PUA Training Blog

Hey Guys,

Responses to the Self-hypnosis audio have been brilliant - thanks to all of you who have emailed me or posted comments (if you want to listen you can do so here ). You can download the file here

A few of you have asked questions so I’ve decided to write some responses to answer a few of them……….

Noel asked “Does NLP / Hypnosis work with everyone?”

The thing to realise is that NLP and hypnosis use thought processes and patterns and are already part of peoples’ functioning and, in fact, most of them are modelled from people who are doing thing or being a particular way. Let me give you an example:

People sometimes say to me they don’t know if their visualisations are powerful enough and I ask “Have you ever experienced anxiety?”. The thing is, to experience anxiety a person has to imagine something happening in the future and usually make a picture of some event or situation that they wouldn’t want. So, firstly, this means they have the ability not only to make pictures internally, but also to construct pictures of things that haven’t even happened yet. And, they are able to make the pictures so vivid and lifelike that they feel real feelings (anxiety) as a result of them. So, this means a person has the ability to create pictures that are so real they feel actual feelings now. That’s quite a skill. And, of course, if they can make pictures that make them feel one way they can make them feel another way.

Regarding hypnosis, then people enter trance states all the time. A simple way to consider trance is that it is a state characterised by a narrow focus of attention, everyday examples are driving trances, have you ever been driving and absorbed in your own thougts or ’in your own world’ and nearly missed an exit or junction? The TV trance is another, someone may not even hear their name being called because their attention is focused solely on the TV, they may even have their hand dangling in mid air holding the remote. When someone is experiencing approach anxiety, they may go into trance and literally go ‘blank’ so it seems like there’s nothing there.

So, the question isn’t really whether people can experience trance, it’s more whether the trances they are experiencing are serving them well, and, if not then hypnosis is one way to change this.

Linking to the question from Alif Aka Myth. You say you can’t seem to get the audio to work for you, my question is, How do you know it’s not working? But, more importantly, how would you know if it was?

A question to ask yourself is “Do you really want to understand how to be a great pua or do you want to BE a great pua?”

The aim of the audio is NOT that you consciously know what you’ve modelled from someone else. You can do that by observing them and analysing what they do. The aim of this is to learn unconsciously (which means you don’t know what is it you are learning, you just discover that you have) - which is how you learned as a child, you never consciously set out one day to learn to walk and analysed your progress as you went along. In fact, if you had it would probably have been the very thing that would have stopped you learning it.

I’m not suggesting that analysis and logical understanding aren’t helpful, only that this audio is about helping you find an alternative way of learning. We have been conditioned by our society that we must understand things before we can do them which is sometimes a very unhelpful way to work. Do you really want to understand how to be a great pua or do you want to be a great pua? If you actually want to understand it (which I would suggest only really has a benefit if you’re a trainer and want to teach others) then analysis will be useful, but if you just want to model someone  and be how they are then this will help you massively. Here’s one of the emails I received….

Hey Ben,

This week has been pretty interesting, friday night i applied non verbal opening / forcing a IOI - followed with a direct approach straight into a kiss - the rest was easy. Saturday was more of the same - kissed a girl i was out with some mates - after lots of strong eye contact, i walked up - took hold of her belt and gently pulled her into me - kiss kiss…. the come to bed eyes are improving haha - i wasn’t sure why this side of things is suddenly clicking - then i remembered doing your audio hypnosis! and using Gambler / Maverick as a model!

many thanks   Dan

Now, I’m sure there will be some cynical people out there who say, well, maybe these things would have happened anyway. And, maybe Dan would have done them without using hypnotic modelling. Only you will really know what effects it has after you’ve listened to it and, it may be that it’s only some time afterwards when you find yourself being different that you make a connection with that experience. Feel free to let me know your feedback.

Hey guys, I’m currently working on a new self-hypnosis product and I’ve produced a segment for you to listen to. This short recording will be of interest if:

You would like to develop your pick up skills, develop your abilities and accelerate the way you learn

You know of someone who can things you would like to do

or you know someone who has a way of being in the world that you would like to model?

