Archive for October, 2010

Hi guys, apologies for the wait, however I have been very busy working on some projects that you will really benefit from.

I did manage to find 15 minutes to record a quick guide on some simple dance steps for guys that find it a little harder to be free and expressive on the dance floor, or for those that want a low key way to get the right kind of attention.

As always, there is no replacement for just going out and making sure that you are having the most fun on the dance floor, but this should help you find a rhythm, get used to the attention and get you results instantly!

It really is that easy guys, just try them out in front of the mirror for 10 minutes then you will have everything you need to effortlessly become the highest value guy on the dance floor. Just remember to have fun and SMILE! :D

I will make a video detailing the basics on forcing IOI’s as soon as possible, until then, have a go at these steps until you are comfortable with them, make your own variations, then go and dominate the dance floor!

Any questions or stories just let me know below :)

Hey guys

Today I want to talk about making changes in your life. Every day I work with people helping them to change their pattern behaviours to therefore get different results. Recently I have been doing a lot of work on myself and starting to see real results. I hope that you take from this blog some helpful tips that you can incorporate into your own life.

For the last few weeks I have been feeling rather sorry for myself, to the point where I had to make some changes in my life. I wear contact lenses (the type you sleep in) and a few weeks ago I got a really bad eye infection that was not only painful but it really restricted my sight. It started one morning as I woke up, it felt like someone was pushing their thumb into my eye and it was watering like crazy. I put up with it for a day thinking it was hay fever and stocked up on sprays and drops. By the next morning it looked like I had been punched by Mike Tyson so I guessed I better get it looked it.

I went to my local opticians as it is only round the corner from where I live. They said that I had to immediately go to the eye hospital and gave me a letter of referral. By this time it was 11am and I was concerned because I was due to catch a train to Chichester to attend a neurology workshop the next day. I asked if I could put it off until I got back, it was a firm “no”.

So barely being able to see I packed my bags and went to the hospital, thinking it would be quicker to just get the train after the hospital visit. I then had to get myself from North London to Old Street via the tube. It was bloody difficult, trying to navigate the tube without being able to properly see. By asking a lot of people and squinting (I stupidly have not got a pair of glasses) I managed to find the hospital and register at the desk. I was there for over 5 hours and I was given drops that I had to administer once an hour, 24 hours a day!

By this time I had missed my train, I was down in the dumps and could hardly make out the world around me. Although I only had an infection in my left eye, my right eye was being “sympathetic” and was too extremely sensitive to light. My eyes were in fact so sensitive to light I couldn’t even look at my laptop screen or TV!

I sat outside the hospital thinking what to do. I had a hotel booked and was due to attend the course the next morning, not only that I had to teach on a PUA Training bootcamp that weekend too. I made the decision to go home and feel sorry for myself. I then saw out of my blurry eyes several people with horrific injuries to their eyes and face coming into accident and emergency and it really put my issue into perspective. So I had a little word with myself, I said “Matt, stop being a little bitch and go to Chichester”. I stopped being a little bitch and I went.

I took myself off to Victoria station and got the next train to Chichester. Although I had to pay 5 times the amount for the ticket than what I had already paid online, I was feeling rather pleased with myself. By the time I got to the hotel and checked in, I was positively brimming with confidence and in a good mood. I treated myself to a curry and then went to bother the barmaids in a local pub near where I was staying. The course went well and I came back to London knowing that by going I had gained so much more than just staying at home and moaning about how unfair life was.

Although I was unable to see, I dragged my sorry ass down to the PUA Training bootcamp. I give a 2 hour talk on Sunday mornings, I have not missed a single bootcamp in over 18 months and I was not going to start now.

My phone alarm was set to go off every hour, day and night, to put the drops in. After a few days I had a realisation ‘where does all the time go?’ Every hour my phone would beep, I put in the drops and I also thought to myself “what have I actually done in the last hour?” I began to realise just how precious time was and then something even weirder happened. I passed a hotel on my way home and it was advertising for Christmas booking. I checked my phone and realised we are in the 10^th month of the year, how to heck did that happen? I am sure it was only Christmas a couple of months ago! It certainly feels like it anyway.

One major excuse I get from my clients is that they do not have the time to make changes, or that it isn’t the right time for them. From being so conscious about time flying by I firmly believe that there is never a right time to start something, in fact when you think it is a bad time it is probably the best time.

Over the following three weeks I had to go to hospital 7 times, with more visits planned. My eye infection was actually quite serious and for some reason all the drops they gave me didn’t work as expected. Thankfully now my eye is 90% better and I can use my laptop again without wearing sunglasses. Over the last 3 weeks I have also been accessing my life, goals and what it is I really want to do and how to make changes. The course that I attended in Chichester focused a lot of how the brain works in relation to pattern behaviour and how to make real world changes. Over this period I decided that I am going to take firm action on something that I have toyed with for several years but never actually achieved the results I wanted. The thing I started to really address was my weight.

