There’s a term out there that applies to newbies. It’s called “Paralysis of Analysis”. When I first started I definitely fell into this trap. I’d read everything there is to read, and post every place I could find, but rarely go out and do any field work. Now I find it irritating to force myself to sit at my computer and post anywhere, since it takes time away from the time that could be spent in the field, developing social circles, or school and other life building goals.
Many new guys fall into this trap yet many find there way out again and begin going out in the field as I did. There seems to actually be a natural correlation. Those who stay in the community for 3 months will keep it going and those who stay for 5 months usually have begun really learning from the field. This post isn’t for the new guys though. This is for the guy’s who have taken the game seriously and have gone out again and again into the field and still have yet to begin seeing the results that they’ve been waiting for. This post is for every guy who has asked the following question…
“What do I need to do to make that change and get myself to the next level?”
The answer? Become Your Own Guru
Have you been in this game for over a year and a half and still not getting the results? Be your own guru.
Do you go out practically every night yet still see only mediocre improvement, if any, when looking back over the months or years? Be your own guru.
Are all your PUA friends progressing while you feel perpetually stuck on a plateau? That’s right, be your own guru.
See I began noticing when I first got into this that every time I went out with my community wings that a familiar pattern began to happen. Before every pick up we’d discuss what Guru X thinks and why some particular way is better because Guru Y said so. Then during the night out I’d notice that every community guy had a tendency to talk about game instead of actually doing it. I did this myself for a while but finally broke out of that mindset, even so many wings would try and talk about it regardless. Finally at the end of the night we’d have a debrief where I’d be told how something I did was wrong because of something Guru Z said and then we’d debate who made the most sense out of Guru’s A, B, and C.
Everything I did in field was the result of something some OTHER GUY thought was right and taught it to be done. It was maddening to see all the different styles and methods out there, and try and figure out which guy I should listen to. Hoping that the next product from Guru X would finally be the missing piece I’ve always needed. It got to the point where I felt almost everything I learned about pick up could be debated because of the different beliefs and ideas of Gurus. Now that I look back it was a new form of “Paralysis of Analysis” all over again but not quite, it wasn’t exactly guru worship either. It was something I’ll call “Guru Overload”.
PUA’s with Guru Overload can be going into the field nonstop, the problem however is that they keep trying to juggle all these different ideas out there and use stuff from other people without ever trying to figure things out for themselves. Instead of using the community as a reference point to make sense of their own findings they never try and make any of their own findings at all and just keep practicing the next shiny idea in the community. Should we be trying to DHV or is the answer simply to tease more?!
I finally had my click one day and decided that from now on I would determine what’s best in field, not any other guru, unless it made sense for what I personally have been finding. When I did this my game improved dramatically. My wings would say “Why are you doing that? Guru X says you should do this instead.” My reply to this every time was “Ah, but I say I should be doing that.” The thing is most of you already know the answers, or can work it out yourselves, but there’s the fear of “I’m not good enough and need to keep seeing what others think I should do.”
For those intermediate and advanced guys. You know the theory, you understand how this works, and anything you don’t know you understand how to figure it out and learn from yourself. Here it is finally plain as day, do exactly that. Be your own guru already. Socially experiment and stop doing what you think you SHOULD do or is NEEDED and instead begin doing what YOU feel is right and make your own assumptions on things. This doesn’t mean forget about ideas and material out there that can help though, instead learn to appreciate it on a much more meaningful level. Instead of it being something for you to shape yourself to, it can now become something that you may or may not incorporate into your own individual style.
I’m not going to tell you what needs to be done, or the next best thing for your game, or even a new method that you have to learn…how about you tell me instead?
Hope this helps guys,
-Psych
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Money post J.
Because part of being Alpha is not caring what other people think and doing whatever shit you what to do on the fly.
meh
thats questionable. because no one can really do what they want in every context.
and its very easy to TALK about being alpha
but when one gets into the field its a whole different story.
Great post Psych…
i went to the puatraining bootcamp and it sucked to be honest.
out of like 12 guys or something
1 got a k-close
2 got a n close
ive yet to be impressed.
and the seminars were pretty boring and unimpressive.
comes to show that you have to get girls in the first place to get girls.
and what sort of name is puatraining anyway.
and i think puatraining bootcamps are all talk no results and the statistics of like 70% of guys getting k closes is just some lie / NLP suggestion to influence the group or something like that,
yeh man i totally agree with yawn.
how many psychologists and people who do these seminars teach these spiritual stuff because they are nuts themselves? so they learn these things to cope?
most seminars are pretty ridiculous once you really work it out.
at first its like OOOHH!! if i fgo to seminars this and that is going to happen!! yay!!
then one realises that not really.
Awesome post Psych, it’s bang on the mark and is totally the same conclusion I came to recently.
If anyone is interested in my take on this I posted about it here: http://dexterity-casualgamer.blogspot.com/?zx=1bcd12474e861e19
though bootcamps are good money though
£700 X 10 = 7,000
Rental for room probably like 200 or 300 or something.
remarkable con artistry.
isnt it self justification in a way? YEH IM MAKING so much change for people! when the only thing that changes is the amount of money they have in their bank accounts!
