It’s been a wonderful evening: you’ve eaten at an Italian chain restaurant, drunk the second cheapest bottle of wine on the menu, and gazed lovingly into this girl’s eyes for the past two hours. You’ve listened patiently to how she feels about her job, and you’re sure your legs were touching beneath the table, but when you suggest that it would be easier just to get a cab back to yours, you always get hit with the same response:

She bites her lower lip, looks up shyly and murmurs, “I can’t.”

Before you can understand how to change that ‘can’t’ into a ‘can’, you first have to realize that what she really means to say is ‘won’t’.

In reality there are very few times when a girl logistically, really, definitely, can’t go back to your place. However, often when we hear many of life’s can’t’s:

“I can’t because I’ve got work in the morning”

“I can’t because I’m kind of seeing someone”

“I can’t because my pet dog is, like, really sick”

Often we try and address the logistical solution to the problem instead of questioning why there isn’t enough desire there for her to have made the compromise of ditching work/ her boyfriend/ her friends/ her pets:

“Let me just look on google maps: yeah, I thought so, my house is actually nearer to your work than yours is. And I can give you a lift in the next morning.”

“He’ll never find out: I promise I won’t tweet about it or anything.”

“Maybe you can Skype your dog from my house? To check in on him??”

Trying to offer logistical solutions to why she ‘can’t’ do something often makes you sound desperate. Besides it’s not really that she’s got an early start the next day that’s the problem: if the desire is strong enough people will make the logistics work. That’s where the expression, ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way’ came from. Personally, I’ve done some crazy things in the name of hooking up with someone: ditched another date to pursue a new one, travelled on a night bus to the depths of London at 1am, got a flight to New York… not to mention routinely going without sleep!

So next time she says ‘can’t’ understand she means ‘won’t’:

“I won’t because work is tough at the moment, and I value my sleep more than having sex with you.”

“I won’t because I don’t fancy you enough yet to risk being caught out having an affair.”

“I won’t because you really turned me off over dinner when you picked your nose, so now I’m going to make up some lame excuse about my dog being sick in order to get away from you.”

As soon as you start to realize that whilst good logistics (you chose to meet up really close to your apartment so she could crash, you met up on a Saturday night so that she wouldn’t have work the next day) can help in getting laid; they mean nothing unless you’ve created enough desire for her to want to sleep with you.

So next time you get hit with a ‘can’t’ think of this:

Did you create enough comfort through having deep conversations about her sick dog for her to trust you?

Did you create enough attraction by making her smile, whilst remaining effortlessly ‘James Bond’ cool?

Did you make her feel sexual by touching her seductively? Or did you compromise the chances of her coming back with you for a night of passion with an OTT, slightly awkward, make out session?

Address these issues of desire first and foremost, and you’ll find that she can call in sick to work, cheat on her boyfriend, and even overcome your nose picking habits.

Hayley Quinn Xx

So you went out to a bar, had a couple of drinks, seduced a hot college girl (don’t worry I’ll be covering how you do this in later articles) and now you’ve woken up next to her in your bed. This is not a morning to regret- yet.

However, it could be, unless you establish some slick post-lay tactics to keep her coming back for more and not having a huge ‘what was I thinking’ moment at 9am.

Whilst I’m sure you look hot at 9am, after five shots of tequila and an all night sex session be wary of these few morning after clangers that can prevent this ever happening again:

No communication: There are some obvious pitfalls to you not speaking to her, or not communicating effectively, the morning after:

1. If you don’t offer any ‘after care’ service, she’ll feel that she has had to do ‘the walk of shame’. Take it from a girl, there is nothing fun about quietly letting yourself out of a guy’s house and having to creep home wearing the exact same clothes from the night before. Especially if those clothes happen to be five inch stilettos and a corset.
2. She may never leave. Big problem.

In all seriousness, not being able to string a sentence together, and at least some normal, friendly conversation, communicates to her that you’re uncomfortable with sex. If you feel awkward then she will too. People are like particles and so often give back exactly the same energy that they’ve been given. So if you come across as uncomfortable with the situation (of her waking up in your bed) then she’ll feel uncomfortable too. And no girl wants to hook up with a guy who is ‘weird’ after sex. We want men that are confident and at ease with their sexuality. So instead of ‘sleeping’ as she picks her clothes up and tip-toes out of your room, please be man enough to say:

“Hey, good morning, hope you slept ok? I’ve got a killer headache- I think that’s your fault from encouraging me to drink so much tequila! Here, let me get you a towel so you can grab a shower.”

