A few months ago we had a caption competition on this picture:
The winner had this caption:
Girl: Look, I must confess; I am actually a pick-up artist and teach girls how to get guys
and won a great prize.
I normally run these competitions on my Facebook profile (Add me now). This time I wanted to do one for the rest of the guys. I’ve been in America, and the below picture was taken in Miami. I have to say, I was worried about whether there’d be hot girls there and whether by brand of game would work over there like it does in the UK. Luckily, I was okay on both counts ;) The below picture was taken on my first night out at a Miami club, what happened next (in pictures) is on Facebook. Right now i’m in New York, and i’ll be back in the UK (Via LA) soon. I’m enjoying the break, my first holiday in 2 years, eating nice food and hanging out with good people!
The picture is below, please put your entries in as comments. We will be picking the winner on Thursday so stay tuned.
Previous winners were these two:
Adam:
“This face, when used during the Comfort phase and combined with a twitch of the nose, lowers all the HB’s defenses; causing total confusion and extreme flopping of her arms. See figure 1.”
Ethan:
RG (thinking): Mmm…see-through top…I am SO photoshopping those.
HB (thinking): I can see my boobs in his ey- HOLY F@%K! HE’S MENTALLY PHOTOSHOPPING ME!
—–
Good luck in the competition guys! I’ll be in touch with the winner and work out a suitable prize worth at least $100!
thats odd. my creative genius cant come up with anything. owell.
RG: Pucker up honey, I’m Richard Gambler!
HB: I can’t look too easy, must pull back…can’t resist puckering up!
Gambler (thinking) 3-2-1 and pout
Gambler: Hey, how you doin’?
Girl (thinking): Shit, do guys still try that line!
Gambler: OWCH! That pole in your hair just poked me in the eye!
HB: OMG i’m sooo sorry. Here, i’ll pull the same face so you feel better.
“Dammit! This ‘telepathic Cube’ routine works every time back in London…”
Girl: Look, Richard, as much as I’ve fallen for that cute little button nose of yours I’m not getting on this plane with you back to the UK!
Gambler: hmmm….did you know that I can lick my eyebrows?
Girl:Hey close your eyes and i’ll show you my favorite party trick. [HB moves hands up to take off her top!]
RG: I saw you standing here pouting and realised I can’t touch my nose with my lips either, isn’t that a coincidence.
HB: Hahaha. I wasn’t trying to touch my nose with my lips, but i can with my tongue.
RG: Thats kinda cool….
Next thing you know bar, mojitos, digits dropping like its the matrix!!
lol
Gambler “magic trick….”
HB ” Go on…”
Gambler ” I bet you when I pout I can blow off the straps holding your dress”
Hi guys here’s my caption entry:
The world-famous “Have I got food on my face?” opener snags another hottie for Richard.
RG: It is completely befalling me, but I think I am actually into your little dinosaur arms sweetie
RG: No Daffy duck was the one that looked like this…
HB: Like this???
Girl: Damn it! How did he see me? I thought I could escape Gamblers charms by wearing black and blending into the background! I hate white staircases…
Richard: Whats 1+1?
HB:….Thats a math problem isnt it?
Gambler : shchee I camb tuch de tip ob muh nosbe wid muh upper wip.
HB: You are an odd funny little man.
RG: Look into my eyes and be mine…
HB: Look into his eyes and be his…
Thats just how good Gambler is.
I really like your videos and Audiocomments Gambler, probably the best i’ve seen.
Feel free to post some more instead of things like this.
Gambler (thinking): If I pucker up real big, maybe she won’t notice the bulge in my pants.
Guy: Really, every girl can improve her Facebook profile pic just by doing it!
Girl: Ok, show me again how to make a kissy face.
Make a picture contest !
Gambler (My UK-style non-verbals don’t seem to be working on these American birds)
HB (His nose hair is beautifully cropped. Wonder if he talks.)
The robotic art of seduction
“Did you know your nose wiggles when you laugh?”
[Lines that no one can ever use again, for the rest of eternity.]
Gambler: Camel toe?
HB: What you say?
