Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Does being good-looking matter?
Does having money matter?
Does having game even matter!?!?!?
These are the age-old questions that wars have been fought over.
This article sets out to answer these questions once and for all and is based on numerous conversations/musings with AFC Adam aka Adam Lyons.
Many will argue, especially old school routine based PUA’s, that looks, money and other qualities such as social status don’t have any impact on your ability to get the girl…..
Those who have yet to enter the matrix, the AFC’s of the world, would unanimously argue that looks, money and social status are the only determinants of whether you get the girl…..
Neither group can be completely right when defending opposing positions so do looks, money and status really matter when getting the girl?
I first want to tell you about where I came from to help lay a framework for my thinking and conclusions. I was very lucky to enter the game at a young age but this was only after years of struggling to understand why I never got the girl… Especially when the motivation behind 100% of my decisions and actions was to become what I perceived to be attractive to women.
At the time, I thought I had done everything right and that women should be throwing themselves at me, but that couldn’t be more far from the truth. Playing on the lacrosse team, head of my fraternity, part of the governing body of a 5000 person fraternity/sorority society, having perfect grades, and being told I was good looking, I would still go to bed alone every night (except in the luckiest of drunken debacles, which were few and far between), wondering what I was doing wrong. IT JUST DIDN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! It was painful and depressing. Then I discovered game…..
Now lets examine a guy who is down on his luck and has fallen through the cracks. Lets call him AFC. AFC has a menial job he hates, does not find himself attractive, can barely afford to take a girl on a date and has a bit of a belly from never having gone to the gym. As you guys may have guessed, he would also end up alone every night praying to find the answer.
How is it possible that two men on the opposite side of the spectrum still end up alone at night? And more importantly, how can this AFC find his way towards the light and get the girl of his dreams?
The answer is a combination of two things.
- Attractive qualities
- Game
Yes, it’s true, having things like looks, money and social status DO help but on their own, they are worthless! It is also true that having game helps BUT having game can only take you so far. In order to pull the girls from your dreams, the glorious 10’s, you must use a combination of attractive qualities and game!
So how exactly do attractive qualities and game work together and which is more important?
Everyone, whether you like it or not, has a score or a rating. In this article, we will use the 1-10 scale.
1 = AFC
10 = Brad Pitt
The 1-10 scale can work for or against you; it really depends where you land on the scale in relation to the girl you are trying to get.
Let’s take a look at Average Joe. Average Joe is a 5/10 in all areas of life. He is average looking, of average intelligence, has an average job and has average conversation skills. Average Joe, provided he doesn’t mess it up, should already be considered attractive to girls that are 1’s, 2’s, 3’s and 4’s on the scale (At least before he speaks).
If you’ve ever met a hot girl and she complains about how no one ever hits on her, what she is actually saying is that no one she views as equal or higher value ever hits on her. In reality every single guy she ever speaks to is hitting on her. YOU are in the exact same situation. Girls do hit on you, the only problem is, you are not interested in these girls because you view them as lower value.
With this understanding, it is proven that increasing your value or score on the scale will increase the quality of girls you get. The only problem with this is that you will still be getting girls of a lower quality than you “deserve” and want and your results will most likely be inconsistent. So whether you are a 2 or an 8, you still wont be happy with the quality and quantity of the girls you are getting because everyone wants to punch above their weight and get their dream girl. This is where game comes into play! J
Game is what allows all men from AFC to Pimp to pull higher quality girls with a high level of consistency. There’s only one catch….
No matter how amazing Average Joe’s game is, the odds of him pulling a genuine 10 are virtually non-existent. Game has a limitation on how much it will allow you to punch above your weight (and yes I agree, it is very sad!).
Realistically, when you first start to study game, you are most likely pulling girls below your weight. That’s right, if you’re an 8/10, your most likely getting 7’s and below even though you’re only interested in 9’s and 10’s. Once you obtain a decent understanding of game and conversation/social skills, you should expect to pull girls that are equal to you on the scale. (But this isn’t good enough, we want more!!!!!!)
Once you have a basic understanding of game, its time to start punching above your weight but what is realistic to expect? Having only a slight understanding of game will allow you to punch +1 above your weight. So in this case, Average Joe who is a 5/10 can now pull girls who are a 6/10. After you gain a solid understanding of game and put in the practice necessary, you can expect to punch +2 above your weight. When your friends consider you a master, you will be punching +3 above your weight.
To further put things into perspective, the very best PUA’s in the world can punch +4 above their weight but they most likely wont need it because while practicing game they have also focused on improving themselves and increasing their base value.
To summarize, game allows you to punch above your weight and get the girls of your dreams but it is also essential that you focus on improving yourself and improving your base value to reach full potential. The more you practice game, the more you will be able to punch above your weight but don’t forget to focus on improving yourself by doing things like going to the gym, getting a better degree and taking care of yourself.
-Alexander Prime
If i read this post a year ago, i would have agreed with 100% of what was written.
However, what i’ve since come to realise is that ‘value’ in itself is relative… What one person may value may not be of value to someone else, so the idea to increase your value to a girl you want, is absolutely ridiculous. The reason why is because you’re coming from a frame where you’re lower value than the girl you’re trying to attract and that the girl in question is on a pedestal much higher than you are…
This needs far from Game and attractive qualities… This needs a ‘slap on the face’ in order to wake a person up.
Any person who thinks they need to raise their value to be considered more attractive misses the point.
It’s not whether they see you valuable, it’s whether you’re able to see value in yourself. If you honestly see yourself a 5/10, than that’s what you’ll be valued as… If on the other hand, you see yourself as a 10/10 then that’s again in essence how people will see you.
Money, looks, cars, houses, friends, social status has got nothing to do with you or your value. So whether you have it or not should not make a difference to your value. Understand that a poor person is a 10 as much as a person who’s successful.
If you understand that you’re a 10 regardless, but acknowledge your weaknesses and thus have the ambition to improve, then you will start to realise that your improvement isn’t as a result of anyone else, but you… You are the one that determines your own value, not anyone else…
Understanding this, then you will end up finding your perfect girl, realising that any girl that doesn’t like who you are (Assuming you love yourself and your life) isn’t the girl you’re looking for.