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Hey guys,

Wow, I can’t believe it has been so long since I last posted! Jumping on the New Year bandwagon this is actually a post I meant to put up around November but never got around to it.

The Background.

When with a student I like to refer to how important a first impression is. If your first impression isn’t strong, you face a battle to make up lost distance, and then prove to her that you are a cool guy worth spending time with.

Now a few people might have read that and start crying out old pick-up mantras: ‘But I’m the prize! She should want to game me!’ Let’s be honest with ourselves here, none of that is true… at least not straight away.

You only become the prize once you have proven you are the prize. Very few girls will actively view you straight away as someone to be chased and invested in without you having shown them why. It can happen, but only in special circumstances. In a regular bar, nightclub or in the street, you need to show them why you are worth the effort.

And all this comes down to making a good first impression.  By doing this you are cutting out a great deal of work for yourself, as most of the qualities you need to convey, aside from conversational ability and escalation ability, can be demonstrated in that initial moment. That’s why we are going to have a look at these qualities and go through how to show them effectively in this post.

The Breakdown

 
First let’s break this down into two sections, the initial look, and the initial contact. The initial look is what they see when they first look at you. The first judgement they will make. It comes in three parts:
1) Fashion.
2) Body language.
3) Value in the environment.

Each of these three things are related to your overall value. If all three (minimum two out of three) are high, then you come across as a high value guy and the girl is more likely to be open to you approaching, forcing IOI’s, etc. Without them, it will naturally be more of an uphill battle.
The initial contact comes in when you actually open your mouth and deliver the opener, and comes in four parts.
1) Eye contact.
2) Body language.
3) Vocal tonality.
4) Proximity.

Together these four things make the strongest impression when making contact. Strong eye contact is a sign of a comfortable, secure and confident man. This is especially true when combined with relaxed body language.

By having a voice that is paced (by which I mean you aren’t speaking too fast), this shows an air of dominance and authority. Notice how good public speakers pause and slow down as they say their key points. It is the same theory here.

Finally, your proximity (how close you are standing) to them will grab their attention and make sure they have noticed you. The ideal distance is right on the edge of their comfort zone. If you want a guide, it would be the same distance from your elbow to the tips of your fingers, if your arm were bent at your side.

The worst thing that can happen when you open is not for a girl to say ‘no thanks’ and then to turn away. It is for her to say ‘excuse me?’ (or much more likely in England ‘what?’). If you haven’t got her attention before you open your mouth it is an uphill struggle from there. It is far better to create a good first impression with a bit of thought and effort, and make the work later a bit easier, rather than springing a surprise opinion opener on a girl without her knowing you are going to say something beforehand.

So there we have a bit of a mindset (though slightly technical) first post of the New Year for you all. I plan on finishing my Strategy for Nightgame post series soon, but in the mean time if you have any questions on this or my other posts, please do not hesitate to contact me on: karl@puatraining.com

Until next time!

Karl

Hey guys,

This is a post I have got around to writing pretty quickly. I was giving a talk on our bootcamp last weekend and while covering K-closing technique a thought occurred to me: what should a kiss say?

In the movie Hitch, Will Smith says: ‘8/10 women believe the first kiss will tell them everything they need to know about the relationship.’

The words unsaid...

Well while the statistic might not be completely accurate there is certainly truth in it. Just as dancing relates to sex, a kiss can relate to your whole role in a relationship with a woman. What she can expect from a guy both sexually and emotionally.

For instance are you a guy who will lunge forward in the hope he will make the right move? Are you timid to start with and needs some encouragement before finally giving her what she really wants? Are you aggressive and dominant, maybe even to the point of ignoring the signals she is giving you? Or are you be the guy who starts a fire with barely a touch.

What does your kiss say about you?

What are we looking for?

We know what we are aiming for, so how do we make her see fireworks? Bear in mind a few things:

1. Read her actions: what you want is not always what she wants. This is obvious with sex, it is almost more important at this stage as it will communicate that you can be as savvy in the bedroom as you can be in the club, and with that in mind…
2. Do not be afraid to dominate! We tend to talk about being an alpha male, and leading and being dominant is a key feature of this, so why do some men fall down at the kiss? Make sure that you are showing you can give her that masculine presence she needs all the way through!
3. Don’t arrive at the party too late! Take the initiative and don’t wait for her to be giving you IOI’s (indicators of interest) akin to stadium lights before you kiss her. But on that note…
4. Don’t speed. When actually going in for the kiss, which she should know you are doing, don’t be afraid to let some suspense build. It shows sexual confidence that transfers to the bedroom.
5. One type of firework is boring. Just as flowers every birthday or anniversary, or the same move in bed every night kills a relationship, kissing her in the same way each time kills a bit of the passion. Try not to do the same thing repeatedly. Instead vary your method, keep her guessing, and wanting, more.
6. Wait for Christmas to open your present. Don’t be too eager. Back off every now and then, many guys start kissing a girl and don’t slow down or sometimes even stop! This can kill off a vibe so make sure you can keep things at a good pace.

The IOI’s you are looking for so you know when to go in for the kiss are simple and easy to spot, the easiest being her looking at your lips. Playing with her hair/neck, blushing and having dilated pupils are all good indicators as well.

