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Hey guys,

so in response to my last blog and John’s reply:

The easiest sets in clubs are the girls standing or sitting in high traffic areas doing nothing. They’re obviously bored, low energy and are just waiting for someone to come and lighten up their night.

Also large groups of girls (8+) – they don’t get approached because guys in general would be too scared of being blown out in front of that many girls. The most obvious example of this – Hen’s night – subconsciously the girls are wanting some attention like the Hen has obviously got back home.

I agree with John that is is true is some situations.  However, my comments about the above are as follows:

Sometime low energy girls are difficult to bring up and you may have to lower your energy somewhat to interact with them which isn’t necessarily something you would want to do whilst you’re out gaming.

Women do respond to higher energy individuals however if the gap is too small you may have to do a lot of work.  Also, if the women is sitting there bored she may not be the most interesting person to talk to, if she takes too much energy and isn’t brought up by you fast, cut away from her and move on!

Hen groups can be good, however, they may stick together all pull each other away from a set.  This is common female behaviour and is sometimes caused by jealousy of the other members of the group so make sure you start off by addressing the whole group and then hone in on one individual slowly so that this doesn’t happen.  These groups may be good for a laugh but I wouldn’t expect a serious long term pick up out of it.  Meeting a guy on a hen night has negative connotations for a women in terms a relationship, it’s too difficult for most women to adequately romanticise the meeting and therefore it may take a great deal of work to convince them that it was a pleasant meeting.  Women like nice stories of how they meet their partners, and that boys isn’t exactly knight in shining armour behaviour!

Sometimes sets of 3 are positive as 2 of the friends can continue chatting as you speak to their friend.  These sets are best when you approach all three and make them laugh and then hone in slowly on one.  Once you have done this you can take her somewhere else, somewhere quieter where is would be easier to hear each other etc.  This with give you an opportunity to create a rapport and practise some kino techniques.

The truth is many sets and most are fine to approach as long as you come in with a higher energy level, approach a women with an observational or opinion opener and say whatever you want with conviction.  Less is more, short and sweet, asking open questions and allowing her to talk.  Giving you an opportunity to find hooks!  Another thing to note is that you can almost exclusively only find the right women if you know what you are looking for.  The probability on bumping into her is low unless you put yourself in the right situation based on what you know about what you like!

If you are in a situation just to pick up and you don’t like where you are this will come across so if you don’t like clubbing a club is NOT a good place for you to pick up!  Especially when she says “are you having fun?” and you say “no it’s rubbish” or “yeah, it’s okay”, people like to be around others having fun.

Please feel free to post any questions.

Until next time, get out there and keep trying, its the best method of learning.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

angel

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Hey Guys,

Thank you for your responses readers.  I’m glad to hear you guys are giving it a go; it’s always great to be the part of the motivation behind your success.

This week’s lesson will be referring to what you do once you’ve got the motivation to go out.  It’s all good and well me telling you to go out but not if you’re standing there in that corner of the room like a lemon wishing you could go home- everyone’s been there! It’s that feeling that everyone else must know each other or be friends of friends and you feel like you’re completely out of place and couldn’t possibly talk to any of them. Let us be honest why would they want to talk to you?!

Now that’s the key, this question is the wrong question but it is pivotal in this lesson, the question should be; why wouldn’t they want to talk to you?!

Now if you can sit there and think of lots of interesting things about yourself, you think you are sociable and funny, easy to talk to etc. we can move on to the next part of the lesson if you can’t do this you’ll have to wait until next weeks lesson for your help, sorry boys!  If this does sound like you though comment and I’ll write about this next week depending on the demand!

So back to those of you who are happy with your ability to talk to people and boys, I don’t mean a long conversation.  However, I do mean one that isn’t awkward and consists of more than a weather forecast and a forced smile!  Here the lesson is about choosing your captive audience.  I have found that when working with clients without much experience they tend to pick difficult situations to open and then get depressed by a bad outcome.  Although it is good to get to a level where you can open any set, when in training try and pick open sets to practices on.  Therefore this week’s lesson is knowing who to approach!

This may sound like it’s obvious and easy to some of you but to a large majority it isn’t and it’s a skill that I teach.  It is pivotal in creating a good interaction and it isn’t decided on by the attractiveness of the lady in question, she isn’t more likely to talk to you if she isn’t attractive boys; you’re just more likely to be depressed if it goes wrong because you thought it would be easier!

This is turning into a long post with a lot of branches and questions guys. So next week I’ll tell you who to approach. However until then, if it is easy could you guys tell me, who should you, approach for an easy set?! I’ll respond to the comments and show the pitfalls next week!

On another note; I’m offering FREE yes the was FREE one on one sessions to anyone to can restore the data on my Macbook laptop hard drive after it had mechanical failure. Does any one have access to time in a clean room or feels that they can do the job if so email me or comment back with your contact details.

Until next time, have a great week!

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So, the essence of my first post was along the correct lines and I support them with this post.

The truth is that it’s not that easy to get motivated to go out, especially when you’re not getting the results you were hoping for.  So, why not change your goals?  It’s always important to set your sights high but social improvement is not an over night phenomenon especially if you’re doing it without professional tuition.  With this in view setting realistic goal to get yourself started

E.g.

I will talk to five women for three minutes each tonight

or

I will approach an alpha looking male and  ATTEMPT TO make friends with him tonight to increase my social circle

It is true that if you don’t set your sights high you will never excel however it is also true to say that if you set them up to high you will set yourself up to fail!  Failing if that best way of learning what not to do but do it too much and you will lose your motivation to try.

Attempt to set small goal and we’ll move on to step three next time!

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As humans we learn by repetition.  Therefore the more one on ones I teach the more I learn, particularly about my students.  One of the key problems students have is the type of lifestyle or pattern of behaviour they have adopted through life.  This hinders their ability to get themselves back into the swing of socialising with NEW people.

Most commonly I hear things like:

‘I’m tired when I get back from work so I can’t go gaming…’

‘I don’t know anyone to go gaming with’

‘I don’t do any social activities, I can’t go to a club as I can’t even dance’

‘I don’t have any sociable hobbies’

This is all well and good if you are trying to describe your past life but not if you want to move forward and improve your social skills.   This is about finding your drive…

When I come back from work, I am incredibly tired.  However, and here’s the difference between myself and these guys, I get myself past the fact that I’m tired and look at the positives of going out.  The fact that it’ll be more fun than staying home or the fact that I’ll meet fun new people that I can go out with again or that I’ll learn more about game or that I’ll have a great story to tell the next new person I meet, really and truly the list is endless…

So I can tell you this and it will obviously help your game, but the question is…will you get yourself ‘up and at ‘em’.  Ask yourself; How much do I want to change my life?

So where is the take home message? Well it is really in the title…

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