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Hey guys,
Finally after months and months working long hours developing Daygame.com, we are finally live!
Daygame.com is my attempt at trying to help as many guys improve their daygame as possible by providing regularly updated videos, articles, a weekly podcast and the communities first ever seduction comic book! The really exciting thing about this site is I want it to be somewhere you can learn this stuff completely for free, as I know that money is a big issue for alot of people. If you can afford to spend money on learning social dynamics then obviously you’re going to have a much faster learning curve, but if you can’t afford it, then you won’t have access to information that could potentially change your life.
The perfectionist in me wanted to delay the launch another month or two while I perfected things, but that’s not going to do you guys any good is it? We’re not perfect yet – but with continued drive to improve and with the support and feedback from our users, we should be improving day by day.
This is what I’m doing fulltime now, so me and the Daygame crew are gonna be out on the streets of London filming new content every week, not to mention writing valuable articles and recording the world’s only podcast dedicated to Daygame.
If I can be responsible for just one guy finding his dream girlfriend, then the site has been a success.
Hope you like the site and get loads of value from it. I’m looking forward to reading everyone’s feedback, and hopefully soon, some success stories!
Speak soon,
Andy.
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I thought I’d write a short article on raised eyebrows.
Naturally.
But I don’t mean are some over-English middle-classers scoffing over their Daily Mail (all English references!) at your (nothing but short of) heroic attempt to pick up a beautiful girl in the street. Those eyebrow mutinies have no effect on the seasoned Daygamer!
No, I’m referring to another kind of eyebrow retreat – the kind that can have a dramatic effect on your ability to impress the fairer sex during the day. It’s your eyebrows.
What.
The Fuck.
Are you talking about Andy?
Read on patient Daygamer.
I was teaching a student today and I noticed that every time he opened a hot girl he was RAISING his eyebrows to that of a surprised expression.
I asked him to ‘demo’ on me, and when he did his eyebrows had cunningly stepped back in line. Too late for the eyebrows though – I’d already seen their mischief and it was time to straighten them out.
The student was actually surprised to hear, that when he approached hot girls he was looking surprised.
I’ll tell you what I told him.
From where I was standing, the perception of this guy’s value was VERY different when he had a relaxed expression on his face (no eyebrow drifting) to when he approach with ’surprised eyebrows’. Where before he looked relaxed, and UNAFFECTED emotionally by the high value person infront of them, now he looked like he was ‘really really very very sorry to both her’.
Raising your eyebrows when you approach is such a subtle thing, but it goes in the same naughty box as raising your voice tonality, laughing and smiling too much, and carrying her shopping for her. All of these things communicate that you REALLY want her to like you so are willing to supplicate and change your behaviour from your normal persona in order to try and win her favour.
Here’s the equation:
Raised eyebrows = “Please like me”.
“Please like me” = “You are much higher value than me, so I really really really really want you to like me, as my sense of self is solely reliant on people like you thinking well of me. God forbid you DON’T like me, as this would mean that I suck balls and don’t deserver to live, your majesty.”
So make sure you keep your eyebrows in check. A sharp spanking should do the trick, or if they still try and show you up a sharp death threat (with your beard trimmer) should put the issue to bed.
To conclude, just remember that one of the defining traits of a high value person is CONSISTENCY in their behaviour, no matter who they are interacting with. When you meet are approaching a beautiful woman, do with your eyebrows what you would do when approaching any one of your best friends.
Unless your best friends always greet you by jumping out from behind a wall and screaming “AAARRRRGGHHH!”
In that case, just do what you would do if you were friends with normal people.
Andy Yosha
(http://www.puatraining.com/andyyosha)
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On my travels I have come across a wide variety of people. All of whom have either given me some amazing experiences, or a sharp lesson to be learnt. Sure, some can be quite tough to open, but there’s nothing like winning a girl round who was previously scowling at your audacity to start a conversation with her.
But proceed with caution young Daygamer, for there are many treacherous hidden traps that await you on your sexy quest.
Some girls are more steadfast 0n their mission to remain strictly ‘unopened’ and are, I’m not afraid to admit, extremely difficult if not impossible to open.
Some others out there will do everything in their power to thwart your attempts at approaching the girl you want.
But by letting everyone know who these daygame villains are, hopefully it will help to give you guys a competitive edge. Once identified, maybe, just maybe, these daygame nightmares will be no match for your skill.
So who are they?
Let’s start with the easiest to overcome and make our way through to the vilest and scariest of them all.