This statement leads me nicely onto my next point:

Not leading: By leading I mean ‘taking the masculine initiative to take control of the situation’. Not leading is having no clue about what to do with this naked stunner, and so (in your panic) pandering to her every need, and asking her infinite questions about what she wants to do.

Just like not speaking much at all, having no sense of purpose, no plan, the morning after communicates to her that you’re not accustomed to this situation, and that you’re not comfortable with sex.

See how bad this sounds:

Her: “Good morning.”

You: “Hey, good morning, how are you feeling?”

Her: “A little hungover I guess!”

You: “Oh no, can I get you some Tylenol? Aspirin?”

Her: “No it’s ok I’ll survive.”

You: “Ok, how about some coffee? Or I can run to the store and get you some juice?”

Her: “It’s fine, I don’t want you to put yourself out. Besides, I should get to work.”

You: “Ok well if you’re sure. How about I give you a lift? Or would you prefer me to call a cab?”

This is an extreme version, but people do this all the time. And guess what? If this is how you behave, you’ll encounter similar problems to if you don’t communicate at all:

1. Your extreme ‘after care’ service will have her feeling awkward. Your lack of decision making will make her feel uneasy as you appear inexperienced in handling post-lay situations.
2. She may never leave. Big problem.

So let’s look at this constructively. You can still be cool, caring and conversational without appearing needy:

Her: “Good morning.”

You: “Hey, good morning, how are you feeling?”

Her: “A little hungover I guess!”

You: “Ok, now, based on how you were throwing those shots back last night I’m guessing you have no qualms with taking a few aspirin now. Here *hand her the packet*”

Her: “Oh, ok, thanks.”

You: “No problem. Look, I’m going to make myself some coffee and some toast; if you’ve got a moment before work I think you should join me. Three aspirin and no breakfast is a bad combination!”

Her: “Yeah, that would be nice. I’ll just have black coffee if that’s ok?”

You: “Sure. I’ll fix that up whilst you grab a shower. Then I’ll call a cab for you, so we can both be on time today.”

She should respond well to you having a plan. People will naturally comply, if you exhibit enough comfort with your decisions. This also allows you to arrange the morning after just as you want it, and at no stage does that mean you have to be a jerk. Keep your tone of voice friendly and calm and she will respect the decisions you make.

No Morning Sex: Ok there is an exception to this if you’re both physically ill the next day, but for god’s sake if she is stroking your back and snuggling up to you the next morning then have sex again! You’re not a professional football player, you will be ok to have sex before work! There are so many good reasons for this:

1. Give her some good sex memories, especially if the night before was acted out in a drunken haze.
2. You don’t want to appear uncomfortable with sex without your beer goggles on.
3. Waking up fifteen minutes earlier to accommodate for this, is well worth it if she leaves with a smile on her face, and an increased desire to come back again.

So remember get your ‘post-lay’ tactics down so that in a few months time, when I’ve helped to teach you how to get really good at picking women up, you can handle all the hot women you’ll be bringing home.

Hayley Quinn Xx

On my travels I have come across a wide variety of people. All of whom have either given me some amazing experiences, or a sharp lesson to be learnt. Sure, some can be quite tough to open, but there’s nothing like winning a girl round who was previously scowling at your audacity to start a conversation with her.

But proceed with caution young Daygamer, for there are many treacherous hidden traps that await you on your sexy quest.

Some girls are more steadfast 0n their mission to remain strictly ‘unopened’ and are, I’m not afraid to admit,  extremely difficult if not impossible to open.

Some others out there will do everything in their power to thwart your attempts at approaching the girl you want.

But by letting everyone know who these daygame villains are, hopefully it will help to give you guys a competitive edge. Once identified, maybe, just maybe, these daygame nightmares will be no match for your skill.

So who are they?

Let’s start with the easiest to overcome and make our way through to the vilest and scariest of them all.

