On my travels I have come across a wide variety of people. All of whom have either given me some amazing experiences, or a sharp lesson to be learnt. Sure, some can be quite tough to open, but there’s nothing like winning a girl round who was previously scowling at your audacity to start a conversation with her.

But proceed with caution young Daygamer, for there are many treacherous hidden traps that await you on your sexy quest.

Some girls are more steadfast 0n their mission to remain strictly ‘unopened’ and are, I’m not afraid to admit,  extremely difficult if not impossible to open.

Some others out there will do everything in their power to thwart your attempts at approaching the girl you want.

But by letting everyone know who these daygame villains are, hopefully it will help to give you guys a competitive edge. Once identified, maybe, just maybe, these daygame nightmares will be no match for your skill.

So who are they?

Let’s start with the easiest to overcome and make our way through to the vilest and scariest of them all.

1) The Stormtrooper

Ok, these girls are in a HURRY. Have you ever seen anyone power walking before? This is what The Stormtrooper does.

She is LATE.

For something.

I’m not sure what, but what whatever it is she needs to get there.

FAST.

Usually characterised by the panicked look on her face and the high velocity with which they travel, these characters are a very tricky breed indeed.

But all is not lost!

In my experience they are usually in a hurry for one of the following reasons:

1) they are late meeting a friend

2) they are late for work

3) they are running to catch a bus

4) they are trying to get to a job interview/casting

If you approach and you find out she’s doing one of these, there are two possibilities:

1) Tell her you’re going in the same direction and walk with her.

I think it is ideal if you can stop a moving girl and talk to her from a stationary position, but if there is no choice, as in this instance, then make sure you give a false time constraint as you start walking with her, for example, I’ve gotta go up this way but I’ve gotta head off to the right in a few minutes. The a false-time-constraint serves to intercept the thought that might pop into a girl’s mind when it is clear that you intent to stick around for a while – the thought that says “oh no, how long is this guy gonna be here for? What if he turns out to be a weirdo?”.

Of course, you’re not a weirdo, this thought just stems from a lack of information about you. She doesn’t KNOW that you’re not weird yet. So you throw in the false time constraint to navigate this social landmine, which will buy you some time to demonstrate your non-weirdness. Then when you feel the time is right you can tell you her really have to go, and go for the close. If the interaction has been short, it might be wise to go for a Facebook close rather than a number, as this is less likely to flake.

2) Go for a FAST close.

What you need to do is to voice concerns she may have, but as if they are your own concerns.

For example:

- you’re a complete stranger and she has no idea whether you’re a weirdo crazy person or not.

- this is a very unusual situation, people don’t normally do this.

- You might start texting me all the time and calling every day.

So I might say this to her:

“Look, you’re super cute – and you don’t SEEM like a crazy person ;) … I’d really like to talk properly but I’m in a MASSIVE rush, I’ve got a meeting to rush to. I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m REALLY busy at the mo, but if I get a spare sec at some point I’ll shoot you a text or something. Put you’re number in here. Quick I’ve gotta go!”

Make sense?

So you’re kind of addressing all the issues she might be thinking, but you’re telling her that’s what you’re thinking about HER.

Jolly good. If you follow this advice, you’d be surprised what you can get away with.

I once stopped and number closed a very cute girl as she was about to jump into a waiting taxi! :)

2) The Blank Foreigner

The arch nemesis of the BNP (British National Party – small right wing/fascist political party here in the UK). According to Mr Griffin (the leader of the party) they represent everything that is bad about the world!

Well, Mr Griffin clearly hasn’t been to Sweden.

Or Denmark.

Or Norway.

Because if he had, he probably wouldn’t have come back (not a bad thing…).

Let’s face it, when the big cheese upstairs was dishing out the good looks, english people were in bed, with a hangover, after downing 15 pints of stella the night before due to the football match on down the pub. By the time they turned up the big man didn’t have much left in his sexy sack.

I wasn’t there at the time, but from the results of his handy-work I’d guess that camping out at the front of the line weeks before the pearly gates even opened for business, were the Swedish, Danish, Norwegians, Russians, Lithuanians, Latvians, Brazilians and Argentinians.

So, as you can probably tell, I LOVE foreign girls.

I PREFER foreign girls.

But there is one type of foreigner that evades me still.

The Blank Foreigner.

There she is. Her blonde russian locks rippling in the autumn wind as you walk towards her.

She smiles at you. You smile back.

Time to do some daygame.

“Excuse me, were you smiling at me there? Or just thinking of puppies?”

