PUA Training Blog

Hey Guys,

Responses to the Self-hypnosis audio have been brilliant - thanks to all of you who have emailed me or posted comments (if you want to listen you can do so here ). You can download the file here

A few of you have asked questions so I’ve decided to write some responses to answer a few of them……….

Noel asked “Does NLP / Hypnosis work with everyone?”

The thing to realise is that NLP and hypnosis use thought processes and patterns and are already part of peoples’ functioning and, in fact, most of them are modelled from people who are doing thing or being a particular way. Let me give you an example:

People sometimes say to me they don’t know if their visualisations are powerful enough and I ask “Have you ever experienced anxiety?”. The thing is, to experience anxiety a person has to imagine something happening in the future and usually make a picture of some event or situation that they wouldn’t want. So, firstly, this means they have the ability not only to make pictures internally, but also to construct pictures of things that haven’t even happened yet. And, they are able to make the pictures so vivid and lifelike that they feel real feelings (anxiety) as a result of them. So, this means a person has the ability to create pictures that are so real they feel actual feelings now. That’s quite a skill. And, of course, if they can make pictures that make them feel one way they can make them feel another way.

Regarding hypnosis, then people enter trance states all the time. A simple way to consider trance is that it is a state characterised by a narrow focus of attention, everyday examples are driving trances, have you ever been driving and absorbed in your own thougts or ’in your own world’ and nearly missed an exit or junction? The TV trance is another, someone may not even hear their name being called because their attention is focused solely on the TV, they may even have their hand dangling in mid air holding the remote. When someone is experiencing approach anxiety, they may go into trance and literally go ‘blank’ so it seems like there’s nothing there.

So, the question isn’t really whether people can experience trance, it’s more whether the trances they are experiencing are serving them well, and, if not then hypnosis is one way to change this.

Linking to the question from Alif Aka Myth. You say you can’t seem to get the audio to work for you, my question is, How do you know it’s not working? But, more importantly, how would you know if it was?

A question to ask yourself is “Do you really want to understand how to be a great pua or do you want to BE a great pua?”

The aim of the audio is NOT that you consciously know what you’ve modelled from someone else. You can do that by observing them and analysing what they do. The aim of this is to learn unconsciously (which means you don’t know what is it you are learning, you just discover that you have) - which is how you learned as a child, you never consciously set out one day to learn to walk and analysed your progress as you went along. In fact, if you had it would probably have been the very thing that would have stopped you learning it.

I’m not suggesting that analysis and logical understanding aren’t helpful, only that this audio is about helping you find an alternative way of learning. We have been conditioned by our society that we must understand things before we can do them which is sometimes a very unhelpful way to work. Do you really want to understand how to be a great pua or do you want to be a great pua? If you actually want to understand it (which I would suggest only really has a benefit if you’re a trainer and want to teach others) then analysis will be useful, but if you just want to model someone  and be how they are then this will help you massively. Here’s one of the emails I received….

Hey Ben,

This week has been pretty interesting, friday night i applied non verbal opening / forcing a IOI - followed with a direct approach straight into a kiss - the rest was easy. Saturday was more of the same - kissed a girl i was out with some mates - after lots of strong eye contact, i walked up - took hold of her belt and gently pulled her into me - kiss kiss…. the come to bed eyes are improving haha - i wasn’t sure why this side of things is suddenly clicking - then i remembered doing your audio hypnosis! and using Gambler / Maverick as a model!

many thanks   Dan

Now, I’m sure there will be some cynical people out there who say, well, maybe these things would have happened anyway. And, maybe Dan would have done them without using hypnotic modelling. Only you will really know what effects it has after you’ve listened to it and, it may be that it’s only some time afterwards when you find yourself being different that you make a connection with that experience. Feel free to let me know your feedback.

