The How and the Why…
Hey guys, last time I spoke about ditching your best dance moves, tricks and tactics in favour of enjoying the music and generating a positive vibe, something that most guys seem to forget the second they enter a nightclub. Just by enjoying yourself regardless of your dancing ability you may have noticed that you were getting much more positive female attention than you may have otherwise; this is due to the relief that girls experience when they are in the presence of a man that is not entirely focussed on finding out the colour of their underwear, and this comfort that is immediately established will cause the women to be drawn away from the wandering hands of other guys and congregate around you. This ability to lose inhibitions on the dance floor is vital, and a prerequisite of what I am going to take you through in this post, without it, although still useful, the structure I teach will not be as effective without the ability to generate this initial comfort, as the IOI’s you receive form the first and most important stage of dance floor game.
Phase 1: Social Proof Steps
Many PUA’s appear to view dance floor game and the rest of club game as separate entities, each with their own rules to follow. I agree with this to a certain extent, largely you should be escalating much more quickly on the dance floor than you might otherwise and talking should be kept at an absolute minimum. However, receiving more positive attention on the dance floor has exactly the same effect as it would in any other social environment, without getting too psychological, it is common knowledge that women take cues regarding male attractiveness from other women, therefore, when women are seen dancing near you, and giving you IOI’s your attractiveness will skyrocket making the rest of the steps that much easier. Additionally, many guys fear beginning the interaction with a girl on the dance floor, and are not quite sure of the best way to get her attention, to start dancing or to escalate from there. All of this is avoided by social proofing the dance floor first, when the girl you want is already looking at you, then those awkward first moments are avoided and you can move to the next step. This step is achieved simply by fully immersing yourself in the music as I stated in my last post, and not focussing on getting one particular girl, it should suit your personality (as an introvert, I prefer to keep it low key) and make sure that you are doing it for enjoyment and in no way seeking approval from anyone else.
Phase 2: Forcing the IOI
When you see the girl you want, and have built up social proof by drawing people in to your positive vibe, getting girls looking at you, with no investment on your part, (it’s not like you’re doing backflips to get attention), all you have to do is select your girl and IMMEDIATELY force an IOI from her, this could be by pointing at her, sticking your tongue out, anything that clearly acknowledges her from all of the other girls dancing close to you. This is important as all of the attention that you have gained is extended to her. Next, with the big smile you have from enjoying your dance floor experience, you hold out your hand for her to take, and all of that attention is now working in your favour to put pressure on the girl to dance with you (rather than pressure to avoid being seen dancing with a low value guy), then spin her in to you, ready for the next step.
Phase 3: Push-Pull
Another PUA term that is used most to describe emotionally distancing yourself from a woman, creating more space to pull her back in; in dance floor game, you can do this physically, by literally pushing her away from you then pulling her closer. This is the key to escalating quickly, when done right, after every time you push her away, when you pull her in you can physically escalate, for example, you are holding one hand at this stage of dance floor game – push away – pull towards and take both hands- push away – pull towards and move one hand to the small of her back – push – pull and move your hands to her waist, and so on, as fast or as slow as you wish to escalate —Disclaimer— Some Calibration Required — the reason this works is best explained looking through the eyes of a woman; almost all of the guys she has danced with have no concept of pushing the girl away, so they keep pulling and pulling, making the girl feel more and more uncomfortable until they take root and remain planted on her waist until she forcefully removes them, after this, she learns that dancing with a guy will inevitably result in uncomfortably pushing them away, however, when you are the one selecting her, and pushing her away, she does not experience that discomfort, and you show that you are not getting off on her getting close to you, that you do not need physical contact from her to validate your existence as a man. With this comes the ability to escalate much faster, without it being a big deal.
The physical push pull is where salsa steps may be useful, however they do not need to be more complicated than a simple spin towards and away from you, and gently pushing and pulling her by her hands, as long as that physical distance is created, the effect will be largely the same.
Phase 4: The close
Now, after you have danced with a girl and been doing your push-pull for a little while, you can choose to use the pre-selection you got from her to force the IOI of another girl (phase 2) and move on/bring her in, you could also go back to building your social proof in phase 1, gaining even more momentum, or you may choose to go for a close.
The best part of using push pull on the dance floor to escalate is that it smoothly works towards any of these options, particularly to a close. If you do decide to go for a close, you want to increase eye contact as you do your push pull moves, and you want to gradually increase the length of time she is pulled into you and decrease the distance she is pushed away, making the dance more and more sexual as it progresses. Ideally you will be familiar with the music you are dancing to and you will know exactly when to go for the pull into a close, (a k-close for example) it will be a time where the music cuts out, or has a pronounced beat that emphasises your movement (I will get to this in a later post) but when you go for a close, you want to pull her in closer than you have been, maintain eye contact and gently place your hand on the side of her neck and guide her as you go in for the kiss. It is that simple, again, with calibration; you will know when the best time to do this is. Then, before or after the kiss, you can continue or take her by the hand and take her off the dance floor.
There you have it, a complete structure to dance floor domination. If you want to know how it works then just think about it from a girls point of view: she notices a guy getting loads of attention from other girls ‘out of the corner of her eye’ this popular guy then selects her from all of the girls he could have (typical chick flick formula) and instead of having an uncomfortable grinding marathon, this guy is different, he leads her and constantly is mixing sexual pull towards him with fun spins and other moves (just like the movies) and shows he knows what he is doing by escalating with purpose, then slowly the room fades away as your eyes lock on until it is just the two of you sharing this moment, then the kiss is the icing on the cake.
Go out and give girls the experience they want and let me know how you get on and remember to always show respect for the girls first and foremost.
Stephen :)
P.S. I have tried to be as thorough as possible, but if you have any questions just leave me a comment. For the guys that can’t quite lose themselves in the music, I will try to get some pictures or video of me demonstrating some moves I use for low key social proofing next time.
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