Ok, these girls are in a HURRY. Have you ever seen anyone power walking before? This is what The Stormtrooper does.
She is LATE.
For something.
I’m not sure what, but what whatever it is she needs to get there.
FAST.
Usually characterised by the panicked look on her face and the high velocity with which they travel, these characters are a very tricky breed indeed.
But all is not lost!
In my experience they are usually in a hurry for one of the following reasons:
1) they are late meeting a friend
2) they are late for work
3) they are running to catch a bus
4) they are trying to get to a job interview/casting
If you approach and you find out she’s doing one of these, there are two possibilities:
1) Tell her you’re going in the same direction and walk with her.
I think it is ideal if you can stop a moving girl and talk to her from a stationary position, but if there is no choice, as in this instance, then make sure you give a false time constraint as you start walking with her, for example, I’ve gotta go up this way but I’ve gotta head off to the right in a few minutes. The a false-time-constraint serves to intercept the thought that might pop into a girl’s mind when it is clear that you intent to stick around for a while – the thought that says “oh no, how long is this guy gonna be here for? What if he turns out to be a weirdo?”.
Of course, you’re not a weirdo, this thought just stems from a lack of information about you. She doesn’t KNOW that you’re not weird yet. So you throw in the false time constraint to navigate this social landmine, which will buy you some time to demonstrate your non-weirdness. Then when you feel the time is right you can tell you her really have to go, and go for the close. If the interaction has been short, it might be wise to go for a Facebook close rather than a number, as this is less likely to flake.
2) Go for a FAST close.
What you need to do is to voice concerns she may have, but as if they are your own concerns.
For example:
- you’re a complete stranger and she has no idea whether you’re a weirdo crazy person or not.
- this is a very unusual situation, people don’t normally do this.
- You might start texting me all the time and calling every day.
So I might say this to her:
“Look, you’re super cute – and you don’t SEEM like a crazy person ;) … I’d really like to talk properly but I’m in a MASSIVE rush, I’ve got a meeting to rush to. I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m REALLY busy at the mo, but if I get a spare sec at some point I’ll shoot you a text or something. Put you’re number in here. Quick I’ve gotta go!”
Make sense?
So you’re kind of addressing all the issues she might be thinking, but you’re telling her that’s what you’re thinking about HER.
Jolly good. If you follow this advice, you’d be surprised what you can get away with.
I once stopped and number closed a very cute girl as she was about to jump into a waiting taxi! :)
The arch nemesis of the BNP (British National Party – small right wing/fascist political party here in the UK). According to Mr Griffin (the leader of the party) they represent everything that is bad about the world!
Well, Mr Griffin clearly hasn’t been to Sweden.
Or Denmark.
Or Norway.
Because if he had, he probably wouldn’t have come back (not a bad thing…).
Let’s face it, when the big cheese upstairs was dishing out the good looks, english people were in bed, with a hangover, after downing 15 pints of stella the night before due to the football match on down the pub. By the time they turned up the big man didn’t have much left in his sexy sack.
I wasn’t there at the time, but from the results of his handy-work I’d guess that camping out at the front of the line weeks before the pearly gates even opened for business, were the Swedish, Danish, Norwegians, Russians, Lithuanians, Latvians, Brazilians and Argentinians.
So, as you can probably tell, I LOVE foreign girls.
I PREFER foreign girls.
But there is one type of foreigner that evades me still.
The Blank Foreigner.
There she is. Her blonde russian locks rippling in the autumn wind as you walk towards her.
She smiles at you. You smile back.
Time to do some daygame.
“Excuse me, were you smiling at me there? Or just thinking of puppies?”
Her smile fades.
The blank look.
“eerr….. um….. no.. english….”
Shit.
“Oh… erm…. er…. I…… I SAID, YOU….. smile at me?! um….. ”
The blank look.
Crap.
What’s the best thing to do in this situation? Well, if you have a notepad and pen with you, you could definitely have a fun interaction with her by drawing things on the pad to describe what you’re saying. I’ve done this a few times and it’s been loads of fun. I once number closed a really cute Japanese girl who literally didn’t speak a word of English by doing this. But when I called her I realised how completely pointless that was! (think about it)
I usually like to gesture my opener to the girl if she doesn’t speak english.
“I” (point to me)
“saw you” (point to my eyes, then to her)
walking” (show my fingers walking)
And I thought you looked gorgeous (put my hands on my heart and pretend im dumbstruck)
Usually gets a cool reaction :)
Saving that the best thing you can do to prepare to tackle The Blank Foreigner is to LEARN THEIR LANGUAGE. Or carry around a rucksack full of translation books everywhere you go!