Gambler: Come on you know you want me. After all your people have fancied us for centuries
UG: Yes, we worship your skin color, your eyes, your nose structure, your mannerisms. I wish I get a chance to ascend in the social hierarchy so that my kids will look less like me and more like you. Please give me a chance!!
RG:(thinking) mabey if i pout my lips i can kiss her without even talking to her.
HB:(thinking) mabey if i flap my arms about he will think i’m wierd and leave me alone
A natural evolution of Kino can be seen here, where a male subject tries to elicit a touching response from the wiling female.
Gambler: Kiss me, you fool!
HB: Whaaattt???
Gambler: “A Fool There Was” in 1915, first vampire kiss is a movie.
HB: Whaattt???
Gambler: [going in for the kiss]
Guy: “My face has been stuck like this since I was little”
Girl: “….that’s really too bad….I thought you were joking at first.”
Richard: hey, could you do me a favor, some asshole just punched me in the face, do I have any blood in my mouth?
HB: SHIT your left side is swelled as HELL, but still you got some blood over your face, let me wipe it off.
RG: hey girl, i’m gambler.
HB: your gambler! i thought Kenny Rogers was an old dude.
Richard: “Close your eyes and go like this”
Remember:
It is okay to bend arms to allow for gestures and kino.
It is okay to touch thumb to first and second finger to avoid fidgeting while standing in club.
It is not okay to combine the two.(Disobey and you WILL end up looking like her.)
Girl thinking: Oh – Am I supposed to kiss him now?
RG: Whoa girl not so fast…get a hold of yourself
HB: I’m just enjoying this heart felt moment…
HB: Can’t tell if I should kiss him or give him a slap with the back of the hand
Girl: “Damn, that Gambler guy takes that lame dental-floss thing wayy to serious!!”
Gambler: …girl why you be saying my bootcamps ain’t all dat?
HB: What the hell is going on? This guy hasn’t said anything for the past five minutes, he just walked up to me and puckered his lips!
RG:Yes,she fell for my little nose wiggle,look at her arms go.
HB:Oh yes,he fell for my baby arms,look at his nose go.
HB: There is a semen stain on my blouse on my lower right side!
Gambler: Surprise!
HB: Oh you!
HB: There is an arm coming out behind my head!
Gambler: Hmmm…don’t know if want…
HB: And a few years back I lost my penis.
Gambler: What a shame.
Gambler: “Oooo… Nice, but get those hands out of my damn view!”
HB: Wtf r u doin bro?
Gambler: I’m trying to kiss you, fuckface
HB: Well why don’t you go on and fuck off then?
Gambler: You go?
HB: *Slaps*
Gambler: *Slaps*
HOW CAN SHE SLAP?
RG: Would you like to kiss me?
HB: I’ve read it too!
http://img7.imageshack.us/my.php?image=n1051139103303460941594.jpg
Gambler: Why is your hand on your boob all the time.
HB:…cuz you keep “boob kinoing” me…
Gambler: Alright then, *kissy face*
HB:…let me guess, you’re gonna “mouth kino” me now?
Gambler: Fuck, you bitches are getting smart nowadays. Go back to the kitchen!
HB: i really like you, do you want to come back to mine?
RG: God no ! i’m just practicing
HB: “If i stare at his mouth long enough he might just kiss me”
HB “Im still shaking from that orgasm you gave me”
Richard (jason statham tone) “ya it wasent to bad was it”
HB: K so wanna fuck already?
Gambler:…k so the cube is floating in the middle of the desert
HB: Wtf is this bullshit?
Gambler: STFU I’m doing the cube
Gambler: You know, you probably look like shit without makeup. I’m not wearing any, and I look fine, therefore I am prettier than you.
HB: This has got to be the worst neg ever…
“Hes alreay stained my top, what more does he want?”
Gambler: Wanna fuck?
HB: No
Gambler: Fuck this LMR bullshit.(Jizzes in his pants)
HB: Gross, you got some on my tank top!
Gambler: My hair is prettier than yours
HB: Yeah, well I have an arm coming out of my head!
HB thinking: Did he just fall asleep? Am I that fucking boring?
1st photo:
HB: You have a little mustered on your collar. Here let me lick it off.