Her smile fades.

The blank look.

“eerr….. um….. no.. english….”

Shit.

“Oh… erm…. er…. I…… I SAID, YOU….. smile at me?!   um….. ”

The blank look.

Crap.

What’s the best thing to do in this situation? Well, if you have a notepad and pen with you, you could definitely have a fun interaction with her by drawing things on the pad to describe what you’re saying. I’ve done this a few times and it’s been loads of fun. I once number closed a really cute Japanese girl who literally didn’t speak a word of English by doing this. But when I called her I realised how completely pointless that was! (think about it)

I usually like to gesture my opener to the girl if she doesn’t speak english.

“I” (point to me)

“saw you” (point to my eyes, then to her)

walking” (show my fingers walking)

And I thought you looked gorgeous (put my hands on my heart and pretend im dumbstruck)

Usually gets a cool reaction :)

Saving that the best thing you can do to prepare to tackle The Blank Foreigner is to LEARN THEIR LANGUAGE. Or carry around a rucksack full of translation books everywhere you go!

3) The Psychic

Psychics are impossible to spot, until it’s too late. They look like every other girl. The act like every other girl. But there is a difference.

They can read your mind.

Allow me to elaborate:

You see a really cute girl walking in the street. You consider approaching her, but you have AA. Wait, fuck it, remember what Andy said! Just do it! Ok, let’s do it!

But the SECOND you decide that you ARE going to approach her, she hails a taxi, darts into a shop, pulls out her phone or starts running in the other direction.

Dammit! What are the chances?

This is a common occurrence for the seasoned Daygamer.

Sometimes you come across a special breed of ‘EvilPsychics’ that prefer to wait till the very second you’re about to open before they get on the phone, dart into a shop, or run for a bus. They get a kick out of knowing that they thwarted you right at the last moment.

The only way to combat a psychic in my experience is to show her that you WILL NOT BE DENIED!

“Oh you’re making a phone call? It’s too bad that I’m gonna have to interrupt the call”

“You’ve disappeared into Topshop? Well, I guess now I’ve gotta go in there after you!”

You get the idea.

Don’t let a psychic win. Show her that she can read your thoughts all she wants – you are the kind of man who doesn’t take no for answer. You see Psychic’s test men just like other girls, e.g, but putting up a bit of token resistance, only they do it before you’ve even approach! They test your INTENTION to approach. The only way to win is the APPROACH! Once she see’s that her psychic abilities are no match for your raw masculine determination you’ll have her melting all over her glass ball.

4) The Ninja

I will tell you now that closing a ninja is impossible.

Have you ever closed a Ninja?

No?

That’s because it’s impossible.

Ninja’s are out there on the streets – and like the psychics, are disguised as normal girls. Ninja’s aren’t psychic… at least I don’t think they are. All I know is.. is that they seem to know what I’m going to do and when I’m going to do it. I can only assume it’s down to their secret ninja skills.

The following is a prime example of a ninja at work.

I’ll be out teaching a student, looking for some nice girls for him to approach. In the distance there is a pedestrian clearing – a large space open to the public – it is totally deserted except for one lone girl. She is very sexy indeed.

Perfect I think.

I turn to my student and tell him to approach that sexy girl over in that clearing.

“What girl?” he says.

I point to the clearing. “That girl…….” and realise that I’m pointing into open space.

The girl has vanished.

The wind picks up, and out of the corner of my eye I see a blurred shadow pass by one of the rooftops. Nothing is left in the space where she was apart from some dust in the air, slowly settling after what looks like some kind of disturbance moments before.

That girl was a ninja. And ninja’s don’t like to talk to strangers.

5) The Mirage

We tend to trust our senses. The more hard-headed of you tend not to believe something until you see it for yourselves. I know I didn’t truly believe this pick-up stuff could work untill I saw someone else do it with my own eyes.

But sometimes our eyes can play tricks on us. What appears to be there at first, ends up not being there.

Like WMD’s in iraq (erm.. andy.. this isn’t really the time to get polital. Let’s stick to girls ok?)

Maybe things can CHANGE before your eyes. They look like one thing, then as you get closer, you realise that it’s something completely different.

This, unfortunately, occurs far too often in Daygame. So often infact you start to question your very senses.

One minute you are strolling up to who you think is Miss Sweden 2009, then just as you say hello and she turns round, you realise you’re actually talking to Miss Basildon 1983.

