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I went out on Saturday night with some friends from the gym and had an awesome time in Café de Paris (London west-end nightclub). I hadn’t had a proper night out with friends for a few weeks, so it was certainly welcome. Multiple k-closes, multiple n-closes, lots of banter, Robocop moments, and some of the craziest IOIs EVER!!! At one point I was walking through the dance-floor, which was packed, and had several women in a row basically lay it on a plate for me! I didn’t do anything with them, though, as I was leading another woman by the hand (who I’d been snogging in the back room about 30 seconds earlier), but as soon as I got her back to her friends I got an IOI from HBSitting, whom I immediately went to, sat beside her and kissed her… damn that felt gooooooood! LOL

As I walked around, I was doing a little visualisation that I’ve developed to get my vibe going, and man does it work a treat. I felt good and in the zone and nothing was going to stop me. It helped that I had good social proof… we were a mixed group and I’d be surprised if other women hadn’t noticed me messing around and having fun with the women in our group, dancing with them on the stairs so everyone on the dancefloor could see us, picking them up in my arms and swinging them around etc. Opening sets was just too easy!

NB: In retrospect, I did lots of really great stuff which was textbook pick-up gold. I only know that, however, because I’ve studied the subject and can look back on the night and say “yeah, I know exactly why this or that worked”. In reality though, I wasn’t consciously doing any particular routines or techniques during the night (except for that visualisation I mentioned earlier – something I’ve developed recently and am still fine-tuning)… what I was doing was having fun! I was in the moment, generally not thinking about anything else, not worrying what people thought of me, not caring if a woman liked me or not, just having tons of fun. I was 100% outside my head, going with the flow and enjoying every moment, and that my friends is a sure-fire way to attract women.

I hope you guys are having fun practicing your skills out there… if not, then now’s the time to start! Good luck and happy times… -A

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I was once chatting to a guy in a bar when the subject of game arose in the conversation. When he learned that I work for PUA Training, he got so excited and started firing questions at me and asking me to demo. Normally, I am very happy to share what I’ve learned about women, relationships and game etc. and have no problem at all having fun with people when I’m out if we have a certain level of rapport. Life’s too short and I want to appreciate and enjoy every minute of it. In this instance, however, there was something about this guy’s line of questioning that put me off. I’ll give you an example…

His first question was how he could get a particular woman’s number. This woman was sitting at a table near us with her date. They were obviously a couple and looked, in fact, like they were quite in love. She hadn’t taken her eyes off her date all night and showed zero signs of interest in any other men, including the guy who was asking me the question. In case I had missed something, I asked him if he had received IOIs from her. No. Did she even look his way? No. Did he think she was unhappy in her relationship? No. Did he find her attractive? Not really. So I had to ask the question – WHY? You know, as a challenge!

He was deadly serious.

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Last night I took the residential student to Kate Moss’s party at Amika… I was talking to one of the girls at the models’ table and had an epiphany which I’d like to share with you.

If you were at NLP Ben’s special bootcamp which we filmed last weekend, you’ll have learnt a lot about storytelling… I know I did! (Thanks Ben, it was awesome!!!) For the first time, I was really conscious about a story I was telling the girl and how it was taking her on an emotional ride. It was fantastic. By the end of it, she was clutching her chest, her heart thumping, trying to catch her breath! Powerful stuff.

The funny thing is, I’ve told this story to girls loads of times (pre-game), but it always ended with a massive downer. It’s a true story and it involves an old friend who died in a car accident the following year. So there I would be, telling the story about this amazing time I had with an old friend, sharing all these exciting emotions and high energy, only for me to end it with – “and the reason this story has extra importance to me is that he died the following year, yet he left me with such an unforgettable experience” etc. etc.

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“Stop talking!” has become one of my favourite sayings recently, but not my favourite. That esteemed position is held by the oft uttered (by me) “You talk too much!” I love it. It’s succinct, to the point and, more often than not, answers a common sticking point my students are dealing with.

Here’s the thing… many PUAs love to talk. It’s good to talk, right? But the problem is that you can talk too much and, at some point, there needs to be a sign that something is going on below the surface between you and the woman you are speaking to. A spark. Chemistry. Something! And no, saying “hey, we must have some kind of special connection, don’t you feel it?” simply won’t suffice if you haven’t communicated it non-verbally first. More importantly, if you have communicated it non-verbally, then you don’t need to verbalize it!

So how can we make this happen? Well, first of all let’s assume that you are the kind of guy that’s giving off good vibes. You feel good about yourself, you feel comfortable in the environment and you remain unnerved by the beautiful woman in front of you. Great! These are the strongest foundations for success with women. But where do we go from here?

Lesson 1 : SHUT UP!

That’s right. You heard me. Just shut up! For a second. Please?

Sometimes you just need to take a moment in the interaction to… well, what exactly? It can be many things. You could be taking pleasure in appreciating the beauty of the woman in front of you. You could be wondering to yourself, “She cannot be serious, can she?” after she just said something funny / ridiculous / stupid etc. In fact, it can be anything, but it has to be matched with solid eye-contact and a ‘look’ that is heavily loaded… by this, I mean it says something. Furthermore, it needs to be positive. You can still use a look to convey disapproval, but do it in a way that is subtle and playful and the result will be a positive one.
I’ve often used silence right at the beginning of a set to good effect. Done correctly, it can set the tone for the whole interaction wonderfully. I’ve walked up to the counter at Starbucks and said nothing for ages, just looking at the woman in a way that tweaks her brain and they usually love it. Also, if I get opened for directions, I’ll do a little act that involves no talking, just to really get their attention. For example, I’d act as if they’ve really offended me (by asking the way to Leicester square) or they are trying to pick me up (by asking for the time)!

The real power of it all, however, is when you are escalating with a woman and you want to kiss her. Yes, you can kiss her whilst you’re still talking, but usually it’s better to stop first. So stop. Look at her the way Mr. Completely Sexual would. Give her laser-sex-eyes. Be smooth and go for it! She’ll thank you afterwards!

So remember, “you talk too much….” and “stop talking!”

On a final note, I also like saying these same words to women… when they’re being AFC; talking their asses off trying to impress me; when I know what they really want… and I say it to them right before I kiss them. Or better yet, I’ll just motion my forefinger to my lips, as if to say “SHHHHH!”… enough said.

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