For my first year in the game, I made a mistake, or at least I could have done something a lot better… I left myself vulnerable.  I’d go out gaming and i’d meet girls.  Sometimes i’d get into a short relationship and really fall for a girl.  Then things wouldn’t work out and sometimes i’d get hurt and i’d go back to zero.  Zero meaning I had no prospects, and i’d have to go back to the drawing board - going out with PUAs gaming for girls.  It meant there were real highs and lows.

Now I still have the highs but I don’t have the lows.  I’m insulated from the bad stuff.

So what’s different now? I have some very good non-PUA friends who I enjoy spending time with.  Having non-PUA friends means going out just to have fun vs just going out to “game”.  I have lots of female friends.  People can support me if I need it, people can raise my mood if I need it.  I also have lots of options.  I can come out of a relationship and there are a bunch of girls who i’ve kept in touch with lightly on facebook or meeting now and again and they are girls that I can date and meet with.  This means I never go back to zero anymore, even the worst that can happen isn’t so bad.  I’m definitely never going back to my Cambridge days and i’m never even going back to the me of a couple years ago.

As another benefit to this lifestyle, things go bad less often.  Female friends give you better game, a good social life brings a good state most of the time and gives you better game, cool friends who have great qualities give you better game because you model their skills.   Because you have more going on and more power over your situation you are less likely to be week, needy or have one-itis.  You keep the girl because your behaviour and lifestyle is attractive.

So there it is, but how do you get there?  For me, all that I needed to do was shift my perspective, I didn’t need any more tricks or techniques.  I just decided that if I met any girl that I enjoyed talking to I would “friend close” her, if I met a cool guy or even saw one in the club I’d be friendly and make a connection.  It took literally a couple of nights to get a social cirlce of a few key people which has stayed with me ever since.   You can apply game in many ways and going for sex is the narrowest possible application of what really is a “social skill”.  The wider application brings for a great lifestyle, great friends, better game, AND even more sex! If you are in the situation I used to be in, I hope this helps.  If you are just learning game, change your course slightly to incorporate the above.

-G

Hi guys,

Just wanted to talk about “Attitude,”  as the way you think about people and the women you are approaching will affect the way you feel and the energy you project towards the girls and your overall performance. This is important because if you can make people around you feel good… they will love your company and want you  around more.

Here are a few thoughts i have about women and people and these are the thoughts that enable me to attract women quickly and easily…

1. Think of the target you are about to approach as if she is your best friend and you have known here for ages.

If you do this and you are able to trick yourslef into thinking/pretending that she is a friend, you will feel more relaxed and comfortable… why? Because you feel relaxed and comfortable around your girl friends don’t you.

2. You are making her day better! The point of every approach is to make her smile, make her enjoy her day just a little more and make her like being approached by guys.

3. Remember that she is just trying to find happiness and love just like everyone else so don’t judge her! Be nice towards her and treat her with respect but don’t treat her like a porcelain dole! Treat her like you treat your friends and talk to her the same way.

4. Be interested in who she is, what she enjoys doing and reward her for being nice and talking to you. When she tells you something, repeat it back to her (so she knows you are listening to her)

5. Treat her the way you would like to be treated, imagine you were in her shoes… how would you like to be approached by someone?

6. Talk to all the girls even if they don’t look like models, talk to every single person you have an opportunity to talk to and watch your people skills grow. Talk to the girl at the counter, have a laugh with the bus driver, get into the habit of being a guy who overflows with positive thoughts towards others.

You will be happier for it… when was the last time you did a nice thing for a complete stranger? Make it a habit every day to do at least one nice thing for a random stranger and watch how it make you feel good about yourself.

Keep approaching and I’m always here if you want some personalised help. 121’s are the best way to improve your game and there are lots of trainers on the site to pick from

Seriously, if you want to make massive progress today and not in the months to come, get some personalised help and ask your coach exactly what you want to learn and get him to demo!

Keep approaching!

THE DARK SIDE OF BEING A PUA:

Don’t be a strange, social robot, living a lie!

