Last night I took the residential student to Kate Moss’s party at Amika… I was talking to one of the girls at the models’ table and had an epiphany which I’d like to share with you.
If you were at NLP Ben’s special bootcamp which we filmed last weekend, you’ll have learnt a lot about storytelling… I know I did! (Thanks Ben, it was awesome!!!) For the first time, I was really conscious about a story I was telling the girl and how it was taking her on an emotional ride. It was fantastic. By the end of it, she was clutching her chest, her heart thumping, trying to catch her breath! Powerful stuff.
The funny thing is, I’ve told this story to girls loads of times (pre-game), but it always ended with a massive downer. It’s a true story and it involves an old friend who died in a car accident the following year. So there I would be, telling the story about this amazing time I had with an old friend, sharing all these exciting emotions and high energy, only for me to end it with – “and the reason this story has extra importance to me is that he died the following year, yet he left me with such an unforgettable experience” etc. etc.
BOOM! I’ve been making her feel fantastic, only to follow up with sharing the grief of losing a good friend and making her feel super-sad. BAD BAD BAD! I really can’t believe I wasn’t aware of what I was doing!!!!!!!
After Ben’s talk, I thought about this story and realised that if I just cut out the last part, it would be PERFECT for getting a woman excited. So I tried it out for the first time last night and it worked a charm. For a moment, I didn’t even know what to do with her, she was so worked up! LOL
(Yes, I know – “SHUT UP AND KISS HER YOU FOOL… YOU TALK TOO MUCH!!!” LOL)
I wasn’t interested in her but I’m glad I tried this out on her just to see how powerful it can be and how well it works. Of course, I was doing lots of non-verbal stuff at the same time; touching, eyes etc. but just a little bit of thought in preparation for what I was going to say and how I was going to say it made a massive difference. She tried to kiss me as I said goodbye, but I gave her the cheek haha!
I’ve decided not to share this particular story on the internet because it’s a very personal story and I wouldn’t like it being used by anyone else. If you see me at a bootcamp, however, ask me about it and I might tell you the story ;-) Alternatively, look out for the DVD of Ben’s special bootcamp which is coming soon!
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That’s awesome that you guys are all learning from eachother and are open to new ideas and theories.
I respect you for that as I imagine a lot of PUAs, who consider themselves at the top of their game, probably don’t like to think they can learn anything more about seduction.
As for the bootcamp, it sounds like it was a really interesting one. Im kind of divided on the subject of NLP, but I would certainly be keen to get hold of the DVD when it’s out to open my mind to what NLP can offer.
True man, If we want to get a girl excited and too feel good, then your story is perfect. I think it is very important in night game to get a girl excited, because we are in a club to enjoy ourselves, not to experience negative emotions.
But I have heard that top PU gurus use the term “an emotional rollercoaster!” ie making the girl feel happy, then just normal, then excited, then sad, then awsome etc. Apparently this mix of emotions will be “unreal” for the girl, she won;t know what is coming next. Its called a roller coaster because her mood goes up and down a lot, and I gotta say I think there is a lot of merit to this theory.
Women love to experience emotions,they get turned on from it.
Now, I agree not to share the end of your story in “club/bar game”…keep the girl on a high as she is there for a good night.
However in day game, share the whole story.(excitement then sadness)..then at the end of it (for example) you could ask her if she has any friends like yours or any friend she really loves and get her to tell you about them (she will like talking about her friends and will experience another emotion from this). And so on
here the girl is experiencing excitement,sadness and comfort from talking about her friends etc. She is on the rollercoaster, she won’t just think you’re a fun guy who makes her laugh, Now your’e a guy who can make her experience a wide range of emotions, shows depth to your character. I think thats a good thing…
Enjoy you’re weekends!
Cheers, Noel
Good point Noel. It is a good idea to be able to demonstrate and display your emotions to a girl- it will show the girl you’re chatting to that you can be compassionate as well as funny.
Someone in the community said that meeting a girl is like a job interview, you’ve only got a certain amount of time to impress the person opposite you. So techniques like the one in the post are useful strategies to use in order to convey your personality.
But remember that these techniques are for that- to convey your personality. So don’t go swapping your personality for techniques, tricks and gimmicks because otherwise you’ll just become hollow.
I realize the importance of storytelling. Who would knew that we would get into that stuff as a part of self-improvement? (not to say picking-up chicks! I hope it’s more than that..)
It’s really great as the other guys mentioned that even the instructors learn from each other and try to improve. RESPECT!!!
You know what? I think you should share the story with girls you really like because it’s a part of you. It shows that you are vulnerable and human, not only alpha!! Don’t share this with everyone you meet at a club though.. Save this for some special people on a day 3 maybe.. or when you have deep comfort. That’s my take..
And I agree the NLP DVD’s should be great!