PUA Training Blog

Women want men in their lives.  It’s their feminine instinct.                                            

Like in my last post, the woman was in an emotional state, but she was going too fast and trying to connect to anything the situation presented in an effort to lock the man in.  It is her way of wanting him to prove that he loves her, so she can feel connected and thereby reduce her fear of isolation or deprivation.  If he does this she will feel calm, loved, appreciated, grateful and supported.  If he doesn’t do this she will feel anxious, sad and unloved.

Luckily, Female fear stimulates a protective aggression in the males of most species of social animals.  On an emotional level for a female, it feels like the only real protection from harm and isolation is intimate connection with a male.  Emotional talk is the native language of females. 

This results from an almost entirely unconscious process called emotional attunement.  To understand the power of emotional attunement you only have to consider its survival advantage.  Sharing emotions gives us multiple eyes, ears and noses with which to sense danger and opportunity.  When one member of the tribe (pack, herd, flock, or pride) becomes aggressive, frightened or interested, the others reflexively tune to the same emotion with more or less the same behavioural motivation.

Emotional attunement is why a woman’s choice of words has little to do with the success of her intentions.  Humans bonded, cooperated, and communicated by emotional attunement many thousands of years before we had verbal language.  Our vocalisations then were the same as those of social animals, serving primarily as a tuning fork to get the group reattuned to the emotion of the moment.  In humans, tone of voice and subcommunication now serves this purpose.

All of this means that, in general, it’s easier to form a close connection with a girl.  She follows you around, looking for it.

So condition yourself to notice how a woman’s feeling when she says something.  Maybe she creates her own meaning.  Because sometimes she just wants someone to understand her.  And someone to make her feel alive.

Alex Street Kid

Alex Street Kid

PS:  To be continued…

We occasionally train guys by telephone, as part of Gambler’s courtesy phone consultations with mPUAs, and usually the guys we train are very keen to learn from us and try new things.  This week I called some guys who had trained with us last January, expecting to be giving them 30 minutes chock-full of advice like we normally do, but this time I found myself being cut short just two minutes into the phonecall… a lot of these guys now had girlfriends and lovers and mistresses!  I found myself speaking with guys who were totally different from when I last met them in January… they were now confident and happy and eager to tell me their success stories, and their enjoyable journeys through game.  I was a bit shocked at first, but what can I say?  A lot can happen in a year, and they were well-trained.

The first guy was really excited about his story: “I made love with this girl on the stairs of her hostel man, at 3 in the morning.” He was already a semi-natural, but booked us to enhance his game even more.  He was a musician, and I drew parallels between pickup and music so he could express himself better, like telling him, “Open up. Don’t perform. Create.”  He used this to meet new girls, but he met this one while he was still in a relationship, so I told him even if someone’s done it to you, you should let girls down gently, because you never know how it might affect them.  He didn’t want to break up with her, so I taught him ways to deepen their understanding so she might accept an open relationship.  He’s now dating multiple women.

(more…)

Recently there was a girl I liked, and she told me she wanted to feel like a bird, because when a bird flies, it doesn’t care what anyone says or thinks about it.  She said you have to fly before you can express yourself.

Nearby there was a balloon man holding balloons, so I said maybe if she held enough of them she could float up into the sky like a bird and land on the soft white fluffy clouds… she told me she didn’t think so but we could try.  So we bought the balloons and we tied them to her but sadly it didn’t work.

Why did we do that?  Was it a desire to leave behind Darwinian natural selection and beat evolution? 

As humans we may not be able to attain the beauty of a free-spirited bird, its grace, movement and existence.  But to notice what is important to her, to explore it with her, to create a mutual understanding of ideas from one emotion to another, and how it all relates to life… you can easily find out what makes her happy, and when to leave something at suggestion level.

If you’re curious, if you’re thirsty, if you’re creative, you can take an idea and make it seen.  Nothing will happen if you don’t show it.  Your mind will give you answers, it will give you the power to create something beautiful.  Maybe the reality around us is merely something we negotiate between us…

Imagine…

In Western thought everything exists out there. Eastern thought, the mind exists and reality is an illusion. She comes to this place, maybe it is unreal, but she feels happy.

HB:  One day I’ll wake up and I’ll think ahh alex, okay… I’ll call him. I’ll say hey it’s the girl you tried flying with…

Maybe today is just my memory as long as I can remind… the life is true…

Alex Street Kid

I was wondering the other day about when animals play with each other, why are they happy?  Maybe as humans, each is the author of who he/she is, rare consciousness and awareness, each is amazingly complex. But look closer at animals playing, and maybe it is a deeper resonance in yourself that you find.

One day I was watching two puppies chasing each other in the park, and I thought maybe this is nature, maybe this is so beautiful to watch because they’re not getting in their own way. Then as I watched ducks gliding along the water, I noticed a ripple effect and I thought about what I was going to do that day.  A woman came and sat next to me, and started reading her book.  She asked me if I liked ducks, and I said I did.  She asked me what I was reading and I told her it was a medical textbook. She then wanted help with a letter she was writing to a friend who had just found a new boyfriend.  I gave her some advice, and she asked me if I believed in love.

I told her I thought most of what happens in our lives is what we have caused to happen.  What cause and effect produced the present?  It’s infinite, but it’s things that we made happen for the most part… either consciously or unconsciously… so you have to play with the subtleties of real time, like the formlessness of water, like a flowing river.  Who and what you are determines what happens to you.  The laws of cause and effect is a function of how you think about the life you’re in…  so in a way I did believe in it.

You don’t know if it’s right or wrong, it’s just a choice.

There are two worlds, one isn’t necessarily better than the other, they just are.  It just is.

Her next words floated through the urban backwaters, as I leant listening to her against the light. “My kids will be free. They will do what they want to do, and they will do what they love. This will make them strong, this will make them free.”

Alex Street Kid

To reach a woman, to make her feel safe, you must first understand her.  Many times when the spirit of seduction breaks through austere, it’s because the guy understands her mind.  The more she feels understood, the more she values herself as a woman. Like an actress beginning to have true emotions when she is inspired, her body will begin to echo her experience…

It is observation and reflection that make understanding this inner world of hers possible.  Possibility is limited only by our imagination, her thoughts are limited only by linguistic pathways through her mind.  What you want is flow and association so you don’t run out of things to say… like word associations, free associations, intuitive responses, and the power of a child’s creativity.  Notice certain facial expressions… voice tonality… and a subtle look in her eyes… 

I noticed an HB Latina’s face flush slightly when she told me things like:  “Sometimes I wish I could just look at the world without anybody seeing me.”  

Females have a far richer perceptual language than males.  When girls are learning to read, their brain multi-tracks the different meanings differently from boys.  Back in the wild, If a mother hears a sound, she needs to interpret all the possible meanings to protect her young.

When a female believes that she is deciding to do something, her brain has already made that decision some time before.  She then justifies everything she does now, and how it all relates to her life.

Alex: do those tattoos mean inner strength or a rebellious nature?  HB:  I’m the black sheep of my family.        

Some cultures also have a rich perceptual language.  Like the Inuit people of Canada have one word for “I like you but I would not go seal hunting with you.”  A female can do this with just one look.    So the world is usually reflecting what she wants.

If you want to play on her level, notice how she uses language, notice how she multi-tracks, and condition yourself to do the same.                   

Alex Street Kid