Everything we crave

Technique

Now everyone has their own techniques that they like to use when going in for the kiss, I myself have a few that I teach to clients, but what about actually kissing her? Follow these few tips to keep these moments varied and explosive:

1. Kiss her with your eyes first. This is a standard, before you kiss her for the first time let her know what you are about to do by slowing down and looking at her like you are going to kiss her. Tilt your head a bit; maybe lift her chin up a fraction, let her anticipate the moment.
2. Foreplay is important. Trace certain features with a caressing finger before kissing her. The jaw line, cheek, and especially the lips are all great for building up to the big moment.
3. Only one thing should get stiff. Relax is a big bit of advice! If you are too stiff and rigid with your kiss then it doesn’t quite scream ‘I am cool with this’ It translates that you are quite nervous and therefore probably don’t get to this point with chicks much.
4. Get primal. Tug her hair lightly while in a more intense kiss to really kick on the primal level and tap into your alpha male caveman! Bear in mind it should be lightly, unless she is into that sort of thing, in which case you will find out pretty quickly if she is.
5. Biting got Dracula laid. Biting her lower lip lightly adds a very sensual, but dominating edge to a kiss, but again, if she is into the painful side of sex, you will get back better than you got!
6. Clean your ears. And hope she cleans hers! The ear is an on show erogenous zone, so make use of it! Whether by giving it a gentle kiss, lick, bite or (a big favourite of mine) just breathing on it, make sure you utilize this area.
7. Control the French in you. While using a bit of tongue is great, don’t overdo it and go for it every time. Some of the most sexual kisses can be something as simple as looking into her eyes and giving her a brief, but sensual kiss before pulling away. Deprive her a little bit.
8. Lingering feelings take time to go away. The lips are an incredibly sensitive area of the body, so give both of you a treat and after you kiss her softly, or even before you kiss her at all let your lips just brush over hers. The sensation is highly sexual and yet deprives her of full satisfaction.

So that brings me to the end of another huge post. I hope that this will be of use to some of you. As usual please leave a comment telling me what you think :-)

Until next time!

Karl

Hey guys I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, but things have been really busy here…

I recently worked with MTV as one of the coaches for the show MADE.

Been working on social circle and entourage game, which is going great and I encourage everyone to do.

Meeting (and learning) from some of the best in the community, such as Steve P and Hypnotica.

As well as preparing to tour America with AFC Adam teaching bootcamps next month!

Last time I posted I talked about the core of what exactly attraction is, which is great for understanding but nothing you can put to use right away.  So this time I’m going to give you guys some goodies that you can immediately put to use and have a lot of fun along the way, regardless of whether you’re a newbie or advanced.  I’ve got two openers I recently came up with that work AMAZINGLY well and I decided it’s time to share.  Keep in mind that I have a very playful style so this might not be congruent with everyone, still I suggest you try these out regardless.

The first opener is for one of the most dreaded situations a PUA faces in the field. The girls who are crazy high energy, or all dancing on each other.  We know to come in with higher energy and give value to the set but when they are clearly having so much fun already it becomes daunting to try and “bring the party”.  I’m sure for those who have been out you know exactly what I’m talking about.  This bothered me for quite a while so I developed an opener SPECIFICALLY for this type of situation, and here it is.

Walk up with a big smile and place yourself in the set where you can be most viewed by everyone, you might have to gently move a girl out of the way.  Loudly and clearly, since the more members of the group who hear the better, say “Ok, which one of you ordered the male stripper?”.  Then watch as mayhem occurs.  Usually what happens is the group will role play back and pick a girl for which you can trade lap dances with, playfully begin a strip tease show, get away with tons of kino, and easily transition from there.  The only thing to watch for is staying in the super high energy and entertainer role for to long since you can easily become a dancing monkey. 

The second opener is fairly new but did amazingly well when field tested by myself, and other skilled PUAs I know.  It also opens a WHOLE NEW STYLE of openers for you guys to try out, I call them “Singing Openers”.  The idea is you go in and right from the start begin singing to the girl.  The song I chose was the song from Aladin so I’m naming it the “Aladin Opener”.  I’m not even sure if these are the right words but here’s what I sung…

“I will show you the world, shining shimmering splendor.  Over, under, together, on a magic carpet ride.”  Then simply said “Sound good?”.

Only sing one or two lines since it’s more then enough and if done right the girl will giggle like mad and blush, in some cases even join in!  This actually started as a joke that I didn’t think would seriously work, but the field proved me wrong.  It also works as a great weeding tool for me since the kind of girls I like are playful and would find the humor in that kind of opener.  It also shows tremendous confidence, unattatchment to the outcome, playfulness, being in your own reality, high energy and bringing the party, as well as something unique that brings them back to fond childhood memories.  Students of NLP can appreciate that last part.

What if it goes bad and the girl gives a negative response or looks at you weird?  Simply say “Oh that’s a shame, you’ve already been jaded by (city you live in).  I’m sure there’s still a girl wanting to be a disney princess.”  However I’ve yet to need this line yet…

Try these out guys and post your experiences with them here.  Next time I’ll be sharing with you guys proof and motivation that anyone can become amazing at this and really change, so keep a look out.

Also remember….”If you’re not having fun, you’re not playing the game”

-Psych