excellent applications across many social dynamics and I can totally see how it works here and I’ll certainly apply it. It’s all about having the mindset that she should do the work to impresss you and not the other way around.
But an aspect of dance game I’ve always wondered about is social-proof. Does a guy need social proof in order to get to the situation where he is getting a ‘considerable amount of attention from the opposite sex’? If I were to get into the middle of the dance-floor on my own and begin dancing, would that work? Or do you need a base (a group of friends) to show that you’re not a loner?
Social-proof is not realy required if you have any idea what you are doing on the dancefloor and you are there not to impress opposite sex but having fun(people will notice when you fake it). Actually, when you seem to enjoy dancing, look cool, smell good, being alone makes you look even more confident and alpha.
And of course if you don’t feel confident enough to dance alone in the middle of dancefloor; pawn a HB 7 – 8 after a couple of IoI’s to dance with you.
Adding my own thought of dancefloor game:
This should only be a “I wanna impress my afc friends” type of game, not a solid 1.
When I go out, I really wanna pick my targets, I find it kinda afc to let girls pick me.
Wom man, this seems totally new to me since i don´t really play on the dancefloor but with those results you are talking about im gonna start to, LOL, however, this is all without chatting with the girl? just dancing? i mean you go for the kiss with not even a word? that seems amazing, though seems more real than the gambler´s “just walk to the girl” kiss without any word, not that can´t be done, but since i haven´t did any of those seems really amazing, but well, that´s why you are the masters right? LOl, im gonna try this men, id appreciate any aditional advice, take care!
POKER
The is what I understand of the situation; when the girl comes up to dance with the guy who is already getting a “considerable amount of attention” from the other women in the room, he is already viewed as something of a prize in the mind of the other women around the room, due to the social proof and pre-selection that he has going for him.
The woman who is seen as “good enough” to initiate dancing with this guy who is already considered “cool”, will gain a little of the guy’s status in the eyes of fellow females. She has attained the prize they are lusting over, and has gained validation as a powerful woman to them.
By grinding with her, he has given up a little of his power over those women in order to dance with her. At this point, if she is then to “reject” him first, by ditching him before he ditches her, she will be seen as being the higher status target, as the man had more attatchment to her than she did to him (else, he probably would have just lost interest).
By grinding as soon as you’re shown an IOI, you can sub-communicate to the girl you’re dancing with (and to all the others in the room) that you have no self-control, and really want this, which is likely to be something only a guy who doesn’t normally get this kind of attention from women would do.
Pushing the girl away after grinding sub-communicates “Thanks, that was fun. Now I’m done with you. Please me some more and I might let you get that close again”, which will likely lead to the girl wanting to prove herself to you more as it’s a non-verbal challenge to her ability as a dancer, and more inmportantly, to her ability as a woman to get attraction and validation from this man (in front of the rest of the crowd that she initially had to have the balls to step up in front of). She will have to if only to save face.
I agree. I would differentiate though between frontal grinding (face to face) versus you behind her ass.
Based on my experience, frontal grinding creates more intimacy and sexual tension. And if you can get strong eye contact with her, it feels to both of you like falling in love.
The “regular” push factors are lack of freedom in China (economic, religious, political) and lack of space. The pull factors are family and jobs.