Archive for the ‘Attraction’ Category

Hey guys,

Wow, I can’t believe it has been so long since I last posted! Jumping on the New Year bandwagon this is actually a post I meant to put up around November but never got around to it.

The Background.

When with a student I like to refer to how important a first impression is. If your first impression isn’t strong, you face a battle to make up lost distance, and then prove to her that you are a cool guy worth spending time with.

Now a few people might have read that and start crying out old pick-up mantras: ‘But I’m the prize! She should want to game me!’ Let’s be honest with ourselves here, none of that is true… at least not straight away.

You only become the prize once you have proven you are the prize. Very few girls will actively view you straight away as someone to be chased and invested in without you having shown them why. It can happen, but only in special circumstances. In a regular bar, nightclub or in the street, you need to show them why you are worth the effort.

And all this comes down to making a good first impression.  By doing this you are cutting out a great deal of work for yourself, as most of the qualities you need to convey, aside from conversational ability and escalation ability, can be demonstrated in that initial moment. That’s why we are going to have a look at these qualities and go through how to show them effectively in this post.

The Breakdown

 
First let’s break this down into two sections, the initial look, and the initial contact. The initial look is what they see when they first look at you. The first judgement they will make. It comes in three parts:
1) Fashion.
2) Body language.
3) Value in the environment.

Each of these three things are related to your overall value. If all three (minimum two out of three) are high, then you come across as a high value guy and the girl is more likely to be open to you approaching, forcing IOI’s, etc. Without them, it will naturally be more of an uphill battle.
The initial contact comes in when you actually open your mouth and deliver the opener, and comes in four parts.
1) Eye contact.
2) Body language.
3) Vocal tonality.
4) Proximity.

Together these four things make the strongest impression when making contact. Strong eye contact is a sign of a comfortable, secure and confident man. This is especially true when combined with relaxed body language.

By having a voice that is paced (by which I mean you aren’t speaking too fast), this shows an air of dominance and authority. Notice how good public speakers pause and slow down as they say their key points. It is the same theory here.

Finally, your proximity (how close you are standing) to them will grab their attention and make sure they have noticed you. The ideal distance is right on the edge of their comfort zone. If you want a guide, it would be the same distance from your elbow to the tips of your fingers, if your arm were bent at your side.

The worst thing that can happen when you open is not for a girl to say ‘no thanks’ and then to turn away. It is for her to say ‘excuse me?’ (or much more likely in England ‘what?’). If you haven’t got her attention before you open your mouth it is an uphill struggle from there. It is far better to create a good first impression with a bit of thought and effort, and make the work later a bit easier, rather than springing a surprise opinion opener on a girl without her knowing you are going to say something beforehand.

So there we have a bit of a mindset (though slightly technical) first post of the New Year for you all. I plan on finishing my Strategy for Nightgame post series soon, but in the mean time if you have any questions on this or my other posts, please do not hesitate to contact me on: karl@puatraining.com

Until next time!

Karl

Hey guys,

Now this blog originated following a recent session with a student, who wanted to know how to game the pretty young thing at the front of house of a trendy London bar. The Door Whore if you will. It seemed that there are many misconceptions about the approach to attracting such a lady and so I set myself the arduous task to try to set the record straight.

The Door Whore is known as a “Hired Gun” in the words of the ancients, that is a woman who is employed in such a role because of her beauty/hotness, who much like the sirens of Greek mythology, use their looks to lure men in (usually to spend cash as opposed to their deaths).

This invites a number of important considerations in the approach to attract such a girl.

By the way, the following principles of “Hired Gun Game” can also be used to attract shot girls, hostesses or even dancers in Strip Clubs if one is so inclined to frequent such a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

1. Initial disqualification.

Firstly always remember that a hired gun is hit on all the time every day, to the extent that sadly, it is part of the job. So in order that you are not just another horny punter, we should start by not being another horny punter. In her environment, she will always have higher value than you (unless you are a big movie star) so hitting on her initially will put you in the same category as everyone else. And because she will have higher value than you, an indirect approach will work better than direct. So have a justification for being there other than the usual one, perhaps one which also gives you more value than everyone else; so be a friend of the DJ, be scouting the place to hold an event etc.

This has two purposes: it shows that you are not a threat, and it demonstrates that her usual “powers” will not work on you and so disarms her.

2. Reward and punishment.

Now you have established you are not a threat, she can let her guard down. What we need to do here is to get to know her as a “regular girl.” I say “regular” because in some hired gun situations such as strippers, girls have their alter egos with stage names (Candy anyone?) and a fake sexy personality to interact with sleazy guys.(Really, I thought she was really into me??).

So we use a principle known in psychology as operant conditioning, which is that people are more likely to do things that they are rewarded for and less likely to do things they are punished for, and thus involves the modification of voluntary or operant behaviour.

So in addition to the usual social interaction, you reward her for “regular girl” behaviour such as telling you her real name (maybe some light kino or validation) and punish alter ego behaviour (such as not taking her seriously). By the way, it should be noted while we are on the subject, that kino from a hired gun is an unreliable indicator of interest. It should be punished.

