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I’m going to admit something to you all.  When I first got into this community I was weird…boy was I weird.

You’d see me with the black nails and eyeliner:

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c109/jlsstud13/m_ef2326b8ebe3209f93e2db2a39350732.jpg

If you were lucky maybe even with a pink boa:

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c109/jlsstud13/n18308413_33805560_7608.jpg

However simple peacocking was the least of my problems.  From being a social robot, only being able to talk about game and nothing else, having no social circle except for community guys, using a 10 hour routine stack, reading and fully memorizing every pick up method under the sun, and bouncing from strict step by step methodology to crazy and awkward “natural” game….I had some serious problems.  Thing is though this WASN’T me before the community.  I used to have friends, I used to have girlfriends even, most importantly though I used to be NORMAL.  However I wasn’t happy with my dating life so I had to dedicate my entire existence to pick up in the hopes of becoming something I’m not, and didn’t want to be, just for women.  Seems like a horrible pay off but at least I got the women right?

Now it’s time for the ultimate secret….I was an expert in every major method and practiced regularly but I couldn’t get a girl.  In fact my average close rate was probably one new girl every two months.  I could recite every major handbook word for word but the girls didn’t want to hear it.  I saw the blueprint to game but the girls never followed the script!  What made things even worse is that I LOOKED impressive but ultimately was a continuous failure. 

Here’s another secret…see these women?:

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c109/jlsstud13/n33400331_32455679_475.jpg

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c109/jlsstud13/n577770087_3062468_6445.jpg

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c109/jlsstud13/n8100784_33796285_8123.jpg

I didn’t sleep with any of them.  Not one.  But I sure LOOK like the man right?

I used to think it was honestly just me.  I’d see everyone else getting results and doing well and it was my little secret that I wasn’t one of them.  Until I realized something….something big.  What if I was wrong about everyone else I was seeing and assuming they were getting results the way they assumed I was getting results?!!  Most wanted to deny it, many tried to hide it, but when I got down to the bottom of it I found out I was right…they were all EXACTLY like me.  What was the message?  This isn’t the right way, this isn’t working, it’s time to figure out the problem. And that’s exactly what I did.

Finally a year ago I worked out exactly what I was doing wrong.  I made myself normal, I dropped all canned lines and routines, I took game to a new healthy level not based on strict formats or chaotic and weird “natural” game.  Before I’d close a girl every 2 months…now it’s once a week, and my game still continues to grow!  Obviously something I did began working and now it honestly feels like I do NOTHING in set and it’s ridiculously easy.  When I made the realization it honestly felt like I was trying to figure out how to fly and land a turbo jet to suddenly realizing I just had to drive a car the whole time.  In order for this to happen though I literally had to deprogram myself from old community teachings.  Certain thought patterns and “high value” behaviors continually got in the way of my success. I’m not upset about the process though because everything paved the way for where I am now.  Once I realized how to deprogram myself I worried that it might just be me so I began doing it for friends and eventually even students.  The results I found…amazing. I mean seriously amazing.  This was it, I was on to something really big and now have a way to truly help once and for all everyone in this community.  I finally have a way to help guys become normal, get real results, and be themselves while having fun. Plus keeping things simpler and easier then ever before!   

Welcome friends to Psych’s Deprograming Project.  You will fight and resist to keep the old ways, you will shake your head in disbelief at how complex you made things and how simple they are, you will have everything you know turned upside down (some students have even reported headaches from being deprogrammed since it was so mind blowing), but in the end you WILL see the results you’ve always wanted.  Each and every one of you. 

Step 1 is having a new understanding on what game really is.  Good news?  It’s only 3 things.  Bad news? I’ll save that for next time…

Hope this helps,

Psych

(To read more about me visit my web page at www.puatraining.com/psych and to contact me for any one on one work or bootcamps email me at psych@puatraining.com)

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To many of us look down at ourselves.  We feel we don’t naturally have “high value” or that we have no attractive identity.  To counteract this many guys will fake high value traits and be something they are not and will also lie or exaggerate their identity to make it sound cooler.  This is completely non-needed.  Watch me work any set and I’ll gladly stick out my stomache to make myself look fat, tell the girl I work for some boring company, and proudly declare what a dork I really am without it having any, or else minimal, negative effect.  In reality it’s all about how YOU see yourself.  If the girl can sense that you see yourself as “high value”  and are happy with your identity then it’s OK.  I’m proud to be a dork because I don’t want to live life worried about conforming to what’s cool…that makes me high value.  I’m proud of my boring job because I have ambitions and a plan to do what I’ve always dreamed…this gives me an attractive identity.  This is really a key point also, it doesn’t matter what your identity is now.  What matters is if you have ambition or not.  With this said I’d like to share with you guys a story…

There was once a stonecutter who was unhappy with his lot in life.  One day he saw a wealthy merchant walking down the street in fine clothes.  “How I wish I could be a wealthy merchant!” he cried, and sure enough he magically became one.  He happily continued his day until the king came into town and everyone had to bow before him, regardless of how much money they had.  “How I wish I could be a king and have everyone bow to me!” he cried, and sure enough he magically became one.  While king he noticed that he was becoming increasingly hot and that it was due to the sun. “How I wish I could be the sun since even kings are affected by it’s power!” he cried, and sure enough he became the sun.  While shining down on the earth he noticed something blocking his rays, it was the clouds.  “How I wish I could be the clouds since even the sun can not penetrate it’s might!” he cried, and sure enough he became a cloud.  While a cloud he noticed something moving him and discovered it was wind.  “How I wish I could be wind since it has the power to move everything!” he cried, and sure enough he became the wind.  While he was the wind he wreaked havoc on the land and enjoyed his new power but came across something he couldn’t move, a huge towering stone. “How I wish I could be that stone since even the wind can’t move it!” he cried, and sure enough he became the stone.  Then one day as the stone he felt himself being changed.  “What on earth can be more powerful then I the stone?” he wondered.  He looked down, and to his surprise, he saw a stonecutter.

