Now I’d love to say I came up with this…I really would…but the fact is that this was taught to me by my friend JC during the Miami Residential Bootcamp. For those who don’t know JC is the man who runs a company in London where he literally gets paid to bring out 30+ girls to clubs…I know I hate him to. :)
His game is simple and genius because it heavily relies on this one main principle, to disqualify any DHV’s. What this basically means, when you break it down in non nerdy pick up terms, is the act of being humble. We’re taught by this community to, “be alpha”, “be the man”, and show high value, but often this turns into two very unattractive traits. The two traits being bragging and arrogance.
By disqualifying our DHVs we use four principles which are…
1. Avoid these two traps and also make the DHV come off as more sincere
2. Make ourselves more humble which is attractive
3. Generate more comfort and become more likeable
4. Allows us plausible deniability for future problems
So what exactly does this mean to disqualify your DHV’s? Well lets look at an example.
Lets say you’d like to number close with a classic “Come out to my party” line and have a really good hook up for the party. Well there’s two very different ways to go about it.
Guy 1: You should definately come out tonight! I make sure I always know where they hot parties are and I got all the hook ups here cause I know key people hun. I don’t do this for everyone now, but you and your friends seem cool so I’ll make sure there’s no lines and we get our own VIP and bottle. Just make sure you only bring hot friends though cause that’s how I role. Let me get your number.
Guy 2: Now I don’t want you to get the wrong idea here, because honestly I’m actually a big dork at heart, but I definately like to have some wild and fun nights. It’s no big deal or anything but my friends and I do some parties at certain clubs, every now and then, and I’d love for you and your friends to come and join us because you all seem fun and down to earth, which is pretty rare here. We might even be able to get VIP and bottle service to. Haha I know, super baller right? Only thing though is the door staff are real dicks and will turn down girls they don’t find attractive. I absolutely HATE this but there’s really nothing I can do. So please only bring at least fairly attractive girls cause it’d kill me to have to explain to someone why they can’t get in. Alright, I’ll send you some more details when I get them. What’s the best way to contact you?
Ok lets look at these two guys and break it down a bit. Guy 1 is obviously being try hard and trying to impress. What he thinks is alpha and cocky is actually coming off as arrogant and he’s definately making a big deal about his DHV’s to compensate for other short comings. Guy 2 however disqualify’s every DHV and uses the four principles discussed earlier.
He uses principle 1 by making every DHV sound truly sincere. Because he makes it sound like no big deal there’s no question that him and his friends throw club parties and can possibly get VIP and bottle service. He even makes a joke about it saying “Haha I know, super baller right?”. Principle 2 is easily seen since he goes out of his way to make sure he doesn’t brag and even though he has connections to some really great stuff he down plays it to come off humble. Principle 3 kicks in by showing that he doesn’t consider himself better then the girls and is instead an equal and can joke about himself, such as calling himself dorky, which is an extremely useful tactic to make yourself likeable. He also handles the issue of only bringing hot friends along beautifully. Finally principle 4 is covered because he doesn’t truly promise anything and uses key words such as “every now and then”, “should”, and “might”. Therefore later on if things don’t go exactly according to plan he can easily get out of it. For example it’s much easier for guy 2 to save face if there’s no bottle service then there’d be for guy 1 who was so certain.
Now the idea of being humble in this way contradicts a major theory out there which is the idea of being Cocky Funny. However it really doesn’t if both techniques are used properly. Cocky Funny is a great way to flirt when it’s about things that are obviously exageratted and when done in a playful and kidding manner, such as saying “Yea it’s tough going out and dealing with all those girls always trying to get my number and take me home”, or ”Now don’t get to excited when you see me tomorrow.” When it comes to ACTUAL DHV’s that you have or perform however it’s always best to use modesty and be humble. Think of it by the simple rule to act alpha and talk beta. This doesn’t mean to try and talk down about yourself or actually act beta in any way though. Instead act alpha and actually show highly attractive qualities and DHV’s but don’t make it a large issue.
Think of Brad Pitt, would he go around telling people how cool he is, how much money he has, and how he bangs Angelina Jolie every night? Of course not! He’d probably be humble and make things out to not being a big deal…which just makes it that more impressive.
Hope this helps,
Psych
