Humor

By The Braeden on June 6, 2011 Comments: 3

Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

-Henry Kissinger

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.

-Marilyn Monroe

Humor, what causes laughter, and how to be funny is the subject of countless books and articles.  All of the ones I’ve read are wrong.  Either they point to the wrong thing, or they say no one knows, or no one CAN know.  Maybe, but here’s my hypothesis.  Be warned, it’s a frame control addicts excuse to go truly rabid.

People laugh to disperse tension, this is the function of laughter.  There are other things that can relieve tension, such as sex or violence.  If tension is NOT dispersed, awkwardness ensues.

I think of awkwardness as the feeling people get when they are forced into an uncommonly limited set of responses.  Specifically a set of responses which do not include a choice that releases tension.  Thus when a really polite guy tells a girl he just met he likes her, it’s awkward, while when I tell a girl I just met I want to put a baby in her, it’s not.  In the first case, she HAS to be nice, she’s FORCED to give a polite negative response she doesn’t have an autopilot pattern for. In the second case, she can tell me to fuck off, act like it’s a joke, act like I’m serious, laugh, ect.  Awkwardness is being boxed in.

Laughter is what happens when something unexpected occurs that must be addressed, and the group decides to release the tension rather than let it manifest as awkwardness. Why isn’t this done all the time? Because laughter is a temporary loss of control.  (Keep in mind this is all a subconscious process.)

When someone says something unexpected, observers ping for the perceived social value differential between their current imprint and that of the person who has just spoken.  If the person delivering the joke has more PSV (perceived social value,) or has established enough comfort, the observer releases tension by laughing. If not, they maintain tension, and awkwardness ensues.

Some things, such as applications of the absurd, clever uses of language, and magic, cause a sort of glitch in the brain. Laughter results, but it is STILL a release of tension, and it is STILL caused by something unexpected being observed.

The advantage though, is that the PVD (perceived value differential) is far less important because it is not the man, but the material, “making” them laugh.  There is still a strong correlation, however, as David Blaine and Conan O’Brian, who have monstrous PSV, will get far better reactions with the same material and delivery than someone without such high PSV.

This explains both why the guy at the top of the social circle gets the most laughs, often for things that are not funny, and also why most people aren’t funny at all. Because they have been conditioned NOT to say things that deviate very far from what is expected. The more unexpected the statement, the more potentially funny; and the more potentially awkward.

How do we learn to BE funny?
Same way we learn to BE naturally attractive.
By eliminating the Ego, learning to be 100% expressive, making a habit of saying whatever pops into our heads, and not hanging around people who will condition us to avoid such behaviors.
This is an instance where your old friends who see themselves and you as “normal” will really stunt growth, as they will impose limiting beliefs on you and punish you for acting outside the box they have constructed for you.

The easiest way to start is something I learned from Russell Brand.
Substitute an uncommonly used word or phrase for a commonly used one.
People are always constructing an expectation about what’s about to happen.
When you foil that expectation, tension is created.

Example:
(You’re at starbucks ordering coffee)
“Hello, I’m thirsty, I’d like a latte.”
Vs
“Hello, I’m thirsty, I’d like some sort of caffeinated libation.”

The first request is utterly predictable, the second often elicits a smile or giggle, simply because it breaks the pattern of boredom and predictability that permeates the poor barista’s existence.
This is unlikely to make a girl crack up, but it’s also unlikely to cause her to be rude, or to hold the tension and create awkwardness either.

On the other hand:
“Hey, you had such a nice body I had to come over here and see what your personality was like.”
Vs
“Hey, you had such a nice personality I had to come over here and see what your body is like.”

The first is just kinda sleezy, the second, which is unexpected and satirical, has a lot more upside, but can result in a much rougher response if the girl does not feel you are “good enough” to act that way.  (Keep in mind this isn’t a conscious process of assessment, people aren’t generally aware that they will applaud behavior in some people and condemn the same behaviors in others.)