Hope this helps,

Psych

(To read more about me visit my web page at www.puatraining.com/trainers/psych and to contact me for any one on one work or bootcamps email me at psych@puatraining.com)

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In this post I want to introduce you to the term “Wu Wei”.  Wu Wei means “without doing, causing, or making”.  Practically speaking for us however it means without meddlesome, combative, or egotistical effort.  To do without doing.  Sounds like a problem though, I mean isn’t pick up all about using manipulation tactics to get the girl into bed?

Well it CAN be used that way or it might not, you can either be an amazing manipulator or an amazing man.  That choice is yours though and I’ll admit I’ve definately been both.  To be the amazing man and use Wu Wei though it’s all about letting things happen as naturally as possible with as minimal effort on your part to steer it there.  The reason I’ve seen this work in pick up so well is two things.  First noone likes to be manipulated and even the best manipulators get caught and the girl realizes it.  By trying to force things you’re more likely to push her away.  The second reason I’ve seen is that guys will tend to overanalyze everything and try to micromanage their actions to get the “perfect” result and just end up getting anxiety or acting weird.  In contrast the guy using Wu Wei comes off genuine and enjoys the moment, letting things unfold naturally and only giving slight pushes (minimal effort) to help the pick up. The main lesson here is that when you try to hard it doesn’t work.  The surest way to become tense, awkward, and confused is to develop a mind that tries to hard or thinks to much.   

Lets look at an example to show what I mean here, since this is definately the hardest principle to understand and maybe the most powerful.  If I need to get a village continuous water what I can do is constantly set up elaborate systems to bring water from the river.  However if I just carved a path from the river to the village and let it flow through the village, I’d have used much less effort and gotten much better results, I let the waters own nature do the work for me.  In pick up I could open, transition, try to attract and build comfort, and then begin countless ways of manipulation to get the girl into me.  However I could also understand the girls inner nature (lets say being attracted to preselected men) and just go someplace with hot female friends and let the girl work for me instead.  However the first way should still be known because in some situations the least amount of effort needed would be opening and everything that comes next.  So when using Wu Wei it’s not so much about MAKING things work out, it’s more about LETTING things work out. 

Lets look at another example to show that last point.  Say you’re going to pick up a girl but realize it’s becoming more of a friendzone thing.  The manipulator will try and force the situation to be something it’s not and make the girl like him which just ends up pushing her away.  The man using Wu Wei however will gladly take the girl as a friend and just let it happen, later he invites his friend out to a club and she brings all her girls with her.  Turns out one of them is the guy’s ideal 10 and because they have a mutual friend are introduced in a good way that ends up with them sleeping together.  This is the power of Wu Wei…things begin to just always seem to work out. 

Hope this helps,

Psych

(To read more about me visit my web page at www.puatraining.com/trainers/psych and to contact me for any one on one work or bootcamps email me at psych@puatraining.com)

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Hey guys sorry it’s been a while since my last post but I’ve been really busy working on some new material. I’ll be sharing it with you guys after the Tao of P.U. series and also just got done with a LA bootcamp.  I had an incredible time there and was so proud to have every one of my students get a number and one even got laid during the weekend!  Anyways on to today’s topic…

 We look to those who have the most information for answers.  We seek out guru’s and teachers who have vast amounts of knowledge and are very well learned in the art of pick up and seduction.  However as the founder of Taoism teaches “The wise are not learned, and the learned are not wise.”  The Owl mindset is one many guys in this community have, where it’s all about obtaining vast amounts of information on a subject and repetitive analyzing.  One expression that’s been used for these types of people here are “Key Board Jockies” though the Owl’s out there fit this description and more.  The main difference between a key board jockie and Owl is that Owl’s can actually go in field, though usually they end up talking about game instead of actually doing it.  Even though they have all the knowledge and go out at times these Owl’s still might not be getting good simply because their brain gets in the way. Because of this the deeper and broader realizations of game are simply out of reach.

Owl’s tend to categorize game and put things in little compartments.  We see a tendency of this with very strict and complex pick up structures and also with elaborate routines that are usually not even needed.  The Owl’s would much rather learn intellectually and indirectly from books rather then from Pick Up teachers and even more importantly first hand experience.  Because an Owl doesn’t put social skills and pick up into practice every day he also tends to explain pick up by leaving out important details…such as how and why things work and in what situations you can apply them. 

The thing about Owl’s in this community is that they study the knowledge out there…just for the sake of knowledge.  There’s either to much fear or not enough desire to actually go out and apply anything.  These Owl’s will study everything under the sun then wright pompous and pretentious posts that noone can understand or relate to, rather then writing to inspire and work for the benefit of others.  Usually these posts have crazy complex jargon or big words because they need names for everything.  They basically get off on ego strokes about how smart and clever they are.  Often the knowledge that Owl’s share is hard to understand because it doesn’t match with our own experience.  This then is the key thing, the knowledge that comes from experience, not from book and analyzing things, is the only knowledge worth knowing.  Without experience you might as well be a blind man describing the sun!