In your head all you can hear is your mental co-pilot screaming “EJECT” EJECT! EJECT!”, but it’s too late. You’ve opened, and now you’ve gotta stick with it. Running is an option, but definitely a rude thing to do. Best thing to do is ask for direction then politely thank her an be on your way.

You can clean your eyeballs with a wire brush when you get home.

6) The Boyfriend

I think these characters are related to Ninjas.

If not by blood, then definitely by association. They know their ways.

Dressed as regular people they move fast and unseen, camouflaged in a sea of innocent people.

Then out of nowhere they appear then vanish just as suddenly, taking with them the girl of your dreams who only seconds before you had just fallen in love with.

Sometimes they strike before you get a chance to approach.

You see  the girl, build up the courage to go and speak to her, then seconds before impact, he appears in a cloud of smoke, whisks her off her feet and carries her off into the sunset.

Other times it’s not quite so simple.

You’re walking along the highstreet.

You’ve walked this path many times before. You know every shop, every slab of pavement, every tree. You barely pay attention.

Then you see her. Suddenly you’re world comes alive. What was once a grey, dull landscape is now made up of bright vivid colours.

Life is beaufiful.

She is beautiful.

Dazzling.

You must talk to her.

But I can’t… she’s out of my league… there’s no way she’d like someone like me… no… no.. come on.. what did Andy say?  What was Matthew Hussey’s line again?….  “If you can’t, you must!”

I can’t….

so I MUST!

Fuck it, you adjust your course and head straight towards her.

Your heart suddenly decides to let you know you’re doing something silly.

Your stomach feels left out, so jumps on the jolly bandwagon.

Now your legs are in on the action.

Shit, too late to turn back now…

“Hi… excuse me…. sorry to bother you, I just saw you walking past and…”

Suddenly a caped man swoops down from the sky and embraces the beautiful girl in his arms of steel, kisses her on the lips and then turns to you with a smile.

“Hiya mate, what’s up?”

“um…. i just…… um…. wondered if you knew where Leicester Square is?”

Phew – good thing you’re quick on your toes – catastrophe averted!

(seriously though, if this ever happens to me I just tell the truth, then compliment the guy on his taste in women and say he’s a lucky guy and shake his hand. It shows the guy respect, and I’ve never had a single bad response – even if the guy did have arms of steel!)

7) The Dad

You see the girl waiting on the corner of a street, and decide to approach (hopefully thanks to my advice!). You open, she smiles – it looks like you could do quite well.

But wait…

Something’s wrong…

A disturbance in the force.

A glitch in the matrix.

Suddenly you realise.

What you had previously thought was a film poster advertising the latest brutal action film with the cage fighting lookalike lead actor glaring out from under the film title, is infact, a massive scary cage fighting man glaring at you infront of a what you can now see is a Disney film poster.

There’s no mistaking this man. It’s The Dad.

Now let’s get something clear; The Dad does not like you.

You could be the nicest guy in the world, and could have opened in the most charming way possible. It makes no difference.

Unlike her mum, sister or friends, this man knows what men are like, and will assume you are the worst of them. As you stand there trying to keep your breathing in check, he is imagine you doing things to his daughter that would definitely not make the cut in that Disney film.

His precious daughter.

His angel.

His princess.

You are in big trouble. You have seconds to act, or this interaction is over.

As far as I can see it, you have three options:

1) Run – you’ll get away, but the number is unlikely unless she runs after you!

2) Quickly revert you’re opener to an indirect opener. You’re just a friendly guy asking for directions. You definitely do NOT want to do anything with this girl that The Dad would not happily agree to. Start talking to The Dad as soon as you can. Charm him. Win him over. Make him laugh. Make him like you. Once he likes you, you are in with a chance. At the end of the interaction either ask him if it would be ok to grab his daughter’s number (risky, but can work), or better still, tell them about this party you’re having in a few weeks and both should come down. The number close should be easy from here – obviously you don’t want the dad coming to any party of yours – you can just tell her later that the party has been cancelled and game as normal. The key is that you got the number.

3) If you’ve already gone direct and the dad knows exactly what you’re up to, turn you’re attention immediately to The Dad and engage him in the interaction. Tell him the direct opener. Tell him what you’re saying about the daughter – this way it looks like you’re almost asking his permission, or seeking his approval – so he will feel you are being very respectful. If he responds well then you are in with a chance. If he doesn’t then you might want to consider reverting back to option 1.

——–

If I discover any more dastardly villains out there I will upload a revised article. For everyone reading this, If you know of another daygame foe that I’ve overlooked please let me know!