When studying breaking rapport, you’re essentially studying ways to exhibit unpredictable behavior. Rapport is a feeling of understanding the other person, so what is not expected by definition breaks rapport. The more outlandish the break, the more attraction it will inspire; but the more value or comfort you must have for the girl to be willing to laugh and disperse the tension. The smaller the break, the less tension is creates, and the more likely a woman will be to relieve that tension. The less attraction or compliance you have once the woman assesses you, the smaller the breaks you must use to ensure her natural response is to relieve tension rather than hold it and create awkwardness. If the tension you create is suitably small, it will be socially unintelligent of her not to relieve it. (Keep in mind there are two sides to this: her laughter response is not conscious, while her compliance response is.)

Everyone sees patterns, that’s how the brain functions.  Anything that defies expectation breaks the anticipated patten and creates tension.  Tension must be released to avoid awkwardness.  Laughter is the easiest way to release tension.  A man who can inspire laughter is a man who can control the people around him.

Till next time guys,
If you don’t know what to say, just say something.
Love ya!
-The Braeden

 

Categories: Attraction, Communication & NLP, General, Outer Game

Five Percent

By The Braeden on June 3, 2011 Comments: 4

Failure is the tuition you pay for success.
-Walter Brunell

One of the big issues people have is shouldering social pressure.

The social pressure that comes with approaching, the social pressure that comes with asking personal questions, the social pressure that comes with escalating and closing, and the social pressure that comes with expressing ones self in a way that is different from everyone else.

But this pressure does not really come from society. It comes from within us.

It comes from the fear that we’re not the biggest pimp ever, the fear that we’re no better than the people we laugh at, the people we mock, the people we look down upon. It comes from our ego.

From the desire to protect a false ideology about how special we are. We in the industry are not entirely without fault either. What do we tell people?
Get any girl!
Get ALL the girls!
Real PUAs get 10 out of 10!
Real MEN don’t get rejected!
If you get rejected it’s cause you’re not GOOD enough yet!

Bullshit.

I have students all the time afraid to approach because on an emotional level they view every interaction as a referendum on their stature as a man. But you know what? Real men fail.

The most successful people in the world are the people with the courage and resolve to fail more than anyone else. And they keep failing, for the whole of their lives.

Michael Jordan won six NBA championships, and missed 12,345 shots in the NBA. He lost 26 games at the buzzer, by missing the shot that would have won his team the game.
Barry Bonds hit more home runs than anyone in baseball, he struck out 1539 times.
Thomas Edison famously figured out 999 ways not to make a lightbulb.

To be great at anything you must become a master of failure. Once you are, you keep right on failing, you just stop noticing. With girls, it’s exactly the same. Guys want to get 90 or 95 or 99 or 100 percent of the girls they open. Yeah, right. That sort of expectation is just going to make your anxiety worse.

Instead, start shooting for five percent.

Now some of you my read that and think, “what! I can do better than that now!”
Well, are you with a new hot girl every night?
No?
Then if you can or can’t do better than five percent is irrelevant, cause you’re not going out and trying.

At any decent venue there will be twenty hot girls that come through between ten and two. Hit on them ALL. Get yourself to five percent. Once you’re hitting around there, everything will change. You’ll literally be able to go out any day of the week and bring a hot girl home. The more girls you’re with, the less you’ll care about the outcome with any individual girl, and the more all the girls will start to want you.

Now here’s a tasty tidbit for all you romantics out there. You will be able to get 100 percent of a certain kind of girl. And that’s any girl who’s already a part of your life who sees you swamped with hotties. Girls want what other girls want. So if there’s “one special girl” you’ve got your eye on, the fastest way to guarantee getting her is to go out and fail till you get yourself to five percent.

Now go get rejected by 19 girls!

Till next time guys,
If you don’t know what to say, just say something.
Love ya!
-The Braeden

Categories: General, Inner Game, Outer Game, Seduction Tips

Hook!

By The Braeden on May 27, 2011 Comments: 9

Curiosity is as much the parent of attention, as attention is of memory.