So how do we avoid falling into the Owl mindset?  The answer is to game all the time and to everyone.  When I say “gaming” I also don’t mean trying to be manipulative and a social robot, what I mean is actively being social and getting experience interacting with others.  You should be gaming the manager of the grocery store so that every week you get free eggs, the old lady on the bus to brighten her day, the guy behind you waiting on line for the movies that you become friends with and turns out is a photographer and knows tons of models, and yes the hot girl at the club. 

So here’s your homework.  Put down the books, turn off the computer, put on some clothes, shake off the cobwebs, and actually go outside and experience life.  Gain some first hand experience.  Go out and instead of trying to “pick up” just begin meeting people.  Don’t analyze this, don’t make long complex lists detailing how many approaches you’ll do and how long you’ll be out…just go out and enjoy yourself.  The more time you think the less time you take action.

Hope this helps,

Psych

(To read more about me visit my web page at http://www.puatraining.com/trainers/view/18 and to contact me for any one on one work email me at psych@puatraining.com)

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While most of my understanding of game and what I teach comes from psychology, and while I’m not the most spiritual person, I can’t ignore the profound wisdom I’ve found from Taoism.  Specifically from a little book called “The Tao of Pooh” which explains Taoism in comparison to Winnie the Pooh.  After reading it I was amazed to see just how much it not only relates to life but also to Pick Up.  That’s why I’m going to begin a short series of blog posts based on the Tao of P.U. (pick up).

Taoism is simply a particular way of appreciating, learning from, and working with whatever happens in every day life. The natural result of this is happiness.  Taoist understanding changes what others might percieve to be negative into something positive. It also shows how everything in life teaches us valuable lessons and by learning these lessons all will go well. When you let go of arrogance, complexity, and anything else in the way you learn a simple and childlike secret: life is fun.

Easily one can see just how useful having this mindset is in every PU.  To appreciate and learn from every set and every experience with women and be completely at ease and comfortable while doing so makes playing this game fun.  This fun allows you to really be in state and to ooze positivity to those around you.  So fun in fact that our attitude towards PU, and even life, becomes child like and stress free.  Happiness and pleasure are suddenly found in the simplest of things and we begin to shed all our negative mindsets and qualities to become our “true” selves.  If you think about it you already have everything you need, you really do possess all the right qualities, the problem is you possess to many bad ones that need to be discarded.  Really understand this point, it’s not about adding anything to you, it’s only about letting go.  However when your ego or arrogance gets in the way we begin trying to force things, take things to seriously, and make things overly complex which leads to frusteration.

Alright so this all sounds great so far but how do we begin to think, live, and meet women in this way of being?  Well step one is to keep things simple. 

Simplicity creates the ability to enjoy the simple and quiet, the natural and plain, to do things spontaneously and have them work out.  When you’re keeping things simple you can do the silliest things, even things that might not make any real sense, but somehow they just seem to turn out right. This is especially true for PU.

The science of PU is incredibly…and I mean INCREDIBLY….complex.  This is both a blessing and a curse though.  On one hand it’s good to understand the science and know it on an intellectual level, but when it comes to acting on it, to do the pick up itself, it’s always best to just keep it simple and stay simpleminded.  There’s no way to keep track of every complex step and even if you try it’ll almost always end in failure.  Instead staying simpleminded and just doing what feels right in the moment from experience, without complicating things, allows for a much more natural and successful interaction.  Keep in mind that being simpleminded does not mean being stupid.  It just means that while you might have the knowledge you don’t overthink things.  There’s an old saying in the community that smart guys usually have the most trouble with women and the more dumb guys are usually the naturals.  I don’t think it has to do with smart or dumb though, it really is just who stays simpleminded.

Another key concept is by trying so hard to demonstrate attractive qualities in all these complex ways you end up not only qualifying yourself to the girl and raising her value, not only end up investing in the girl more and more which makes you make bad decisions, but you also only get the girl seeing these attractive qualities on a purely intellectual level with no real feelings behind it.  Instead you can just keep things simple SHOW these attractive qualities.  There’s a world of difference between telling a girl all these long and complex DHV stories about how you know so many people and are preselected, and just having girls in your life that you bring out, or else creating social proof and preselection there that she can see.

So now for the first time I want to give you guys some homework and in the nature of this post I’m going to keep it simple.  Go out to meet women and try to stay simpleminded.  For example when you see a girl just say the first thing that comes to mind whatever it may be, “hi” for example.  Instead of trying to do all these complex pick up moves try and just appreciate the interaction for whatever it is and just go with the flow of it while doing whatever feels right at the time.  Finally if you catch yourself having complex thoughts, analyzing things that really don’t matter, or feeling anxious or stressed, either focus on something around you and appreciate it’s simple beauty or else simply decide what you should do and just do it.  For example if your thinking “Oh my god I have so many finals coming up. How am I going to get it all done!  I could study from 12-5 but then I might not absorb it all. I should probably take breaks but it also depends on which chapter I’m studying and…” just switch it to “Hmmm…I’m gonna study now”.

I’d really appreciate hearing how this homework goes for everyone so do this for one week and then please comment here on what you’ve found (good or bad).