Psychics are impossible to spot, until it’s too late. They look like every other girl. The act like every other girl. But there is a difference.
They can read your mind.
Allow me to elaborate:
You see a really cute girl walking in the street. You consider approaching her, but you have AA. Wait, fuck it, remember what Andy said! Just do it! Ok, let’s do it!
But the SECOND you decide that you ARE going to approach her, she hails a taxi, darts into a shop, pulls out her phone or starts running in the other direction.
Dammit! What are the chances?
This is a common occurrence for the seasoned Daygamer.
Sometimes you come across a special breed of ‘EvilPsychics’ that prefer to wait till the very second you’re about to open before they get on the phone, dart into a shop, or run for a bus. They get a kick out of knowing that they thwarted you right at the last moment.
The only way to combat a psychic in my experience is to show her that you WILL NOT BE DENIED!
“Oh you’re making a phone call? It’s too bad that I’m gonna have to interrupt the call”
“You’ve disappeared into Topshop? Well, I guess now I’ve gotta go in there after you!”
You get the idea.
Don’t let a psychic win. Show her that she can read your thoughts all she wants – you are the kind of man who doesn’t take no for answer. You see Psychic’s test men just like other girls, e.g, but putting up a bit of token resistance, only they do it before you’ve even approach! They test your INTENTION to approach. The only way to win is the APPROACH! Once she see’s that her psychic abilities are no match for your raw masculine determination you’ll have her melting all over her glass ball.
I will tell you now that closing a ninja is impossible.
Have you ever closed a Ninja?
No?
That’s because it’s impossible.
Ninja’s are out there on the streets – and like the psychics, are disguised as normal girls. Ninja’s aren’t psychic… at least I don’t think they are. All I know is.. is that they seem to know what I’m going to do and when I’m going to do it. I can only assume it’s down to their secret ninja skills.
The following is a prime example of a ninja at work.
I’ll be out teaching a student, looking for some nice girls for him to approach. In the distance there is a pedestrian clearing – a large space open to the public – it is totally deserted except for one lone girl. She is very sexy indeed.
Perfect I think.
I turn to my student and tell him to approach that sexy girl over in that clearing.
“What girl?” he says.
I point to the clearing. “That girl…….” and realise that I’m pointing into open space.
The girl has vanished.
The wind picks up, and out of the corner of my eye I see a blurred shadow pass by one of the rooftops. Nothing is left in the space where she was apart from some dust in the air, slowly settling after what looks like some kind of disturbance moments before.
That girl was a ninja. And ninja’s don’t like to talk to strangers.
We tend to trust our senses. The more hard-headed of you tend not to believe something until you see it for yourselves. I know I didn’t truly believe this pick-up stuff could work untill I saw someone else do it with my own eyes.
But sometimes our eyes can play tricks on us. What appears to be there at first, ends up not being there.
Like WMD’s in iraq (erm.. andy.. this isn’t really the time to get polital. Let’s stick to girls ok?)
Maybe things can CHANGE before your eyes. They look like one thing, then as you get closer, you realise that it’s something completely different.
This, unfortunately, occurs far too often in Daygame. So often infact you start to question your very senses.
One minute you are strolling up to who you think is Miss Sweden 2009, then just as you say hello and she turns round, you realise you’re actually talking to Miss Basildon 1983.
In your head all you can hear is your mental co-pilot screaming “EJECT” EJECT! EJECT!”, but it’s too late. You’ve opened, and now you’ve gotta stick with it. Running is an option, but definitely a rude thing to do. Best thing to do is ask for direction then politely thank her an be on your way.
You can clean your eyeballs with a wire brush when you get home.
I think these characters are related to Ninjas.
If not by blood, then definitely by association. They know their ways.
Dressed as regular people they move fast and unseen, camouflaged in a sea of innocent people.
Then out of nowhere they appear then vanish just as suddenly, taking with them the girl of your dreams who only seconds before you had just fallen in love with.
Sometimes they strike before you get a chance to approach.
You see the girl, build up the courage to go and speak to her, then seconds before impact, he appears in a cloud of smoke, whisks her off her feet and carries her off into the sunset.
Other times it’s not quite so simple.
You’re walking along the highstreet.
You’ve walked this path many times before. You know every shop, every slab of pavement, every tree. You barely pay attention.
Then you see her. Suddenly you’re world comes alive. What was once a grey, dull landscape is now made up of bright vivid colours.
Life is beaufiful.
She is beautiful.
Dazzling.