The audio below will guide you through a short experience of how to alter you own state and model someone of your choice.  A lot has been written in the pua community about hypnosis and using it for seduction but hardly anything about how you can use self-hypnosis to accelerate your own learning and development. I’m going to share with you some ideas about using hypnosis to model other people who are excellent at something (which, by the way, could be pick up or anything else).

You will get the most from this if you decide the following before listening:

1.)    Who do you want to model? Who do you know that is an example of how you would like to be? (e.g. Gambler, Mystery, Tom Cruise, a comedian, singer, presenter – it’s not important that you’ve ever met this person BUT it is necessary that you have had some experience of them, seen them on TV,  listened to, read about – the more that you have experienced this model the more effective this process will be).

2.) What specifically do you want to learn from them?

3.) What don’t you want from them i.e. Are there attributes or other things which you don’t want to learn? Be clear on this one!

Once you have briefly answered those questions for yourself you may like to find somewhere you can relax safely for 15 minutes as you listen to the following audio. This is just a ‘rough cut’ recording so don’t expect studio quality.

I’d love to hear your feedback.

Ben

To experience a full weekend of hypnosis, self-hypnosis, and hypnotic

modelling, click here

My recent post“Using ‘NOT’ Part 1 - What You Focus On Increases“ explained the concept that in communication, “What you focus on Increases”. Poker made some great comments and asked the question, “Is it better to focus on the girl or on your own development as a pua?”

Of course, the question itself implies that it’s one or the other and not both. So, a simple answer is to consider how you can expand your world to focus on the girl AND developing yourself.

Another answer is to discover your own response to this question –“What do you really want, and, much more importantly, WHY do you want it?”

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In this blog entry I’m going to explore a concept in NLP that the unconscious mind doesn’t (easily) process negation. A common example of this is as follows:

I’d like you to STOP NOW…….. and read this slowly…… try not to imagine an elephant and don’t notice the long trunk and white tusks or see the grey legs.

What happened? I’m guessing that you may have had some experience of an elephant. The thing is, in order to make sense of that sentence you have to process the word ‘elephant’ on some level. In order to ‘not’ imagine it, a person usually has to imagine it first.

It doesn’t matter whether there’s a NOT in front of it, people have to process the word and represent it to themselves because the word is in the sentence (and potentially they might represent this to themselves on a deep level if the word ‘elephant’ has some emotional connection or is wired into some important experience).

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We’ve just completed one of the special NLP weekends and another group of guys had a lot of fun learning a whole set of new skills around Influencing, Language use and Storytelling.

One the most popular ideas was that of flipping buts, so, I thought I’d share you this simple pattern for dealing with resistance which you can use for pick-up, business, in fact, any area of your life where you are communicating with people and want particular results.

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A lot is written in pick up about BEING authentic and true to yourself and how attractive this can be.  The ‘Alpha Male’ is aligned with who he is and is secure in himself which itself is another way of thinking about authenticity. For me, authentic means being in touch with what’s true for you on the inside – your thoughts, feelings and desires  – and not covering them up when you’re around other people… especially WOMEN.

When you’re being authentic it doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t agree with you because it’s true for you. And, that person can’t disagree with you if you’re being authentic.  They may have a different opinion or different ideas about something. If you’re being true to yourself you can even feel good about them thinking something different. They get to have their opinion and you get to have yours. I realise some of you may not agree with this– if you don’t, that’s OK, this just my opinion, it doesn’t mean it’s true.

Consider what happens when you’re being true to yourself with a woman? It means you can agree with her and you can disagree with her. You don’t have to be “nice” and agree with everything she says and you don’t have to be arrogant and disagree to make a point. If you agree then you can agree, if you disagree then you can disagree. The thing to realise is how attractive it is when a person is being authentic. How much easier is it to be confident when you’re being true to yourself?

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