Archive for the ‘Seduction Tips’ Category

You’re back at her place, shirt off, kissing her hard nipples, then she says, “I’m so sorry, I don’t think I can do this.” Passion killer, right? Time to give up on the thought of hooking up with that chick? No way.

In the PUA world we refer to a woman’s last minute uncertainty about doing the dirty with you as Last Minute Resistance. LMR is a huge hurdle, and one that most guys fall at (after doing all the hard work of being a great date); however it isn’t impossible to overcome through a powerful combination of understanding and persuasion.

As I’m writing this I’m aware this sounds a little like a dark art; but it isn’t really. The problem is heaps of women, myself included, have been socially conditioned to not be socially or sexually liberated. She may feel like she wants to have sex; but then will hear her mom in the back of her mind scolding, ‘Sex so soon with this guy?! You don’t want to be considered a hussy now do you?’

Now whilst it should be a girl’s choice when she sleeps with someone, and no one should judge her for better or worse, whether it’s date 1 or 100; social pressure to not be a ‘slut’ will often give even the horniest fresher the jitters. So here are my five top tips to reassure her, so you guys can both have some fun:

1.       Give her choice: This is counter intuitive but often if you really try hard to convince someone to do something they’re uncertain of they’ll feel pressurised and even less likely to want to do something. Instead give options the whole way. If you grab a cab to head back to yours and she feels wobbly say, ‘Hey, it’s cool we can always go back to the party,’; or if you’re at your front door say, ‘This is my place, do you want to come up?,’ instead of assuming she will. If people feel like they’re choosing their own destiny they will feel much happier going through with it.

2.       Don’t keep pushing when she says stop: If you get a red traffic light you don’t just drive through it, unless you want to crash your car. So if you’re kissing her boobs and she asks you to stop because she feels uncomfortable, then trying to leap onto her giving you a blow job just isn’t going to fly. Instead reduce the tension levels, even to the point where you physically drop, rather than intensify, contact. This temporary ‘freeze out’ will help her to realise what she’s missing and hopefully she’ll then pounce on you.

3.       Let her know you’re not a player: Even if you think, ‘wow I’m so lucky to have picked this one hottie up,’ girls will often test you to see if you’re a ‘player’ if they go back with you. This is because we’re afraid that we’re a little smitten with you and we want to know that you don’t just hook up with every girl you meet. The reality is of course a lot of guys would love to hook up with every girl they meet- but can’t. However, if I’m getting naked in your bed I always think ‘this guy is the best PUA in the world!’ Help her to overcome her fears by reassuring her, ‘I never just go home with girls I meet on the first date you know; but there’s just something about you…’ and she’ll feel reassured enough to carry on (even if that was a tiny white lie).

4.       Vocalise her fears: Another trick that’s linked to this is the ability to verbalise what you think her fears might be. If you think she’s worried about other people gossiping, whisper, “Don’t worry babe, this moment is just going to be shared between the two of us. I’m not the kind of guy to tell my friends who I’m dating.” If you think she’s worried that you won’t respect her for sleeping with you on the first date remind her, “hey this isn’t a one night stand you know; this is the first of a lot of amazing dates.” Just be sincere if you can.

5. Explain your reasons for wanting to continue: Also be ok to tell her ‘why’ sex with you would be amazing; but instead of saying something explicit focus on it being seductive:

“I know this is really fast, but I’m just crazy about you. You’re beautiful. I want to spend hours exploring your body and kissing you here, here and here…”

Hopefully with these five tips combined all you seducers (and seductresses) out there will never have to leave your dorm room semi-naked, kissed and incredibly frustrated ever again. Just remember though when you’re convincing a person to sleep with you always be genuine, honest and great in bed!

For any more tips and advice on how to always get the girl check out www.puatraining.com

Hey guys,

For this post I want to go through with you a strategy for effectively gaming at night. This will not be heavy on technique but will help explain how to correctly navigate your way through the often confusing world of night game. This is the first of three posts in which I will cover the three locations of night game: clubs, bars and the street, and by the end of them you should have enough knowledge of the social situations that you can effectively game in them, for practice or for a goal.