You must talk to her.
But I can’t… she’s out of my league… there’s no way she’d like someone like me… no… no.. come on.. what did Andy say? What was Matthew Hussey’s line again?…. “If you can’t, you must!”
I can’t….
so I MUST!
Fuck it, you adjust your course and head straight towards her.
Your heart suddenly decides to let you know you’re doing something silly.
Your stomach feels left out, so jumps on the jolly bandwagon.
Now your legs are in on the action.
Shit, too late to turn back now…
“Hi… excuse me…. sorry to bother you, I just saw you walking past and…”
Suddenly a caped man swoops down from the sky and embraces the beautiful girl in his arms of steel, kisses her on the lips and then turns to you with a smile.
“Hiya mate, what’s up?”
“um…. i just…… um…. wondered if you knew where Leicester Square is?”
Phew – good thing you’re quick on your toes – catastrophe averted!
(seriously though, if this ever happens to me I just tell the truth, then compliment the guy on his taste in women and say he’s a lucky guy and shake his hand. It shows the guy respect, and I’ve never had a single bad response – even if the guy did have arms of steel!)
You see the girl waiting on the corner of a street, and decide to approach (hopefully thanks to my advice!). You open, she smiles – it looks like you could do quite well.
But wait…
Something’s wrong…
A disturbance in the force.
A glitch in the matrix.
Suddenly you realise.
What you had previously thought was a film poster advertising the latest brutal action film with the cage fighting lookalike lead actor glaring out from under the film title, is infact, a massive scary cage fighting man glaring at you infront of a what you can now see is a Disney film poster.
There’s no mistaking this man. It’s The Dad.
Now let’s get something clear; The Dad does not like you.
You could be the nicest guy in the world, and could have opened in the most charming way possible. It makes no difference.
Unlike her mum, sister or friends, this man knows what men are like, and will assume you are the worst of them. As you stand there trying to keep your breathing in check, he is imagine you doing things to his daughter that would definitely not make the cut in that Disney film.
His precious daughter.
His angel.
His princess.
You are in big trouble. You have seconds to act, or this interaction is over.
As far as I can see it, you have three options:
1) Run – you’ll get away, but the number is unlikely unless she runs after you!
2) Quickly revert you’re opener to an indirect opener. You’re just a friendly guy asking for directions. You definitely do NOT want to do anything with this girl that The Dad would not happily agree to. Start talking to The Dad as soon as you can. Charm him. Win him over. Make him laugh. Make him like you. Once he likes you, you are in with a chance. At the end of the interaction either ask him if it would be ok to grab his daughter’s number (risky, but can work), or better still, tell them about this party you’re having in a few weeks and both should come down. The number close should be easy from here – obviously you don’t want the dad coming to any party of yours – you can just tell her later that the party has been cancelled and game as normal. The key is that you got the number.
3) If you’ve already gone direct and the dad knows exactly what you’re up to, turn you’re attention immediately to The Dad and engage him in the interaction. Tell him the direct opener. Tell him what you’re saying about the daughter – this way it looks like you’re almost asking his permission, or seeking his approval – so he will feel you are being very respectful. If he responds well then you are in with a chance. If he doesn’t then you might want to consider reverting back to option 1.
——–
If I discover any more dastardly villains out there I will upload a revised article. For everyone reading this, If you know of another daygame foe that I’ve overlooked please let me know!
Andy Yosha
(http://www.puatraining.com/andyyosha)
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I’ve been teaching daygame to hundreds of students with PUATraining since the beginning of 2009. If each student does 30 approaches on average during our session, that’s thousands of approaches I’ve watched take place as well (as well as being present during the thousands of approaches I’ve done myself!).
And after witnessing and analysing thousands of approaches, I finally discovered something amazing.
It’s something I’ve been slowly growing aware of over the last few months, and I’ve been teaching students various parts of it in bouts – but only now have I joined all the dots.
I was teaching a student today, and he was coming across the usual sticking points that most guys have when they try direct daygame for the first time, and we were slowly working our way through them until he started getting some great number closes and some very fun interactions…. but then towards the end of the day, it all started going wrong. EVERY girl he approached wouldn’t stop for him, and it was starting to get him down. I was watching every approach, and I couldn’t put my finger on what he was doing wrong. I knew exactly why he was being “rejected” – it was because every girl was immediately assuming he was a promoter/charity person, and was just saying “sorry, no thanks”. If he managed to stop a girl, they would make their excuses and leave seconds after he’d opened. It was frustrating for me as well because I really couldn’t see what he was doing wrong.
