Other Men……? Not an issue!
This post is in response to replies to my last post on being (‘Free of Control in a Relationship’) An off topic came up and I also have had e-mails from people around the world worrying about the same thing. The subject being other men and a woman’s past. The general concern is relating to PUA’s. Guys worrying that PUA’s have some special powers to steal their women.
I quote a reply from previous post
“Dear Sweeney,
I have a question. Becomes you know how guys tend to present their s$x lives like they sweep women with some magic spell and f@%k them silly then toss them to the curb like they were some 20p toy.
sometimes i think shit. what if this girl im dating like got f@%ked on a one night stand or got spitroasted by some hot PUA guys like you read it in the field reports. its like gahhh. yes its great for them but i wouldnt want their left overs and sometimes i worry like could ALL women fall for that spell? because pua guys make it seem like they could casually f@%ck any woman and toss her out.”
This is really not about any other man’s sexual abilities or strengths but the route of the matter is a person’s own insecurities and lack of self worth. You really have to value yourself and realise there are things you can offer that no other man be (film star, MPUA, natural, whatever…..) can. Indentifying those qualities and embracing them in a non-egocentrically way is the way to have great inner game! However on a bigger scale the more you learn about yourself, the more you will become aware of what will make you happy in any kind of a relationship and not what you THINK will make you happy but the qualities in a person that will! The key to being able to identify the kind of partner that will actually bring something to your life and make you happy and then you will stop wasting your time trying make gorgeous loss causes work with game and manipulation. (See my last post on ‘Letting go’)
From a logical or ‘Game’ perspective other guys are really not a problem. They only become an issue if you let them in your head and then all your silly insecurities rage to the service in a needy way which repels them. The reason other guys are no competition is a thing called PAIR BONDING. When two people have s&x, oxytocin and Endorphins are released, which helps bond the relationship. This is much stronger in women. When it is released during orgasm, it begins creating an emotional bond — the more s*x, the greater the bond. That is why it is important not to put the stunningly beautiful, well brought up, good morals, ‘not that kind of girl’ on a pedestal and be scared of escalating out of respect. She wants a guy to lead her to that place even if she hasn’t been there often. That is all MPUA’s do because they know this and know it is all about creating sexual comfort! MPUA’s do this rapidly hence they don’t spend months like other guys getting a girl to be sexual with them. So you see others guys are just not to be worried about because they DON’T have that bond with her. So a woman can see the most sexual and stunningly good looking guy in the world and look at him in amazement but still not act on it or even want to. If a girl is totally in love with me Brad Pitt couldn’t game her off me, there are things I can offer her that Brad can’t (and vice versa but I am sure he is happy with Angie so I’m safe ;-) you should have the same attitude.
I regularly have ‘Top PUA’s’ asking me for advice, they have issues too. However what gives top PUA’s a ‘glow’ apart from over the top non-natural marketing is that they understand
Sexual dynamics and escalation
Themselves (the foundation)
And have a real sense of inner confidence because they know how to be their most attractive self.
That differs from PUA to PUA. However that is all you can hope for….. ‘To be your most attractive self,’ what more could you ask for and then you will feel happy and be coming from a place of abundance and peace. And remember, as my good friend Gambler says ‘Anything that another human can do is learnable by you’ that is why our bootcamps and events are always full of people learning these things…….. Otherwise we wouldn’t be in business.
So if……
You are able to identify and embrace your individual attractive qualities and what you’re ACTALLY looking for in a partner.
Are able to be your ‘most attractive self’ through natural game
And finally you’re having s$x with your partner therefore strengthening the bond each time.
So it does not matter if ‘Mr. Super big balls MPUA super s”x star dripping in s@x appeal’ comes along she is bonded to you not him and his presence should not affect or intimidate you just a great opportunity to display your security and strength.
Finally you CAN NOT be jealous of her past so don’t bother. One of the top 3 qualities of millionaires and leaders is they don’t spend time worrying about things that they have no control over. You can’t control her past but you can control your future together. Using the 3 things above will help to make that a brighter future and with no fear of other men.
Much Love
wow… this is the best line: The reason other guys are no competition is a thing called PAIR BONDING. When two people have sex, oxytocin and Endorphins are released, which helps bond the relationship.
i love you dude. so much useful information. thanks!
OH FFS THX FOR PUTTING THE SPOTLIGHT ON IT LOLZ
Thx sweeney,
its good to hear your opinion on this since most guys pretend theyve NEVER had any worries about this and guys generally are embarrassed when it comes to these type of things.
very interesting and informative.