Hope this helps,

-Psych

(Anyone in the states who’s interested in doing one on one training please send an e-mail to Psych@puatraining.com)

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You see the perfect girl, you’re blue print, and you’re totally caught off guard.  Maybe you’re out to meet women and maybe you’re not…either way there she is.  Your mind begins to race…direct or indirect, what angle should I approach, do I go now or check things out first, what do I say….WHAT DO I SAY!?

While this is going on you can feel your inner game crumbling and the anxiety begins to build.  New rationalization after rationalization goes through your head since the situation is always changing.  Now the 2 set became a 3 set so you have to re-evaluate. Now they are sitting down which makes a whole new list of openers go through your head. Now a guy has entered, is that a boy friend, a friend, or an AMOG? What happens here is you begin some serious Pre Analysis (sometimes referred to as paralysis of analysis) and begin letting your mind race on how to do the perfect pick up.

Thing is there is never a “perfect” way of doing it…honestly, there isn’t.  By doing this kind of Pre Analysis you are essentially shooting yourself in the foot and is not useful AT ALL.  Sure it can sometimes help to check things out but it should literally only take a second.  Many times the best thing to do is simply begin walking, one foot in front of the other, not knowing what you’re going to say or do.  By the time you approach your mind will begin using it’s power, that was previously holding you back, to now give you something to say.  Look at it this way…

You see the girl and begin walking and have no idea what to say.  You’re freaking out but that’s fine and you finally approach her and come up with “Hi”.  She turns and looks at you and says “Hi” back.  NOW WHAT?! Your mind races and you remember something about opinion openers so you immediately say “I’d like to get your opinion on something”.  She says “OK” and you frantically think of what to say next.  Your mind suddenly remembers you asking your friend earlier in the day about whether you should wear contacts or not so you hear yourself blurt out, “Do you think contacts would be a good look for me or should I stay with glasses?”.  All of a sudden she begins answering and you find yourself in a conversation.

Your mind could also have found something situational to point out, or given a compliment, or maybe made a funny statement.  The point is that you ACTED instead of analysing.  Because the truth is you can’t really analyse a set and know how things will go until you act and see for yourself.  I can’t even begin to count the amount of times that I saw a girl who looked like she had a huge bitch shield up, and gave off that unapproachable vibe, only to turn out to be really warm and receptive.  However there is a time to analyse and that’s after the set.  It’s what’s called Post Analysis and is one of the single best things to do every time a set ends.

By doing Post Analysis you can begin seeing patterns in sets and finding sticking points, give yourself a good understanding of the situation so that you can act more naturally the next time something similar comes up, and allows you to make new insights and epiphany’s into your game.  There should be two types of Post Analysis.  The first should be after the set and the second should be at the end of the night.  The only draw back though is if you do a post analysis after every set you might begin finding yourself in your head to much instead of having fun and enjoying the game, which IMHO is critical.  Personally I do a Post Analysis after every set only if I’m working on a new idea or sticking point or if I’m in the mood where this wont put me in my head.

To get the most from it though I suggest doing the following.  At the end of the night (or right after a set if you prefer) have a small notepad ready.  Begin writing down every single set you did and for each one include these things…

1. Summary:  Write down an abbreviated version of what happened in the set.  (Kind of like a mini FR specific to one set)

2. Problems Encountered:  Here right down where you feel you went wrong in the set and what sticking points occured.  Be as detailed as possible and try and find everything wrong that you can.

3. Possible Solutions: This is where you analyze the problems and think up what possible solutions you could do next time around.  Try and be specific though.  Saying “Show more sexuality” is to broad, instead a much better version would be, “Could try kinoing more by putting arm around the waist and make more sexual eye contact”.

Here’s an example from one of mine back when I was trying to master dance floor game.

Summary: Saw a mixed three set on the dance floor, two girls and one guy.  I approached by mirroring my target and using a high five manuever to get her dancing.  From there I began some swing dancing manuevers to generate comfort and gradually got her dancing away from her group but within eye contact.  Did some nonverbal push pull moves to cycle attraction and comfort and then began having her grind on my knee while we’re face to face.  Began standard kino escalation and was about to go for the kiss but felt something was a bit off…decided lack of comfort.  Began swing dancing again then brought her back in and went for the kiss.  Her friend pulled her back and began asking if everything was fine which she replied yes to while the guy just watched.  We begin dancing again and out of nowhere she says “What’s your name?” I tell her and ask her hers and make slight small talk but continue keeping it sexual.  Finally her friends begin to leave the dance floor and she excuses herself to go join them.

Problems Encountered: Had her friend c%^k block and interfere which also caused her to walk off at end, saw a lack of comfort that had to continually be addressed, the loud club on the dance floor made it almost impossible to talk.

Possible Solutions: Could have danced with group for a bit first after approaching to have her friends more comfortable with me (possibly introduce self to friends first?), Should have exchanged names ASAP, should have isolated during a high point to talk and build rapport away from friends then came back on dance floor and do kiss close (this was probably key),  Be more observant and be ready for an interrupt from her friends such as leaving the dance floor.

Hope this helps,

-Psych

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Now I’d love to say I came up with this…I really would…but the fact is that this was taught to me by my friend JC during the Miami Residential Bootcamp.  For those who don’t know JC is the man who runs a company in London where he literally gets paid to bring out 30+ girls to clubs…I know I hate him to. :)

His game is simple and genius because it heavily relies on this one main principle, to disqualify any DHV’s.  What this basically means, when you break it down in non nerdy pick up terms, is the act of being humble.  We’re taught by this community to, “be alpha”, “be the man”, and show high value, but often this turns into two very unattractive traits.  The two traits being bragging and arrogance.