2nd photo:
RG: I just sucked on a lemon a while ago.
HB: Oh! I thought you were normaly like that.
Girl: What would you give me out of ten?
Gambler: I’d give you one!
Girl: No I don’t want to have a “kiss staring contest” with you!
Gambler: (aiming for her lips) See, this is how one docks with the International Space Station.
HB: Uuuuh! Is that a cargo boom in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
RG: On a scale of 1-10 how big can you pucker your lips? mmMm..
Is the chicken dance REALLY part of the pick up?
Girl: my sister with the devil horns and pitchfork will be right back… but in the mean time…
flashing of the teeth!!
shattering girls defenses since 1980
(i think that’s Richards birth year)
pua: “Notice when celebrities are getting their pictures taken they always make this face?”
girl: “Like this?”
pua: “Yeah, but a little more upper lip, and a little less inhibition.”
RG: *pouts lips* hmmmmmmmmmm….. I wonder if my game will work on this American babe as good as it has worked previously on European HB’s :P
HB: hmmmmm I want to know what you’re thinking, I hope you don’t bust me for my intentions of gaming my first European…… :P
HB: I’m not wearing any underwear.
Gambler: You and I would not get along, I’m not wearing any either!
RG: (thinking) holy francis, that’s a nice rack… not to self i am a motorboating son of a bitch (speaking) hey :) you look great tonight, how about we head back to my hotel and have some “ice cream” ;).
HB: (thinking) breath in, breath out… (speaking) HEY! OMG YOUR BRITISH! THATS SO CUTE! I LOVE ICE CREAM!!! :D :D :D OK!!!
RG: Why are you making that strange face?
HB: What do you mean?! You told me to make a puppy face?
RG: That’s not a puppy face…THIS is a puppy face.
RG: Your cute, but I’m cuter.
Richard: This girl… is the HOTTEST… SPACE ALIEN I have ever seen. I would totally FTC, NEG, C&F and DHV you.
HB: shut up and ET… Escalate Touch
‘BEYOND Natural Game’….The New Richard Gambler “PYSCHIC MINDWAVE TECHNIQUE” in ACTION!
After finding a secret and ancient body language technique that turns women into bunnies.
Gambler: You want a carrot?
HB: what?
RG: What up, Bitch
HB: Oh my God, he is so – like – cute. I think I might let him sleep with me tonight.
RG (thinking): Damn these Miami Chicks are tough. I can do this face but how am I supposed to pace her rabbit posture?
girl: keep walking boy.i dont care if ure a PUA or a POW..i said NO half and hour ago and the answer is stil NO now.
HB: You’re accents wierd!
Richard: Actually, it’s been voted the sexiest accent in the world.
HB: Really? I like your eyes.
wth?! im here teaching you how to do the chicken dance with my arms flapping and youre showing me the “duck face” dance?
“Helping the young girl practice for the special olympics was a very satisfying mission for Gambler”
-Ben
HB: OMG did he touch my boob on purpose? HMMM nevermind, he looks innocent to me….
HB: Phew its getting kinda warm in here…
HB: I think ill show him my O..O..O face later
RG: What’s that smell, honey?
HB: I don’t know, poo bear, but I’m going to keep my arms down until we find out.
Gambler: (Thinking) If I stand here with a strong frame making a kissy face, whe will enventually submit and make out with me.
HB: Why the hell is that weird guy standing there?
HB) “So this is how you want me to hold my hands when I am trying to pick up men”
HB) Thinking: As I look into your eyes, all I can imagine is, hugging you.
Gambler- “Ive got something waaaay better then The Cube….The Face!”
RG: I’m drawing you closer to my lips without using my hand
HB(thinking): “I’d kiss him if it wasn’t for that massive piece of snot hanging out of his nose.”
Gambler: “I’m the coolest dude out here, I can seduce every women! I might look weird, but you will sleep with me…”
Chick: “Wow really? So you must be Mystery then?”
that should be woman btw
HB: Maybe if I pull this stupid face he will stop mirroring me
Girl: Talking with you Richard is so great, not like my last boyfriend he said that my conversations always put him to sleep…..Richard……Richard
Give us a kiss love!