Loved this article
Great info. Its 100% true.
its curious…
because gambler spouts these ideas about loving women and so on YET he portrays them as brainless sex objects at the same time. All puas seem to do this. arguably this is misogny because someone who isnt a ready-made pua like 99.9% of puas who got women in the first place would swallow this up as a literal.
And also. Its odd. how could a woman possibly be attracted to gambler knowing shes going to end up as a trophy whore on his facebook or on the Puatraining homepage???
i swear the only people that find player guys attractive are:
1. insecure women.
2. 35 year old average looking women
3. stupid women
4. guys who dont get women
5. super sexual women
from my observations a bad boy is different from a player really.
one could be a bad boy and not be a player?
yes the player is the saddo lowlife wannabe-badboy version of a badboy
Hey Guys -
OFF TOPIC – but healthy
1) A badboy? See Kezia’s recent video on GOOD GUY, BAD GUY and NICE GUY on blog. She explains it very well.
2) A player is just guy who is seeing various different women. I have been focussing on relationships and more inner game recently but please don’t hate the player. In my view long as he is HONEST with women in his life and when he is with them he treats them amazingly (which is how you keep hold of seeing many women) then it is not a problem.
On one hand women love the player because he get there emotional brain with being sexual, dangerous, exciting and a price and sometimes has great value………on the other hand the logical brain kicks in and they are wary they could get hurt. However if you are honest, you are eliminating this fear because it is very hard to get hurt by ‘an honest man.’
Regarding ‘The Player’s’ attitudes towards women…. Well when a guy is coming from huge place abundance then it is easy to get disillusioned by women and how easy they are so they can sometimes lose respect that is when someone comes along who doesn’t fail for your normal game it makes you sit up and take notice.
Hope this helps guys and thanks again for taking time to read my posts
Sweeney
Great fucking post dude!
True about the player stuff too and chill out sexy boy, all good buddy! – Good to see someone dealing with the inner natural stuff instead of all this MM Bullshit.
Rock On! You’re a Gee!
there is this chick i knew who i had a crush on who has big tits and its curious.
how come when i first met her she was pretty but now suddenly she looks pretty hot hot. i mean when i first saw her she looked pretty loserish now she looks pretty hot hot.
i dont get it. i think she used me to discover her own femininity or something possibly.
ive had an interesting year and im a bit disappointed i couldnt have taken things further with any chicks i know but then again it probably would never have happened in the first place so its no big loss. also i dont really have anything going with any chicks i know nor do i want to associate myself with any chicks from my past.
but at least i get to start with a clean slate! yippie!
i find that by going with sexual girls u dont have to worry about cheating on them or dumping them because they will find another penis anyway. so at least that gives you freedom rather than going for the sweet innocent types.
to be honest, if you get a girl whose been fucked about 400000000 times then you dont have to worry about other men because shes been fucked a billion times anywya so its not a problem!
but still.
id be annoyed if a PUA did something to one of the girls i know or something. i wouldnt mind if it was a natural. BUT A PUA! OIMFG
but to be honest in PUA terms.
women are just as bad as men but in different ways. in terms of manipulation and so forth. but its way more obvious when men do it then women but they are on equal footing when it comes to manipulations etc.
plus i used to think there was a difference between good girls and bad girls but actually there isnt and theres no such thing as a sweet and innocent girl really.
and that fact is actually quite liberating!
but still if a girl was with a PUA i wouldnt want her fuck that. but a natural then yeh w/e
i think a girl pickpocketed a little thing from my pocket today. FUCKING FUCK!!!!!!!11111111111
and plus by accepting that there is no such thing as a pure innocent girl it leaves one open to wonderous possibilities whereas if one believes the whole purity thing one is like OMG I MUST HAVE HER AND PROTECT HER PURITY!
What are your thoughts on attraction? Is it purely physical at the beginning. Do you have to begin with attraction or can it be developed over time? I think emotional and spiritual attraction keep us in love and is what makes strong relationships. Appreciating how lucky I am to have my spouse makes me think of her as sexier? What is it that attracts you to your spouse besides physical appearance? Also Why dose attraction sometimes fade? What makes it fade? Lastly, what prevents it from fading?
Sweeny – love you’re posts, in particular the last couple! Letting go and being strong enough to not try and control her… totally true, and the emphasis on inner game is spot on!!
With regards to the “foundations” knowing thyself ;) being/becoming the most attractive me…
How would you suggest I/others could work on this, developing awareness/sense of self, personal qualities, self esteem etc…
I know Gambler has done some great nlp questions for goal setting etc… any ideas?
Keep on rocking!
great post sweeny. you made a good job over here :)
You know you wrote a good article when you get a bit of controversy. I have discovered after years of doing this, that I make the best connections with the most conservative of women. The past doesn’t matter, it’s all about the present.