-Richard Whately

 

 

Some of you may find opening frustrating, I’ve included an old article from my journal that helped me a while back, and will provide context for a discussion on hooking:

“On opening:
This has been driving me mad.
I have been getting blown off SO much while opening.  I’ve been trying to avoid super direct or overly breaking rapport openers in the interest of building comfort first.  It’s not working and it’s making me crazy.  MUCH thinking and field testing has led me to something I’m calling…
Bum Theory.
Hot girls get hit on constantly.
And just like people dismiss bums and don’t think of them as human, hot girls treat guys of lower perceived social value the same way.  Indirect game teaches that to avoid this, you don’t let her know you are hitting on her.
BUT…
Hot girls ALWAYS assume guys of lower PSV (perceived social value) are hitting on them.
As long as a girl does not decide she WON’T sleep with you, you are fine; the point of indirect game is to prevent her from making that decision.
BUT…
If your perceived social value isn’t high enough, they immediately make the assumption you want them, realize they find you repugnant; and blow you off as though you are garbage rather than a human being.
Thus defeating the purpose of indirect game.
So how can we get around getting blow off like a bum?
The same way bums do.
As I see it, there are two circumstances in which a bum can cause people to perceive him as human.  The first is to be an empathy inducing bum archetype, the Santa Cllaus bum or the Morgan Freeman bum, basically the bum equivalent of having high enough perceived social value that you are the exception to the rule.  The second is to stand out.  To be differentiated from the heard.  The easiest way to do this is to bring value.  To make people laugh, for example.

In any situation, the best openers are the ones that hit that particular situation’s “sweet spot.”
They are intense enough to pull every one’s attention to them and be more interesting than anything else that’s going on; but they are close enough to the intensity level of the situation that they don’t make you seem socially awkward to the people you are delivering them to. “

Once I figured out how to hook, I wrote up how it worked, hope it helps some of you:

Some people have enough PSV that everyone is just nice to them.  They start out getting some of the six behaviors girls give guy who are not yet perceived as human. Who they view as beneath them.  For other guys, the set must be unlocked.  This is what most people refer to as the hook point.

The hook point is where the girl relaxes, it’s also where she becomes willing to invest.

Before this point, any attempt to “pass her the ball,” to ask for contribution or investment, will result in the girl acting cold and disinterested.  Before the set is unlocked, she will avert eye contact, use breaking rapport tonality, give one word answers, ect.  And doing things such as asking open ended questions will actually exacerbate the situation, creating negative investment as the girl exerts energy to minimize interacting with you.

To hit the hook point and “unlock” the set or the girl, you must do something that differentiates you enough to make her interested in having an interaction with you.  Being very attractive allows you to do this simply by walking up. Fame has the same effect.  Let’s assume you have lower PSV.

There are two ways I know of to hook.

One is to deliver a very well calibrated “opener,” a single phrase, sentence, or question that has an intensity level that meshes with the sets current intensity level (reality) and brings value.
For two girls having a quiet conversation in a bar, a current event might be enough, for girls doing shots at a club something much harsher or provocative might be necessary.

If the opener isn’t intense enough, it’s value taking, and they will eschew your company.
If the opener is too intense, it will be outside their reality, and you’ll get the same result.

Going too far tends to be better, as getting blown out takes far less time than wasting time with girls who will sit politely but have no interest. Girls like this can waste literally hours, and often they have no interest even in being friends.

The other way is to draw the set into your rhythm.
Be the music.
To do this you need to talk for long enough that you sub-communicate various things such as being self amusing, being non needy, being chill, and ideally some level of irreverence to prepare them for leading and escalation.

Walking up with a single line is like a teaser for a movie, walking up and spewing a paragraph without ever waiting for a response or asking for investment is like seeing a trailer.

An example:
Bad: Hey, this place seems hopping, is it a good place to go on a friday night?

Why it’s bad: you’re walking up and taking value, immediately asking for investment.

Good: Hey, this place seems hopping, is it a good place to go on a Friday night? I’m not sure if you noticed but I’m not from around here, I’m actually from Australia, but I’m in town and I thought I’d go out and explore the New York City nightlife. People seem very friendly here. You guys seem cool, tell me tell me what you think about this conversation I’ve been having with a friend.  By buddy Sam is a doctor, and he’s been dating this girl. She wants to be his girlfriend, and he likes her a lot… but his social circle is very affluent, and she works at waffle house. Do you guys think it’s ok to be shallow like that?

