There’s no meaning to a flower unless it blooms.
-unknown
It’s great to be able to have the perfect opener in your pocket. To look at a situation and know the one liner that will instantly hook the girls and get you “in.” Lots of times I can do that. Lots of times students want me TO do that.
But there’s a problem.
When the students are with me, they walk up and deliver the line I give them.
“Do you guys think you could live in a house built of legos?”
“Do you like asians? Cause I am one.”
“Who lies more, lawyers or gobline?”
“Do I look like an arms dealer?”
“Premature ejaculation, what are your thoughts?”
And the girls light up and want to talk to them. The opener creates a reaction. But when they leave program, they run into a wall.
Now when they walk up, there’s a barrier between themselves and that place where the girl’s are willing to invest in the interaction. This can create MASSIVE issues if the guys get negative feedback that hinders them from opening next time they see a girl they want.
It’s as though when they’re with me, I can unsheathe Excalibur and bequeath it’s holy majesty upon the students, eliciting wide eyed wonder as unwitting girls are bathed in the awe of it’s glorious presence.
Then the guys go home and when they open they’re wielding…
Something else.
The girls just sort of stare at them, then each other, then back at the guy, as if to say, “what are you going to do with THAT?” Then the guy just sort of slinks off abashedly. Or stays in set with girls who are making fun of him when he’s not looking, or even more irritatingly, are polite for an hour before letting him know they have no desire to ever talk to him again.
Perhaps you’ve heard the maxim: you can open with anything.
This is true, but like most simple ideas, it’s a condensation of many understandings that allows more advanced practitioners to communicate with greater alacrity. You can open with anything congruent with both the emotional state of the set, and their perception of your value relative to theirs. Each of the openers listed above works in a certain situation, and bombs in others. When I look at a set and tell the student what to say, I’m attuned to the emotional reality of the set, and spit out an opener based on perception. When the student goes out on his own and spits out something I gave him, he’s blind to that emotional reality, and so his opener is uncalibrated. Using canned openers is like being pulled on a surfboard behind a boat, you can get a good ride, but you’re not learning to stand up on your own.
On the other hand, Zen opening allows you to condition yourself to take right action, while also reducing your outcome dependence and teaching you to become attuned to the emotional reality of the girls you interact with.
How’s it done? Simple.
You see a girl you like, you don’t TRY to get her. Rather, you immediately walk up, touch her to get her attention, and then just let whatever comes out of your mouth happen. What you say, after all, counts for very little anyway. People hook up more in foreign countries than almost anywhere else. Often they can’t even speak the same language.
It’s less about learning to manipulate the girl, and more about learning to trust yourself.
Be warned, you’ll bomb for a while. At first, your brain will punish you for exposing your ego in order to spare you the pain of seeing a more accurate map of reality. A reality in which you aren’t the big pimp you like to believe you are, the big pimp society tells you all worthwhile men must be. But once you do it enough, your brain will relent and start doing the things it’s programmed by literally BILLIONS OF YEARS OF EVOLUTION to do: make the girl want to mate with you.
This is Zen opening.
This is the key to taking consistent action.
Till next time guys,
If you don’t know what to say, just say something.
Love ya!
-The Braeden