1) The Stormtrooper

Ok, these girls are in a HURRY. Have you ever seen anyone power walking before? This is what The Stormtrooper does.

She is LATE.

For something.

I’m not sure what, but what whatever it is she needs to get there.

FAST.

Usually characterised by the panicked look on her face and the high velocity with which they travel, these characters are a very tricky breed indeed.

But all is not lost!

In my experience they are usually in a hurry for one of the following reasons:

1) they are late meeting a friend

2) they are late for work

3) they are running to catch a bus

4) they are trying to get to a job interview/casting

If you approach and you find out she’s doing one of these, there are two possibilities:

1) Tell her you’re going in the same direction and walk with her.

I think it is ideal if you can stop a moving girl and talk to her from a stationary position, but if there is no choice, as in this instance, then make sure you give a false time constraint as you start walking with her, for example, I’ve gotta go up this way but I’ve gotta head off to the right in a few minutes. The a false-time-constraint serves to intercept the thought that might pop into a girl’s mind when it is clear that you intent to stick around for a while – the thought that says “oh no, how long is this guy gonna be here for? What if he turns out to be a weirdo?”.

Of course, you’re not a weirdo, this thought just stems from a lack of information about you. She doesn’t KNOW that you’re not weird yet. So you throw in the false time constraint to navigate this social landmine, which will buy you some time to demonstrate your non-weirdness. Then when you feel the time is right you can tell you her really have to go, and go for the close. If the interaction has been short, it might be wise to go for a Facebook close rather than a number, as this is less likely to flake.

2) Go for a FAST close.

What you need to do is to voice concerns she may have, but as if they are your own concerns.

For example:

- you’re a complete stranger and she has no idea whether you’re a weirdo crazy person or not.

- this is a very unusual situation, people don’t normally do this.

- You might start texting me all the time and calling every day.

So I might say this to her:

“Look, you’re super cute – and you don’t SEEM like a crazy person ;) … I’d really like to talk properly but I’m in a MASSIVE rush, I’ve got a meeting to rush to. I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m REALLY busy at the mo, but if I get a spare sec at some point I’ll shoot you a text or something. Put you’re number in here. Quick I’ve gotta go!”

Make sense?

So you’re kind of addressing all the issues she might be thinking, but you’re telling her that’s what you’re thinking about HER.

Jolly good. If you follow this advice, you’d be surprised what you can get away with.

I once stopped and number closed a very cute girl as she was about to jump into a waiting taxi! :)

2) The Blank Foreigner

The arch nemesis of the BNP (British National Party – small right wing/fascist political party here in the UK). According to Mr Griffin (the leader of the party) they represent everything that is bad about the world!

Well, Mr Griffin clearly hasn’t been to Sweden.

Or Denmark.

Or Norway.

Because if he had, he probably wouldn’t have come back (not a bad thing…).

Let’s face it, when the big cheese upstairs was dishing out the good looks, english people were in bed, with a hangover, after downing 15 pints of stella the night before due to the football match on down the pub. By the time they turned up the big man didn’t have much left in his sexy sack.

I wasn’t there at the time, but from the results of his handy-work I’d guess that camping out at the front of the line weeks before the pearly gates even opened for business, were the Swedish, Danish, Norwegians, Russians, Lithuanians, Latvians, Brazilians and Argentinians.

So, as you can probably tell, I LOVE foreign girls.

I PREFER foreign girls.

But there is one type of foreigner that evades me still.

The Blank Foreigner.

There she is. Her blonde russian locks rippling in the autumn wind as you walk towards her.

She smiles at you. You smile back.

Time to do some daygame.

“Excuse me, were you smiling at me there? Or just thinking of puppies?”

Her smile fades.

The blank look.

“eerr….. um….. no.. english….”

Shit.

“Oh… erm…. er…. I…… I SAID, YOU….. smile at me?!   um….. ”

The blank look.

Crap.

What’s the best thing to do in this situation? Well, if you have a notepad and pen with you, you could definitely have a fun interaction with her by drawing things on the pad to describe what you’re saying. I’ve done this a few times and it’s been loads of fun. I once number closed a really cute Japanese girl who literally didn’t speak a word of English by doing this. But when I called her I realised how completely pointless that was! (think about it)

I usually like to gesture my opener to the girl if she doesn’t speak english.

