What Should a Kiss say to a Woman You Actually Like?

Hey guys,

This is a post I have got around to writing pretty quickly. I was giving a talk on our bootcamp last weekend and while covering K-closing technique a thought occurred to me: what should a kiss say?

In the movie Hitch, Will Smith says: ‘8/10 women believe the first kiss will tell them everything they need to know about the relationship.’

The words unsaid...

Well while the statistic might not be completely accurate there is certainly truth in it. Just as dancing relates to sex, a kiss can relate to your whole role in a relationship with a woman. What she can expect from a guy both sexually and emotionally.

For instance are you a guy who will lunge forward in the hope he will make the right move? Are you timid to start with and needs some encouragement before finally giving her what she really wants? Are you aggressive and dominant, maybe even to the point of ignoring the signals she is giving you? Or are you be the guy who starts a fire with barely a touch.

What does your kiss say about you?

What are we looking for?

We know what we are aiming for, so how do we make her see fireworks? Bear in mind a few things:

1. Read her actions: what you want is not always what she wants. This is obvious with sex, it is almost more important at this stage as it will communicate that you can be as savvy in the bedroom as you can be in the club, and with that in mind…
2. Do not be afraid to dominate! We tend to talk about being an alpha male, and leading and being dominant is a key feature of this, so why do some men fall down at the kiss? Make sure that you are showing you can give her that masculine presence she needs all the way through!
3. Don’t arrive at the party too late! Take the initiative and don’t wait for her to be giving you IOI’s (indicators of interest) akin to stadium lights before you kiss her. But on that note…
4. Don’t speed. When actually going in for the kiss, which she should know you are doing, don’t be afraid to let some suspense build. It shows sexual confidence that transfers to the bedroom.
5. One type of firework is boring. Just as flowers every birthday or anniversary, or the same move in bed every night kills a relationship, kissing her in the same way each time kills a bit of the passion. Try not to do the same thing repeatedly. Instead vary your method, keep her guessing, and wanting, more.
6. Wait for Christmas to open your present. Don’t be too eager. Back off every now and then, many guys start kissing a girl and don’t slow down or sometimes even stop! This can kill off a vibe so make sure you can keep things at a good pace.

The IOI’s you are looking for so you know when to go in for the kiss are simple and easy to spot, the easiest being her looking at your lips. Playing with her hair/neck, blushing and having dilated pupils are all good indicators as well.

Everything we crave

Technique

Now everyone has their own techniques that they like to use when going in for the kiss, I myself have a few that I teach to clients, but what about actually kissing her? Follow these few tips to keep these moments varied and explosive:

1. Kiss her with your eyes first. This is a standard, before you kiss her for the first time let her know what you are about to do by slowing down and looking at her like you are going to kiss her. Tilt your head a bit; maybe lift her chin up a fraction, let her anticipate the moment.
2. Foreplay is important. Trace certain features with a caressing finger before kissing her. The jaw line, cheek, and especially the lips are all great for building up to the big moment.
3. Only one thing should get stiff. Relax is a big bit of advice! If you are too stiff and rigid with your kiss then it doesn’t quite scream ‘I am cool with this’ It translates that you are quite nervous and therefore probably don’t get to this point with chicks much.
4. Get primal. Tug her hair lightly while in a more intense kiss to really kick on the primal level and tap into your alpha male caveman! Bear in mind it should be lightly, unless she is into that sort of thing, in which case you will find out pretty quickly if she is.
5. Biting got Dracula laid. Biting her lower lip lightly adds a very sensual, but dominating edge to a kiss, but again, if she is into the painful side of sex, you will get back better than you got!
6. Clean your ears. And hope she cleans hers! The ear is an on show erogenous zone, so make use of it! Whether by giving it a gentle kiss, lick, bite or (a big favourite of mine) just breathing on it, make sure you utilize this area.
7. Control the French in you. While using a bit of tongue is great, don’t overdo it and go for it every time. Some of the most sexual kisses can be something as simple as looking into her eyes and giving her a brief, but sensual kiss before pulling away. Deprive her a little bit.
8. Lingering feelings take time to go away. The lips are an incredibly sensitive area of the body, so give both of you a treat and after you kiss her softly, or even before you kiss her at all let your lips just brush over hers. The sensation is highly sexual and yet deprives her of full satisfaction.

So that brings me to the end of another huge post. I hope that this will be of use to some of you. As usual please leave a comment telling me what you think

Until next time!

Karl