By disqualifying our DHVs we use four principles which are…

1. Avoid these two traps and also make the DHV come off as more sincere

2. Make ourselves more humble which is attractive

3. Generate more comfort and become more likeable

4. Allows us plausible deniability for future problems

So what exactly does this mean to disqualify your DHV’s?  Well lets look at an example.

Lets say you’d like to number close with a classic “Come out to my party” line and have a really good hook up for the party.  Well there’s two very different ways to go about it.

Guy 1: You should definately come out tonight! I make sure I always know where they hot parties are and I got all the hook ups here cause I know key people hun.  I don’t do this for everyone now, but you and your friends seem cool so I’ll make sure there’s no lines and we get our own VIP and bottle.  Just make sure you only bring hot friends though cause that’s how I role. Let me get your number.

Guy 2: Now I don’t want you to get the wrong idea here, because honestly I’m actually a big dork at heart, but I definately like to have some wild and fun nights. It’s no big deal or anything but my friends and I do some parties at certain clubs, every now and then, and I’d love for you and your friends to come and join us because you all seem fun and down to earth, which is pretty rare here.  We might even be able to get VIP and bottle service to.  Haha I know, super baller right?  Only thing though is the door staff are real dicks and will turn down girls they don’t find attractive.  I absolutely HATE this but there’s really nothing I can do.  So please only bring at least fairly attractive girls cause it’d kill me to have to explain to someone why they can’t get in. Alright, I’ll send you some more details when I get them. What’s the best way to contact you?

Ok lets look at these two guys and break it down a bit.  Guy 1 is obviously being try hard and trying to impress.  What he thinks is alpha and cocky is actually coming off as arrogant and he’s definately making a big deal about his DHV’s to compensate for other short comings.  Guy 2 however disqualify’s every DHV and uses the four principles discussed earlier. 

He uses principle 1 by making every DHV sound truly sincere.  Because he makes it sound like no big deal there’s no question that him and his friends throw club parties and can possibly get VIP and bottle service.  He even makes a joke about it saying “Haha I know, super baller right?”.  Principle 2 is easily seen since he goes out of his way to make sure he doesn’t brag and even though he has connections to some really great stuff he down plays it to come off humble.  Principle 3 kicks in by showing that he doesn’t consider himself better then the girls and is instead an equal and can joke about himself, such as calling himself dorky, which is an extremely useful tactic to make yourself likeable. He also handles the issue of only bringing hot friends along beautifully. Finally principle 4 is covered because he doesn’t truly promise anything and uses key words such as “every now and then”, “should”, and “might”.  Therefore later on if things don’t go exactly according to plan he can easily get out of it.  For example it’s much easier for guy 2 to save face if there’s no bottle service then there’d be for guy 1 who was so certain.

Now the idea of being humble in this way contradicts a major theory out there which is the idea of being Cocky Funny.  However it really doesn’t if both techniques are used properly.  Cocky Funny is a great way to flirt when it’s about things that are obviously exageratted and when done in a playful and kidding manner, such as saying “Yea it’s tough going out and dealing with all those girls always trying to get my number and take me home”, or ”Now don’t get to excited when you see me tomorrow.”  When it comes to ACTUAL DHV’s that you have or perform however it’s always best to use modesty and be humble.  Think of it by the simple rule to act alpha and talk beta.  This doesn’t mean to try and talk down about yourself or actually act beta in any way though.  Instead act alpha and actually show highly attractive qualities and DHV’s but don’t make it a large issue. 

Think of Brad Pitt, would he go around telling people how cool he is, how much money he has, and how he bangs Angelina Jolie every night? Of course not! He’d probably be humble and make things out to not being a big deal…which just makes it that more impressive.

Hope this helps,

Psych

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DO IT OR DON’T DO IT!

This was the motto on the craziest bootcamp I’ve ever had in my life.  The instructors even got henna tattoos of this phrase on our back.  For an entire week, from 9AM to officially 1AM (though unofficially to 5AM), we were either in field or taught theory, ranging from how to open to how to bring a girl back home and do her in the butt.  The course pushed our physical and mental limits to it’s capacity but the results showed.  Every student got multiple numbers, half the students got make outs, and some even slept with girls during the week.  One student in particular I was especially proud of came to us not even being able to give someone a high five and at the end was able to open, hook, transition, and lock in every single time.  On the last day he even decided to show off and walk around the venue with an attractive girl on his arm…as an instructor I’ve never been more proud.

Having the bootcamp in my home town on spring break was perfect since every where you looked there was a hot girl in a bikkini and the nightlife in miami is second to none.  The students seemed to truly appreciate it and even more so appreciated the way the bootcamp was set up.  One student even took a bootcamp with another company, won’t mention names, and said it felt impersonnel while on this one he truly felt that both the students and the instructors made it feel like a family.  Anyone familiar with our style of game knows we promote three core things…

1.  Having a NORMAL approach as opposed to dressing or acting in weird incongruent ways

2. Having a NATURAL style that fits you which is not based on routine stacks or some rigid structure or system

3. Theory based on REAL psychological research and direct experience as opposed to made up ideas that just sound good.

Since everything we do is based on these three core principles it coms to no surprise why our students have such a fun time, a deep understanding of game, and after only a week become more advanced then other “PUA”s who’ve done this for years.  In fact while at one club one of students found another “PUA” and decided to wing with him to see what he’s like, other then us he’s never seen one, and was extremely surprised.  While he was laughing and having a genuinly fun time with his girl he observed the other “PUA” performing the best friends test and being creepy to the other one.  His girl even said “I think you’re really great and fun but you’re boy is kind of weirding out my friend, I’ll come back later though if you’ll still be around.”  This more then anything demonstrates the next wave of this community and hopefully the direction we’ll be going towards.