I believe that we all have one big thing we would like to change in our life, it is our big excuse to why we have not done as well as we could have. We become addicted to our excuses as it makes us feel better about not achieving our goals, it gives us something to blame. I hope that by reading this post it might start to give you a bit of motivation towards making changes in your life and starting to tackle your big challenge in life.

So first things first. Before I started to tackle the problem I needed to find out where I was. It is pointless making a goal if you don’t know where you are starting from. For the first time in a long time I stood on the scales, took a deep breath and looked down. It was not good. I then went online and checked the NHS height and weight chart and literally had a heart attack when I saw what category I was in and what I should actually weigh. I called the doctor and made an appointment later that week to get a professional opinion of my weight and also what is a healthy amount to lose and at what rate.

The doctors appointment came and as I sat in his office he asked me what the problem was. I said that I have decided to finally get my weight under control and I wanted to know what shape I was in and the best way to go about it. He weighed and measured me and put all the info into his computer. He then told me something that cheered me up. He said that to get to my “ideal” weight as directed on the NHS chart would be “bloody crazy!”. He had an Italian accent and was rather camp so it made it all the more humorous. He told me that a realistic amount of weight to lose would be 12 KGs over 3 or so months, so basically by Christmas. He also wanted me to see his dietician to help me on my way.

After feeling much better after seeing the doctor I had my appointment with the dietician. We talked about the amount I wanted to lose and how to make lots of little changes in my diet. She said that for the next week or so, try not to make many changes but instead keep an honest food diary. She said once you start to record what you are eating, it is easy to see where the problems are and how to make changes.

When I work with clients I always tell them the advantages of keeping a diary and now it was my turn with food and drink. This is where the title of the post comes into play as I had to be accountable to myself. It is actually much harder and difficult than you may think. When we live our lives day to day we simply do not notice our patterns. When you have to write things down it makes a huge psychological difference.

I kept an honest food diary for a week, what I ate and drank and at what time. I also started to record what activities I was doing each day and how I was spending my time. After the week was up it was easy to see why I am over weight and where I need to make changes. I drank a lot more than I realised and it hadn’t been a particularly heavy week! I was eating rubbish convenient food and at the wrong times i.e. late at night. It also seemed that a lot of it was linked with drinking.

When you start writing down what you do you can really start to see your own patterns. You can then start to make real world tangible changes to what you are doing to make sure you get different results. Since I started with the weight loss effort, I have reduced my drinking, started to prepare more food at home and stopped eating so much junk. As a result I have lost 3kg which was confirmed by the dietician I have been seeing. Making small changes is the only way to make a large overall change.

Now that I have started to sort my diet out I am starting to focus on exercise. I am a member of a local gym, however it is a bit basic and also quite a walk from my house. There is an amazing gym 2 minutes from my house but is it very, very expensive. I see this as an investment in myself and I know that I will get value for money from it. I am actually joining this afternoon, now my previous membership has expired. I am having a professional program done for me, so again working with professionals.

Over the past few years I have worked with hundreds of clients and I have seen the changes they have made to get real results. I want to leave you with a few pointers to take away from this blog so you can start to implement changes in your life and start to achieve your goals.

Step 1

Work out what it is you actually want to do.

You have to make the goal tangible and measurable. For example I want to lose weight, this is very easy to measure. In game terms it could be to make a certain amount of approaches or even to improve your social life. If you want to work on your social life then make it specific, for example have a goal of going out 3 times a week, once with friends, once to an exhibition and once for a meal etc etc. Once you have a tangible goal you have something to measure.

Step 2

Make a real assessment of where you currently are.

If you do not know where you currently are, then you can not make plans to where you want to get to. I would start by keeping an honest diary or some other way of monitoring what you are currently doing. This will then be your starting point.

Step 3

Make mini goals

Once you know where you are and where you want to get to, break it down into mini goals. For example I want to lose 12 kgs, however this is broken down into monthly 3 kg goals. If you want to improve your game then you could make it a goal to open 5 girls a day. Remember the goals have to be tangible and measurable.

Step 4

Quit you whining and get to it!

If you make a realistic goal, work out where you are and then make steps towards it, then it is quite hard to actually fail.

I want to mention three really important points about making any changes in your life. Firstly is speed of implementation. Secondly is working with professionals. Thirdly is passion and motivation.

Speed of implementation. The longer you leave something, the less likely it will ever happen! Start working on this today. Not tomorrow, not next week, today! There is nothing worse than someone with a goal who constantly goes on about it yet takes no action.

Working with professionals is going to accelerate your progress. Yes, this is going to cost money. You have to decide if your life is worth it or not. When you pay for professional help, you get professional results.

Passion and motivation is something that always comes up with my clients. My advice is to do something for 2 months, without excuse, then we will talk about passion and motivation. Once you are involved with something and you are getting results, you develop passion and motivation. Wanting to have passion and motivation for something before you start is simply retarded.

I want to end on a really important point. You are 100% responsible for your life. Whether you achieve your goals in life or not, no one really cares! Stop making bullshit excuses and get on with it.