Gambler: Hmm…should I run jealous girlfriend or just read her palm?
HB :(Thinking)What a huge ass mole under his nose !?
Gambler :(thinking) Stop looking at my mole !*pouts to cover it*
RG (thinking): I hope she doesn’t notice how hard i’m trying to remember that damn pickup line
HB(thinking): is he trying to figure out the root of 273?
RG (thinking really hard) : how did that damn pickup line go again?
HB(thinking) : is he trying to out-pout me?
HB: Who is this geek, he’s blocking my view.
RG: I look so cool right now.
All HB’s should note that, contrary to popular belief, covering oneself up does NOT make it harder to be mentally undressed – both hands or otherwise.
HB (thinking): Jeez, when I told this guy to ‘Whistle Me Dixie’ I didn’t mean it literally!
(Sorry Gambler, I’m just jealous!)
Gambler: “There is something special, something unique about you… but I can’t seem to put my finger on what it is..”
HB: “Do you mean my little dinosaur arms?”
Girl: er,how do i ‘mirror’ that?!
Girl: is it Brando?
GAMBLER: (adopting transilvanian accent)”Look into my eyes Cute Miami Strumpet…..! Look into my Eyessssssssss…….!!!!”
HB: “Eh..?”
GAMBLER: “Now, rub your breasts!”
HB: “What…?! My hand….?! Oh my God!
WHAT AM I DOING?!?!?!?!?!?”
PUA STUDENTS and AFC’s WATCHING: “WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
GAMBLER:(Nodding and smiling)
Rich, w descending look: (hmm, Jessica Biel look-alike, hair tied back to show long neck, stylish crossed straps… SEE-THROUGH TITS! Damn, I’ve screwed my face, compose yourself, compose yourself)
Chick: (I wonder if he’s noticed my cum-stain and no knickers yet…)
Btw, there’s some really good entries above that positively made me lol!
Gambler: ” sorry I’m not normally this forward but please could you look to see if I have some spinach in my teeth, if you find some you can keep it!”
Gambler: Uuuuh, you come here often?
HB: Do we know each other
Gambler: Are you Stacy’s Friend from the bar
HB: No i don’t know any Stacy, I think I know You were that creepy guy who approached me in Oxford Street last year when I was in London
Gambler: [pause for thought] No you must have me confused with somebody else,…
You have a nice hair style, it makes you stand out!
Gambler: I told you if I ate my own lips you’d forget about that invisible drink you’re holding!
Gambler:(thinking) “Oh, shit I picked up the Crazy glue, instead of the chapstick!”
HB: (thinking) “Was that Chapstick in his pocket, or is just happy to see me?”
RG: I…*pondering*…am not sure which is worse, the fact that you have no purse on yourself, waiting for someone to buy you a drink OR that you might actually have some bucks stashed *in* there.
G: ! (busted – loses turn)
RG: I am sure there is reasonable explanation for this…
Richard: Is that your pussy I can Smell?
HB: NO! Its not!
Richard: It must be your feet then.
(Only Gambler could neg like that!)
Gambler: Get your coat love your pulled!!
HB: Go away you god damn jerk.
Gambler: Oh go on love give us a kiss.
HB: (Shouts) Security!! Security!!
Gambler: Dont you know who I am? Why Im Gambler.
HB:(Runs away)
An unamussed Gambler says, “You’re a great kisser but can I have my tongue and my lips back?”
Georgios Samaras is’nt scoring on the park but he is scoring off it!
Have I seduced you before?
The target is locked in and the comfort is there and after a nifty spin by our pua, so that it appears they are being hit on by the target, they are in a good position. But unfortunately she fails with her comfort question off “Who do you think lies more, guys or girls?”
Gambler: Oh my god, my face is stuck!
Girl: Mine Too!
“The Dangers Of Pulling Silly Faces When the Wind Is About To Change”
Gambler-sorry about the stain love
Girl- just dont let it happen again
Gambler ponders- emmm ill try not to
Gambler: mmm, you see that splash of cum or your top by your waste under your left breast?
HB: Oh shit yeah!
