I was recently talking with a student and he said something very common that we hear.- “I’m successful in all the other parts of my life; I don’t understand why success with women isn’t the same.”
In fact, before I first encountered PUA Training, I said the same thing myself.
Just to make things even more complicated there are a whole bunch of guys who aren’t successful in life, perhaps unemployed or moving from low value job to low value job who don’t seem to have any problems with women.
If you’ve been successful in life then chances are that you’ve focused your efforts on what you wanted, took some action. You saw whether the action had the desired effect and changed your approach if you didn’t get what you wanted. Repeating this cycle until you got what you wanted.
An analogy to this would be trying to open a safe. You try one number, if it doesn’t work, then you try another, when you find a number that works then you move onto the next.
In almost every part of life, keeping trying, paying attention to the results and adjusting your response is the recipe to eventual success. You’re trying to find the solution for that problem.
Why doesn’t this work with women?
Women don’t want to feel like they’re a problem that needs to be solved.
You don’t need to search for her code, number by number – that won’t work. You need to enter your own code – and you need to do it in such a way that you expect it to work. That what you do is done with confidence and belief is more important than it’s the perfect solution.
I’ve got a friend who’s rarely in work, he’s a pain in the a$%e as a friend, he’s always broke, gets in arguments with people easily, yet always pulls. He’s not successful in work because although he has great confidence in what he does, that’s not enough to convince his employers that there’s actually more than just talk. He’s entering his own code into every safe that he comes across – the only safe that opens is the one that’s not looking to be solved.
So what is YOUR code? Perhaps it’s wanting to find out more about her?(comfort) Perhaps it’s what you’re looking for in a woman? (qualification) Perhaps it’s having a laugh and joking around? (attraction/playfulness) Perhaps it’s sexual escalation? (seduction)
I’ve been working recently on some new products and ideas that I’m very excited about – more to come
I think the main problem that men face when it comes to being successful in other ares of their life and not being successful with women is because they are confident in one area and not confident in the other.
Its as simple as that.
Or they think that understanding women is not a skill set. That it is something that they have to be born with rather than something that cannot be studied, learnt and understood.
While like you say they shouldnt work on women as a problem. In many respects they should work on their inability to be successful with women as a problem that needs to be solved.
This will get them searching for new information, reading books, going to seminars, associating with different people and this will get them on the right path.
Hot Approach Coach
Approach Anywoman, Anywhere, Anytime
http://www.hotapproachcoach.com
I think successful guys who have a hard time picking up women don’t take rejection well from a woman. It’s not easy for them to get rejected when they have to protect their huge ego that stems from being rich and powerful.
It’s the complete opposite for me. I am between jobs right now and not at all successful, but I’ve had some inkling of success with to keep me going in “the Game”. Guys like me feed off minor success. On the other hand, the worst thing that could happen for a successful guy in terms of pickup would be if he were to get some success right off the bat. That success would enlarge his ego even more, and he would have deeper issues.
In other words, if you’re a guy that’s successful in life but not in pickup, learn to fail in this area, in order to succeed with women. If that makes sense to you haha.
-Maleko
maleko u hit the nail on the head for me mate!!!
“…if he were to get some success right off the bat. That success would enlarge his ego even more, and he would have deeper issues.”
thats whats happened lol
im off to fail some :)
“An analogy to this would be trying to open a safe. You try one number, if it doesn’t work, then you try another, when you find a number that works then you move onto the next.”
Are you from Liverpool??? haha, just kidding Liverpudlians!
Couldn’t agree more Gull, spot on as always.
Maleko, spot on about successful guys not wanting to fail… after all, it doesn’t quite fit with a self-image styled around being successful. Reality is, getting good often requires alot of failure in the process. Something I found it very hard and often painful dealing with just how rubbish I was with women, but at some point you just have to bite the bullet, pick yourself up and keep trying. Deciding not to take things personally from women who were effectively strangers made a huge difference for me and helped alot.
its probably like Matt H said, You just gotta have the confidence to fail!!! probably.
I think it’s the Da Vinci Code. I’ve always said that.