Andy Yosha
(http://www.puatraining.com/andyyosha)

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Click on link above for the video ;-)

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This post is in response to replies to my last post on being (‘Free of Control in a Relationship’) An off topic came up and I also have had e-mails from people around the world worrying about the same thing. The subject being other men and a woman’s past. The general concern is relating to PUA’s. Guys worrying that PUA’s have some special powers to steal their women.

I quote a reply from previous post

“Dear Sweeney,

I have a question. Becomes you know how guys tend to present their s$x lives like they sweep women with some magic spell and f@%k them silly then toss them to the curb like they were some 20p toy.

sometimes i think shit. what if this girl im dating like got f@%ked on a one night stand or got spitroasted by some hot PUA guys like you read it in the field reports. its like gahhh. yes its great for them but i wouldnt want their left overs and sometimes i worry like could ALL women fall for that spell? because pua guys make it seem like they could casually f@%ck any woman and toss her out.”

This is really not about any other man’s sexual abilities or strengths but the route of the matter is a person’s own insecurities and lack of self worth. You really have to value yourself and realise there are things you can offer that no other man be (film star, MPUA, natural, whatever…..) can. Indentifying those qualities and embracing them in a non-egocentrically way is the way to have great inner game! However on a bigger scale the more you learn about yourself, the more you will become aware of what will make you happy in any kind of a relationship and not what you THINK will make you happy but the qualities in a person that will! The key to being able to identify the kind of partner that will actually bring something to your life and make you happy and then you will stop wasting your time trying make gorgeous loss causes work with game and manipulation. (See my last post on ‘Letting go’)

From a logical or ‘Game’ perspective other guys are really not a problem. They only become an issue if you let them in your head and then all your silly insecurities rage to the service in a needy way which repels them. The reason other guys are no competition is a thing called PAIR BONDING. When two people have s&x, oxytocin and Endorphins are released, which helps bond the relationship. This is much stronger in women. When it is released during orgasm, it begins creating an emotional bond — the more s*x, the greater the bond. That is why it is important not to put the stunningly beautiful, well brought up, good morals, ‘not that kind of girl’ on a pedestal and be scared of escalating out of respect. She wants a guy to lead her to that place even if she hasn’t been there often. That is all MPUA’s do because they know this and know it is all about creating sexual comfort! MPUA’s do this rapidly hence they don’t spend months like other guys getting a girl to be sexual with them. So you see others guys are just not to be worried about because they DON’T have that bond with her. So a woman can see the most sexual and stunningly good looking guy in the world and look at him in amazement but still not act on it or even want to. If a girl is totally in love with me Brad Pitt couldn’t game her off me, there are things I can offer her that Brad can’t (and vice versa but I am sure he is happy with Angie so I’m safe ;-) you should have the same attitude.

I regularly have ‘Top PUA’s’ asking me for advice, they have issues too. However what gives top PUA’s a ‘glow’ apart from over the top non-natural marketing is that they understand

Sexual dynamics and escalation

Themselves (the foundation)

And have a real sense of inner confidence because they know how to be their most attractive self.

That differs from PUA to PUA. However that is all you can hope for….. ‘To be your most attractive self,’ what more could you ask for and then you will feel happy and be coming from a place of abundance and peace. And remember, as my good friend Gambler says ‘Anything that another human can do is learnable by you’ that is why our bootcamps and events are always full of people learning these things…….. Otherwise we wouldn’t be in business.

So if……

You are able to identify and embrace your individual attractive qualities and what you’re ACTALLY looking for in a partner.

Are able to be your ‘most attractive self’ through natural game

And finally you’re having s$x with your partner therefore strengthening the bond each time.

So it does not matter if ‘Mr. Super big balls MPUA super s”x star dripping in s@x appeal’ comes along she is bonded to you not him and his presence should not affect or intimidate you just a great opportunity to display your security and strength.

Finally you CAN NOT be jealous of her past so don’t bother. One of the top 3 qualities of millionaires and leaders is they don’t spend time worrying about things that they have no control over. You can’t control her past but you can control your future together. Using the 3 things above will help to make that a brighter future and with no fear of other men.

Much Love

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Just a quick one…. I have a couple of weeks off from my busy timetable so I will try and post a little more as I don’t always manage to get to share as much as I would like guys

One of the many objectives a PUA has is to get a girl ‘in state’ as when a girl is in state it makes seduction and escalation much more rapid. The better you become at state control the less time and effort you will need. People will not see you ‘gaming’ because you will be too fast! It is called being seductive. As we all know people use many different ways to get her in the right state. Might be through NLP, kino routines, stories, a ‘YES LADDER’ etc. etc. there are so many ways. Some guys even tell a girl what they find attractive in a women or use a 3rd person and loan behold the girl then starts behaving in that way. A natural uses his frame and aura to get her in the zone without any tricks. The way he talks, touches her, eye/lip movement, smile, you name it! He has the touch.

