Archive for September, 2010

Attraction has been broken down over the past few years and can be taught/practiced at any level. Whether you’re new to game or sleeping with four girls a day, qualification will be the majority of your game. Entire books could be written about defining qualification but this article will focus on creating a list of qualifications for the perfect girl and why qualifying from this list will act as leverage resulting in levels of attraction like never before.

The List

An easy way to elevate your game to the next level is creating a list of the qualities found in your perfect/ideal girl. The list should include both physical and non-physical characteristics. The more detail you include in the list, the better. Everything from height to the shade of her teeth to the way she laughs or even acts at the dinner table. We will be actively qualifying from the non-physical list avoiding qualifying from the physical list for the most part. We created the physical list because it helps to have a solid idea of what we are looking for in a girls looks so we don’t waste time in field. This list will be constantly evolving and changing as we learn about yourselves and your tastes. This list should be readily available in your memory and used in the field in every conversation.

Higher Value

In all conversations there is a battle of frame and value. Those who have higher value qualify those around them to see if they math the qualities they are looking for in others. By qualifying, you have already increased your value and as an added bonus, you are now giving girls reasons why you like them other than their looks.

Genuine

Because we have taken the time to create our list of qualities, when we qualify, it will be more genuine. THIS IS MASSIVELY IMPORTANT! By being genuine instead of qualifying on things you don’t care about (i.e. adventurous) this will massively lever the amount of attraction received. Because you are being genuine, you qualifications will come across much stronger and clearer as the girls can sense this.

Knowing What You Want

Most guys have no idea what they look for in a girl, this can really hurt you down the road, especially if you reach the point where you have many optionsJ. Knowing what you want will lever your value and put you miles ahead of the other guys. Girls are attracted to alphas and one of these qualities is knowing what you want. By qualifying from your list, all this will be conveyed and your attraction level will be through the roof.

Not Wasting Time

Because we know what we want, we can quickly move past those that do not meet our standards. It is important to be friendly with everyone for social proof purposes and the possibility of hot friends but we won’t be spending the majority of our night learning about this girl. Also, by having standards and not hooking up with every girl, your value will increase.

Reference

If you are qualifying a girl and you run out of things to say, you can simply reference your qualification list and incorporate one of the qualities you are looking for into conversation.

Target – Goal – Situation

For both beginners and the more advanced, it is important to pick a target and then decide what you are trying to accomplish considering logistics. i.e. we will probably being going for number closes on the tube at 9am on Sunday instead of a 3 minute lay, but don’t rule that possibility out! For the more advanced, you can use qualifying frames and certain qualification questions to find a girl that satisfies your immediate or long term goals. This is another article all together.

Summary

If you change nothing else about your game expect creating a list and qualifying from it, you attraction and close rate will reach all time highs. Also, it is important to update the list as you grow and learn more about yourself.

Imagine you have just closed the two hottest girls in the bar to meet you the following night at a club. Two of your wings watched in awe as both girls were fighting for your attention and begging to see you again. The set seemed to go perfectly, something that seems to only happen a few times in any PUA’s life, you were on fire! Feeling on top of the world, you treat your wings to a drink and call it an early night to be well rested for your meet up with the two girls.

After using text game to confirm your logistics with the two girls, you go through your traditional pre-game ritual and call your wing to tell him how excited you are. Next comes the moment of truth. You arrive at the club 15 minutes before the girls arrive but there’s a problem. There is a queue around the block and it doesn’t seem to be moving anytime soon. Luckily, you remember a friend mentioning how he had once showed up to a club with two girls and he was permitted to skip the queue. With some quick thinking, you decide to use this as your game plan. The girls arrive and are genuinely excited to see you; the only problem is the doorman appears to be even more excited to see them. The doorman invites the girls to skip the queue and you follow only to be told you’ll have to wait in the queue and pay a $40 dollar cover! The girls disappear and leave you with nothing more than an apology text and a disappointing night.

My goal with this article is to ensure you never end up in this situation and to reduce any potential logistical problems. It’s amazing how your ability to close girls will skyrocket when logistics are in your favor. It all starts with good venue selection.

The first and most important principle when picking a good venue is logistics. Even if you have the best game in the world, without logistics in your favor, it will be physically impossible to close any girl. The easiest way to successfully close a girl is to bounce to another location and isolate. This means your main consideration when picking a venue should be how close the venue is to a place where you can isolate the girl and close her. The closer you are to your close location, the better your chances are of being successfully. This principle applies to both game venues and date locations.

Whether you are an AFC or an MPUA, you may find it difficult to convince a girl to join you at your apartment or hotel room if you have just met her. A simple way to improve your odds is to bounce a girl to an intermediate location before bouncing to your close location. Another bar, restaurant or park are all great examples are great examples of an intermediate bounce. Even the most experienced and well know MPUA’s will bounce a girl to an intermediate location before isolating to a close location.

The second principle when picking a good venue is social proof. It is common pickup knowledge that having social proof, in our case people reacting positively towards you and making an effort to get your attention, increases your perceived attractiveness. A great example of this is the host of a party. Everyone knows him/her and fights for their attention. People will subconsciously notice this and be drawn in. When picking a good venue, you must take this into consideration.

