The Three Habits
The law of the harvest is to reap more than you sow. Sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit, and you reap a character; sow a character, and you reap a destiny.
-Charles Read
On occasion, we get a student who just needs to overcome some random issue and all of a sudden girls love him. Far more often, becoming a man who enjoys an abundance of women in his life requires a more time consuming transformation. What makes some students capable of making that transformation while others fall from the path?
Habits.
So I’ve taken it to be my job not to get girls for students, but rather to help them incorporate the habits that will result in them getting girls for themselves. (I can’t get rid of that ring for you, but here’s a vial of nice glowing water, don’t lose it!) I’ve distilled these into three habits, which I will share with you now.
Keep in mind, these aren’t things that some students get results with, rather, almost everyone who has ever gone from being bad to great with women has had to master all three of these habits. Become the exception by learning the rules.
Habit One: Take Right Action
There comes a time in every man’s life when he is faced with the decision between what is easy and what is right.
-Lots of awesome people
(Be like Supes. Shown here terrifying a family by ramming their automobile into a rock.)
This is the most important thing… YOU WILL EVER READ. Take right action. Do what you know needs to be done. Nothing else matters if you don’t do this.
No matter what else you do, there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who take what they want out of life, and those who let life pass them by. What you feel is dictated by what you’ve been doing. Most people base their decisions about what they will do on how they feel at the time, creating self perpetuating feedback loops. Some people, the great minority, base the actions they take on what is most effective, and then derive feelings of happiness and fulfillment from doing what they know they should be doing, thus creating positive feedback loops irrespective of their circumstances.
By all means, be honorable, be compassionate, be righteous in thought and deed… but do what needs to be done to live the life you want, to meet the people you want in it, to have the adventures you want to have. From the standpoint of pickup, taking right action basically applies to shouldering social pressure and doing what needs to be done to bring you closer to being in bed with a girl you like.
Opening her: you miss all the shots you don’t take. I don’t care if you use the most complex indirect set merging stealth tactic or if you whistle and slap your ass.
Do SOMETHING.
If you can’t make yourself do something, give money to a friend or have them hit you if you don’t open. You don’t have to be disciplined enough to do something you can’t make yourself do. You only have to want it enough to gain leverage over your emotions by giving away something you HAVE to get back and putting yourself in a position where you have no choice.
After opening, you have to shoulder social pressure in order to progress the set. Making lame fluff talk till she wanders away bored is not taking right action. Move the set forward. Find out what she is passionate about, do something strange and fun, and talk about sex.
These are all things that feel weird, because you’ve been conditioned to say shit that causes girls to literally flee from boredom, because it’s safe and generic enough they can’t call you creepy.
And finally you have to take right action and shoulder the social pressure by closing. You’ve got to isolate, you’ve got to ask for info, you’ve got to go for the makeout, you’ve got to pull. You’ve got to be more than some guy, you’ve got to be her fantasy. What’s in a number? Girl’s don’t dream about an awesome guy getting their number! Girl’s dream of being swept off their feet.
Get a rolling start: use the Social Gearshift.
You’re probably not going to go from standing around like a fun barnacle to spewing forth incredible game. State needs momentum to build.
Think of it like a gearshift.
You start in neutral,
Go to first: walk around, make eye contact, smile, nod, say “hello.”
Go to second: give high fives, compliments, ask people about their day.
Go to third: say things that don’t require a response, but may garner one anyway. Short questions (are you an artist?), funny statements (I’ve got shoes just like that,) or offers to vibe (how you doing?) fall into this category.
Go to fourth: here’s where you begin to force interactions. “Pardon me, I hate to stop you but…” This gear is where you’re not just approaching, you’re opening. She’s going to talk to you here.
And fifth is just over the top, the stuff that comes out of your mouth when you’re in deep state and everything you do is awesome.
Work your way up, shift through the gears. Keep in mind that there won’t be enough hot girls to be able to address them alone. The other benefit of the social gearshift is that it conditions you to be a generally social person. Everyone you meet allows you to pump your state, and everytime you do it you get better at adding value to strangers lives.
Habit Two: Have Fun
Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.
-Michael Jordan
If you’re not having fun, she won’t be either. Remember that the stronger reality swallows the weaker reality. This isn’t cosmic ju-ju, this is supported by science. Whatever you feel, she feels, if you’re terrified, you will not be providing her with a pleasant experience.
Take right action comes first, because approaching may terrify you, but you have to do it anyway. It’ll get better. Figure out ways to have fun. It’s better to have fun and game in a sub-optimal fashion than to condition yourself to hate going out and practicing.
One of the things that will help is building social momentum and opening as soon as you arrive at the venue. The nights where I go out, walk in, and stand about tend to be much lamer than the nights where I talk to people on the street on the way to the venue, talk to people in line, and open the first set I see as I walk in. Those nights are MUCH more fun, rather than worrying about what I’m going to do and who I’m going to talk to, I’m just enjoying the company of all the people I encounter.
If you can’t figure out a way to have fun, pick your favorite ladies man, be it Bond or Indiana Jones or Batman or who…ever, and go out and literally do whatever you think he’d do in every situation. Make it a game.
In fact, if you’re not having fun, it’s time to play… The blow out game.
The blow out game is awesome because you can play it with friends or with strangers, and it’ll lead to either one of them worshiping you as a god.
It’s REALLY simple.
They pick a girl, they give you something to say to her, and you go up and say it.
There are two rules:
One: she needs to be reasonably attractive.
Two: whatever they give you to say can’t be boring, get you arrested, or hurt her feelings. (It can be shocking and offensive. Her slapping you is fine, her crying is NOT.)
Habit Three: Filter for the Positive
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
-Winston Churchill
The best students think about what they did RIGHT.
The best student are not realists, or pragmatists, or objective, or anything associated with being smart. They get good because they are HAPPY when the night is over and that makes them want to practice more. If I have one student who does ten sets and nine hate him and one is nice to him, and he’s stoked that a stranger treated him with kindness, and another student who gets nine numbers and one girl back turns him, and he’s upset by that one set, who will get better?
You know the answer.
The positive student, thought he starts out far behind, will excel in time, while the negative student, with all his talent, will come to hate the pain that practicing brings. Filter for the positive at every turn.
Dead night? You get to practice sharp shooting!
Long line? Lot’s of girls stuck in one place who haven’t been hit on too much yet.
Quick blow out? No wasted time!
Get rejected? Great job truing to escalate.
What if you’re a negative person by nature?
Recondition your brain.
With what I call the Temple of Win.
It’s easy, don’t worry about writing field reports or anything like that. But every time you open, after the set, write down at least one thing that was positive about it. Review these things every day and soon you’ll start filtering for all the things you do right instead of criticizing yourself all the time and forgetting about the good stuff.
Remember, it’s the process that matters, not the result. The effort, not the outcome.
The destination does not exist, for even when you arrive, you’ll only have begun another journey.
Till next time guys,
If you don’t know what to say, just say something.
Love ya!
-The Braeden
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