The basics of Club game:

The Environment:

The most obvious point to start is the environment in a club. It has loud music, a lot of girls who have bitch shields up, a lot of drink, and not nearly enough space! While this may sound like hell to someone practicing game it is in reality the best place to practice! The atmosphere is intimidating because it is designed to be, especially to guys. The club makes it’s money on the bar, so the more uncomfortable someone is, the more likely they are to buy drinks. Once you recognise this, it is easier to deal with it, and use the environment to your advantage:

• If it is cramped while standing it is a great excuse to open by asking someone to move up so you can sit down, or get to the bar. It is also great as a method of isolation: ‘it is too cramped/hot/loud, lets go to the smoking area for some air/more space/some quiet’.
• As it is loud it is perfect to get close to hear and to kino!
• If other guys are clearly uncomfortable, by being (or acting) calm and as if you are having fun you put yourself in a positive light and differentiate yourself from the rest!
• If you can get past a girls bitch shield you not only get a huge amount of respect and feel great but it becomes easier to open her group up, and other groups around! Bitch shields are also a great source of self amusement, they allow you to be a bit inventive in getting round them and it is a good feeling to know you have broken one, and the easiest way is by giving her a positive response to her, complimenting her on her shortness etc. I will not go into a lot of detail as I know there are other posts here which are specific to dealing with disarming bitch shields and handling tests.

The Girls:

So now we know the environment we are dealing with, lets look at what we are there for, the girls! In a club it isn’t likely that people are there to talk about their jobs, childhood or hobbies! They are there for a bit of fun, a release from everyday life! Many guys learning get bogged down in trying to talk to women in a club and wonder why their success rate isn’t high! Remember to bear in mind why they are there, to have fun! Now bitch shields are prevalent in night clubs, but why is this?

When a girl goes out she knows she will be hit on, and she will enjoy some of the attention but being honest, she is most likely out for a night with her friends, and after the third or fourth guy comes up to her she will start to put the shield up. Bear this in mind when approaching her, and so don’t be surprised if you don’t get her falling into your arms as soon as you say hi! Now I am not saying to expect, and indeed dread a bitch shield, just be prepared for one, there are other blog posts which deal with this so I will not devote any time to it, other than saying the best way to handle them is positively.

So what is the best way to minimise the chance (or potency) of a bitch shield, or even just how to increase the chance of a successful opener? Remember what they are there for, to have fun! If you open with an opinion opener about if you should dye your hair then that is certainly better than nothing but why not make it a bit more calibrated. They are there to have fun, have a party, escape from their usual world for a little bit. If you open in a way which communicates you are not in that state of mind then the opener is likely to fall flat, likewise if you open with something which doesn’t add to this and increase their enjoyment of the night.

You don’t have to be super high energy, just enjoying yourself (or at least appear to be). Nice, low pressure situational openers are ideal for early on in the night, and you can have short interactions before going back and opening them later on again for longer periods of time. Another way of opening is by forcing an IOI (Indicator of Interest) with a girl before opening, this way you have a good idea of whether she will be warm or not, and if she gives a good response then approach, if she doesn’t nothing has been lost, and you can move on safe in that knowledge.

As for comfort building and escalating remember that you don’t want to be shouting in her ear all night to ask about her pet dog! Instead dance with a few push pull moves (which have been covered in another post) and if you want to speak to her for long periods of time isolate her to a quieter part of the club or outside to the smoking area/outside the club. This is true for escalating with K-closes. However tempting it is try not to K close her in front of her friends, as this can hinder your chances of a same night lay and could damage the rest of the interaction, as she does not want to be seen as ‘easy’ so show a bit of understanding and isolate her first.

The Timing:

Time passes differently in a nightclub compared to the outside world. There are really only three ‘phases’ in a club which everyone experiences relative to their time in the club.

1. Establishment: This is the first phase when everyone has just arrived and they are still settling into the night. At this point extraction is possible but unlikely if they have paid a big entry fee (e.g. in London something around £10-20, for university students £5-8, in the USA I am unaware!). If they have been looking forward and have planned to be in this club at this day then it is also very hard to extract at this point, but if neither of these two points are applicable then it is perfectly possible to extract a set to another venue. People tend to be a bit more guarded at this point in the night,as they have not yet loosened up but it is a brilliant time to do some social proofing (asking short questions and having very short interactions with almost everyone).

2. Socialising: At this point people have had a bit more to drink, have caught up with each other and feel more comfortable and are willing to start socialising! You will notice more IOI’s are given off at this stage, however it is nearly impossible to extract at this point as people have just settled in and are enjoying themselves. Now is the time to follow up on the social proofing from earlier and also to engage for longer periods of time.