So the place where I believe you will find girls in a positive frame?

If they have just finished watching the film ‘THE YES MAN’

Serious, go on the pick up outside there because whole film is like one big Yes ladder. People are in an adventureous state and it may not last long! Play on the sense of being open to new experiences or people. I have a feeling this is going to become a popular Day2 dvd choice.

Let me know results

Take it easy guys

Pete :-)
P.S. Hopefully you will run into HBs who have seen that film oppose to some deep Russian tragegy….. But in fact that will be cool too because they will need comfort. In fact I’ve found a cinema is a great place because people tend to feel very open and emotional in one way or another as they have been on a journey. So depending on what film they have seen, you will have to adapt the angle you are coming in at. It is great fun!

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Hey guys! Just a few thoughts about conversational technique.

Take License to Lead

Remember, when you first meet a woman, you have a license lead the conversation wherever you want to take it. As difficult as it can sometimes seem, being a man means taking charge and knowing what you want. Have confidence in what you’re saying; you can express this both physically and verbally.

So for example if I’m in set I might do something I like to call the Chess Pieces routine. If I’m standing in an awkward position I’ll jokingly look confused and say “No, no, this is all wrong”. Then I’ll physcically move the girls myself by putting my hands on their hips and re-positioning them around me until I’m in a position where they are all facing me and I’m leaned against the bar. Then lean back and say “ahhh, now this is much cosier for a little conversation isn’t it? Where were we?” You don’t need to make a meal out of this whole manuevre. Just do the whole thing quiet swiftly and nonchanlantly and it will powerfully convery inner confidence. (Make sure you make it clear with your facial expressions that you’re being a bit silly and having fun with them).

Embrace Being Unconventional

Don’t feel the need to be bound by social norms. Your power is in being different to every other guy. Think about it. Attractive women meet a lot of guys on any one night out. She may have three or four phone numbers by the end of the evening, so if one of them is yours, what are you going to do that makes her remember your name when it pops up on her Caller ID? I mentioned this in an earlier post, but women I have dated have always brought up the fact that I really stood out for them when we first met. Remember, there is so much more than just conventional conversation. Have fun with roleplaying, silly games, high fives, accuse her of being too forward, misinterpret what she says as being something sexual. Enjoy the experience of defying social norms!

Always be Moving Somewhere

Don’t get stuck and wallow in the early stage of an interaction. The biggest problem for newcomers is hanging on the opener for ten minutes until the topic completely runs dry. Don’t be afraid to cut off threads that are going nowhere! If you can feel the conversation growing stale don’t feel obliged to talk a subject to its death. Just cut it off and run into something else. Or completely change a girls frame by just cutting through the bullshit e.g. “Look, are you gonna be my girlfriend or not?”. This works great just to jolt her and step things up a gear, playfull of course!

See you soon, and take care guys,

Feel free to email me at matt@puatraining.com

Matthew H – Master trainer & Confidence expert

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Hey Guys,

Responses to the Self-hypnosis audio have been brilliant – thanks to all of you who have emailed me or posted comments (if you want to listen you can do so here ). You can download the file here

A few of you have asked questions so I’ve decided to write some responses to answer a few of them……….

 

Noel asked “Does NLP / Hypnosis work with everyone?”

The thing to realise is that NLP and hypnosis use thought processes and patterns and are already part of peoples’ functioning and, in fact, most of them are modelled from people who are doing thing or being a particular way. Let me give you an example:

People sometimes say to me they don’t know if their visualisations are powerful enough and I ask “Have you ever experienced anxiety?”. The thing is, to experience anxiety a person has to imagine something happening in the future and usually make a picture of some event or situation that they wouldn’t want. So, firstly, this means they have the ability not only to make pictures internally, but also to construct pictures of things that haven’t even happened yet. And, they are able to make the pictures so vivid and lifelike that they feel real feelings (anxiety) as a result of them. So, this means a person has the ability to create pictures that are so real they feel actual feelings now. That’s quite a skill. And, of course, if they can make pictures that make them feel one way they can make them feel another way.

