In case you haven’t noticed the constant Mariah Carey songs, specials on TV and Mrs. Claus outfits popping up in Anne Summers- it’s Christmas. The time of year for pulling at parties… and then sending drunken texts after one too many mulled wines.
Having received (and sent) some seriously ropey texts whilst under the influence in the past; I’m gonna take five minutes out from my Xmas-gaming activities to write a few guidelines on how to get a day two after that mistletoe fuelled make out session.
1. Avoid the appearance of being drunk: Misspelled words, late night phone beeps, and texts that don’t make sense all make you appear out of control. There is a fine line between a spur of the moment text on a night out and losing your inhibitions completely by sending a bunch of texts in a row to someone who you would normally think twice about contacting. Often alcohol makes us over invest as we text and say more than we would under normal circumstances. This isn’t often a good thing: being super drunk doesn’t look too great, nor does five texts in a row at about 3am. So next time you want to reach for your phone after a B52 think again. Focus on enjoying the night out that you’re on, being with your friends and don’t think about ‘that girl’ who you want to contact, until the next morning when you can send her a sober night telling her about all the fun you had the night before:
2. Use nicknames to make her remember you without you having to ask:
Is nearly as low value as it gets. It implies that she will have forgotten you (when you should come from a place of feeling unforgettable); and doesn’t even help her remember you by giving her your name. If there has been a gap between you meeting a girl and sending her a text, or if you met under pretty drunken circumstances, then just nickname your texts instead:
3. Never sound apologetic: This is why it’s important to avoid drunken, bad texts if possible as you then may have to back track the next day after sending them- and grovelling texts are never cool! Also avoid seeming uncertain of whether the date is going to happen with texts like these:
4. Instead seem certain that the day two is on: To do this use imperative, commanding, powerful language to imply that it’s on and that it’s a given that she’s going to meet up with you:
5. Use exciting vocabulary rather than logistics to get her hooked:
This isn’t erotic it just gives details of where to meet, whilst forgetting to incentivise why she should be interested in coming. A quick tip to make your texts more exciting is to use exciting vocabulary when talking about your date. Skip words like ‘nice’ when describing your experience, and date suggestions. Instead go for awesome, intriguing, amazing etc:
Anyway time to get back to arranging my own day twos. Have a great Christmas- I hope Santa brings everyone plenty of HBs.
Brilliant post.
Really enjoyed the straight forwardness of what works and what doesn’t. I think too many people miss that.
Anywho would you be able to do a follow up post on what exactly would be great to say via texts, though these are great examples, personally I do like to have something to compare to so I know I’m on the right way.
Thanks
seb.
Elements of Game
Hey Hayley, loving the posts, thanks for all the advice!
Text game is something I’m really trying to improve but I wondered if I can ask you a question:
I really struggle leading a girl because I feel really rude if I’m not giving her a choice about what to do, or asking her opinion.
e.g. If I say “lets go to the cinema then we can get something to eat here afterwards” Am I just being boring, or do women see it as being arrogant and uncaring?
Thanks!
Mike
Hey Mike
I actually prefer it when a guy has a plan. Particularly if I’m slightly indifferent to the date itself me having to organise it may put me off. That’s just my personal opinion though! What I would say is try to lead, but pick to do something you think she’d be into to do- you want to make it appealing to her. You can always negotiate (a bit) and as you get to know her better arranging dates will probably become more diplomatic. But as a first day two I’d say take the initiative and the ‘masculine’ role of deciding on a plan.
I know this whole text game thing is a huge subject area though so I’ll try and blog again soon on it
Best
HQ X
hey Haley. I’m 16 years old. there was this girl in middle school who was my first kiss and were each others first true loves. we split and she found an older boyfriend. they just broke up this week. they were together for two years. we were talking and we hung out and kissed. she told me she loves me and always did. she said we were meant to be. i was a little pushy and kept asking questions over text and she ignored me. when I asked her later why she ignored me she told me she wasn’t ready to respond. how do I play this? I really like her and want to start something up.
thanks,
E
Hi E
At the moment it’s best not to pressure her into a response as this is probably quite a sensitive subject. A good trick to avoid this is to ask less direct questions and make more statements. Be there for her, but let her make contact with you. When you’re with her don’t focus on negative things work on making her have fun experiences. Be non reactive, ready to listen but you want to focus on the future and enjoying the most of your time together in the moment, not on the past.
Best HQ
hello,
i seem to come across as a player to women as im always joking around, being funny like a stand up ;0
can being a “player” ( which i wish i was lol) to women change the way they are like being shy or this another form of cold shoulder? friend told me i should be quiet in front of women as they would want to know more if they like you. do you agree? i thought they were the boring type haha
now really understanding your posts just being Ill for now i cant go test any of them.