3. Closing: This phase occurs in the last hour or two of the club being open. Opening new sets is a little bit more difficult as it is likely they have had a few too many guys ‘try it on’ already, but extraction with the ones you have already interacted with becomes a real possibility, and even more likely if you have been seeding the idea and building enthusiasm about it for a little while beforehand. This is a time to be in one set only with the end point in mind.

The Strategy:

So hopefully with all of this information you will be able to start to increase your understanding and enjoyment of club game. Below I have outlined a step by step strategy for you to start gaming in a club effectively:

1. Establish a base, familiarise yourself with the club by social proofing, asking questions such as ‘where are the bathrooms, other bars etc’

2. Go back in and re-open some warm sets from the social proofing stage.

3. Spend some time on a dancefloor, ideally either with a set or opening new ones.

4. Go back in and re-open the warmest sets from earlier, spending a longer and longer period of time.

5. Prepare for extraction/closing by seeding the ideas.

6. Work to extract/close.

Go out there and try to implement this basic plan and utilise the advice given. If you have a question about club game which you would like answered leave a comment or send an email!

Next in this series of posts…bar game, have fun guys!

Karl

Are you ready? Take a deep breath. Ok

Often making out for the first time isn’t that hot.

Yep, I said it. Despite all of us PUA types mentally punching the air when we get a ‘K-Close’ often there are far sexier ways to entice a woman into bed.

K Close girl in Sardinia from Hayley Quinn on Vimeo.

Thanks to Hollywood, and bad romance novels, first kisses get a lot of good press: there is a beautiful moment of hesitation, then a perfectly executed kiss, and the world starts spinning etc.

This can all happen after a prolonged period of courtship, romance and all the other things that we’re certainly not considering when first kisses usually take place: on the dance floor of a nightclub at 1am. In this environment, so many times I’ve watched the magical first kiss moment disintegrate into a slobbery, overly enthusiastic affair, where being able to hold your breath for long periods of time seems to be the main objective. In fact they remind me of my first EVER kiss: I was thirteen, the boy did it for a 50p bet as I was the least attractive girl in school (check out that picture) and it was a harrowing, dishwasher-like experience.

Really, the kiss should be a prelude to a same night lay, but in these circumstances so often a poorly executed first kiss becomes a sexual deterrent instead.

Diving straight in for a french kiss says to a woman, “I’m the kind of guy who is all about hardcore action: you might as well forget about foreplay, seduction and orgasms when I’m around baby. I just want to bend you over and get down to business.”

This is not the message that you want to convey if you’re trying to get a woman to go home with you. You need to give her a carrot and stick motivation to have sex with you that night rather than play your ace too soon.

The carrot should be the fact that she thinks you’re going to be amazing in bed. This means lots of subtle, seductive kino around her erogenous zones. We’re talking light single finger strokes to her neck, inner arms, the small of her back. The best executed of these are often so subtle that no-one else in the bar or club is aware they’re going on- creating a seductive, secret that only the two of you share.

I also want you to scrap hugging and hand holding and replace it with far sexier light pressure from your hands holding onto her hips, gently squeezes as your hand drifts down her arm; your lips brushing her cheek, neck, wrists. Anything that screams ‘I know about foreplay, I will take my time to enjoy you tonight.’

There is truth in the expression, ‘always leave them wanting more’. A sloppy, slightly awkward kiss, that hasn’t had enough anticipation or build up, leave her thinking the exact opposite: ‘Whoa that’s enough.’

So give her an incentive (carrot) to come back with you by practicing subtle kino. Then deprive her of yourself fully (stick) so that in order to get sexual satisfaction from you she has to commit further to the interaction. This is why well known lotharios often pop out such beautiful lies as:

“I’m just not the kind of guy to make out with a girl in public, I want to enjoy my night, and all this…” gestures to woman, “…will have to wait until later.”

Or after kissing once on the lips, pulls away, stares deeply into the woman’s eyes, leans back or takes a woman by the arm and leads her to another place in the bar- rather than trying to escalate any further.

A good PUA knows that it is better to play your cards perfectly for a same night lay, rather than fold too soon by going for the kiss.

Forget, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’, and instead think ‘deprivation makes the lust grow stronger’ and you won’t go far wrong.

It takes a strong man to deprive me of what I want when I’m attracted to him. It is infuriating for me, but I also perceive the guy as a challenge, as being in control. This is attractive. Instead of weakly complying to my demands, if he decides when we get down and dirty on his terms then I only like him more, and the sex seems worth waiting for.

Xx

Hayley Quinn