The importance of opening
Leave a Comment (6) » | Posted in Openers & Routines |
I want to look at the actual importance of an opening; the question being: is it the most important part of pick up or maybe the least?
If you enjoyed that, you might also like...
- First tip on opening by Trigger
Hi guys, Opening is the most important part of the game that you need to be able to do, comfortably and confidently. I have created this video to give you some ideas on how to be able to approach more successfully. Hope you enjoy it ...
Posted on December 1, 2008 | Read more - Game Explained: How to get the Girl of your Dreams by Psych
My last two posts here emphasized just how important it is to be deprogrammed. It’s time to now abandon scientific or structured game as well as “natural” game that really isn’t natural as much as just chaotic with no real instruction. In it’s place I’d like everyone to learn social game. Social game is based on...
Posted on June 9, 2009 | Read more - How to be sexy in public by AnthonyP
Just as the problem of an actor is how to be private in public, the problem I think for the pick-up artist is how to be sexy in public. I see a lot of students who are very competent with many of the traditional aspects of game – opening, building attraction, getting comfort, and so...
Posted on June 27, 2008 | Read more
I’ve read little bits about how the girl needs to meet your standards rather than you meeing hers, but I love the fact that it is all laid out so clearly and defined in this post.
The frame of mind in the pre-approach is a really interesting topic, something which I’ve not really considered before. The idea of being fussy and have a list of boxes the girl needs to tick is awesome, especially as it means the guy won’t give all of himself away immediately he’ll hold himself back a little and that will prevent him from looking over-eager.
And I totally get how just having this aspect of inner-game controlled and mastered will save a lot of time wasted in opening sets with the wrong frame of mind.
Also it adopts a natural method of gaming, and thats something I think most of us are here to learn- natural seduction, not the recyled routines and tricks that are drowning the community at the moment. Good stuff!
Me again. I had some more thoughts on this last night, in particular regards to the opener.
The opener itself, surely it’s only purpose is to open a set right? All it is meant to do is to provoke a reaction from the set. So whatever is said doesn’t really matter, because after the opener you should then go into natural game anyway. Like Style proved with his ‘do you brush or floss?’ opener, it really doesn’t matter what is said, just so long as you open the group. After that it’s down to natural conversation skills.
In the example above with the guy talking to the girl about the corset he probably put too much dependency on the subject of his opener to carry the conversation, but I don’t think that makes it a bad opener or un-suitable. I just think he would need to work on discovering those threads where conversations can lead. For example the girl says “which girl wouldn’t like an item of clothing for £200?”… that could easily lead on to a teasing comment just like in the second example where the guy calls the girl a “ghetto girl”.
So my thoughts are, that is doesn’t matter what you open with (even canned material) just so long as you don’t rely on it to carry the conversation. Just consider the opener as just that- the opener, it opens, but it by itself, won’t keep the conversation open.
p.s. someone else comment on this post…please. lol
Openers are not just a way to “open” a set. It opens you up to endless possibilities of conversational threads…IF YOU JUST LISTEN. That last opener was great because it was obvious that he was listening and responding.
The first opener was more of him running that thread til it died. Then tried to open another thread. Doesn’t work as well than if you cut off the thread and then asked that question in between, multi-threading.
Or he could have made a comment about the corset. He could have made a comment about the color. Or even the comment about spending the money on clothing for a friend.
So many options but didn’t capitalize. It was almost as if he just waited til she answered it to get to the next question. You can go into natural game from the opener…like the second opener shows.
I’m babbling at this point. I just didn’t want Richard to be alone here. lol
Hey there, I’m from New Zealand and boy does this post make sense! Checking all the boxes instantly makes you more comfortable and appear confident, our PU lines in NZ usually include very broken threads like
guy : “hey…”
girl : “hi!!! =)”
guy : “how are you today?”
girl : “gooood? =)”
The kinda stuff you get from a clothing store assistant, not only weak and awkward but embarrasing for any mates in the area.
Thanks again for the brilliant advice!
Nice to see a post from a woman. I often find the way women present information much more matter-of-fact and less manipulative than when men try to convey the same ideas. I know this sound like the oppposite of what most guys out there think, but hear me out…
You see, when most guys go about teaching openers the main goal is to get the woman talking, then they can go on to talk the woman into liking them. This puts the woman (at least temporarily) in the position of power. And that’s about as far as the opener goes. The thing that I like about Kezia’s approach is that it takes the power element and objectifies it. It makes the opener an even playing ground where both parties can feel each other out, which is much more natural and comfortable. Let’s admit it guys, women are good at this shit, so let them be the ones trying to convince you into liking them.
Anyways, that’s my 2 cents, for what it’s worth…
Nice post Kezia.
– Ross
In my opinion, the opener is generally the least important part of pick up. Generally speaking, you can open with anything and do fine, but won’t always be as successful by doing the rest of the pick up in the same random manner.
I quickly learnt that the ability to create situational openers is like a muscle – if you don’t use it, it will never develop. At first, things are not always going to be completely great. But over time, you’ll get better at “finding someting to say”. I found a good thing to do when starting out is to look at the women around you, and mentally practice forming situational openers for as many as you can. It’s okay if you struggle to come up with something for every situation; as you get better, so will your ideas. I found that just by doing this, I eventually developed the desire to see what effect they’d have, and naturally began approaching.
My favourite openers are extreme and ridiculous by nature. I don’t always do them, but I’m pretty sure I speak for most PUA’s when I say that by maintaining a frame of mind where everything is just one big joke, a game, you become less outcome dependant and generally get much better results (and if you don’t, you have a hell of a lot more fun for petting your personal amusement first)…hence just one of the reasons for my PUA nickname.
Being in this joke-like frame of mind leads to being outcome-detatched leads to being willing to lose the girl leads to higher value behaviour leads to being a fun, sociable guy leads to teasing, negging, playful kino, etc, leads to attraction leads to getting the results that you want with women. Frame of mind, or belief, strikes me as being a higher level skill than behaviour, like Robert Dilts’ “Neurological Levels” of NLP.