“I” (point to me)

“saw you” (point to my eyes, then to her)

walking” (show my fingers walking)

And I thought you looked gorgeous (put my hands on my heart and pretend im dumbstruck)

Usually gets a cool reaction :)

Saving that the best thing you can do to prepare to tackle The Blank Foreigner is to LEARN THEIR LANGUAGE. Or carry around a rucksack full of translation books everywhere you go!

3) The Psychic

Psychics are impossible to spot, until it’s too late. They look like every other girl. The act like every other girl. But there is a difference.

They can read your mind.

Allow me to elaborate:

You see a really cute girl walking in the street. You consider approaching her, but you have AA. Wait, fuck it, remember what Andy said! Just do it! Ok, let’s do it!

But the SECOND you decide that you ARE going to approach her, she hails a taxi, darts into a shop, pulls out her phone or starts running in the other direction.

Dammit! What are the chances?

This is a common occurrence for the seasoned Daygamer.

Sometimes you come across a special breed of ‘EvilPsychics’ that prefer to wait till the very second you’re about to open before they get on the phone, dart into a shop, or run for a bus. They get a kick out of knowing that they thwarted you right at the last moment.

The only way to combat a psychic in my experience is to show her that you WILL NOT BE DENIED!

“Oh you’re making a phone call? It’s too bad that I’m gonna have to interrupt the call”

“You’ve disappeared into Topshop? Well, I guess now I’ve gotta go in there after you!”

You get the idea.

Don’t let a psychic win. Show her that she can read your thoughts all she wants – you are the kind of man who doesn’t take no for answer. You see Psychic’s test men just like other girls, e.g, but putting up a bit of token resistance, only they do it before you’ve even approach! They test your INTENTION to approach. The only way to win is the APPROACH! Once she see’s that her psychic abilities are no match for your raw masculine determination you’ll have her melting all over her glass ball.

4) The Ninja

I will tell you now that closing a ninja is impossible.

Have you ever closed a Ninja?

No?

That’s because it’s impossible.

Ninja’s are out there on the streets – and like the psychics, are disguised as normal girls. Ninja’s aren’t psychic… at least I don’t think they are. All I know is.. is that they seem to know what I’m going to do and when I’m going to do it. I can only assume it’s down to their secret ninja skills.

The following is a prime example of a ninja at work.

I’ll be out teaching a student, looking for some nice girls for him to approach. In the distance there is a pedestrian clearing – a large space open to the public – it is totally deserted except for one lone girl. She is very sexy indeed.

Perfect I think.

I turn to my student and tell him to approach that sexy girl over in that clearing.

“What girl?” he says.

I point to the clearing. “That girl…….” and realise that I’m pointing into open space.

The girl has vanished.

The wind picks up, and out of the corner of my eye I see a blurred shadow pass by one of the rooftops. Nothing is left in the space where she was apart from some dust in the air, slowly settling after what looks like some kind of disturbance moments before.

That girl was a ninja. And ninja’s don’t like to talk to strangers.

5) The Mirage

We tend to trust our senses. The more hard-headed of you tend not to believe something until you see it for yourselves. I know I didn’t truly believe this pick-up stuff could work untill I saw someone else do it with my own eyes.

But sometimes our eyes can play tricks on us. What appears to be there at first, ends up not being there.

Like WMD’s in iraq (erm.. andy.. this isn’t really the time to get polital. Let’s stick to girls ok?)

Maybe things can CHANGE before your eyes. They look like one thing, then as you get closer, you realise that it’s something completely different.

This, unfortunately, occurs far too often in Daygame. So often infact you start to question your very senses.

One minute you are strolling up to who you think is Miss Sweden 2009, then just as you say hello and she turns round, you realise you’re actually talking to Miss Basildon 1983.

In your head all you can hear is your mental co-pilot screaming “EJECT” EJECT! EJECT!”, but it’s too late. You’ve opened, and now you’ve gotta stick with it. Running is an option, but definitely a rude thing to do. Best thing to do is ask for direction then politely thank her an be on your way.

You can clean your eyeballs with a wire brush when you get home.

6) The Boyfriend

I think these characters are related to Ninjas.

If not by blood, then definitely by association. They know their ways.