Regarding hypnosis, then people enter trance states all the time. A simple way to consider trance is that it is a state characterised by a narrow focus of attention, everyday examples are driving trances, have you ever been driving and absorbed in your own thougts or ’in your own world’ and nearly missed an exit or junction? The TV trance is another, someone may not even hear their name being called because their attention is focused solely on the TV, they may even have their hand dangling in mid air holding the remote. When someone is experiencing approach anxiety, they may go into trance and literally go ‘blank’ so it seems like there’s nothing there.

So, the question isn’t really whether people can experience trance, it’s more whether the trances they are experiencing are serving them well, and, if not then hypnosis is one way to change this.

Linking to the question from Alif Aka Myth. You say you can’t seem to get the audio to work for you, my question is, How do you know it’s not working? But, more importantly, how would you know if it was?

A question to ask yourself is “Do you really want to understand how to be a great pua or do you want to BE a great pua?”

The aim of the audio is NOT that you consciously know what you’ve modelled from someone else. You can do that by observing them and analysing what they do. The aim of this is to learn unconsciously (which means you don’t know what is it you are learning, you just discover that you have) – which is how you learned as a child, you never consciously set out one day to learn to walk and analysed your progress as you went along. In fact, if you had it would probably have been the very thing that would have stopped you learning it.

I’m not suggesting that analysis and logical understanding aren’t helpful, only that this audio is about helping you find an alternative way of learning. We have been conditioned by our society that we must understand things before we can do them which is sometimes a very unhelpful way to work. Do you really want to understand how to be a great pua or do you want to be a great pua? If you actually want to understand it (which I would suggest only really has a benefit if you’re a trainer and want to teach others) then analysis will be useful, but if you just want to model someone  and be how they are then this will help you massively. Here’s one of the emails I received….

Hey Ben,

This week has been pretty interesting, friday night i applied non verbal opening / forcing a IOI – followed with a direct approach straight into a kiss – the rest was easy. Saturday was more of the same – kissed a girl i was out with some mates - after lots of strong eye contact, i walked up – took hold of her belt and gently pulled her into me – kiss kiss…. the come to bed eyes are improving haha – i wasn’t sure why this side of things is suddenly clicking – then i remembered doing your audio hypnosis! and using Gambler / Maverick as a model!

many thanks :)  Dan

Now, I’m sure there will be some cynical people out there who say, well, maybe these things would have happened anyway. And, maybe Dan would have done them without using hypnotic modelling. Only you will really know what effects it has after you’ve listened to it and, it may be that it’s only some time afterwards when you find yourself being different that you make a connection with that experience. Feel free to let me know your feedback.

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In my post The natural art of communication I described this art as interaction with another human being at the level of meaning. One way of thinking about meaning is in terms of relevance. A meaningful communication is relevant both to its initiator and its recipient. For many guys starting out in pick-up, their fundamental problem is that they are just not relevant – in a sexual way – to the girls they interact with. What pick-up teaches a guy initially is how to say things which are relevant to a girl. Because these things are modelled from men who are attractive to women – which the beginner guy is not yet – they are relevant to the girl, but not relevant to the guy – in other words they are not truthful representations of who he is. The idea is that over time, the guy gradually aligns himself with the HB-relevant things he is saying until they are relevant (truthful) also to him – problem solved. For many guys starting out this is exactly their expectation: they learn attractive things to say to a girl and then through a feedback mechanism they just become attractive themselves.

So where’s the flaw? Why do I hear things like “Game will get you as many girls as you want, but it will never make you happy?” and why do I see smart, successful PUAs out of the blue erasing their entire archive of posts and denouncing pick-up as the work of Satan? I believe the error is in supposing that human interaction can be modelled as a finite set of possibilities. It’s an easy error to make – rather than actually learning to understand what a girl means, you instead learn a winning strategy – a sequence of moves that gets you from A to B in any circumstance. But there are no winning strategies for infinite possibilities, so the model is necessarily an approximation. That means you use a generic model to get a generic girl, and you end up having a generic relationship or generic one-night stand with her. The lingering unhappiness in some of the most prolific PUAs is that in denying the possibility of a girl’s uniqueness, they also deny their own uniqueness; their life ceases to have any relevance to them.

Before I close, I wanted to add a short coda on how this discussion relates to the cult of teacher in the pick-up community. The old proverb goes that if you give a man a fish you feed him for a day but if you teach him how to fish you feed him for a lifetime. Guys who come into the pick-up community are like starving cats hungry for a fish; and there are plenty of teachers out there who’ll give them a fish, and then upon the release of their next product give them another fish, and so on. And the students will keep on coming back for more, because they’re hungry, and because it’s in the teacher’s interests to keep them hungry. But when he’s no longer able to feed them, or when another teacher somewhere else offers a tastier fish, they move on and in some cases renounce him, and rightly so because he’s been deceiving them. For me, the best teachers are the ones who teach you that they have nothing to teach you because you already know everything there is to know, and for that you might actually like them.

