Guys check out part two of the NLP Ben interview series. Enjoy!
you can see part 1 here
If you like working on inner game, check out our upcoming NLP weekend in London here.
and if you’d like to qualify as an NLP practitioner, get in touch with Ben by email: info@nlpcreations.com
Part 3 is my fave, look out for it in the next days.
Sexual Escalation
Hey all :-)
I was thinking about what I could cover for this blog and something that kept coming up and that was a common problem is a lot of guys end up getting themselves into the friend zone or they become the gay best friend. If this is a common problem you find yourself getting into then it isn’t all bad as we know where you are getting stuck. To get into the friend zone you need to be good at all the first steps of the ladder towards our end goal which is sex. We just need to be able to now push it to the next level and sexually escalate. So here we go here are my tips on sexual escalation.
Sexually escalation should start from the beginning of the interaction keeping in mind it is an escalation of events rather than hey I am Darren and I am touching your pussy. We need to build this all up slowly and smoothly. We start with the opener and kino the target. This first bit of kino will be in a none-threatening area where people are used to being touched for example the arm. This first bit of kino should be short and hardly recognizable. As the interaction goes on we increase the kino gradually increasing. If she starts to pull away or looks uncomfortable just take a step back and build more comfort. As we increase kino we should be able to get away with hugging, holding hands and placing the hand on the tops of her legs. When we get to the top of the ladder and we are ready to go for the kiss we can push their hair away from their ears as we talk to them gently in their ear. Women are very sensitive around the ears and when touched gently, breathed in or gently spoke in women can get very aroused. This is a good method to use before going for the K-close. If she allows you that close to her face she is comfortable with you enough to probably go for the K-close.
When you feel it is time to go for the first kiss don’t pussy foot around the area you need to go for it. May main way of getting K-closes is holding strong eye contact throughout the interaction. When holding the eye you need to look away sometimes or you will look like a vampire who wants to suck her blood. Guys who stare to long can come across needy and sexually frustrated. Hold the eye contact and move your eyes to her lips as she talks. When holding eye contact and talking to her move in and out gently as if you are going to go for the kiss then move back and carry on talking. I find this the most effective method out of all the methods I have used to the point of girls actually jumping in for the kiss with me. If a girl rejects are first attempt for a kiss don’t panic, don’t even acknowledge it happened. Just carry on talking build more comfort and go for it again. Women like to test us in as many ways possible and this is one way. When we go for the kiss we need to slow our words down and talk more gently as well otherwise it will seem out of character.
Verbalizing sex is also very powerful as when we talk about sex with women she will start to picture doing it on us. Good ways of starting a sexual conversation are asking a girl her biggest fantasies or her biggest turn on’s. When I discuss sex I will talk about it with a cheeky smile and will even tilt my head to make me look more non-threatening.
Top Five Tips
1. Escalation starts from the beginning so start Kinoing straight away
2. If anything feels uncomfortable take a step back and build more comfort
3. Hold eye contact
4. Don’t be afraid to talk about sex
5. Lead
I hope this may be of some help for some of you guys with some of your sticking points. This is a brief summary as sexual escalation is such a massive subject. In the near future I will be posting some videos on specific sub topics to do with sexual escalation.
Any questions or things to add please don’t hesitate to leave a comment. Till next time, thanks guys.
Keep the faith
‘defeat is a state of mind. No one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality. To me, defeat in anything is merely temporary and its punishment is but an urge for me to greater effort to achieve my goal. Defeat simply tells me that something is wrong in my doing; it is a path leading to success and truth.’ Bruce Lee
A state of mind that I have been applying to my life recently is be the flame not the moth. Now what I mean by that is whatever it is you desire, attract it you to. Be the blaze, be the glow, be the radiance. Always assume ATTRACTION. Some of the traits to this power are as follows:
Love – have love for yourself. Keep filling yourself with this one simple but magnificent energy. Because when you have love for yourself your also able to offer it to others.
“To be loved you have to be worth loving’ Casanova
Acceptance – be true and honest with yourself. We all have our own unique qualities that make us who we are. Don’t get stuck on what you don’t have, instead be aware of what you do have and use those qualities as a tool to your advantage. If your shy be shy, if your outgoing be outgoing.
Imagine who you want to become – why?, what are those new qualities? I desire to be someone who inspires, provokes, heals, protects, has no regrets. The list goes on and on simply because I evolve. Now understand guys you can become that man anytime you want in this instance, you just have to make the choice. What are you waiting for?
Believe – if you don’t believe your enough, if you cant believe you can be enough, you never will.
Positive thinking – positivity breeds positivity. Simple as that. Always find the good in a situation. Turn the obstacles you may face into opportunities to show your true power and strength.
Abundance – there is always enough! If it doesn’t work out with one girl, there is another coming around the corner. (possibly reason it didn’t work out, the timing wasn’t right e.g. she may have just broken up with bf, been hit on 10 times already etc)
FUN - speaks for itself, enjoy everything.
Now I believe this can be applied to all areas of life, try it out and see what happens. Now in terms of women think of who and how you would like to be with them. For me I remember I wanted to come across as smooth, honest, and unexpected.
How about you?
Ashley Shaw
Peace, Love and Joy