What was truly amazing though was the number of instructors who turned up for this event coming from across the world, all of which had the most amazing game I’ve ever seen and I’ve winged with the best in this community.  You had…

Cenk: While not quite being physically attractive and slightly overweight this man is EASILY one of the best 10 PUAs in the world.  His knowledge of game and deep understanding trumps anything I’ve ever seen yet he comes across as an incredibly normal and fun guy.  I’ve also never in my life met someone as kind hearted and humble as Cenk which are extremely rare qualities.  I’ve seen for myself this man get an email from an FHM model who’s easily an 11 in my book that was about three paragraphs long who was so obviously deeply attracted to him that it seemed unreal.  For the benefit of all of you I truly hope you’ll be seeing and hearing more from this guy.

Declan: This irish PUA never let the party stop and was the only other PUA I’ve ever met to actually match me in keeping the fun times going.  On one of the nights we both kept things going until 8am and had to wake up at 9am. If you’d ever see him in field it’d look like just some average guy having a blast and running crazy but there was pure genuius behind the madness that he was always able to break down.  Whether it was building social proof, isolating girls, or finding crazy ways to add value make no mistake Declan knew exactly what he was doing every time.  While another PUA would be focusing on handing out Negs Declan would already be carrying the girl off into the ocean.

Jos:  This man is the leader of project entourage and for a living brings out on average 60 something girls to a nightclub.  His networking ability and girl managing are second to none.  He single handedly gave me the best piece of advice on this entire bootcamp that since putting to use has made my game drastically increase. Expect a post on what this is soon!  While he carrys himself in a confident and likeable way where you know the man is used to many women he’ll be the first to admit that he’s actually just a big geek.  This man adds value to everyone who enters this life and I can’t wait to meet up with him again in the summer.

Gambler: Anyone here knows who this man is so he really needs no introduction but it was great to meet him for the first time.  He comes across very relaxed and smooth and is a genuinly good person.  I was privliged to see him in action and have never seen someone with such spot on body language who was so naturally comfortable in set.  He also did a talk for local lair which people are still talking about.  He’s a great guy and someone I consider a friend and would love to meet again.

Ayman: Unfortunately I wasn’t able to see much of Ayman but everything I did see I truly liked about this man.  When we did wing together he was always able to hold his own and is a true master at sexual escalation.  His dry british humor always had the house laughing and things always became better when he came around.  Also after a talk with him on the very first day lead me to a deep understanding of a topic which I’ll write about here and the credit truly goes him, so keep a watch for that.

Andy: This is the man who takes care of the puatraining website so at first I didn’t think much of his game but my god was I wrong.  Andy would open everything in site with ease and even pulled a girl home during the bootcamp.  His way of learning is by far the best since he learns from every mistake and simply alternates to try something new next time, at this rate within one year he’ll easily be one of the greats out there.  He was an incredibly warm and down to earth guy who always had his students seeing results in the field.  This man NEEDS to become a full instructor, it’s fair for you guys not to have him in my opinion.

Ace: I don’t even know where to begin with him.  Not only is his game one of the tightest I’ve ever seen (and again I’ve seen a LOT), not only was he the best public speaker in the house, but he SERIOUSLY battled it out with Cenk for the nicest guy in the house.  Everything Ace did was either kind hearted, histerical, or when it came to game simply amazing.  Early in the bootcamp he royally messed up his legs on the beach to where he could barely walk and I don’t recall a single time I ever heard one complaint.  The topics he covered also were amazing to both begginners and advanced alike where new and easy to use concepts were perfectly explained.  My favorites included, accepting offers and then adding, why nice guys DON’T finish last, and the how to properly cycle between high status and low status behavior for success.

Dharam: I was anxious to meet the day game expert and wasn’t at all disappointed.  While he’ll act humble saying things like “It’s all just marketing” I’ve seen for my own eyes how every word said about him is true.  I first realized how good this guy is when while walking along Lincoln Ave he literally raced across the street to open a girl that ws actually getting on a bus!  Since then I’ve seen him easily get a number or email 100% of the time for every day time approach, it was amazing to watch.  Other then day game I’d say his plowing skills are also by far the best I’ve seen, his nickname on the bootcamp actually became “Mr. Plow”.

Alex: Our NY based instructor who is a true master at natural game and expressing alpha characteristics.  It wasn’t a rare event to see a HB9 open him and his mastery at breaking rapport had me laughing with tears in almost every set we did.  This man only pulls true quality and was also one of the only instructors who could keep up partying with me throughout the entire night.  I easily call him a true friend and am so glad to have him as part of the team.

Amanda: As our only female instructor Amanda acted as the unofficial mom of the house, without her I don’t know how ANYTHING would have gotten done.  She talked on great topics that gave the students a unique perspective in the mindsets of gorgeous women, since she’s one herself, and having her around I truly felt boosted every students confidence and comfort with women in general.  Unlike many other female instructors out there noone can ever say Amanda doesn’t know her stuff or work incredibly hard for the students…especially to her face if they want to live.  She came out into the field with us every time and was one of the most influential instructors out there.