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Hey guys, I’m currently working on a new self-hypnosis product and I’ve produced a segment for you to listen to. This short recording will be of interest if:

You would like to develop your pick up skills, develop your abilities and accelerate the way you learn

You know of someone who can things you would like to do

or you know someone who has a way of being in the world that you would like to model?

The audio below will guide you through a short experience of how to alter you own state and model someone of your choice.  A lot has been written in the pua community about hypnosis and using it for seduction but hardly anything about how you can use self-hypnosis to accelerate your own learning and development. I’m going to share with you some ideas about using hypnosis to model other people who are excellent at something (which, by the way, could be pick up or anything else).

You will get the most from this if you decide the following before listening:

1.)    Who do you want to model? Who do you know that is an example of how you would like to be? (e.g. Gambler, Mystery, Tom Cruise, a comedian, singer, presenter – it’s not important that you’ve ever met this person BUT it is necessary that you have had some experience of them, seen them on TV,  listened to, read about – the more that you have experienced this model the more effective this process will be).

2.) What specifically do you want to learn from them?

3.) What don’t you want from them i.e. Are there attributes or other things which you don’t want to learn? Be clear on this one!

Once you have briefly answered those questions for yourself you may like to find somewhere you can relax safely for 15 minutes as you listen to the following audio. This is just a ‘rough cut’ recording so don’t expect studio quality.

I’d love to hear your feedback.

Ben

http://www.mediafire.com/?gtmicg96gbd8nuj

To experience Ben’s Hypnotics skills for Approaching Confidence, check out:

http://www.puatraining.com/specialoffer

Enjoyed this post? Then you're going to LOVE the material we've got waiting for you....here

Game is a specialised set of communication skills toward the purpose of picking up women. Outside of the pick-up community, discrete units of effective and repeatable communication in this domain are known as (chat-up) lines, whilst entrants to the community proceed directly to the more sophisticated monologues and dialogues known as routines. After a while, many guys tire of routines and look for a more seamless way of getting laid. At this point they are pointed in the direction of so-called “naturals” and are urged to observe and copy many of their attributes – their clothes, their lifestyles, their attitudes, their gym memberships. These attributes are basically macro-routines, again effective at picking up women, with the added advantage of feeling more natural. Guys who are able to adopt these routines are usually pretty successful with women, wear great clothes, and have enviable lifestyles – and this is the natural endpoint on most students of the pick-up arts’ paths.

So is there anything beyond this endpoint, something which separates pick-up as an art from pick-up as a toolset for success with women; is there something in the venusian arts which parallels the spiritual dimension of the martial arts? In order to answer this question, we need to consider for a moment the fundamental problem of communication, and what constitutes skill in its domain. In a communication, there are two participants – let’s say a PUA and a HB. The PUA communicates his meaning – or his intent – by means of a symbol – perhaps an action, or some spoken words – which in turn has its meaning (intent) interpreted by the HB in order to determine what response (action) she should take. Let’s view that diagramatically:

Meaning (intent) –> action –> meaning (interpretation) -> action

The PUA’s intent is the meaning he would like the HB to interpret. Her actual interpretation may not match his intent. For example, he may throw her a neg in order to cause her to respond with more attraction; but she may just think he’s an asshole and respond with less attraction. Errors of this sort are usually referred to in the pick-up literature as “miscallibration”.

Let’s flip things the other way around and have the HB initiate the communication. Here she says something like “I’m not going to sleep with you tonight”, where her meaning is in this case exactly the opposite. If the novice PUA interprets her words literally, his error stops this romance dead in its tracks. This is the fundamental problem of communication – that people don’t always mean what they say (or do), or say (do) what they mean.