Being quite a critic of PUA’s, I have to say this is the first non-delusional post on this blog. In a nutshell Psych says guys should do their own thing, whatever makes them comfortable. It also explains what a scam the whole PUA training system is. NO ONE I repeat NO ONE can teach another person to become a PUA. It must come from within you, only you can make the change to your life not some wannabe PUA trying to teach you for x pounds per hour
WELL SAID MAN… I WENT THROUGH THE SAME PHASE, NOW A LITTLE OLDER AND MORE MATURE I REALISE THAT ACTUALLY MOST PUA’S ARE LOSERS, IN FACT MOST PEOPLE ARE LOSERS COMPARED TO ME. tHERE IS SOME USEFUL STUFF OUT THERE BUT TO BE HONEST 90% OF IT ALL IS CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF WHICH IM AFRAID NOBODY CAN TEACH YOU AND HAS TO COME FROM WITHIN. HOWEVER, I WOULD NOT HAVE COME TO THIS CONCLUSION WITHOUT PUA TRAINING AS ON THEIR BOOTCAMPS I REALISED THAT HALF THE TRAINERS LOOKED LIKE GEEKS AND ACTED LIKE GEEKS AND I REALISED THAT I AM ACTUALLY A COOLER PERSON.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE BEEN ON HERE IN A MONTH AND EVEN THEN THAT WAS A FIRST IN AGES, COMPARED TO EVERY WEEK WHEN I WAS INSECURE….REALLY REALLY REALLY GUYS TAKE PUA AS EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE WITH A PINCH OF SALT AND WORK OUT WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU BY PRACTICING…MAYBE ITS A STAGE YOU JUST HAVE TO GO THROUGH LIKE PSYCH SAID…ANYWAY ADIOS, NOT REALLY A POSTER,BUT FELT IT WAS MY DUTY TO EXPLAIN THIS TO ANY GUY OUT THERE WHO WAS AS INSECURE AS I WAS – - – WAKE UP!
THANKS FOR READING DISSERTATION – STAY TRUE TO U!
Its very worthy to read this post. really very nice i enjoy it very much.
@Dexterity— I am going to check this link. I know it will be interesting and useful.
Hi,
It is really nice post with have a good article related to this nice post.keep it up this nice sharing…
PUA training, might not MAKE YOU a PUA but it slaps you across the face and tells you to wake up, grow some balls and get out there to sarge… its good stuff to get you started.
+P
PUA training, might not MAKE YOU a PUA but it slaps you across the face with the eye-opening material and tells you that you need to wake up, grow some balls and get out there to sarge… its good stuff to get you started.
+P
its a curious phenomenon.
because i think after a certain people like OMFG U CANT MAKE MISTAKES LOLZ!
and like its always the people who do the same things over and over again that have smirks on their stupid faces when other people fail or do mistakes. but mistakes are incredible teachers.
its easy to never fail if you do the same thing over and over again.
but when it comes to psychologyand psychiatry its a pretty terrifying place to have an ‘issue’ in because no one has a clue what to do really.
and most psychiatrists tend to use their eccentric clients as means to validate themselves and how ’superior’ they are to them. becuase with a context there is a means to compare and it undoubtable must feel delicious!
so far all the ‘professionals’ ive come across in such professions have been rather questionable.
they seem to look for ways to validate themselves over their clients to make them feel good about themselves.
and salvation comes from being a ready-made with a pseudo-mental problem because such people are more agreeable and would undoubtably garner most respect for their normalcy but wouldnt be treat well for their non existant pseudo problem.
but what do i know!!11
*would be treated well
Thanks for the post Psyche. Helps put pay to a couple of mental conflicts I had about different trainers etc.
As for the comments I see.
I went to one of the bootcamps.
Nobody made any grand claims about what we were all going to be able to achieve.
The trainers just pushed me enough to show me what I could do if I were to pop out of my shell for 5 minutes.
People somehow thinking they are gonna do a bootcamp and come out the otherside amazing just arent being realistic.
I couldn’t agree more, at one time I was so paralyzed with over analysis that I wouldn’t approach a single girl in a night. I’d just stand with a drink in my hand trying to figure out how to approach a set over the shoulder. Once I let myself go and started just doing it and not over thinking my success skyrocketed. Knowing is one thing but doing will make you a success. Great stuff.
i swear though..
i could be chasing dreams forever. and im going through like a million painful experiences.
but i guess if one went through such a screwed up upbringing as i had and are now going out and trying to become adjusted it is to be expected.
I think you are doing well to share such worthy thoughts. these are really very helpful in our help.
i swear what i have to go through is very disagreeable. but so be it.
i think what im learning now is what i shouldve learnt when i was like 11 so meh.
people have overcome these things (i think). and emerged greater because of it.
and because my situation was worse than most people’s i will undoubtly learn deeper lessons because of it.
next step for me.
2 start stacking dem chipz.
and also.
when one ‘progresses’ one encounters ’social control’ stabilising functions where poeple are like OMFG!!!!!! and read into one’s changes in super dramatic way to stabilise the social system.
i noticed this years ago. in school when i made some improvement in confidence people went out of their way to shoot my down. so nto every negative response from people should be taken ultra seriously.
but they didnt know they were doing it. and everyone does it to each other without really knowing it.
i guess its all about keeping goign and getting used to it until the issues dissipate and no longer serve their defensive function.
but still
to have psychological issues are the most terrifying type of issues to have. because being cured and being sick are so ambigious and vague.
and people tend to capitalise and take advantage of such limitations to validate themselves.
i swear the problems i have been facing in my ‘progression’ have been utterly brutal. and i hafve to face up to these fears OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. fears that make me want to puke type fears.