Why it’s good: you have the time to show your personality. How you talk, how you move, your face and eyes, your rhythm and your un-reactiveness. You’re also bringing value by asking about something interesting and by virtue of your expressiveness and ability to vibe.

This draws some sharp parallels to old school canned game.
Even then, material was supposed to function as training wheels, and was largely present to get guys past the hook point so they could have a “real” interaction.
When the transition to “natural” game took place, one of the principles that was lost was how to hook.
Transitions were suggested, but the issue was that students would learn a structure and an interaction would look like this:

Open/wait for response
Transition/wait for response
Opinion opener/wait for response
Request for commonalities/wait for response

And this was considered ideal.
What normally happened was:
Open/girls stare blankly
Transition/girls communicate awkwardness
OO/girls call you out for being “one of those guys”
Request commonalities/ girls say they don’t “do” anything

What’s the underlying issue?
In Adam’s formula, A=(C-R)+Q+SE, you cannot begin making headway until the girl is willing to invest in the interaction.
If you ask for investment before this point (the hook point) the girl simply refuses.
If you try and build commonalities she won’t give you anything, and if you try to break rapport she just uses it as an excuse to walk away.

What allows you to actually utilize the formula?  The ability to hook a set.  To build just enough curiosity that the girl is willing to act treat you like a person, rather than a non entity or someone she wants to get away from.  In fact, asking questions before the girl wants to talk to you can have the opposite effect of asking them after she is interested.  I call this negative investment.
Negative investment is where a girls distaste for you is exacerbated by you asking for investment from her. It creates space between her opinion of you and her opinion of people she doesn’t know. You’re getting further and further away from even being considered normal.

Let’s look at a set where the girl gets pulled in, taken from a set I ran at the Galleria in Houston:

Excuse me, so sorry to bother you, do you know where the nearest restroom is? I think I may have drank too much water, or perhaps my bladder just isn’t big enough. I wonder if I could get good parking for that. How often do you have to pee?

Uh… not TOO often…

You seem pretty comfortable at the moment. I may seem a bit off, but it’s just the caffeine. No hard drugs, I drive a lot, so I can’t be doing crack or heroin, as it wouldn’t be socially responsible. What’s your favorite recreational drug?

Um… alcohol?

Really? you look like a coke girl. All skinny and such. You must not be doing drinking too much, since you’re not a fattie. Unless you just burn it all off. Are you a triathlete? Or do you just get really randy when you’re drunk? No judgement.

haha, no, I just have a good metabolism

Have you tried alcoholic whip cream?

No but I really want to!

You have to come by, what’s the best way to get in touch with you?

phone… xxx-xxx-xxxx

Cool, what are you doing right now? I want Starbucks, walk with me.

I thought you had to go to the bathroom!

I just met you! I need trust, comfort, and connection before we can “go to the bathroom.”

giggles No! that’s not what I meant

Oh yeah, I must have forgotten about it talking to you. You have magical bladder expanding properties. We’ll hit one on the way to the coffee. I’m going to get something with chocolate…

 

So what happened here?
When I walked up the girl was not interested in talking to me, but she was pulled in because I had time to demonstrate more of my personality that simply delivering a line and waiting to see if she likes me.  Often when the initial pattern of the interaction is question/response, it becomes apparent that the guy is actually interested in the girl very quickly, but he hasn’t shown her anything that would make her be interested in him, so consequently it’s “us vs them,” we’re trying to shatter the ‘ol bitch shield while they’re trying to get out of talking to us.
This rarely works.
Most of the time the sets that go well are the sets where the girl doesn’t have to think about your motivations until after you’ve shown her you’re a cool guy.  In this interaction there’s enough initial talking so that rather than me vs her, it’s both of us working together.
Me and you VS the world, girl!
The other benefit of the ramble here is that is pulls her onto my rhythm rather than the other way around.

Most of the time when a guy talks to a girl the rhythm of the interaction looks like this:

guy: blah      blah      blah
girl: blahblahblah
guy: blah   blah   blah
girl: blahblahblah
guy: blah blah blah
girl: blahblahblah
guy: blahblahblah

Here the girl pulls the guy onto her rhythm. Not attractive. Every girl wants a guy with a stronger reality than themselves, and talking is like music, people speed up or slow down to it.
Beginning the set without space between your opener, qualifying statement, and transition helps you to pull her onto your rhythm, rather then the other way around. When guys say “be the music,” this is what they mean.  Her reality is affected by yours, yours is NOT affected by hers.