To backtrack a sec…. because I’ve gone through the whole process myself – from not even being able to stop a girl, all the way to enjoying multiple relationships with girls I have met, closed and dated from daygame approaches – I have developed a great deal of confidence with teaching this skill set to others.
Now, every student is different. I have never taught the same lesson twice. Every student gets a unique teaching experience because I react in the moment to the student’s unique sticking points, and provide what I believe is the information/advice/teachings that is needed at that time.
Sometimes, teaching is easy. Sometimes I get a student who just has one little easily correctable thing that he’s doing wrong, and one little tweak and he starts closing models.
Sometimes I get students that a more of a challenge.
But I actually relish the challenge of getting a ‘tough student’, who keeps getting blown out, or gets numbers that consistently flake. Sometimes I can’t spot what the problem is immediately. It might take me a while to get to the core of why this is happening, but after a few approaches it usually comes to light – and it feels great. It’s like solving a puzzle you’ve been working on for a long time. It’s a eureka moment.
“Dude, I’ve got it! I know why you’re getting blown out. Ok, here’s what you need to change….”
It might be a body language issue. It might be the vocal tonality. It might be a subtlety in the way you approach. But whatever it is, I usually get there.
Anyway, me and my student had a coffee break near Covent Garden, and as we sat there trying to figure out what had changed since the start of the day…. it came to me. I realised exactly what was going through the girl’s mind, and what he needed to do to correct this. And then, just as suddenly, I realised how this ’sticking point’ related to every other sticking point we’d been working on that day. It all fitted together – I kinda saw ‘the matrix’ of direct approaching. I scrambled for my phone and started writing a text message to myself so I wouldn’t forget the idea when I attempted a brain dump in an article I’d have to write later in that evening.
Well, now I’m sitting comfortably on my sofa at home with the text message I’d sent myself in hand, I’m going to tell you what I realised as a gulped down my coffee today.
Ok, when you approach a girl during the daytime and express some interest (direct), you automatically trigger a psychological process in the girl’s mind. This is not so much a ‘thought’ process, but more of an emotional reaction to a psychological evaluation process that is automatically triggered when a stranger wants to talk to engage her. This reaction is even stronger during a direct approach. I believe we all go through the exact same process whenever we are approached for whatever reason in the street. This knowledge in the hands of those charity/clip-board people would be very dangerous indeed.
So come on Andy, enough talk – what is this psychological process?
It is simply a set of ‘checkpoints’ that the girl goes through in order to assess the guy that is approaching her.
In order to successfully approach, attract and pick-up a girl during the daytime (directly), you need to pass through each check-point without raising the alarms.
Here is the process in order:
1) Does this person mean to harm me?
2) Does this person mean to persuade me?
3) Does this person have sufficient social intelligence?
4) Is this person sincere?
3) Is this person high value?
Ok, let’s explain the process, and how guys can fail on the various points and cause themselves to get blown out.
Ok, obviously in modern western society people don’t often always assume a stranger is automatically out to kill them. But I’ve seen so many students fail at this first hurdle that it definitely needs to be covered. We can safely assume that you aren’t a murderer or a handbag thief, so we can also assume that any assumption from a girl that you are a threat is a mistake on her part. But we can’t just blame her and move on, because this will be being caused by the specifics of your approach. Students will fail at this first checkpoint because of one of these reasons:
1) You have a very serious look on your face
You look like you may have a sinister motive for wanting to stop her. I get students to counteract this by LAUGHING as you approach – that usually does the job! Many students are concentrating so much on other aspects of the approach, like their body language, or what they’re going to say, that often their face looks quite ‘focused’ from the concentration and it doesn’t look very friendly at all. At best, smile, at worst, relax you’re facial muscles so you look pleasant.
2) You are extremely tense and agitated.
You look like you’re ‘ready for action’ because you look like the adrenaline is pumping through your system. This immediately triggers the “this person is about to steal my handbag” thought. It’s usually instigated by complete noobies who are quite literally terrified! It clears up quickly with repeated approaches (desensitization), and repeated instruction to relax his body language.
3) You open her too suddenly and scare her.
I always like to open smoothly. When I stop her by running infront of her, I glide past her and then smoothly stop her. I don’t explode into her reality, I gently ease myself there. If the girl has headphones in you need to be doubly careful of startling her as she may be daydreaming and not paying too much attention to what’s around her.
No-one likes being persuaded of anything. Who likes a sales call? Everyone wants to continue believing whatever they want to believe, unless they are open-minded to the idea that they might be wrong. If you don’t want to buy a certain product, you will not stand for a salesman trying to change your mind – to ‘persuade’ you to buy it.