Over time, however, people develop experience in a particular area of communication and more and more are able to say the right thing, and infer the right meaning. And this is what routines are for – they’re shrinkwrapped experience packaged for rapid progress in a specific area. But what if you’re unable to develop this experience – what if the mechanism for acquiring experience through the observation and participation in social situations is broken or dysfunctional in some way? And what if this failure is not a natural way of being but a product of the social and cultural environment in which we live? To be clear, I’m not talking about the guy who’s never even spoken to a woman, but moreso the guy who encounters women on a frequent and social basis but who is not able to enjoy the type of interaction with these women that he would like. Inadvertantly he has become an expert at the set of routines and behaviours necessary for not being successful with women. This may be because the set of routines necessary for being successful in business, or in the social domain which envelops his day-to-day affairs is quite contradictory to the set of routines necessary for being successful with women. Over-enthusiastic adopters of the routines germane to the pick-up domain often find that their success in other social settings suffers – this is what is known as “weird pick-up artist” syndrome.

So if the goal is to not replace one set of routines with another set and forever having to be swapping back and forth as appropriate, but to reignite the underlying ability for natural social observation and expression in any generalised environment, then how useful are the routines of pick up? This depends on whether a specific set or model encourages or discourages one’s natural social ability. On the one hand routines are described as the training wheels of pick up, stabilisers which support the bike whilst you learn how to ride on two wheels, and on the other hand people have described – and these are the ones who are self-aware enough to notice it in thesmelves – how routines have f@%ked them up and how they’ve had to go back and unlearn these programs in order to progress beyond a certain plateau. The art of communication, as it applies to pick-up or any conceivable social environment, is the ability to interact with another human being at the level of meaning, that is to interpret every action and to express every sentence without bias or preconception but purely on the basis of its meaning in that place and in that moment with that other person. The endpoint of pick-up for the pick-up artist should not be the number of girls he lays, or the enviableness of his social life, but the degree to which he has perfected his art of communication.

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Not every PUA is the same, not only do they have different gaming styles, but they also have different agendas:

1.   The guy that wants to be good for himself, to satisfy a need for women in his life.  He probably wants a true connection with one girl and a better social life generally.

2.  The guy that wants to get revenge on all the women who dumped and rejected him, to prove his friends wrong, to get back at the world that held him down for so long.  Each “notch” is a point won for mankind against those evil women and the anti-me society.

3.  The guy that wants to be a master of the art of pick up, just like an actor, a painter or anything else, he wants that deep understanding and it’s more about the art than the actual results.  (note – 2 guys on the team fall into this category!)

4.  The guy that does it for status with men.  He posts on message boards, he brags, he’s thinking about telling the story when he’s f@%king the girl, about writing the lay report when he’s persuading her to come back to the house.  His validation comes from men who look up to him for his exploits.  Emotion and relationships and connection is never present and he treats women like shit.  Damn him!

Guys, steer yourself in the right direction.  Love women.  You’ll be a lot more normal, happy AND successful if you do.

At some point in your development you will say “shit i’m changing, do I really want to CHANGE WHO I AM???”  This is normal and is actually a good thing.  You aren’t changing your core personality.  I’m still the same guy – I like a tight group of close friends, I don’t like socialising too much, and I still have a lot of my introvert qualities.  I didn’t become loud and brash.  Every change that has happened in me i’m happy about, it’s a layer of skills and a filling of gaps.

At some point you might also say “Shit, this stuff i’m doing is really weird!  Sarging?  HBs?  Targets?  2-set? WTF?”.  Again, don’t worry, this stuff IS WEIRD, but you won’t be doing it for long.  To accellerate the learning you need to go at it hardcore for a short time.  Go out a lot, be weird, hang out with other “weird” PUAs and imrpove your game.  USe canned openers, do palm reading even though you think it’s bullshit.  Think of it like going to university, you don’t go for your whole life, get what you need and leave.  It almost feels like PUA should never be a permanent title but only one you adopt for a short time to get the skills you need.  Then you leave “PUA University” and apply them in your social life to devastating effect.

Improving in game should be fuelled by a desire to fill a gap in your life, to add the skill of getting women.  When it’s filled, it’s filled.  When you can get dates with the girls you want, you are all set. I used to want revenge on the people at school who bullied me, on the teachers that said I was an idiot, and on the girls who called me ugly (especially the one who asked me out on April Fools’ day!).  I used to want to be the best PUA to show all the other so-called Gurus who got the hottest girls with the most natural game.  F^&k that, you will know when you have made it because that stuff won’t matter to you.  When you are so internally validated, so content with the person you are, these things will be meaningless.

If you are reading this and you want to be better with women, think about where you want to be, visualise it clearly, and you’ll be a step closer to getting there.  The guys that made it aren’t special like Olympic athletes.   They are just regular guys that worked hard, had the right attitude, and took action even if it was scary.  Not hard right?  So get to it, start now by doing something you know would be good for you but you haven’t had the balls to do!

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