Till next time guys,
If you don’t know what to say, just say something.
Love ya!
-The Braeden

 

Categories: Attraction, Communication & NLP, General, Openers & Routines, Outer Game

Zen Opening – How to Talk to Any Woman Without Rejection

By The Braeden on May 14, 2011 Comments: 3

There’s no meaning to a flower unless it blooms.

-unknown

 

It’s great to be able to have the perfect opener in your pocket.  To look at a situation and know the one liner that will instantly hook the girls and get you “in.” Lots of times I can do that.  Lots of times students want me TO do that.

But there’s a problem.

When the students are with me, they walk up and deliver the line I give them.

“Do you guys think you could live in a house built of legos?”
“Do you like asians? Cause I am one.”
“Who lies more, lawyers or gobline?”
“Do I look like an arms dealer?”
“Premature ejaculation, what are your thoughts?”

And the girls light up and want to talk to them.  The opener creates a reaction.  But when they leave program, they run into a wall.

Now when they walk up, there’s a barrier between themselves and that place where the girl’s are willing to invest in the interaction.  This can create MASSIVE issues if the guys get negative feedback that hinders them from opening next time they see a girl they want.

It’s as though when they’re with me, I can unsheathe Excalibur and bequeath it’s holy majesty upon the students, eliciting wide eyed wonder as unwitting girls are bathed in the awe of it’s glorious presence.

 

Then the guys go home and when they open they’re wielding…
Something else.

 

The girls just sort of stare at them, then each other, then back at the guy, as if to say, “what are you going to do with THAT?”  Then the guy just sort of slinks off abashedly.  Or stays in set with girls who are making fun of him when he’s not looking, or even more irritatingly, are polite for an hour before letting him know they have no desire to ever talk to him again.

Perhaps you’ve heard the maxim: you can open with anything.

This is true, but like most simple ideas, it’s a condensation of many understandings that allows more advanced practitioners to communicate with greater alacrity.  You can open with anything congruent with both the emotional state of the set, and their perception of your value relative to theirs.  Each of the openers listed above works in a certain situation, and bombs in others.  When I look at a set and tell the student what to say, I’m attuned to the emotional reality of the set, and spit out an opener based on perception.  When the student goes out on his own and spits out something I gave him, he’s blind to that emotional reality, and so his opener is uncalibrated.  Using canned openers is like being pulled on a surfboard behind a boat, you can get a good ride, but you’re not learning to stand up on your own.

On the other hand, Zen opening allows you to condition yourself to take right action, while also reducing your outcome dependence and teaching you to become attuned to the emotional reality of the girls you interact with.

How’s it done? Simple.

You see a girl you like, you don’t TRY to get her.  Rather, you immediately walk up, touch her to get her attention, and then just let whatever comes out of your mouth happen.  What you say, after all, counts for very little anyway.  People hook up more in foreign countries than almost anywhere else. Often they can’t even speak the same language.

It’s less about learning to manipulate the girl, and more about learning to trust yourself.

Be warned, you’ll bomb for a while.  At first, your brain will punish you for exposing your ego in order to spare you the pain of seeing a more accurate map of reality. A reality in which you aren’t the big pimp you like to believe you are, the big pimp society tells you all worthwhile men must be.  But once you do it enough, your brain will relent and start doing the things it’s programmed by literally BILLIONS OF YEARS OF EVOLUTION to do: make the girl want to mate with you.

This is Zen opening.
This is the key to taking consistent action.

Till next time guys,
If you don’t know what to say, just say something.
Love ya!
-The Braeden

 

Categories: Attraction, General, Inner Game, Openers & Routines

Justification Layers – Why Humor Works Wonders with Women

By The Braeden on May 10, 2011 Comments: 4

Any work that aspires, however humbly, to the condition of art should carry its justification in every line.