Having a house with 11 instructors of this caliber it’s no wonder why every student got incredible results and will continue to push themselves to greatness.  I would honestly not be surprised to see one or two of the students from this bootcamp come back in a year or two as an instructor.  I can’t wait for the next residential and will hopefully get to see you there!

….oh and AFC Adam was there to ;)

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Psych: I don’t get it man, how do you always have this energy to you. You seem to always just be ON, always “in state”. How do I always stay “in state”?

AFC Adam: Mate…there is no state.

This was a part of one of our many conversations but unfortunately I never got to follow up with the logical reply. “What the hell does that mean?!”

After every mediocre night, or when I was just feeling down when out doing anything, those words would ring in my head. “There is no state”. Finally I felt I understood and the rest of this article’s purpose is to explain my understanding. Whether it’s what he meant I have no idea though.

When we talk about getting in state we mean getting into the zone. That feeling of pure confidence and uncaring, where we can do no wrong and all anxiety leaves us. It’s where we can truly be ourselves and act exactly how we want, without self doubt. This is something we all desire and seem to achieve for brief moments in field after warming up or getting success.

The thing is though that this way of being, “in state”, is our natural place. We really don’t go “in state” we only leave it. This is the first real step to understanding this. Never try to get in state again…simply go back to your natural way of being. We use tactics for this such as acting upon our true desires and being congruent to it…such as opening direct or self amusement. By starting many conversations, and being talkative, it forces us to be in the moment and act according to our gut and not our head, or being “in state”.

However there is no state, being in state is simply being your true natural self. The thing that brings us out of it though is self doubt. By eliminating self doubt you will always be “in state”. Easier said then done though I know! The way to do this though is by taking on a high value “role” and staying in that role. This seems to go against the idea of when you’re in state you are your complete natural self though. The only answer I have for this is it’s one of those zen things in pick up. You’re completely yourself while taking on this new role.

A good example of this is the scene from 40yr old virgin where all he does is ask questions to the girl. While in that role, though without knowing exactly what to say other then a loose structure of ask questions, he is all of a sudden a badass. This eliminates all self doubt and lets you act completely natural in the moment, perform the role long enough and you start realizing that you’re no longer playing a role but that it’s now you.

We actually do this all the time in field and it’s when we see our greatest success. Examples of roles I’m sure most of you have done are…

-social experimenter
-”alpha male”
-self amuser
-role playing with the girl as anything

Along with any other role you’d like to try out!

I did a challenge for myself to “be in state” for an entire week. The longer I kept myself “in state” (if I noticed I was out of it I’d do something to go back in) the more I realized the truth of all this. Eventually I just “stopped caring” eliminating self doubt and living according to my new mental role.

You say you want to be natural and not live according to some role? The thing is that no matter what, you’re acting according to a role you place upon yourself. Only thing is that the role you act according to now is not working for you and you don’t like it. Instead simply take on the role of the “attractive man” and live up to it. The only other thing after this is to be open to social feedback and adjust the role accordingly.

For example you might take on that “attractive man” role but then become overbearing and never letting anyone else talk. By being open to social feedback you’ll eventually see this, or have someone point it out to you, and then you can adjust the role.

While the role can, and always will be, changing and growing it eliminates self doubt since you will always act according to your role. If you’re the “attractive man” role for example then opening a set is a nonissue since it’s part of that role. If you experience negative responses then this just goes back to being open to social feedback and adjusting the role, however the role itself does not change.

So how do you get started with this? First imagine your ideal self and all the characteristics that make him up. Experience how he sees the world, picture how he acts in different situations. Once you do this immediately just take on that role and keep it. If you have a hard time with this then imagine the coolest guy you know, whether it’s a friend, actor, or PUA guru. No matter what emotion you’re feeling also, feel that emotion in that role. This way whether you’re feeling down or low energy you’ll still act according to your ideal role and will still be free from self doubt…being “in state”.

Finally understand there’s a huge difference from being in a role, and thinking of the role. When you think of the role you try to break it down. You see a set and ask yourself “OK what would a guy in my role say here…damn I got nothing!”. This is because you’re not BEING the role. When you are being the role you will experience the feelings of it and act according to what feels natural or what you wish to do, even if it’s a canned routine. By thinking of what the role requires you to do, instead of just going off of what feels right while being in the role, you immediately put yourself in a self doubting situation, once again leaving state.

If you’re always the 10, the attractive man, the badass, the ideal self, or any other role in your mind then “state” is really no longer an issue. You realize there is no state…only your role.

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I try not to use my pick up knowledge for evil or manipulative ways, just as I don’t teach unethical things. However there are times when it’s OK or when someone has it coming to them. This also shows how what we are really studying is advanced social psychology that can be useful in more areas then just picking up women.

Last night I get a phone call from one of my close female friends who is truly upset with her ex. He’s royally screwed her over in the past but keeps trying to bring her back and unfortunately, like most typical women, she keeps falling for it. She knows what I do, and asked if there’s some way we can make this guy pay, since she’s not the only girl he’s been doing this to. After some convincing on her part I agree and for the first time make it a mission to take down a natural.