Gambler: I will finish dying your top white, at my place…
HB(thinking): Does he want to kiss me?
RG(thinking): Why coulden’t I walk past without buying that giant gobstopper?
The well practiced heart shaped bubble gum bubble, spectactialy failed as the gum landed on the HB’s new dress
The blind pout was a risky and daring move, but it stoped the HB in her tracks
pua thinking to himself…..” If only you knew everything I know”
There’s a lots of good ones already.. but..
1. Girl: Are you going to kiss me or not?
Gambler “Initiating kissing maneuver B2-Gamma-0″
2. Gambler [focused] “Don’t look at her breast.. Don’t look at her breast..”
Girl [exited] “Oh God! He’s looking at my breast! He’s looking at my breast!…”
3. Who’s judging who?
4. Girl “Another one! Not only messy hair but strange accent to..”
Gambler “Another one! Not only skinny but strange gestures to..”
5. Duel of the fates.
i know you want me…but let ME think about it
Man: Hey baby, wanna dance?
Girl: I’m not sure about you.
Man: *pinched face*
Girl: Omigod take me now!
Audience: *gasp* MAGNUM! It’s beautiful!
Girl (thinking): just shut up & kiss me!
Girl (thinking): hope his bed is more confortable than my ex’s !!!
*Due to revealing clothing going for a kiss could be done without the usual precautionary frisk needed in Miami.*
Gambler: Yawn, all this sarging got me….zzzz..zzz
HB:Someone pinch me, I’m dreaming!
Study pickup with the amazing Gambler; So good he can sarge in his sleep (see picture above)!
Gambler: Without me telling you, try to guess what I’m like…personality wise.
HB: Hmmmm….
Gambler: Picture whatever you see, somewhere on me..
HB: Umm..why do I see you banging a bunch of naked girls on your forehead?
RG: Is that your pick-up fart I smell?
HB: Have we met before?
RG: Hey, I’m Richard!
HB: Hey, I’m Aimee, with two E’s.
RG: (thinks) what’s she talking about they’re C’s at most…
;)
RG: Heeeeyyyy…..look I can have pouty lips too. SEE?
HB: How nice!! Is that a booger I see in your nose there?
Girl (thinking to herself): Oh My God… I can’t believe I have to sleep with him now !
Girl: Do you think I should have worn the leggings?
RG: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Let’s play guess the celebrity, okay here’s a clue – I crave orphans and i had the part as Tomb Raider…
Great stuff guys, thanks. A winner will be announced tomorrow!
Gambler: alright ill see you around.. just remember the face for when we need eachother to get some stupid asshole or drunken girl off our shoulder.
Girl: ahaha, ok lets practice it one more time !
cameraman: *SHOT*
Gambler: Activating X-ray vision scan…
HB: Dude, they’re freaking out there!
Gambler: Yeah, but to me it is the inside that counts…
Guys, we have a winner! Straight Cracker did like 10 comments. Some of them were not so great, but I really liked these two:
HB: K so wanna fuck already?
Gambler:…k so the cube is floating in the middle of the desert
HB: Wtf is this bullshit?
Gambler: STFU I’m doing the cube
http://img7.imageshack.us/my.php?image=n1051139103303460941594.jpg
He took the time to do some photoshop work so extra points for effort. I’ll be in touch about the prize. Congrats.
Thanks to all the other guys and I hope people enjoyed the comments, there were tons of funny ones! Use the link at the top of the blog to add me on facebook and see what happened next with this girl…
1…. noooo i said largemouth bass, not smallmouth bass !
-Have you ever heard of a “dual-induction message” ?
–Who the fu*! do you think you are talking too: gurrl?
“So yeah Ive been practicing this new NLP anchor and when I screw my face up for an AFC type uber-kiss, you end up touching your right breast and look at me like a bewildered puppy, hang on a second and watch”…..”
2ND PIC
GAMBLER INNER DIALOGUE : OK , YOU CAN HAVE THAT TITY BUT THE OTHER ONES MINE!
1ST PIC
HB: I LOVE IT WHEN YOU FONDLE MY WINGS OH ELF LORD OF THE AFC’S!