I love the community and I see what it has done for myself and more so for others around me. I have met some fascinating people and I have seen guys develop into amazing people and find their true self that was hidden away. However PUA has a dark, sad and (dare I say it) pathetic, unattractive side that I am seeing more and more. This post may be controversial and seen as not a ‘positive contribution’ but it is what I truly believe and see and I hope this is helpful and not destructive and I hope not to offend anyone. However even if these do cause offence they are my thoughts and I stand by them.

Some ‘top PUAs’ I see are social robots. Always gaming, never living! Recently I broke my rule and took up an invite to a couple of community events a friend was talking at. I met some guys who were experienced and successful PUA’s. However talking to these guys I really started to feel I had completely outgrown the whole PUA thing. A dangerous thing for a profession trainer to think I know. However, very quickly I realised it was not being a PUA that I had outgrown it was these guys approach to pick up that I could not relate to or respect. I could not connect with them as a human being, as a real person because quite simply they were living lie. They had become so removed from themselves and numb. Living the dream but in fact living a lie, one that was soon the catch up with them. I was speaking to one of guys in particular, a nice bloke and harmless (one of the top guys apparently) and he was just a social robot. All he did was talk in PU language. He was watching everything I was doing, analysing it, commentating on it and telling me stories about his success. He was also constantly worried I was ‘gaming’ him and jokingly telling me I was AMOGing him and then coming up with some cheap tactic to counteract it from chapter 7 of The Game or something, when in fact I was just being friendly and pulling his leg as friends do to each other because that is who I am…… that is my personality and it always has been, its is my true personality! Something this guys lacked. His insecurities about himself came raging to the service and even though he had learnt routines and concepts to maybe cover them up in a bar with a girl, he was only painting over the cracks and had not really worked on himself hence his reaction to me. Another guy I was talking to opened with saying “Hey I was sarging these 2 HB8’s and my target was giving LMR so I just ‘DHV’ed the fuck out of myself dude to my second target and NEGed my target, increased buying temperature and disqualified my target completely dude which was so cool because she keeps seeking valdation off me now.” He then went on to talk to me about the ‘social matrix’ and how he spots it instantly the minutes he walks into a room and works out how to destroy and concur it. There was no way I could ever be friends or even have respect for a person like this, someone who is a total social robot and has no natural game. I’d rather be an AFC (I’ve broke my own rule there I know) than be like him. Watching them talk to girls was like listening to an audio version of The Game. Granted it kind of worked at first, well they got a couple of flakey numbers but it was so transparent and a girl friend of mine (who knows nothing about pick up) said one of them seemed nice but strange, like there was something weird and not real about him she couldn’t explain…… and don’t get started on the dress code of these clones! I spot them a mile away which gives me time to find a fire exit. Anyway back to that night. So stupidly I mentioned I was meeting some friends in a club who were not PUAs just naturally very good with women (well there is no such thing as a nature in the true sense of the word, they have learnt it from somewhere in life, just not from a book etc.) and a couple of these PUA guys wanted to come and ‘sarge’ with us. No way! No way would I introduce these socially programmed machines to my Mother’s cat, let alone my friends……..they probably even start running routines on my goldfish! The sad thing was these guys were looked up to and it shocked and worried me some were starting to work as trainers in pick up (Not for PUA training BTW!)

More a more recently I feel some of the top guys in the community are lost souls, people who are living under a mask, with a painted on face of coolness. At first the mask can interest a girl but it is not natural and after spending time with them the mask starts to crack and then eventually crumbles because it just does not fit. I feel a lot of the guys live in a dream world of being a player, sitting around a table talking about pick up and routines and not going out there and enjoying life. They seem to always seek validation off women and it almost becomes an addiction where if they are not gaming they don’t feel a true man.