That night he was having a get together which my friend (we’ll call her HBRed for her red hair) was invited to. I decide this will be the perfect place to take him down. Now it needs to be realized that this guy is a natural frat boy having a small house party, so I’m essentially walking into his social proof trap which means he’ll have tons of value there. In order to beat this I find 6 girls to bring along at the last minute to make sure I’m the most preselected person at the party. Sure it might be his place but in actuality now I’m the one bringing the party. His place is also reaaaally nice. The party took place in the backyard which had a mini waterfall, a pool and ping pong table, a full set circular bar, a pool with a rock cave on one end, a trampoline, and for good measure they had a bonfire going.

When we arrive I assess the situation and see that other then my girls there’s only 3 others there (one of which I know). There’s about 5 guys who seem extremely loyal to the natural (fraternity bond) and all try and ignore me or pretend I’m not there. The natural was a very good looking guy who was only wearing a motorcycle jacket letting his abs stick out 300 spartan style.

Introductions are made and I begin to make sure that he sees how me and HBRed have a little extra kino then people who are “just friends” would have but at the same time not enough to be certain…the idea was he could only guess the entire time. My other girls begin chilling around me and two groups visibly form, mine and his. I decide to bring my girls onto the trampoline so that we’d have the most fun. He then comes on to try and impress us with being able to do front flips where I then say “Hey lets get drinks” and leave him and his boy on the trampoline while me and every girl gets off.

Psych: 1
Natural:0

While getting drinks he then suggests that we play beer pong so I say “Nah a better game would be flip cup since we can all play at once”. All the girls agree so flip cup begins. I’m basically setting the frame here that I’m gonna lead the interaction of this party and not him, though he’ll continously try.

Psych: 2
Natural: 0

After the game we just all begin drinking normally and dancing. I make sure to dance with every girl I brought and play the preselection factor for everything it’s worth, the point is to show him that HBRed brought a high value guy to this party that he can’t compete with. Obviously I gave some special attention to HBRed which he then countered by trying to run a jealousy plotline by dancing with one of the other 3 girls.

To counter that I sent in 2 of the girls I brought to go and befriend the other girls (which was EXTREMELY difficult, more so then I thought, because the other girls began being catty since they weren’t the center of attention anymore). So the 3 other girls were pretty much under his thumb along with his boys…keeping the other girls compliant to him was as much game as he was able to pull off so it’ll be the only point I give him.

Psych: 2
Natural: 1

I then come up with an idea and took HBRed along with my FB (HBFB I guess) to the cave to just sit by the pool and chill. The natural comes over to try an AMOG us saying “The rule is you’re only allowed in the cave if you’re having s%x guys, sorry!” So I yelled back “No problem here then!” and began acting like we were having a 3sum. He mumbled something about “Yea did it for you bro…” and then just walked away.

Psych: 3
Natural: 1

Meanwhile the girls I brought played their part extremely well and weren’t dancing with any of the guys other then me. They’d either dance with each other or by themselves. I decide to go and join them with HBRed and let her dance with the girls while I danced with another one I brought (we’ll call her HBBlonde). Now this natural did something next which I have to admit takes serious confidence and balls. While I’m dancing with HBBlonde he comes up to us and says “Hey bro you don’t mind if I cut in right?”. I was actually pretty taken aback by that and kind of shrugged and put my hands up…however HBBlonde came out with the comment of the night.

HBBlonde: “I don’t dance to this type of music sorry…”

She then immediately began grinding on me! His reaction was priceless and he could only stammer out “Oh…uh…yea…all you bro.” This was only the second time I met HBBlonde but because of the dynamics we were in I began seeing serious attraction from her and definately plan to game her in the future. Figured that was a nice little bonus for me!

Psych: 4
Natural: 1

At this point I tell HBRed to go have alone time with the natural, so they begin talking (I find out later it was all about me and him asking what the deal is). When I see him seriously invested and into the conversation I call HBRed over and steal her away from him frusterating him even more.

Psych: 5
Natural: 1

Once I stole her away I isolate her BEHIND the cave where noone can see and chill there with her for 10 minutes straight just talking. The entire time I was told the natural was freaking out since he had no idea what we were doing. Just for good measure before we came back I made sure to ruffle HBRed’s hair.

Psych: 6
Natural: 1

It pretty much went on this way for the entire party…he trys to do a cool stripper dance to impress the girls so we all look away being uninterested…he sends one of his boys in to game one of my girls and she gives him a fake number…we also repeatedly have him take pictures of me, HBRed, and all our girls just so we can put him in a more beta role. It literally just went on and on.

Eventually I felt it was time to just end it since he was to “alpha” to actually chase or allow himself to look chodey in front of us. Instead he settled for staying in the outside bar with his boys just drinking and being moody. I tell all the girls it’s time to leave and as one we head out. Before I go though…

Psych: “Hey man it was cool meeting you”
Natural: “Yea you to bro, keep raging”
Psych: “Keep what?”
Natural: “Raging”
Psych: “Raving?…”
Natural: “No RAGING man…raging.”
Psych: “Oh…um alright”

Then immediately left him and headed back to the cars.

Psych: 1,456,257
Natural: 1

The best part was filing into a car with 6 girls to grab some food and HBBlonde asking me to put my arms around her to keep her warm since I was “toasty”. Everyone had an amazing time and I realized when you have preselection and social proof you don’t NEED to DHV, try and create attraction, or even use frame control to keep the mentality that you’re the prize. Reason is because you ARE the prize having tons of girls fighting over your attention and time. This is why I stress so much to everyone in the community to develop female social circles and have an actual abundance of women in your life. Every major PUA does it from AFC Adam to Mystery and Style. This is the future of the community gentleman.

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