One of the greatest realizations I’ve ever had in game was realizing that 90% of my game was to try and impress the girl. Whether it was being interesting, trying to find ways to DHV, act alpha, be funny, cold read and role play, or a myriad of other things…it all was to impress. Logically this makes sense though. We want the girl to like us, so by impressing her and showing her how high value we are then voila, she likes us! Unfortunately while this makes sense on paper it rarely makes sense in the field. Lets look at some of the reasons why…
*When we try and impress it means we want validation and approval from the other person implying they’re of a higher status then us
*Trying to impress leads to chasing and needy behaviors
*When we try and impress we have to “sell” an idea (in this case attraction) which puts us in a dancing monkey or entertainer role
*Wanting to impress leads to the possibility of failure which in turn leads to unattractive qualities such as nervousness, frusteration, resentment, insecurity, and of course anxiety
*It immediately puts the girl as the prize
The list goes on….
Instead though what if we gamed in a way that focused on making opportunities for the girl to impress us instead? Then everything I just mentioned earlier is now flipped. When the girl begins attempting to impress us she begins chasing us which then causes her to become deeply attracted. We all value that which we work for and which is hard to get. The problems most guys have is that they want soooooooo bad to convince the girl that they’re high value they do the exact opposite. High value guys don’t brag or try and impress, they simply assume everyone knows they are high value. Instead of trying to DHV truly high value guys will instead offer tests and get to know someone to see if THEY match up to HIM. The act of seeing if a girl is worthy of you without trying to impress her creates tremendous attraction.
With this new mindset in place my game has drastically changed. At this point it rarely looks like I’m really gaming or doing much of anything anymore. The vast majority of my game is really finding ways for the girl to game me. I want HER DHV stories, I want HER busting out routines to keep me interested, I want to be entertained by HER, and I can take it as far as finding ways for the girl to even sexually escalate on me.
By showing and adding value (as opposed to trying to DHV or brag), by interacting with the girl in a way where you truly are not trying to impress her, by leading the interaction and helping her find ways to game you, as well as showing a strong comfortability and confidence (especially when it comes to sexuality)…I promise you’ll have the girl finding all sorts of ways to impress you.
Hope this helps,
Psych
(To read more about me visit my web page at www.puatraining.com/psych and to contact me for any one on one work or bootcamps email me at psych@puatraining.com)
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Hiya Psych,very cleverly put,good way of thinking
i agree with you totally psych. if you play hard to get and you dont try to impress the girl, the tables change. now, can you tell us some examples on how to do that?
i am thinking in asking questions, but im not sure if its ok.
for example, if we are in a bar, and she is a party girl, after talking for a few minutes i could ask:
“if all the bars where closed, how would you have fun?”
here she will try to impress me, to tell me that she can always have fun everywhere.
then when she answers, i can make a push pull technique like:
“ohh really? thats great! i love girls who do that! but its a shame that you are short.”
(of course i wont tell this to a short girl, just if she is pretty tall she will get the joke)
im getting it right? or what other ideas do you have?
The act of not trying to impress itself is a BIG DHV.
This is a good mindset to have and one that i myself realised when out in field as well and explained why some interactions just didn’t go beyond a number close… I realised that the girl gave her number purely as a reward for keeping her ‘entertained’ for the few minutes i spent talking to her, only to not return my calls when i went to follow up…
The biggest problem about what you wrote though is how do you reverse the frame when a girl doesn’t even know your value yet? It would work in the clubbing environment very effectively assuming you have lots of pre selection and social value, though how would this work in the day time on the street?
You can assume high value, and talk as a high value guy but how will she be convinced when she doesn’t know who you are to begin with? Being high value is a DHV in itself, though knowing how to display it is difficult…
Love it. Approval seeking is such an attraction killer, and prizing is a great frame to use to avoid falling into that trap. It’s fun to be able to flip the script, and have girls chasing you instead.
this is a short blog, but truly one of the most important I have ever read. Great stuff dude ;-)
law of attraction, really impresive :)