3. Establish one time only.

Once you have broken down the shell of the hired gun, you should be having a normal fun conversation with a normal fun girl. As the conversation begins to flow, you can begin to introduce some light “meaningful” kino which can be escalated appropriately. It is helpful to try to establish a connection especially with commonalities (subjective and emotional) to demonstrate to the girl that this is a “one time only” deal. She will still logically be influenced by the implications of hooking up with someone through work and so she needs to be able to justify making an exception.

4. Demonstrate socially intelligent value (including the close).

When the interaction is moving towards the possibility of exchanging contact details or even going home together, it is important at this point to demonstrate social intelligence towards her situation i.e. it would be a big risk to her if she is caught being picked up at work and SHE MAY LOSE HER JOB. And no hook up is worth losing your job over. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. Sorry.

Talk to her about this. Point out that you don’t want to stop her doing her job. Calibrate the close. Figure out a fun, romantic way to exchange details. Get her to give you her name…I mean Facebook close her.(The other F close). Lead her into meeting you after her shift. Better yet, stay talking until she can get away and continue in a neutral venue.

This incidentally demonstrates your value, that you have experience with beautiful women who work for a living and that you are considerate to her needs.Not the drunk leery fuck who asks for her number in front of his mates.

That dear friends is just the tip of the iceberg. I have obviously skipped through much of the minutiae of regular game and stuck to the outline of the differences for this kind of interaction.

Email me with any Qs.

shamwow@puatraining.com

Stay classy,

Shamwow.

Dearly beloved,
It’s been a while since my last post, so for this one I would like to talk about a topic close to my heart: Polarity.
More specifically, sexual polarity.
You see, one of the commonest sticking points I see with students, is the inability to comfortably behave as the alpha male. You know, the guy who leads the girl, has a commanding presence, lives by his own rules and is not one to fuck with.

I suppose, society has evolved to brand this behaviour as brash, obnoxious and even downright misogynistic, and as such we all to some extent have a tendency to suppress this behaviour as it feels uncomfortable to many. Almost to the point of apology for behaving as a man.
The fact that approach anxiety even exists is testament to how we are socially programmed away from our male polarity.

The idea of polarity is, like opposite poles of a magnet which attract, male behaviour attracts female behaviour, and this primal response is integral to the mating process.
The challenge is figuring out what polarity means in an increasingly feminised society.
If this is your sticking point, breaking it WILL be out of your comfort zone.

In nature, the alpha male is the male of the pack with the highest rank, normally associated with his physical prowess. Aggression is often a characteristic of an alpha male, but this is merely a manner of carrying oneself rather than trying to pick fights all the time as this is not usually conducive to survival. And yes, all the chicks like to go for the alpha male. Being the alpha male in nature is the ultimate status symbol.

So I’d like to highlight a number of so-called characteristic male traits, to help create a picture of masculinity.

Logical.
Cocky/Confident.
Physical.
Aggressive.
Competitive.
Sex-oriented rather than love-oriented
Controls emotions.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but as much as we can accept that all these qualities are undeniably male, many of us have suppressed these qualities under the belief that they may be considered socially unfavourable.

Now, at this point, I don’t want groups of guys running out slapping girls on the bum and calling them “Toots,”but I would like us all to figure out where these qualities fit in the modern world.
Indeed, it is no coincidence that these qualities contribute to what many women are attracted to.

This leads me to a point of significant confusion in the understanding of inner game.

We teach students to not be dependent on outcomes and to eliminate neediness and want. Yet at the same time, we are aiming for them to go for the close.Seems like a contradiction in terms.However, we are trying to teach sexual intent, rather than focus on outcomes.

So what’s the difference?

Well, it all boils down to who you are, ya know, how you roll. If inside, you are the kind of guy who for argument’s sake, wants to get laid because it would mean kudos with your mates, then it means that you are seeking value and this repels when projected.
However, if someone gets laid a lot and that is just a part of who they are, then not only does that create a state which women will want to be a part of, but also makes their intent more natural, almost animal.

I guess then that as an inner game concept, we should be aiming to create Animal Intent. That is to tap into our instinctive drive to seek out sexual partners in the first place. Without regard to social pressures. Or being liked. Or looking cool. Or bragging rights.

And here’s the thing. Girls know it straight away when they see it. And they cannot resist it. Because it’s, you know, science.

So how do we get it?

It’s all about becoming a sexual being. Being appreciative of the purity of the sexual act. Work out what sexy is to you. Not to everyone else.Be your sexuality from the outset-this means kino, kino, kino (if you are into German cinema) and most importantly not hiding your intent when you see sexy. Be unapologetic about it. It should be projected in the way you look, the way you move, the way you treat people. It is not something that springs out at the last minute.

Now scroll back up to the list of characteristic male traits and it will become apparent that they are all products of our Animal Intent. It is also quite absurd that we have “evolved” in society to suppress many of these, as this suppression serves to complicate our social mechanisms.

Now a disclaimer. Expressing your Animal Intent is not the same as going around being a dick, a misogynist or a general sex pest. The aim is to develop your natural instincts, not a sexual harassment lawsuit. The key to this is calibration. This is hard to achieve without really following by example, so maybe use a role model. Go out a lot to find your groove. Maybe take a boot-camp. And unleash yourself..

Stay classy.

Shamwow.