The most common type of blowout you’ll get approaching girls directly on the street is caused by the KNEE-JERK reaction from a girl where she thinks you are some kind of salesman. The ‘thought’ that you are a salesman might not even go through her mind… she just instinctively reacts the same way she always reacts in order to get out of similar situations she has been through. In other words, she has developed a behaviour pattern to successfully get away from previously encountered salesman, promoters and charity people – which generally involves 1) avoiding eye contact, 2) saying something like “sorry, no, I’,m in a rush” or something like that.
So as her reaction filters down to step 2 – her alarm bells ring. You are coming across like you are a salesman. Rejected.
What causes this?
Well, stopping a moving girl (which is what happens most of the time) is an art form that needs to be broken down and explained properly (in another article), but essentially it boils down to this:
Having the mindset/belief that you are bothering the girl and taking up her precious time.
This is the first belief shift that cause your results to go through the roof. The problem with believing you’re bothering them (which is completely opposite from reality – I will elaborate on this in another article) is that it is communicated in all the subtleties of your body language and voice, and how you react to her.
You will slightly betarise (is that a word now?) yourself as you approach her (since you’re bothering her).
You will also probably talk quite softly (as to not disturb her eardrums too much).
You will probably not stop her with any conviction, like you predict she’s not going to want to talk to you. If you are running infront, you will not get completely infront, but leave enough space for her to easy walk past (like you expect her to).
etc!
If she can sense (and women have far greater intuition than men) that you think you’re bothering her, what category of people, based on her past experience, is she going to put you in with. Who in the past has approached her and thought they were bothering her? Easy – salesmen, charity people & promoters! All of these guys KNOW that everyone they approach does not want to talk to them – and it’s communicated by every gesture, movement & sound they make.
The KEY is to realise that women WANT to talk to you. That’s YOU, by the way. They definitely don’t want to be sold something, but they definitely do want to hear a compliment from another man.
What do you expect her to say?
“Sorry, but I really don’t have time for compliments today”
No chance. If they KNEW that you were just a random guy coming up to show an interest in her, she would definitely at least stop to accept your compliment (more above how to STOP a girl in another article).
Once you adopt the mindset that you are infact going to make a girl’s day, that you are going to GIVE HER a cool story to tell her friends when she gets home, it will completely change the WAY you stop her.
I tell guys to imagine they have a present behind their back, and you know the girl is going to absolutely love it when you give it to them. It helps them approach with that positivity, which in-turn makes them act in a way that ASSUMES success.
ASSUMING success immediately sets you apart from the salesmen. Act like they’re an old friend who you haven’t seen in ages. Act like you’re POSITIVE they’re going to stop for you.
There is more written on other articles (or there will be) on the specifics of how to approach and stop a moving girl in a way that differentiates you from the salesmen.
I.e, is this person a weirdo.
Ok, so you’re not scaring the crap out of her and you’re managing to stop her due to not coming across as a salesman. Now what?
Well, this next landmine will be set off if you are lacking in social intelligence. This will, again, be explored in-depth in another article. But social intelligence is basically having a fine sense or instinct for knowing how to behave in a particular social setting. It is important to note that it is environment specific. You might be great in one environment, but terrible in another. That popular cockney lad in the local pub, but feel very odd attending a high class ball. He literally will have no idea how to behave. Likewise a posh gentleman who has never seen the inside of a traditional west london pub would probably feel a bit of a plum standing by the bar with his glass of red, surrounded by loud burly working class men.
Another unusual but hopefully enlightening example might be online computer games like world of warcraft (I used to have two level 40 paladin characters). In this game, new players are referred to as “noobs”, and are often teased due to not knowing how to behave in the game. Simple online social graces or commonly accepted practices are overlooked by the noob, much to the annoyance of more experienced players. But these social gaffs are slowly corrected as the new player gains experience in the game. Eventually he just ‘knows’ how to behave.
Likewise, if you haven’t spent much time meeting new people, then you will not know exactly how to behave in this new situation. It will be the subtleties in your mannerisms, the way you talk, the way you react to her and the way you express yourself. It cannot be ‘taught’. The only way to improve is to MEET PEOPLE again and again and again. And again!
The more you do it, the more you’ll start to get a feel for the right way to behave, and you’ll find you’ll have to think about ’saying the wrong’ thing less and less untill you will be able to COMPLETELY TRUST YOURSELF to behave correctly.