On the whole I tend to stay away from community events and most of my most of my social circles are not made up of PUA’s for the above reasons. I work for PUA training because I believe they are one of the few companies that have an ethos and a cool team of guys (and girls) who share the same beliefs as me, however except from those guys I work with  I don’t mix with PUA’s away from work. I think it is EXTREMELY unhealthy to surround yourself with purely game and also rather sad and desperate which are elements of a person’s life that need eradicating (to become masters in pick up) not indulging in. I think to be become a truly more confident, rounded, attractive person a guy needs to look for inspiration and development in other areas and not just from the seduction community and needs to be brave and look into himself to truly find the source of the problem. To ask themselves why they are looking for improvement in this area? It is about getting at the source of the issue and not papering over the cracks.

In a nut shell I’d say this: WORK ON YOUR SELF….. AND THEN BE YOUR SELF.

A ‘natural’ is really not a real term. I was discussing this with an NLP master friend of mine who said the same. A man is not born amazing with women he has learnt it from somewhere. Usually guys who are ‘naturals’ with women learn and develop this form an early age because they have been brought up around guys who are good with women or they come from social families/good at sport/good looking etc. They have still had to develop that skill and will have made mistakes along the way; just they had the advantage of learning sexual dynamics in their early teens so it is inbred in them now. However an old dog can learn new tricks, just takes a bit of work and there is no reason an older guy can’t develop these skills in a way that suites his personality which is already formed. Therefore learning routines, scripted material, concepts, sections, patterns in seduction etc. are EXCELLENT training tools and the idea for me is to use all these tools, see what fits then chuck away what does not and constantly look for inspiration in all areas of life. Concepts are also great as they are left up to the individual on how to apply that concept. A simple example - Building rapport/breaking rapport. Now that can be done thousands of different ways depending on the individual.

In the end hopefully a person will develop such a strong natural frame that they will not need any tricks and will feel confident to actually leave the whole seduction community behind and just enjoy living their life and the company of a beautiful woman or several. What I think is highly dangerous and highly sad is to hang on to these things, a person needs to let go and trust themselves.

We all have had that honeymoon period where we obsess over pick up and it is a whole new world where anything is possible. It is cool to really dedicate to it for 6 months/a year, reading/training etc. to really find your feet. I know I did but I also had lots of other areas of my life that were full so it meant I did not over obsess it and I found inspiration from other sources such as actor training, stand up comedy, club promoting, writing, travelling……all mind opening. In the end I have hung out with some amazing MPUA’s, seen lots of different styles and approaches to it and been taught dozens of concepts and routines but in the end the way I now approach and open a girl is very complex and difficult to remember so concentrate guys. I walk over, smile, look her in the eye and say “Hi my name is Pete” and shake her hand! Tricky to follow I know! Joking apart I’ve actually come full circle, it took a lot of development to get there but it was all needed and I see the people who have that confident simplicity are the most successful and the most happy which I guess is what everyone is after.

The only way I can look at it is this. In a play a good actor will spends hours every day throughout the rehearsal process processing, analysing and breaking down the script, it can actually become a science, working out every little action attached to each word! However, in the end they have to throw away all that work and just be in the moment and hope all the work has stuck and when they are on stage, it is simply about listening and reacting and nothing else. This takes trust in yourself to let go, it can be very scary, especially when your Mum is in the audience! I think self development regarding pick up should be the same. Work on yourself and then be yourself………..just don’t be a social robot scared of being them self cos it is just not cool. Being someone else on stage for 90 minutes is tough enough I couldn’t imagine doing it in everyday life!

As always, I hope this has been helpful but ‘If we shadows have offended’…….pretend it was but a dream. Just take on what helps and ignore what does not.

Take Care and stay well.

Pete

Hey Guys,

Thank you for your responses readers.  I’m glad to hear you guys are giving it a go; it’s always great to be the part of the motivation behind your success.

This week’s lesson will be referring to what you do once you’ve got the motivation to go out.  It’s all good and well me telling you to go out but not if you’re standing there in that corner of the room like a lemon wishing you could go home- everyone’s been there! It’s that feeling that everyone else must know each other or be friends of friends and you feel like you’re completely out of place and couldn’t possibly talk to any of them. Let us be honest why would they want to talk to you?!