-Joseph Conrad

Justification is, of course, a massively powerful tool in terms of interpersonal communication.
For a full rundown on it’s application in pickup, come to a bootcamp where we discuss psychological studies and all sorts of things having to do with it.

In this article, we’re going to talk specifically about using justification for the purposes of hooking and humor.

Justification is always present; but game cannot be indirect without a stated justification, since if it’s NOT stated, the justification is automatically that you want something. With enough value, not justifying things is a form of not qualifying yourself.
If Johnny Depp wants to meet a girl, he can open with: “I want starbucks,” and hold out his hand, and if she knows who he is, the combination of his looks, style, sub-communications, fame, wealth, social proof, and excellence in his craft will most likely result in the girl shyly and giddily taking his hand and following him to Starbucks.
If you’re reading this, you’re probably not a gorgeous award winning A list celebrity famous for creating iconic characters.
So in the same way that we’ll invest in the girl before we ask her to invest in us, we’ll qualify ourselves to the girl before we start asking her to qualify herself to us.
Now at this point, you may be thinking to yourself, “But The Braeden, isn’t it bad to qualify yourself to the girl?
Keep reading, we’re going to flip the script.

When you start talking, when you open, you want to keep talking till the girl relaxes, till she hooks.
I do this in front of students and they get really intimidated.
“How do you keep talking like that?” they ask me, I like to think in a sort of awed tone.
“Just keep talking,” I respond; but it’s not really the most useful answer.
In a sense it is, because the ability to just ramble on is very important, and until you just let yourself spout off you won’t realize that saying whatever is often better than saying the things you’ve been taught all your life are “good enough” for polite conversation, because girls have heard all those things thousands of times.

I asked myself, how can someone who is used to being very technical or very terse, the kind of person who has spent his life studying numbers or computers, suddenly go from talking for four seconds at a time to talking for forty seconds at a time?

By Justifying.
Everything you say you can give a reason for. This may only double the time you’re speaking for, but that’s where the layers come in.  Justify what you’re asking, then justify that, and on and on. You can go on for as long as you want. I like to keep going till the set hooks. How will you know when it hooks? The girl will relax, or even laugh. If you justify till the girl starts laughing, you’ve gone past qualifying yourself and are actually demonstrating that you’re unconcerned about her opinion of you, giving you that magical “drunk on your own awesomeness” vibe.

Once you hook, you can simply introduce yourself.

Example:

Unjustified statement: I want Starbucks.

Unjustified question: Where is Starbucks?

Unjustified polite question with attention getter: Excuse me, not to bother you but do you happen to know where the nearest Starbucks is?

(Layer one) Justified polite question with attention getter: Excuse me, not to bother you but do you happen to know where the nearest Starbucks is? It’s just that I really need some caffeine.

(Layer two) Justified polite question with attention getter: Excuse me, not to bother you but do you happen to know where the nearest Starbucks is? It’s just that I really need some caffeine. I think I have an addiction.

(Layer three) Justified polite question with attention getter: Excuse me, not to bother you but do you happen to know where the nearest Starbucks is? It’s just that I really need some caffeine. I think I have an addiction.  They say that you know you’re addicted when you need something to feel normal, and I’m pretty sure that’s where I’m at, I can’t even function without coffee.

(Layer four) Justified polite question with attention getter: Excuse me, not to bother you but do you happen to know where the nearest Starbucks is? It’s just that I really need some caffeine. I think I have an addiction.  They say that you know you’re addicted when you need something to feel normal, and I’m pretty sure that’s where I’m at, I can’t even function without coffee. I think it has something to do with my endocrine system.

(Layer five) Justified polite question with attention getter and introduction: Excuse me, not to bother you but do you happen to know where the nearest Starbucks is? It’s just that I really need some caffeine. I think I have an addiction.  They say that you know you’re addicted when you need something to feel normal, and I’m pretty sure that’s where I’m at, I can’t even function without coffee. I think it has something to do with my endocrine system. Not that I know what an endocrine system does, but it sounds like it would regulate something like that.  I’m Braeden, by the way.

Make sense? I mean, I know it’s intimidating. The idea of walking up to someone and rambling like a moron for three minutes; but for those who can open yet are having issues getting interactions to the point where the woman is willing to invest or contribute, try it out and let me know how it works for you.