So you can approach without her thinking you’re going to kill her, you can come across as a regular guy just wanting to talk to her, and she doesn’t think you’re weird. You’ve made it this far which means you’re probably getting into some good interactions.
“Awesome, we’re nearly there – get the condoms out….”
Wait a second, there more!
Ok, you’re doing well champ, but there’s another screening process she’s going to take you through. Are you telling the truth?
Or to put it another way, does she get a sense from you that you’re words, actions and behaviour all stack up seamlessly?
Let’s run through some examples, most of which I have experienced and had to overcome myself.
Scenario One (words and body language mismatch):
You casually walk past the girl, pretending not to notice her, then turn round and try and stop her by saying “Excuse me, I just saw you from back there and just had to come up and say hello”.
First thing that goes through her head: “what? but you just noticed me right here?!” Your words don’t match your actions, and so something just doesn’t feel right.
Solution? Never hide you’re intent with indirect body language if you are going with a direct approach
Scenario Two (too perfect):
This will happen to everyone when they start to get a certain level of success. You do everything perfectly, without a flaw, with absolutely 1000% confidence, and at the end of the interaction she tells you she thinks you’re a player.
What’s going through her head? Well, if someone told you they thought you were beautiful, you’d appreciate the compliment. But if you suspected that person of saying to everyone, the compliment would lose it’s sparkle. The problem with pulling off the approach ‘perfectly’ like you’ve done it a million times (even if you have) is it can come across a bit scripted. If there’s no ‘ums’ and ‘aahs’ and the whole approach is like a film script she will be left with a similar feeling of “something just doesn’t feel right here”.
When this happened to me I had girls asking me if they were on TV, or if I was an actor. Many just thought I was a player and this is what I did all the time (erm… lol!).
Solution? Start approaching with nothing in your mind – it will be alot more genuine than if you go in with a set line to say. More details regarding ‘what to say’ can be found in other articles.
Scenario Three (misplaced compliment):
A girl is sitting on a park bench reading a book. You approach her by telling her she has a really great energy about her. She says “I have to get going”.
What’s going through her mind?
“My energy? If Bullshit.”
Solution:If you’re giving a girl a compliment, or telling them you really like something about them – TELL THE TRUTH!
It’s easy. Look at the girl before you approach and think “What do I really appreciate about the way this girl look?”
Has she got a nice smile? An elegant walk? A cool bag? Funky boots? Awesome dress? Amazing hair? What is it you like?
As long as you’re honest you won’t get stuck.
The final showdown. The big- boss. The last Mohican.
Ok the Mohican thing doesn’t make sense, but we’re nearly home dry, just a little bit further to go!
Actually, there’s still a long way to go.
Sorry guys.
We can assume you are able to stop girls and get into some short, and sometimes long conversations, but you’re finding it hard closing the deal. And it is because you are not communicating enough value. But your VALUE, is what actually attracts a girl, and it is composed of a number of things which will be explained in detail in other articles. But for now I’ll give a short list of some important things that will communicate high value:
1) Confidence (good state/emotions)
2) Having fun / being playful / not taking it too seriously
3) Masculine, but relaxed body language
4) Good Voice (relaxed pitch, slow pace, talking passionately, projecting your voice, pausing, talking with precision)
5) Smiling or laughing when the situation is funny, but not in a supplicative way just to please her
6) Rewarding her with positive body language and enthusiasm when she says or does something you like, and punishing her with less of it when she says or does something you don’t like (don’t just say “oh cool” to everything she says!)
The thing to remember, is whenever you’re getting the first 4 steps right, but she still says she has to go, she’s making a decision to leave based on very limited information, especially if you’ve only just approached. She doesn’t know how high value you are yet. I mean, CLEARLY she’s making a mistake ;-) So we’ve gotta help her out.
Imagine it from her point of view. What constitutes value for a woman is different for a man; we’re attracted to the way a girl looks.
Let’s say you’re friend asks you if you want to have a date with his sister. The first thing you wanna know is:
“What does she look like?”.
You don’t have enough information yet to make a decision. Your friend shows you a photo of his sister, and she looks pretty cute.
“Sure, I’ll do it”, you say.
So once you have more information you can make a more informed decision.
The same thing happens when you approach a girl on the street. It can take a while to demonstrate that you are a high value guy, especially for new guys. So when a girl tells you she has to go, it’s probably due to a lull in the conversation where she feels pressure to continue it herself – and she is still unsure as to your value. And since you’re forcing her to make a decision as to whether or not to continue the interaction, if she doesn’t have sufficient information with which to make an accurate assessment of your value, she’ll be forced to make a misinformed decision – and leave.