Matt Kendall a.k.a Hypnomatt

p.s. please feel free to ignore all the above advice and instead use the “Law of Attraction” or some other tree hugging hippy crap.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Does being good-looking matter?

Does having money matter?

Does having game even matter!?!?!?

These are the age-old questions that wars have been fought over.

This article sets out to answer these questions once and for all and is based on numerous conversations/musings with AFC Adam aka Adam Lyons.

Many will argue, especially old school routine based PUA’s, that looks, money and other qualities such as social status don’t have any impact on your ability to get the girl…..

Those who have yet to enter the matrix, the AFC’s of the world, would unanimously argue that looks, money and social status are the only determinants of whether you get the girl…..

Neither group can be completely right when defending opposing positions so do looks, money and status really matter when getting the girl?

I first want to tell you about where I came from to help lay a framework for my thinking and conclusions. I was very lucky to enter the game at a young age but this was only after years of struggling to understand why I never got the girl… Especially when the motivation behind 100% of my decisions and actions was to become what I perceived to be attractive to women.

At the time, I thought I had done everything right and that women should be throwing themselves at me, but that couldn’t be more far from the truth. Playing on the lacrosse team, head of my fraternity, part of the governing body of a 5000 person fraternity/sorority society, having perfect grades, and being told I was good looking, I would still go to bed alone every night (except in the luckiest of drunken debacles, which were few and far between), wondering what I was doing wrong. IT JUST DIDN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! It was painful and depressing. Then I discovered game…..

Now lets examine a guy who is down on his luck and has fallen through the cracks. Lets call him AFC. AFC has a menial job he hates, does not find himself attractive, can barely afford to take a girl on a date and has a bit of a belly from never having gone to the gym. As you guys may have guessed, he would also end up alone every night praying to find the answer.

How is it possible that two men on the opposite side of the spectrum still end up alone at night? And more importantly, how can this AFC find his way towards the light and get the girl of his dreams?

The answer is a combination of two things.

1. Attractive qualities
2. Game

Yes, it’s true, having things like looks, money and social status DO help but on their own, they are worthless! It is also true that having game helps BUT having game can only take you so far. In order to pull the girls from your dreams, the glorious 10’s, you must use a combination of attractive qualities and game!

So how exactly do attractive qualities and game work together and which is more important?

Everyone, whether you like it or not, has a score or a rating. In this article, we will use the 1-10 scale.

1 = AFC

10 = Brad Pitt

The 1-10 scale can work for or against you; it really depends where you land on the scale in relation to the girl you are trying to get.

Let’s take a look at Average Joe. Average Joe is a 5/10 in all areas of life. He is average looking, of average intelligence, has an average job and has average conversation skills. Average Joe, provided he doesn’t mess it up, should already be considered attractive to girls that are 1’s, 2’s, 3’s and 4’s on the scale (At least before he speaks).

If you’ve ever met a hot girl and she complains about how no one ever hits on her, what she is actually saying is that no one she views as equal or higher value ever hits on her. In reality every single guy she ever speaks to is hitting on her. YOU are in the exact same situation. Girls do hit on you, the only problem is, you are not interested in these girls because you view them as lower value.

With this understanding, it is proven that increasing your value or score on the scale will increase the quality of girls you get. The only problem with this is that you will still be getting girls of a lower quality than you “deserve” and want and your results will most likely be inconsistent. So whether you are a 2 or an 8, you still wont be happy with the quality and quantity of the girls you are getting because everyone wants to punch above their weight and get their dream girl. This is where game comes into play! J

Game is what allows all men from AFC to Pimp to pull higher quality girls with a high level of consistency. There’s only one catch….

No matter how amazing Average Joe’s game is, the odds of him pulling a genuine 10 are virtually non-existent. Game has a limitation on how much it will allow you to punch above your weight (and yes I agree, it is very sad!).

Realistically, when you first start to study game, you are most likely pulling girls below your weight. That’s right, if you’re an 8/10, your most likely getting 7’s and below even though you’re only interested in 9’s and 10’s. Once you obtain a decent understanding of game and conversation/social skills, you should expect to pull girls that are equal to you on the scale. (But this isn’t good enough, we want more!!!!!!)

Once you have a basic understanding of game, its time to start punching above your weight but what is realistic to expect? Having only a slight understanding of game will allow you to punch +1 above your weight. So in this case, Average Joe who is a 5/10 can now pull girls who are a 6/10. After you gain a solid understanding of game and put in the practice necessary, you can expect to punch +2 above your weight. When your friends consider you a master, you will be punching +3 above your weight.

To further put things into perspective, the very best PUA’s in the world can punch +4 above their weight but they most likely wont need it because while practicing game they have also focused on improving themselves and increasing their base value.

To summarize, game allows you to punch above your weight and get the girls of your dreams but it is also essential that you focus on improving yourself and improving your base value to reach full potential. The more you practice game, the more you will be able to punch above your weight but don’t forget to focus on improving yourself by doing things like going to the gym, getting a better degree and taking care of yourself.

-Alexander Prime