Till next time guys,
If you don’t know what to say, just say something.
Love ya!
-The Braeden

PS: I’ll respond to comments just as soon as I, uh, figure out how. It’s not that I’m dumb, it’s just that I’m not sure I can be me without taking extra steps. Like I might have to sign in a specific place to comment so you know it’s me doing it. Rather than just someone using my name. Cause that would obviously be pretty confusing, if there was just someone named “The Braeden” responding to comments; but it wasn’t me. And how would you know? I mean you’re not psychic after all. It’s not as though you have some sort of psychocognitory powers you honed to a razors edge whilst studying at Xavior’s school for gifted youngsters between saving the world, usually from your mood swinging or mind controlled teammates. Or maybe you are, maybe you’re reading my mind right now, I don’t know. Go ahead, try it. Am i thinking about girls? Or food? Or perhaps Street Fighter? I love food, I may actually go get a burger right now. Cause I’m hungry.

 

Categories: Attraction, Communication & NLP, General, Openers & Routines

The Three Habits – What Makes Some PUA's a Success?

By The Braeden on February 26, 2011 Comments: 7

The Three Habits

The law of the harvest is to reap more than you sow. Sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit, and you reap a character; sow a character, and you reap a destiny.

-Charles Read

 

On occasion, we get a student who just needs to overcome some random issue and all of a sudden girls love him.  Far more often, becoming a man who enjoys an abundance of women in his life requires a more time consuming transformation.  What makes some students capable of making that transformation while others fall from the path?

Habits.

So I’ve taken it to be my job not to get girls for students, but rather to help them incorporate the habits that will result in them getting girls for themselves.  (I can’t get rid of that ring for you, but here’s a vial of nice glowing water, don’t lose it!)  I’ve distilled these into three habits, which I will share with you now.

Keep in mind, these aren’t things that some students get results with, rather, almost everyone who has ever gone from being bad to great with women has had to master all three of these habits. Become the exception by learning the rules.

 

Habit One: Take Right Action

There comes a time in every man’s life when he is faced with the decision between what is easy and what is right.

-Lots of awesome people


(Be like Supes. Shown here terrifying a family by ramming their automobile into a rock.)

This is the most important thing… YOU WILL EVER READ.  Take right action.  Do what you know needs to be done.  Nothing else matters if you don’t do this.

No matter what else you do, there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who take what they want out of life, and those who let life pass them by.  What you feel is dictated by what you’ve been doing. Most people base their decisions about what they will do on how they feel at the time, creating self perpetuating feedback loops. Some people, the great minority, base the actions they take on what is most effective, and then derive feelings of happiness and fulfillment from doing what they know they should be doing, thus creating positive feedback loops irrespective of their circumstances.

By all means, be honorable, be compassionate, be righteous in thought and deed… but do what needs to be done to live the life you want, to meet the people you want in it, to have the adventures you want to have.  From the standpoint of pickup, taking right action basically applies to shouldering social pressure and doing what needs to be done to bring you closer to being in bed with a girl you like.

Opening her: you miss all the shots you don’t take. I don’t care if you use the most complex indirect set merging stealth tactic or if you whistle and slap your ass.

Do SOMETHING.

If you can’t make yourself do something, give money to a friend or have them hit you if you don’t open. You don’t have to be disciplined enough to do something you can’t make yourself do. You only have to want it enough to gain leverage over your emotions by giving away something you HAVE to get back and putting yourself in a position where you have no choice.

After opening, you have to shoulder social pressure in order to progress the set.  Making lame fluff talk till she wanders away bored is not taking right action.  Move the set forward.  Find out what she is passionate about, do something strange and fun, and talk about sex.

These are all things that feel weird, because you’ve been conditioned to say shit that causes girls to literally flee from boredom, because it’s safe and generic enough they can’t call you creepy.

And finally you have to take right action and shoulder the social pressure by closing. You’ve got to isolate, you’ve got to ask for info, you’ve got to go for the makeout, you’ve got to pull.  You’ve got to be more than some guy, you’ve got to be her fantasy.  What’s in a number?  Girl’s don’t dream about an awesome guy getting their number!  Girl’s dream of being swept off their feet.