So here’s what I want you to do: BE PERSISTENT.
If she says she’s got to go, tell her “yeah I’ve gotta shoot off as well, before you go though, one more thing…” – Then continue on the conversation as normal! You’ll be amazed the results you can get by just pushing for that extra inch. I’ve had girls tell me they have to go many many times – once every few minutes, but I wouldn’t give in! Then sure enough, i made them laugh once too many times, we connected once too many…. and she was attracted. BOOM!
So that’s the five step process a girl will cycle through when you approach directly. And if you get blown out, or she loses interest at any point during the interaction it will because of one of these road blocks.
Going back to my student I was teaching today, I discovered that his problem was that the night before he’d had about 3 hours sleep. At the start of the session, fuelled by adrenalin, coffee and push from me, he was opening with alot of enthusiasm and energy and it was coming across very nicely. But then as he started to get more and more tired as the day progressed, that’s when things started going wrong. See what was happening was my student was TRYING to be the high energy enthusiastic guy he was during the afternoon. He was FEELING really tired and low energy, but he was trying to BE high energy.
And how do you think this came across in all the subtleties we were describing above?
Insincere.
She got a feeling that something wasn’t quite right with the way he was behaving, and how it matched up to his words, actions, vibe etc. He was trying to be this high energy guy but he was just… off. It felt strange.
I told him to approach a girl LOW ENERGY. I said to even tell the girl that you’d had no sleep and are really tired. I said “Just act how you feel. Stop trying to be anything other than how you’re feeling right now. He approached super low energy, almost slurring his words he sounded so tired. He explained to her that he had hardly any sleep last night, so sorry if he seems like a deadman walking etc.
What happened?
Number close.
———
Hope this article has helped – I know it’s a bit all over the place, one day my writing skills will be bearable, for now this will have to do!
Really appreciate any comments and feedback :)
Andy Yosha
(http://www.puatraining.com/andyyosha)
Enjoyed this post? Then you're going to LOVE the material we've got waiting for you....here
Enjoyed this post? Then you're going to LOVE the material we've got waiting for you....here
This is a bit of fun.
Was teaching a student on sunday, and I’d previously told him that I’d gotten a couple of street kisses before and he really wanted me to demo it.
It told him that it wasn’t an easy thing to do, but I’d try my best (i’m always up for a challenge). Also the last girl he tried to open had headphones on and he failed to make her stop, so this was a sticking point at the moment and also wanted me to demo stopping a girl with headphones on. And as luck would have it the next hot girl we saw had headphones on.
So in I go (direct as usual!)
She stops, and we get into a fun interaction.
I do a little bit of kino by highfiving her at a highpoint in the conversation and spinning her round, but apart from that I didn’t really escalate at all. I was just getting to know her and qualifying her a bit. But after a few minutes I wanna start seeing if there was any way I could get that kiss…
The battery in my phone is off, so I get her to save my number in her phone.
She says “What shall I save you as… Andy what?”
I tell her “Andy Good Kisser”
She agrees, with a smile, and saves my number.
Then I get a bit closer and tell her I have to go meet my friend, and it was awesome meeting her.
I tell her “Give me a kiss on the cheek”
She complies. It’s a soft kiss, near my lips. *green light*
I point to my other cheek.
Another soft kiss, near my lips. *green light*
As she pulls away from the third kiss, I stay close, then pulling her into me, kiss her.
I pull away with a smile, with strong eye contact, then go in for a second kiss.
Probably the best demo I’ve ever done ;D – I’ve gotta point out that this is only the 3rd of 4th time I’ve kissed a girl on the street like this – I’m not some kind of street kiss close pimp. This probably won’t happen again for a long time!
Good fun anyway :)
Andy Yosha
(http://www.puatraining.com/andyyosha)
Enjoyed this post? Then you're going to LOVE the material we've got waiting for you....here
Andy Yosha
(http://www.puatraining.com/andyyosha)
Enjoyed this post? Then you're going to LOVE the material we've got waiting for you....here
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field.”
Niels Bohr
“People who improve fastest in pick-up, are those who are least afraid of making a mistake.”
Andy Yosha
Andy Yosha
(http://www.puatraining.com/andyyosha)
Enjoyed this post? Then you're going to LOVE the material we've got waiting for you....here
Andy Yosha
(http://www.puatraining.com/andyyosha)
Enjoyed this post? Then you're going to LOVE the material we've got waiting for you....here