Now that’s the key, this question is the wrong question but it is pivotal in this lesson, the question should be; why wouldn’t they want to talk to you?!

Now if you can sit there and think of lots of interesting things about yourself, you think you are sociable and funny, easy to talk to etc. we can move on to the next part of the lesson if you can’t do this you’ll have to wait until next weeks lesson for your help, sorry boys!  If this does sound like you though comment and I’ll write about this next week depending on the demand!

So back to those of you who are happy with your ability to talk to people and boys, I don’t mean a long conversation.  However, I do mean one that isn’t awkward and consists of more than a weather forecast and a forced smile!  Here the lesson is about choosing your captive audience.  I have found that when working with clients without much experience they tend to pick difficult situations to open and then get depressed by a bad outcome.  Although it is good to get to a level where you can open any set, when in training try and pick open sets to practices on.  Therefore this week’s lesson is knowing who to approach!

This may sound like it’s obvious and easy to some of you but to a large majority it isn’t and it’s a skill that I teach.  It is pivotal in creating a good interaction and it isn’t decided on by the attractiveness of the lady in question, she isn’t more likely to talk to you if she isn’t attractive boys; you’re just more likely to be depressed if it goes wrong because you thought it would be easier!

This is turning into a long post with a lot of branches and questions guys. So next week I’ll tell you who to approach. However until then, if it is easy could you guys tell me, who should you, approach for an easy set?! I’ll respond to the comments and show the pitfalls next week!

On another note; I’m offering FREE yes the was FREE one on one sessions to anyone to can restore the data on my Macbook laptop hard drive after it had mechanical failure. Does any one have access to time in a clean room or feels that they can do the job if so email me or comment back with your contact details.

Until next time, have a great week!

Hey guys, I’m currently working on a new self-hypnosis product and I’ve produced a segment for you to listen to. This short recording will be of interest if:

You would like to develop your pick up skills, develop your abilities and accelerate the way you learn

You know of someone who can things you would like to do

or you know someone who has a way of being in the world that you would like to model?

The audio below will guide you through a short experience of how to alter you own state and model someone of your choice.  A lot has been written in the pua community about hypnosis and using it for seduction but hardly anything about how you can use self-hypnosis to accelerate your own learning and development. I’m going to share with you some ideas about using hypnosis to model other people who are excellent at something (which, by the way, could be pick up or anything else).

You will get the most from this if you decide the following before listening:

1.)    Who do you want to model? Who do you know that is an example of how you would like to be? (e.g. Gambler, Mystery, Tom Cruise, a comedian, singer, presenter – it’s not important that you’ve ever met this person BUT it is necessary that you have had some experience of them, seen them on TV,  listened to, read about – the more that you have experienced this model the more effective this process will be).

2.) What specifically do you want to learn from them?

3.) What don’t you want from them i.e. Are there attributes or other things which you don’t want to learn? Be clear on this one!

Once you have briefly answered those questions for yourself you may like to find somewhere you can relax safely for 15 minutes as you listen to the following audio. This is just a ‘rough cut’ recording so don’t expect studio quality.

I’d love to hear your feedback.

Ben

To experience a full weekend of hypnosis, self-hypnosis, and hypnotic

modelling, click here

So, the essence of my first post was along the correct lines and I support them with this post.

The truth is that it’s not that easy to get motivated to go out, especially when you’re not getting the results you were hoping for.  So, why not change your goals?  It’s always important to set your sights high but social improvement is not an over night phenomenon especially if you’re doing it without professional tuition.  With this in view setting realistic goal to get yourself started

E.g.

I will talk to five women for three minutes each tonight

or

I will approach an alpha looking male and  ATTEMPT TO make friends with him tonight to increase my social circle

It is true that if you don’t set your sights high you will never excel however it is also true to say that if you set them up to high you will set yourself up to fail!  Failing if that best way of learning what not to do but do it too much and you will lose your motivation to try.

