How to be Manlier Than Approach Anxiety

Problem:

When most guys go out, they’ll approach like they buy milk. There’s no purpose, they’re just doing another task on a list of things they feel like they have to do. It’s better than sitting at home playing the new Modern Warfare game, as far as developing a social life, but it’s still not as effective, and initially attractive, as it could be. Also, when it’s just a task, you’re more likely to succumb to the effects of approach anxiety.

Solution:

When you go out, have a purpose. I don’t mean simply goals, like, “Go approach ten women,” I mean purpose. The difference is intent. If your goal is to approach ten women, and you do so with the same amount of purpose you go grocery shopping, then it’s all for naught. Approach like you’re a man, like you’re storming the beaches of Normandy, like you might die tomorrow, and if this is your final act, then by God, you’re going out with a bang! (So to speak, of course.)

This is you

When things matter, then they should be treated as such. Don’t go through life half-assing things that matter. Give them your full attention. Be present, feel the emotions welling up inside of you. Thoughts are okay, but should not be held on to like a safety blanket. They should be like butterflies, interesting, fleeting, allowed to drift away as quickly as they come.

Most people starting to learn seduction will attempt to stop approach anxiety, but that is counter-productive. Approach anxiety is a good indication of who you should approach. If a woman can create that nervousness in you, then she’s someone you’re attracted to. A man’s deepest purpose is generally found down the path that he fears to follow. Going and approaching despite the fear will allow you to feel your purpose. It is masculine to overcome fear. Bravery is not the absence of fear, but action despite fear. Women and fortune favor the brave.

If you “destroy” approach anxiety, using some psychological trick to remove approach anxiety, you’re removing the ability to be excellent. Women know that approaching a beautiful woman is difficult, and they know when the situation is especially difficult. Woman are very emotionally intuitive. A hard approach for you might be easy for someome else, but women can feel the emotional energy within you. When you approach, she can feel the emotions you overcame to approach. When you overcome obstacles, and approach no matter the circumstance and strong emotions, she’s going to feel far more initial attraction than some guy who felt no fear, and approached her when it was “easy.” Go for the 3-pointers, take the hard shots. That which seems difficult in seduction is usually the easy way.

This is not to say that one should waste time, or make things unnecessarily complicated. Quite the contrary, seduction can be simple. Simplicity is not always ease. Approaching a woman with simple honesty, “Hello, I saw you and I wanted to talk to you,” can feel far less easy than dropping the newest opinion opener. However, it is simple, because she knows your intent, and few men have the clarity of purpose to put it out in the open like that. She’ll feel it even more strongly if you said something like that after overcoming approach anxiety. It is a simple thing to do, but it is not always easy.

Action Steps:

Now, I implore you. Go out, find the women that take your breath away, that make you do a double-take. Find the ones who you make excuses not to approach. Make it your purpose, and approach those women with nothing but truth and simplicity: “Hello, I saw you, and I want to talk to you.”