Dressed as regular people they move fast and unseen, camouflaged in a sea of innocent people.

Then out of nowhere they appear then vanish just as suddenly, taking with them the girl of your dreams who only seconds before you had just fallen in love with.

Sometimes they strike before you get a chance to approach.

You see  the girl, build up the courage to go and speak to her, then seconds before impact, he appears in a cloud of smoke, whisks her off her feet and carries her off into the sunset.

Other times it’s not quite so simple.

You’re walking along the highstreet.

You’ve walked this path many times before. You know every shop, every slab of pavement, every tree. You barely pay attention.

Then you see her. Suddenly you’re world comes alive. What was once a grey, dull landscape is now made up of bright vivid colours.

Life is beaufiful.

She is beautiful.

Dazzling.

You must talk to her.

But I can’t… she’s out of my league… there’s no way she’d like someone like me… no… no.. come on.. what did Andy say?  What was Matthew Hussey’s line again?….  “If you can’t, you must!”

I can’t….

so I MUST!

Fuck it, you adjust your course and head straight towards her.

Your heart suddenly decides to let you know you’re doing something silly.

Your stomach feels left out, so jumps on the jolly bandwagon.

Now your legs are in on the action.

Shit, too late to turn back now…

“Hi… excuse me…. sorry to bother you, I just saw you walking past and…”

Suddenly a caped man swoops down from the sky and embraces the beautiful girl in his arms of steel, kisses her on the lips and then turns to you with a smile.

“Hiya mate, what’s up?”

“um…. i just…… um…. wondered if you knew where Leicester Square is?”

Phew – good thing you’re quick on your toes – catastrophe averted!

(seriously though, if this ever happens to me I just tell the truth, then compliment the guy on his taste in women and say he’s a lucky guy and shake his hand. It shows the guy respect, and I’ve never had a single bad response – even if the guy did have arms of steel!)

7) The Dad

You see the girl waiting on the corner of a street, and decide to approach (hopefully thanks to my advice!). You open, she smiles – it looks like you could do quite well.

But wait…

Something’s wrong…

A disturbance in the force.

A glitch in the matrix.

Suddenly you realise.

What you had previously thought was a film poster advertising the latest brutal action film with the cage fighting lookalike lead actor glaring out from under the film title, is infact, a massive scary cage fighting man glaring at you infront of a what you can now see is a Disney film poster.

There’s no mistaking this man. It’s The Dad.

Now let’s get something clear; The Dad does not like you.

You could be the nicest guy in the world, and could have opened in the most charming way possible. It makes no difference.

Unlike her mum, sister or friends, this man knows what men are like, and will assume you are the worst of them. As you stand there trying to keep your breathing in check, he is imagine you doing things to his daughter that would definitely not make the cut in that Disney film.

His precious daughter.

His angel.

His princess.

You are in big trouble. You have seconds to act, or this interaction is over.

As far as I can see it, you have three options:

1) Run – you’ll get away, but the number is unlikely unless she runs after you!

2) Quickly revert you’re opener to an indirect opener. You’re just a friendly guy asking for directions. You definitely do NOT want to do anything with this girl that The Dad would not happily agree to. Start talking to The Dad as soon as you can. Charm him. Win him over. Make him laugh. Make him like you. Once he likes you, you are in with a chance. At the end of the interaction either ask him if it would be ok to grab his daughter’s number (risky, but can work), or better still, tell them about this party you’re having in a few weeks and both should come down. The number close should be easy from here – obviously you don’t want the dad coming to any party of yours – you can just tell her later that the party has been cancelled and game as normal. The key is that you got the number.

3) If you’ve already gone direct and the dad knows exactly what you’re up to, turn you’re attention immediately to The Dad and engage him in the interaction. Tell him the direct opener. Tell him what you’re saying about the daughter – this way it looks like you’re almost asking his permission, or seeking his approval – so he will feel you are being very respectful. If he responds well then you are in with a chance. If he doesn’t then you might want to consider reverting back to option 1.

——–

If I discover any more dastardly villains out there I will upload a revised article. For everyone reading this, If you know of another daygame foe that I’ve overlooked please let me know!

Andy Yosha
(http://www.puatraining.com/andyyosha)