Attempt to set small goal and we’ll move on to step three next time!

Hey guys

We quite often here things about outer game and inner game like they are two different things. For some reason I find it difficult to imagine any type of game without inner game.  To quote a friend; “Practicing outer game without working on your inner game is like going to the gym to gain muscle mass and not eating any protein. There are no long term results”.

Just wanted to share a few thoughts with you on some stuff that I learnt back in the
days which was really useful for me when it came to really understanding game.

Studies have shown that everything we say and do has a subconcious aim behind it.

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Not every PUA is the same, not only do they have different gaming styles, but they also have different agendas:

1.   The guy that wants to be good for himself, to satisfy a need for women in his life.  He probably wants a true connection with one girl and a better social life generally.

2.  The guy that wants to get revenge on all the women who dumped and rejected him, to prove his friends wrong, to get back at the world that held him down for so long.  Each “notch” is a point won for mankind against those evil women and the anti-me society.

3.  The guy that wants to be a master of the art of pick up, just like an actor, a painter or anything else, he wants that deep understanding and it’s more about the art than the actual results.  (note - 2 guys on the team fall into this category!)

4.  The guy that does it for status with men.  He posts on message boards, he brags, he’s thinking about telling the story when he’s fucking the girl, about writing the lay report when he’s persuading her to come back to the house.  His validation comes from men who look up to him for his exploits.  Emotion and relationships and connection is never present and he treats women like shit.  Damn him!

Guys, steer yourself in the right direction.  Love women.  You’ll be a lot more normal, happy AND successful if you do.

At some point in your development you will say “shit i’m changing, do I really want to CHANGE WHO I AM???”  This is normal and is actually a good thing.  You aren’t changing your core personality.  I’m still the same guy - I like a tight group of close friends, I don’t like socialising too much, and I still have a lot of my introvert qualities.  I didn’t become loud and brash.  Every change that has happened in me i’m happy about, it’s a layer of skills and a filling of gaps.

At some point you might also say “Shit, this stuff i’m doing is really weird!  Sarging?  HBs?  Targets?  2-set? WTF?”.  Again, don’t worry, this stuff IS WEIRD, but you won’t be doing it for long.  To accellerate the learning you need to go at it hardcore for a short time.  Go out a lot, be weird, hang out with other “weird” PUAs and imrpove your game.  USe canned openers, do palm reading even though you think it’s bullshit.  Think of it like going to university, you don’t go for your whole life, get what you need and leave.  It almost feels like PUA should never be a permanent title but only one you adopt for a short time to get the skills you need.  Then you leave “PUA University” and apply them in your social life to devastating effect.

Improving in game should be fuelled by a desire to fill a gap in your life, to add the skill of getting women.  When it’s filled, it’s filled.  When you can get dates with the girls you want, you are all set. I used to want revenge on the people at school who bullied me, on the teachers that said I was an idiot, and on the girls who called me ugly (especially the one who asked me out on April Fools’ day!).  I used to want to be the best PUA to show all the other so-called Gurus who got the hottest girls with the most natural game.  Fuck that, you will know when you have made it because that stuff won’t matter to you.  When you are so internally validated, so content with the person you are, these things will be meaningless.

If you are reading this and you want to be better with women, think about where you want to be, visualise it clearly, and you’ll be a step closer to getting there.  The guys that made it aren’t special like Olympic athletes.   They are just regular guys that worked hard, had the right attitude, and took action even if it was scary.  Not hard right?  So get to it, start now by doing something you know would be good for you but you haven’t had the balls to do!

Learning how to approach women is an amazing asset. I love seeing guys

on a boot camp become confident in approaching women they were

frightened of only a few hours ago. But there’s a recurring problem I

notice when guys get into this game. Single-mindedness, or more

accurately, pickiness. High standards are great, but limiting your

social interactions to approaching women you consider are 9 or 10s

won’t build your success quickly.

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