The easiest way to build social proof in a venue is to go often and befriend the staff. By going to the same venue consistently, an example being at Tiger Bar every Friday night, your chances of befriending the staff and becoming a regular increase with each visit. Befriending the staff and being a regular means you will always have social proof in that venue and you may even get a free drink here or there. In the example at the beginning of the article, the unlucky PUA had never been to the nightclub before and was therefore left out. Had the PUA gone to that venue every Friday for the past year, he assuredly would be welcomed in because the bouncers would know him as a regular and he would have a great night with the two girls.

The third principle when picking a good venue is picking a venue that attracts the type of girls you’re already interested in. For example, it makes more sense to look for girls interested in hip-hop music in a hip-hop club than in a coffee shop. By increasing your exposure to the type of girl you’re interested in, you significantly improve your chances of finding the girl or girls of your dreams.

If you follow the 3 principles on how to pick a good venue, your results will improve immediately. To improve things even further, we can follow a few sub-principles.

The first sub-principle when picking a good venue, specifically a night game venue or party, is getting to the venue early. Regardless of what venue you choose, arriving early will improve the odds in your favor. Arriving early will allow you to build some social proof, get a better feel for the venue, approach more easily and spend more time with your desired target. A very important principle in game is the more time you spend with a girl, the better your chances are of closing her that night or seeing her again. If your goal is to sleep with a girl, spending 2 hours with 1 girl is more effective than spending 10 minutes with 12 different girls. Getting to the venue early will allow you plenty of time to find a set that interests you and then still have time left to run some solid game.

The second sub-principle when picking a good venue is to find a venue with more women than men. Without doing anything differently, selecting a venue with more women than men will instantly improve your chances of success. Additionally, you will run into fewer AMOG’s, which can be especially helpful for newer PUA’s.

By considering logistics, using social proof and picking a venue that attracts the type of girls you’re interested in, you’ve improved your chances without even speaking to a girl. To further improve your chances, arrive at the venue early and select a venue that tends to attract more women than men. Once you’ve selected a good venue, game as normal and enjoy the rewards!

“Just be yourself” the most common and misunderstood dating advice since the beginning of modern man. Everyone says it but no one understands it. This article will define “being yourself” and help you capitalize on what you already have.

Just be yourself is actually great advice but no one understands what it actually means. Being yourself means having your own opinions and not changing your beliefs, attitudes, actions and opinions to please others. Having an opinion, being proud of yourself and sharing your views with the world is an attractive quality that when missing will result in a lonely life.

Anytime you change your opinion to conform to others likes, you become less attractive. While it is true that sharing things in common with another person is a great way to start any form of relationship, agreeing for the sake of agreeing will only make you weaker in your mind and in her eyes. People are attracted to others because they add new elements into each other’s lives, not because they agree with everything they say.

Imagine you have a friend that follows you everywhere you go and simply agrees with everything you say adding nothing new into the conversation. While this may be validating at first, the “yes man” will quickly become annoying and eventually be viewed as a burden. There will be no reason to share your opinion with the “yes man” because he will just repeat your likes/dislikes back to you.

A person capable of “being himself” will have opinions and share them with others. He won’t force his opinions on to others but he will share them and be viewed as unique. It is far to common that upon first interaction and even after years of dating that men think pleasing a girl in everyway possible and agreeing with everything she says and wants to do will make her more attracted to them.

Example of what not to do:

Guy: I really like tiger bar, the parties are great there! Have you ever been?

Girl: I have but I don’t like tiger bar, I think it smells funny

Guy: Yeah, your right, tiger bar isn’t that good.

Many relationships end because a man will constantly try to make a girl happy by agreeing with her and doing what she wants. The girl originally liked the guy because he was a unique person and had his own opinions but when he begins to constantly try to please her and agree with her, he becomes like the “yes man” no longer adding any value into the girl’s life. He went from being a unique person that the girl ALREADY liked to a person he thought the girl would like more when in reality he is encouraging her to find someone new.

If you shouldn’t agree with everything the other person says, should you disagree with everything the other person says?

The answer is simply no. By disagreeing with everything someone says, you will find it very difficult to build commonalities and thus near impossible to build even friendship. It is important to have a mix of agreement and disagreement. The easiest way to determine when to agree and disagree is by simply stating your actually opinion on the matter. Something to keep in mind, when doing this, you wont click with every girl you meet but that is a good thing. You will be able to eliminate the ones you have nothing in common with and build a stronger and more genuine relationship with those that share more similar views.

Robert Kurzban conducted a study of speed dating to determine whether, complete agreement, complete disagreement or disagree during the first half of the date and agreeing on the second half resulted in the greatest success. The results found that disagreeing during the first half of the date and agreeing during the second half of the date produced a near perfect success. This result can be recreated by having your own opinions and agreeing when you actually agree and disagreeing when your views differ.

Example of what to do:

Girl: Pizza is my favorite food

Guy: Pizza has never really done it for me. It doesn’t even come close to comparing with a steak.

Girl: Pizza is by far the best! Do you like hot chocolate?

Guy: OMG, hot chocolate is amazing! There’s nothing better than a cup of hot chocolate on a cold day to warm you up and make you smile.

When you “just be yourself”, people will respect you for it as opposed to becoming bored when you try to agree with the other person at every possible opportunity. When you can truly be yourself, you will achieve amazing results with minimal effort.