Get a rolling start: use the Social Gearshift.
You’re probably not going to go from standing around like a fun barnacle to spewing forth incredible game. State needs momentum to build.
Think of it like a gearshift.
You start in neutral,
Go to first: walk around, make eye contact, smile, nod, say “hello.”
Go to second: give high fives, compliments, ask people about their day.
Go to third: say things that don’t require a response, but may garner one anyway. Short questions (are you an artist?), funny statements (I’ve got shoes just like that,) or offers to vibe (how you doing?) fall into this category.
Go to fourth: here’s where you begin to force interactions. “Pardon me, I hate to stop you but…” This gear is where you’re not just approaching, you’re opening. She’s going to talk to you here.
And fifth is just over the top, the stuff that comes out of your mouth when you’re in deep state and everything you do is awesome.
Work your way up, shift through the gears. Keep in mind that there won’t be enough hot girls to be able to address them alone. The other benefit of the social gearshift is that it conditions you to  be a generally social person. Everyone you meet allows you to pump your state, and everytime you do it you get better at adding value to strangers lives.

 

Habit Two: Have Fun

Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.

-Michael Jordan

If you’re not having fun, she won’t be either. Remember that the stronger reality swallows the weaker reality. This isn’t cosmic ju-ju, this is supported by science. Whatever you feel, she feels, if you’re terrified, you will not be providing her with a pleasant experience.
Take right action comes first, because approaching may terrify you, but you have to do it anyway.  It’ll get better.  Figure out ways to have fun.  It’s better to have fun and game in a sub-optimal fashion than to condition yourself to hate going out and practicing.

One of the things that will help is building social momentum and opening as soon as you arrive at the venue.  The nights where I go out, walk in, and stand about tend to be much lamer than the nights where I talk to people on the street on the way to the venue, talk to people in line, and open the first set I see as I walk in.  Those nights are MUCH more fun, rather than worrying about what I’m going to do and who I’m going to talk to, I’m just enjoying the company of all the people I encounter.

If you can’t figure out a way to have fun, pick your favorite ladies man, be it Bond or Indiana Jones or Batman or who…ever, and go out and literally do whatever you think he’d do in every situation.  Make it a game.
In fact, if you’re not having fun, it’s time to play… The blow out game.
The blow out game is awesome because you can play it with friends or with strangers, and it’ll lead to either one of them worshiping you as a god.
It’s REALLY simple.
They pick a girl, they give you something to say to her, and you go up and say it.
There are two rules:
One: she needs to be reasonably attractive.
Two: whatever they give you to say can’t be boring, get you arrested, or hurt her feelings. (It can be shocking and offensive. Her slapping you is fine, her crying is NOT.)

Habit Three: Filter for the Positive

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

-Winston Churchill

The best students think about what they did RIGHT.

The best student are not realists, or pragmatists, or objective, or anything associated with being smart. They get good because they are HAPPY when the night is over and that makes them want to practice more.  If I have one student who does ten sets and nine hate him and one is nice to him, and he’s stoked that a stranger treated him with kindness, and another student who gets nine numbers and one girl back turns him, and he’s upset by that one set, who will get better?

You know the answer.

The positive student, thought he starts out far behind, will excel in time, while the negative student, with all his talent, will come to hate the pain that practicing brings.  Filter for the positive at every turn.

Dead night? You get to practice sharp shooting!
Long line? Lot’s of girls stuck in one place who haven’t been hit on too much yet.
Quick blow out? No wasted time!
Get rejected? Great job truing to escalate.
What if you’re a negative person by nature?

Recondition your brain.
With what I call the Temple of Win.

It’s easy, don’t worry about writing field reports or anything like that.  But every time you open, after the set, write down at least one thing that was positive about it.  Review these things every day and soon you’ll start filtering for all the things you do right instead of criticizing yourself all the time and forgetting about the good stuff.
Remember, it’s the process that matters, not the result.  The effort, not the outcome.

The destination does not exist, for even when you arrive, you’ll only have begun another journey.

Till next time guys,
If you don’t know what to say, just say something.
Love ya!
-The Braeden

Categories: General